I coughed. “I made my own paints,” I said.
Surprised, she met my eyes. “Yes?”
“Out of pigment and gum arabic. And honey. The honey makes it stick.”
“Oh. Are these homemade?”
I shook my head. “Those, no—those are Winsor Newton. Jonathan gave me the paints and the paper.”
“You’ve made good use of them.” She held them out. I reached for them, touched their roughness, looked at their density of color. I didn’t want to leave—I had a million questions. About galleries and who ran what and how did a person make enough money to get her family out of a welfare hotel.
“Where do you go to school?” she asked.
“Cady High. I’m a junior next year.”
“Do you take art classes?”
I told her about Mr. Garci. “Do you want to see some of my drawings?”
“I don’t have time right now.” She began to turn away.
I started talking fast. “Do you think I could come back? Show you some more stuff, when I make some?”
She indicated the lighted box full of tiny pictures. “I get hundreds of slides every week from people who want to show in this gallery. I simply don’t have time to mentor a child. Ask your teacher for help.”
I felt a gathering in me, a small chance like a tear in fabric I needed to push through to get to another side. “I’m not a child, I’m seventeen, and I won’t waste your time, Ms. Dillinger. You said it yourself, I’m good. I could be great. All I ask is—just—every once in a while, I come in, show you what I’m doing. That’s all.”
The bottle caps dangled from her ears like something Ma would make for luck. Only Dillinger was shaking her head. “I have far too much to do.”
I hurried on, piling words on top of words. “I could help you. I built a dome house with my father once. I can move things, paint walls, drill. I know how to use a chain saw.” Would she think I was nuts?
Her eyebrows raised. “You’re a persistent thing, aren’t you?”
I held out the paintings like an offering, a gift. “I’ll even give you one of my very special watercolors. A collector’s item. I’m going to be famous. Choose one. It’ll be worth millions someday.”
She met my eyes—this time really seeing me—then she took the watercolors. She picked the one of Dado’s zeppelin in the trees and handed back the rest.
“I’ll come back when I have more to show you,” I told her.
“You do that,” she said, putting the painting on her desk and leaning over the slides.
“Thank you. You won’t regret this,” I said.
But she was already absorbed in the light.
I went out, past the buttoned-up guy at the desk and onto the street. I took out my pad and sketched the words on the building, DILLINGER GALLERY. Underneath, I drew what I imagined it might be like to have a show there—my paintings hanging, people looking, the newspaper articles written about me. Bodies swirled around me as I drew. The sounds of the city fell away, and it was just me, drawing. I felt him watching me, a Blake angel from above, whispering— and then I put my pad away and walked back into the dangerous world.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Julie Chibbaro
Thanks to:
Most of all, Jean-Marc Superville Sovak, for being the first to show me how to see beyond the surface. Jill Grinberg, for seeing and believing. Jen Hunt, for taking a chance. Sharyn November, for adopting, caring, and transforming, and for raising the bar ever higher. Jim Hoover, for such fresh design. Lisaana Otter, for being a great big sister. My Prague writers workshop, especially Anthony Tognazzini, Alan Thomas, and Laura Zam, and to Shannon McCormick, who gave me the first line.
All the artists who let me interview them for hours on end and lent me awesome books and movies and let me take pictures of their stuff to study:
Billy “Bilrock-161” Harmon (www.rtwplanet.com)
Jay “Braze1” Sayers (www.braze1workz.com)
Ron English (www.popaganda.com)
thundercut: Kalene Rivers, Dan Weise (www.thundercut.com/index.php)
Karlos “Odessy3” Cárcamo (www.karloscarcamo.com/home.html)
Dan Witz (www.danwitz.com)
And Armand “Mirage” Herreras, for being real live inspiration all throughout high school and beyond (www.historicpaintinganddeco.com).
MAJOR INFLUENCES
THE ARTISTS
Andy Warhol (www.warhol.org). Keith Haring (www.haring.com). Lee Quiñones (www.leequinones.com). Patti Astor and her Fun Gallery (www.thefungallery.com). Lady Pink (www.pinksmith.com). Swoon (www.facebook.com/SwoonStudio).
Jean-Michel Basquiat (www.basquiat.com).
THE BOOKS
The Art of Getting Over by Stephen Powers, Getting Up by Craig Castleman, Subway Art by Martha Cooper and Henry Chalfant, Trespass by Carlo McCormick and the Wooster Group, Wall and Piece by Banksy.
THE MUSICIANS
Run-D.M.C., Grandmaster Flash, the Beastie Boys, Blondie, Michael Jackson, the B-52s.
THE FLICKS (AND DOZENS OF YOUTUBE VIDS)
Wild Style, Style Wars, The Warriors, Dogtown and Z-Boys, Beautiful Losers, early MTV, Andy Warhol’s TV, Exit Through the Gift Shop.
For more influences, art, and other fun stuff, and to add your own, visit www.intothedangerousworld.com.
JM Superville Sovak
To my mom, for helping me believe, to my dad, for teaching me to draw, and, above all, to Julie, my love and fiercest supporter.
Julie Chibbaro grew up in New York City right when graffiti was exploding across the subway cars she rode to school. Raised by artists, she has spent her life figuring out what makes them tick. She is also the author of Redemption (winner of the American Book Award) and the historical novel Deadly (winner of the National Jewish Book Award, a Top Ten title on ALA’s Amelia Bloomer Project list, and a Bank Street Best Book), illustrated by her husband, the artist JM Superville Sovak. Her website is www.juliechibbaro.com.
JM Superville Sovak is half-Trini, half-Czech, half-Canadian. His fourth half is spent making art. His work has been shown at the Manifesta European Biennial of Contemporary Art, Socrates Sculpture Park, and the Aldrich Museum. Into the Dangerous World is his second collaboration with his wife, Julie Chibbaro. See more at www.supervillesovak.com.
Julie and JM live in New York with their daughter.
www.intothedangerousworld.com
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