“At the very least, I’d like to have a say,” Jane said, “and not right after the decision’s already been made.”
“Can you imagine what it would be like if the positions were reversed?” Sophie asked. “And we told them what to do because we thought we had some innate knowledge that they didn’t about what was best for them?”
The two girls started laughing again until their stomachs hurt. When they calmed down, they were still smiling.
“I’ve missed this,” Jane said, her voice warm and soft. “I’ve missed talking to you. I know it’s been a week, but I feel like so much has changed that it’s been almost a lifetime.”
Sophie nodded her head in agreement. “It’s good that we have this time to catch up and breathe,” she said. “Okay, I’ve been meaning to ask you. I know it’s none of my business, but what’s going on between you and Depogare? Am I crazy, or did something change between the two of you?”
Jane felt herself blush, which, in her mind, was answer enough. But Sophie was her best friend, and she trusted her. As such, she told Sophie everything: from their first kiss to their first fight, which led to her attack. How they got close in his room while she was recovering. From the dreams they shared together. How he was sour and hard on the outside but warm and soft on the inside. How they kissed when she came back. How she slept next to him in his bed. How he helped clean her wounds. How they both confessed they were in love.
“Dude,” Sophie said with a grin.
Jane knew her entire face was so red, no one could make out the freckles on her face. “I know,” she replied. “But hey, this isn’t just about me. It’s pretty obvious you and Will are a thing. Whatever happened to Jason?”
Now, it was Sophie’s turn for a long-winded narrative about the ups and downs of her love life. She caught Jane up on her week alone in Washington with Will, even to the point where she admitted she had technically cheated on Jason despite the fact that she broke up right away with him once she got back to school. She talked about being with Will, and how different it was, how happy and safe he made her feel. She talked about her confrontation with Jason, how he found out about her and Will, and the guilt that racked her brain. And finally, how she and Will had taken it to the next step, how they had made love, and how much she enjoyed it with him.
“I want that,” Jane said, in a voice just above a whisper. Her eyes were locked on her knees and her fingers were fiddling with the necklace Daryl had given her for her birthday. She couldn’t believe that had been a month and a half ago. It felt like so much longer. “I really do. The whole thing with Cillian …” She stopped, trying to order her thoughts so they would come out right. “It wasn’t as violent as the word implies. It’s why I didn’t think I was raped in the first place. He didn’t threaten me or even hurt me. He just kept asking me to do it until I gave in. For the longest time, I thought it was my fault." Jane stopped, her eyes suddenly starting to fill with water. It was hard to speak, difficult to get her voice out without cracking it. She hated being emotional. She hated being vulnerable. "I was ashamed. I was so mad at myself for not fighting back, not standing up for myself. Even today, there's a part of me that's upset with myself. I could have walked out. I could have left. I think maybe that's why I push back too hard or I start fights; I'm afraid to let anyone walk all over me again. Afraid that if I don't fight, I'll be taken advantage of. The difference is, I know Daryl would never do that. I want to do it with him so bad it's embarrassing, but he hasn't made a move yet. I know it'll be different with him. I just hope he wants to do it with me too."
Sophie snorted. "You should see the way he looks at you when you don't pay attention," she said. Something inside of her clicked, and she blinked, looking over at Jane. "Jane."
Jane tilted her head to the side, confused. "Yes ...?" she said slowly.
"That's it!" Sophie exclaimed. "How could we not have seen it before? Do you remember how you got into my head and basically forced me to leave you behind that night at the gala, but I thought it was me?"
Jane nodded, still unsure where this was going and how this was relevant.
"Okay, well, what if you did the same thing to Michael?" Sophie asked, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. "Hell, do it to Arbuckle for good measure. What if you could program them to not come after us, to keep our secret, and to leave us alone?"
Jane needed time to think. It sounded like a good plan, something she would have jumped to agree with. If she could ensure the safety of peculiars using her powers, she would almost be obligated to use them for the greater good. The only thing holding her back was the concept of free will. Early on in her peculiar education, Depogare talked about free will and how important it is they don't use their power at the detriment of panpi. Just because they could didn't mean they should. But these were extenuating circumstances. Michael wasn't going to stop until he had Sophie. Bodies might keep piling up.
And the same could be said for Arbuckle. He definitely wouldn't stop until he had Jane. It was lucky no one was hurt either with them shooting so carelessly at the main building. Even so, did that give her the right to compel people to do something?
Jane didn't know. It was definitely something they would have to bring up to the guys later on. She wouldn't be able to make that decision without some sort of guidance.
"That's a good idea," Jane agreed out loud.
And it was. But that didn't mean it was the right one.
21
The next morning, Sophie and Will woke up early to train. Usually, Sophie would take a shower both before and after training to wake her up and wash her down, but she was too tired this morning and preferred the extra fifteen minutes of sleep. Plus, California was suffering from a major drought and she was trying to do her part to conserve water as best as she could. When she did finally wake, Will was already gone. He left a protein bar on the table and a note that said, "Hurry, before I double our run time."
That was motivation enough.
