by T. K. Chapin
“Oh wow, Megan didn’t need it for the zoo or art museum today?” Kane asked.
“No, not today…” I said. There was no way I was going to air the fact my wife took off for two weeks with the boys. Not now, anyway.
After golf, we all were on our way back to the club house and Micah slowed his pace to match mine. He asked, “So you have the truck?”
“Yep.”
“How come?” Micah wasn’t like the other guys; he wanted to know ‘why’s’ and ‘how’s’ instead of the ‘what’s’ and ‘when’s’ when it came to my life.
I shrugged a little. “Megan’s just busy.”
“I don’t buy that Taylor. You look like you have something on your mind that’s eating at you. You can talk to me. We’re brothers in Christ.”
“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
“Nope. I’ve known you ever since you came to work at the station ten years ago, even before you got married and started having kids. I can tell when something is off…” He looked over at me as he continued, “And something is off with you.”
Glancing up to make sure the other guys were far enough in front of us and out of earshot, I stopped and looked at him. “Megan went to Seattle to visit her sister with the boys.” I turned and kept walking to not draw attention to us.
“I see,” he said softly, catching up to me. Glancing over at him, I saw that he was looking up at the trees as we passed under them. “Sometimes people need time to collect their thoughts.”
“It came out of nowhere, I was pretty upset… I just need a heads up for something like that. It’s cool if she needs some time… but there’s a better way to do this.”
“I bet you were upset.”
“Yeah, but I ended up telling her to just go do whatever she needed to go do.”
“Wow,” he replied, nodding. “That was wise.”
“I figured she’d do it anyway. I hadn’t ever seen her be so crazy before.”
“It’s best not to agitate a determined person, especially when it’s your wife.”
“That’s what I was kind of thinking.”
“You did the right thing, Taylor.”
I nodded.
“How long is she going to be gone? Did she say?”
“Yeah, a couple weeks.”
“That’s not bad. Denise left me and wasn’t back for over a month.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. “I had no idea you two had problems. You think that’s what Megan is doing? Leaving me? I’ve had this bad feeling about it the whole time…”
“Hey man, don’t jump to conclusions. I don’t know what Megan is doing. But yeah, Denise and I had some issues a few years back.”
“Okay, I won’t. Where did Denise go when she left?”
“She went back to New Orleans. She didn’t tell me she was leaving, though… she just wasn’t home when I got off after a shift. I didn’t have the luxury of knowing where or why like you have here. That’s what makes me think Megan isn’t leaving… You knew ahead of time.”
I cringed a little. “Actually, I figured it out when the Cap came over and gave her some cash to help finance the trip. Otherwise, she was going to call from Seattle… and just let me know…”
“Dang… I don’t know, man. Hard to say.”
“What’d you do with your daughter when Denise rolled out?” I asked.
“Jasmine was only eleven at the time, so she wasn’t super aware of what was going on. I just said her Mom went away to see family for a little bit. I was terrified at the fact I had no idea where she was or who she was with until she called a week later letting me know she was in New Orleans with an old friend. But I couldn’t let my kid see me worry about it.”
“How’d you even get through that all?”
“God, and God alone, Brother. He did an amazing thing in my life. He showed me where I was wrong, what I could do, and gave me peace and strength along the way.”
“You girls about done yakking?” Kane asked as we came up to the clubhouse door that he was holding open. I smiled as we walked through the door. “You got that forty bucks you owe me, Freeman?” Kane asked looking at Micah.
He pulled out his wallet and gave Kane two twenties. “We should really play more this season… easy cash,” Kane laughed as he pocketed the money.
“It was pretty close, McCormick,” Rick insisted.
“Sure, but ‘close’ don’t get you paid,” Kane replied as we all sat down to a table in the club house.
“So how long are you going to be out of work, exactly?” Ted asked me. “Cause I’ve heard some rumors about a new guy coming on board. Just wondering if they are replacing you?”
I laughed. “They can try to replace me if they want.”
Micah chimed in, “They won’t replace Cole. If they could, we all know that Sherwood would have already done it eons ago.”
Everyone at the table nodded.
I looked over at Ted and said, “To answer your question, I’ll be back once the doctor clears me… I’m guessing another couple weeks at most. By week eight a typical person is fully healed, with a little bit of pain, so I’m thinking I only need six.”
“Little cocky, aren’t we?” Ted asked.
Shaking my head, I replied, “Confident.”
They all laughed. Kane said, “A normal man takes eight weeks; Taylor takes six!”
Going over to the physical therapy office that afternoon, I found myself out of place while I waited for my name to be called to the back. There was a poster of a child frolicking in the grass and the text above him read: You, only better. It made me wonder what kind of place I was in. A while back, I went to a head doctor after I lost my father on the advice of my Aunt Carol. About half-way through the session I sat up on the couch after not hearing a reply from the therapist. I caught a glimpse of the ‘professional’s’ notepad. It was a bunch of doodles of cats. From that point forward, I became rather skeptical of any ‘help’ of doctors. That picture on the wall set the tone for what I expected with physical therapy.