In four minutes and eighteen seconds, her red hair was up in a ponytail, and she was dressed in comfortable workout clothes and new running shoes. She was proud of the fact that they all matched. When she headed to the field, her chin was high and she developed a bit of a strut to her walk.
When she passed the front gates, however, she stopped. It wasn't as though Sophie wanted to linger or stare. She couldn't help it. Her feet suddenly sprung roots and would not let her pull away. Her eyes would not shut, not even to blink. It was as though her body mandated that she notice this area, that she take it on without the noise, without the distraction, without anyone else. The moment was hers and hers alone.
Cillian's body had been removed, thankfully, but police tape indicated that no one could cross just yet. She wondered if Ethan called the police or if he was handling it himself. Would it be illegal if he was? Cillian was panpi, but it happened on the academy grounds.
Wait, did it? Was Cillian killed here? Sophie knew his body was definitely mutillated here. The image of his intestines spilling out of his body was still vivid in her mind, like a brand she'd be stuck with for the rest of her life. Her stomach pinched, warning her that if she didn't stop thinking about it now, she'd keel over and start up chucking her stomach acid.
She checked her emotions for any indication on how she felt. It was hard to decipher, even now, because she still couldn't wrap her head around what she had seen, what had happened. It bothered her because she felt like she was being weak, selfish. It was Brielle's brother that had been killed; there was no reason for Sophie to react the way she was reacting. Cillian was no one to her. If anything, a part of her hated him for what he did to Jane and what he did to Brielle. The guy wasn't worth feeling sorry for, which sounded messed up, but that was how she felt.
However, he was still a human being, and no human being deserved to die in that way. No one.
What she was having trouble dealing with was the fact that, if Michael was the one responsible, he had killed Cillian because of her
. For her.
Well, Sophie reasoned, I’m not the sole reason. If Brielle had really cut ties with Michael and refused to help him, she was the reason why Cillian died. Maybe Sophie was making a bigger deal about this in relation to her than she needed to. This was about Brielle, not her. The only reason this might have anything to do with Sophie was the fact that Michael was the prime suspect.
Sophie bit her lip. Something wasn't right here. Something wasn't adding up.
"You okay?"
Will's rough voice laced with gruff exhaustion caused Sophie to physically jump. He chuckled, and she tried to calm her racing heart back down.
"I'm sorry," he told her, and though his hazel eyes were still dancing with amusement, she knew he meant it.
"What did they do with him?" Sophie asked, her eyes still focused on the black gates. She could make out dark crimson stains on the cold metal, a reminder of what had been there not so long ago. "His body, I mean."
"Ethan called his connections in the Catalina Police Department," Will explained. "Peculiars have their own branch of law enforcement, even though it's underground."
"Wait, so peculiars are legitimate police officers, but they have their own secret unit to investigate peculiar crimes?" Sophie asked. "Am I getting that right?"
Will nodded. "They came out last night, gathered evidence, removed the body," he explained. "They don't want anyone contaminating the scene, which is why the tape is up. They're still investigating the area."
"Any suspects?"
Will looked at her, suddenly perplexed. His eyes narrowed slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Besides the obvious?" he asked.
"Do they know about him?" Sophie wasn't sure what was said and what wasn't. She wasn't sure if other peculiars knew of Michael. In fact, she had no idea Michael had even been a student here until after Ethan mentioned it yesterday and after Michael knew exactly where to find everyone. "Hell, I don't even know about him." She sounded bitter and wouldn't apologize for it.
"Why do you want to know about him anyway, kid?" Will asked, and though Sophie could admit Will was trying to stay neutral and nonchalant, she could detect a possessive tone tainting his words.
"Michael and I are the same thing, Will," she explained. She didn't know why she felt guilty and uncomfortable talking about this with Will. "I know you don't want to hear it, but it's true. When I'm around him, I feel—"
"You don't have to tell me how you feel," Will growled, his eyes flashing a dangerous gold. "I was a student here. I know what it's like."
"I'm sure it was the same for you and Dianna," Sophie pointed out.
This time, Will did growl. "I don't want to talk about my past," he told her, and there was no room for argument.
"I'm not asking you to," Sophie asked. "You asked me a question. I'm answering it. I thought I could talk to you about this stuff. Why are you starting a fight over it?"
"I'm not," Will said. "You tell me how you'd feel if I was asking questions about some guy who shouldn't be relevant to you. Who cares if you don’t know about him? Why would you, anyway? The guy’s obsessed with you.”
“He’s obsessed with me because he’s alone, Will!” she exclaimed. Immediately, she shut her mouth and glanced around. She didn’t want anyone to hear her raise her voice or know she and Will were having a heated disagreement.
“And that justifies his behavior, Sophie?” he fired back. It was like an explosion, and she took a step back to avoid the sound wave. She hated when he said her name that way. She’d prefer him to call her kid.