“Taylor,” A nurse said from the doorway that led into the back. I stood up and walked past her at the doorway and into the hallway.
“How’s your happiness level today?” she asked as we walked down the hall.
“What?”
“I said, what’s your happiness level?”
Stopping mid stride down the hallway, I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at her. “Don’t ask me that. I have to be here because I’m required to be here. My happiness levels don’t matter. Don’t try to make this more than it is.”
“You must be Cole Taylor,” An attractive blonde woman from a couple of rooms down said as she stepped out and took off her black framed glasses.
“Who’s asking?” I looked down the hall at her.
“Dr. Callan, your physical therapist.”
I sighed as I walked up to her. That wasn’t the best first impression I could have made if I wanted to get her magic signature on my release form to get me back to work. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just don’t think my happiness has anything to do-”
She interrupted me as we went into an exam room. “You fight fires, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied, crossing my arms.
“I bet I could fight fires better than you can. You did after all fail in some degree and got hurt.”
I could feel my blood begin to boil inside of me. “Don’t tell me you know better than I do…” It donned on me what she was attempting to do. And I couldn’t help but flash a smile. “I get it. This physical therapy thing is your area of expertise… and I should play along.”
“Exactly,” she replied with a smile. “You stick with fighting fires and I’ll stick with this. Just so you know… happy people heal quicker; that’s why we ask you.” She went over to the counter to grab a pair of gloves.
I nodded. It was a little rude of me to get so snappy with the nurse back in the hall, but feelings weren’t something I was exactly open with an
yone about.
“So, how’s your happiness level, Cole?”
I didn’t feel I had a choice to share. “Well… my wife took my kids and went out of town, almost without me even knowing. So you can draw your own conclusions on my happiness levels, Doctor.”
“Well, that’s not good. I’m sorry to hear that,” she said as she came over and began inspecting my arm.
Her pity for me over the fact Megan left was annoying. I didn’t like anyone feeling sorry for me. “I’ll survive. How long is it going to take to get back to fighting fires? I need to get back to work.”
“Depends on how long it takes you to heal. If you do the exercises I tell you to do and you follow my instructions, it could be relatively quick.”
“Like how long is quick to you?” I asked, leaning forward as she let go of my arm.
“Couple weeks… but you’ll still be in pain if you go back too soon.”
“I can deal with pain. What I can’t deal with is not working for much longer.”
“Well, I’ll do my best to get you out of here and back on the job pronto.”
I sighed with a relief, “Thank you.”
CHAPTER 6
I would normally consider myself a patient person, but the quietness that lingered in every part of the house was driving me insane. My very sanity felt like it was slipping away with every passing moment that I lay idle in my coffin-like bed in my room. Only one more week and my family would be back, I thought to myself as I flipped through the channels for the billionth time. After passing by the same fishing show again, I became angry and chucked the remote across the room. It shattered into pieces on impact with the wall. I shot a glare at the broken remains of the remote.
I noticed the sunshine peek between the curtains over at the window. That glimmer of light that played against the wall near the backboard of my bed reminded me that there was a world outside I was missing out on.
I got up and headed over to the window to take a gander outside. When I glanced out the smudge filled window, I felt a deep yearning inside of me to see what the grass felt like between my toes. It was a silly feeling I had, but I hadn’t gotten out much since my injury and Kane’s cancellation of poker nights. It seemed lately everybody at the station was distant. We didn’t even play golf this week. Another urge to go barefoot outside rushed through me. I grabbed my jacket and was out the door. It wasn’t warm outside, being April and all, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t recall the last time my bare feet even grazed the blades of grass outside before my injury. I needed this.
After a couple of moments, I began to realize how stupid I most likely looked to my neighbors. I was a fully grown man, standing in his front yard barefoot with a jacket, sling and a hairdo that would make Einstein look well groomed. Glancing around, I was relieved to see Mrs. Feddle wasn’t outside collecting her morning paper or Mr. Klein out walking his ridiculous blue-haired poodle. Hurrying up my steps, I made it back to the house and slid on my shoes so I could take to the sidewalk on a journey.
Getting onto the sidewalk of Benton Drive, I took a deep breath in, letting the clean air fill my lungs. It was refreshing, and I couldn’t help but smile as I walked down the sidewalk. Birds were chirping and dogs were barking off in the distance. Spring wasn’t too far off and it felt great to get out of the stuffy house.
Suddenly, I heard sirens in the distance. My heart raced and adrenaline began coursing through veins. Calm down body, it’s not our time yet, I told myself.
“Sounds like the cops are going to catch someone,” a little girl said over in a nearby yard.
I stopped and turned to her. “That’s no cop, that’s a fire truck.”
She walked up to her white fence that circled the entire yard and said, “How do you know that, Sir?”
I smiled. “The sounds are different. I’m a firefighter.”
“Why aren’t you with them?” she asked.
I turned and showed her my arm that was in a sling. “I got hurt. They won’t let me fight fires until I’m all healed up.”
“What happened?” she asked, squinting up at me as she tried to shield her eyes from the sun.
“I got hurt saving a little girl, just about your age.”
“Oh… Is she okay?” The girl came closer to the fence.
“Yeah, she’s alright.” I turned towards the direction that we heard the sirens coming from. They were getting farther away and my racing heart was returning to a normal pace. “I sure do miss it out there.” I turned back to see the girl had vanished from the yard. I smiled and continued walking.
As I came back into the house, my cell phone rang. Pulling it out of my pocket, I saw that it was Megan. I answered it as I shut the door behind me.
“Da-da,” Justin said into the phone. I smiled. Hearing Megan in the background trying to keep the kids near the phone, I was thankful.
“How’s it going, boys?” I asked as I took a seat on the couch in the living room.
“Err…” Bradley grumbled, followed by muffled movements and a loud thump.
Megan came over the phone, “Sorry. They are anxious to get back outside. Amanda just bought a swing set today and they want to go back outside with the other kids.”
“That’s okay, let them go have fun,” I said. “I’ll see them in a few days.”
“Go ahead outside, boys,” Megan said. I could hear them shout in excitement as they got further away. Turning her attention back to our conversation she asked, “How are you, Cole?”
“I’m okay. I just got back from a walk. It was nice to get out.”
“That’s good…” Her words trailed off.
“How’s your sister seem to be managing without Mike there? I wanted to ask other times we talked, but spaced it.”
“Uh-huh… Or you don’t care. You don’t need to act like you do when you don’t.”
I squeezed at the edge of the arm rest on the couch. “I do care.”
“Well, she’s struggling. Mike’s being a jerk. She’s really stressed out.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Yeah,” Megan replied. “Did you go golfing today?”
“It’s pretty early for golf… but no golf today for me. That walk was probably the highlight of my day.”
“Bradley!” Megan shouted away from the phone. “Don’t touch that!” she scolded him.
“House isn’t the same without you and the boys…” I said as my eyes fell on the high chair in the dining room.
“I’m sure the quietness is nice,” she replied with a longing sigh.
I shrugged. “It was for a minute, but I miss you all a ton. I can’t wait to see you all soon.”
“We miss you.” She paused for a moment before she continued. “Someone’s on the other line. We’ll try again tomorrow with the boys.”
Hanging up with Megan, I sat for a moment on the couch. Looking up at the pictures on the wall, I saw the picture of Megan and me when we were down in Cancun for our honeymoon so many years ago. I could still envision that sunset across the ocean that first evening we arrived and feel the warmth of the air. It was a magical night that we never wanted to end. We were so happy, so young.
As I sat at the table that evening, my dinner for one was interrupted by an unexpected knock at the door. Setting my napkin down next to my plate, I felt a little giddy at the thought of someone coming to visit. That was until I opened the door and found it was the Captain.
“What do you want?” I asked, keeping the door partially closed.
He glanced over my shoulder. “Just seeing how things are going…” Tom said with a suspicious tone as he glared inside.
My eyebrows furrowed as I scoffed. “Just checking up on me?”
He narrowed his look. “Cindy wanted me to see if you’d like to join us for dinner tomorrow night.”
“You could have called for that,” I replied.
“Yeah, I could have,” he said sharply. “But like I said… I wanted to see how things were.”
�
��Well, thanks. I’m fine.” I knew what he was doing. He was seeing if I was stepping out on Megan. He held my past against me more than anyone I knew. He knew me before I met Megan. He watched me for years at the firehouse and heard all the stories of my one-night stands. That was all in the past and before I recommitted myself to Christ and met Megan for the first time. He did his best to keep her away from the fire station, but it was inevitable that we would meet.
Shutting my front door, I glanced out the living room window as I watched him peek around the corner of the house from the driveway. Even after all these years and the commitment I made to Megan on our wedding day. The two grandsons I gave him. It was all still not good enough for his impossible standards. I shook my head as I returned to my meal at the table.
Dinner at the Sherwoods sounded like a bad idea. His wife Cindy wasn’t much better than he was. She did however thank me once for being a good dad when she was over at our house a few years back. She and Megan were watching an episode of a talk show where each guest interviewed was from an abused home. So basically, she was thankful I wasn’t beating my children.
As I set my plate and cup into the sink that evening after eating, I looked at the picture of Megan and her father that hung on the fridge beneath the lime green butterfly magnet. Will I ever be good enough for your daughter?
Heading up the stairs, I made my way into the bedroom and lay down for the night. This was no way to live, I thought to myself as I stared blankly at the white textured ceiling. I had to get something going. I picked up the phone and called down to the station to speak with the Chief, Paul Jensen.
“How are you, Taylor?” He asked.
“I’m healing up… I was curious, is there anything I can do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like some light-weight work or something… I’m going crazy lying in this bed all day, every day.”
“I know what you mean. I broke my arm back about twelve years ago and felt the same way.” He paused for a moment. “We do have some kids coming by the station tomorrow who are going to be doing a tour. You could help with that?”