“Of course not!” she said, in the same octave that he was using. “Will, my own parents don’t even want me. They traded me for money. Think about that for a moment, would you? Really think about it. They did that because of who I am. I still don’t really know who I am. Michael is the only other physical on this planet. That doesn’t mean that he’s right or okay or justified. It means a part of me is worried I could end up like that. I want to know about him so I don’t turn into him.” She didn’t realize she had been breathing heavy until she stopped talking and the silence was permeated by her breath.
Will paused, scrutinizing her in that way that made her feel transparent, like a hieroglyph he couldn’t quite decipher. Then, his eyes softened, and he nodded his head once.
“I get it, kid. Really, I do,” he told her. “When I first realized what I was … Imagine transforming into a whole new species every time the moon’s full. It scared the shit out of me. My mom, too. But my dad researched it. He found Ethan—through Daryl, actually; that bastard’s been around forever—and found the academy, and I learned everything I could about who I am. I know it’s different. There’s almost nothing on what you are. But I just …” He ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on the strands.
It was then that Sophie realized Will saw Michael as a threat. He worried that Michael would pull her into his web like two chemicals attracted to make a compound and make her fall in love with him. It was biology, after all. It would only make sense to mate with someone who shared similar traits. The offspring would be the strongest, as well. While Michael was both attractive and intelligent—plus, the accent was enthralling just as much as his eyes were—Sophie was only interested in Will.
“Will,” she murmured, saying his name warmly. “You’re the only one I have eyes for. You know that, right?” She tilted her head to the side and cupped his cheek in her palm.
“I—” He was going to deny it, she knew, but stopped himself. She was glad. He looked her in the eye and sighed through his nose so his breath tickled the inside of her wrist.
“I’m not worried,” he tried again. “But I am.”
“I want you to understand,” Sophie told him, hoping her voice was steady. His vulnerability was doing things to her insides, including causing her voice to shake. She didn’t know how he did it, but he did. “This fascination with Michael has nothing to do with the man and everything to do with the physical. Learning more about him would help me learn more about myself.”
Will nodded and Sophie smiled.
“I know it can’t be easy for you,” she allowed, “and I appreciate your patience.” She dropped her hand so it smacked her thigh.
“Anything for you, kid,” he told her, shrugging his shoulder. “To answer your question, I have no idea. About whether or not Ethan told his connections about Michael. I’m assuming he did, but I can’t be sure. It’s something you’re going to have to take up with Ethan.” He snuck in a quick kiss on her neck before springing back and giving her a wolfish grin. “Now, come on. We’ve got some training to do.”
Sophie forced a smile and hoped Will didn’t realize it was genuine. Regardless, he headed to the field in a light jog, expecting Sophie to follow, which she did. But not before glancing over her shoulder one last time at the spot where Cillian was left.
Her gut started churning once more. Something didn’t set well with her with this whole thing. And a part of her was worried it might have something to do with Michael being a suspect in Cillian’s murder.
22
The morning after Cillian’s body was found, Jane allowed herself to gorge on breakfast without feeling guilty. She hadn’t been eating well the past couple of days and had lost more weight than she liked to admit, thanks to being unconscious during that time. If Brielle hadn’t been there, hooking IVs in her body that gave her necessary fluids, Jane would most likely be dead.
If Brielle had simply told someone where I was, I would have been eating real food in the first place, a snarky voice commented, making a valid point.
Though school wasn’t technically in session, Jane still chose to wear her uniform. She wasn’t sure why that was, especially since neither Sophie or Brielle did, but something about it made her feel normal, and she liked the comfort of a routine. Plus, a flirty part of her had a feeling Daryl liked the way she looked in it, and going out of her way to tease him with plaid short skirts and knee-high socks might finally get him to make a m
ove and take their relationship to the next level.
By the time she finished breakfast, her stomach groaned in protest. She knew she would pay for eating so much so fast, but she still went ahead and indulged herself. As such, she knew any immediate physical activity was out of the question. Daryl hadn’t talked to her about the plan for the day, and a part of her was still annoyed at the fact that he was making all these decisions on her behalf without asking her opinion. Because of that, she decided to make a decision herself: she would go to the library and do some research.
When Ethan told everyone that Michael had been a student here, she was shocked. It didn’t make sense that he would know something that important and keep it to himself. Her first thought was that if Michael had gone to school here, there had to be record of him. And while she might not get access to notes and grades and his personal file—she didn’t know if physical copies of those records had been purged or not once Ethan decided to go digital—she knew yearbooks were available to sort through. There was even a book dedicated to the history of AckPec as well, and that might shed some light on him.
After she disposed of her tray, the three girls went their separate ways. Jane stayed in the Ack Building, but went down the long hallway to the last door on the right. The library was a quiet room, tucked away from the classrooms. However, it was the biggest room on the floor, filled with stacks and stacks of books. There were tables and chairs for students who chose to read or study here. Outlets had been added to the building in the seventies and updated at the turn of the century if one had a personal laptop. There was even a section with computers, if one needed to type up an essay or print something out.
Jane frequented the library once a week, at least. The quietness soothed her, and she felt her entire body relax inside. She knew exactly where old yearbooks were kept because it was one of the first things the librarian, Mrs. Fitch, pointed out during the tour she gave to students at the start of every year.
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