by Laura Day
Maple tried to push the image of suicidal people from her mind as she continued the trek up to Jax’s apartment. When they finally made it, Maple gave a huge sigh of relief making Jax smile. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s a hard climb for a first timer.”
He took out his keys and opened the door, letting Maple walk in first. The apartment was tiny. The door opened to a window that was set in the center of the room. Maple could see the red lights of the city in the distance. To the right was a small kitchen, and to the left was a bed that had been pushed to one side of the wall. There were a few clothes strewn about and some ratty, old magazines on mixed martial arts that had been thrown on top of a small, square table with a lonely chair that sat in front of the window beside the kitchen.
“It’s not much,” Jax said in an embarrassed way.
Maple laughed. “My apartment also happens to be the backseat of my car; this is definitely an improvement.”
Jax turned to her in surprise. “You live in your car?”
Maple shrugged. “It doesn’t exactly run anymore, so at least I’m getting the best possible use out of it.”
Jax turned on the lights. “Why don’t we sit?” he suggested almost awkwardly.
“Why don’t we get you cleaned up first?” Maple said, moving to the kitchen.
There wasn’t much to work with, but Maple found a pot she could use to boil some water. “Do you have a first-aid kit?” she asked. “And a towel?”
Jax nodded and moved through a narrow door on the left hand side of the room, adjoining the same wall his bed was pushed up against. Maple saw the light switch on, and then Jax re-emerged a few moments later with a small red box and a large towel that looked like it had seen better days. He passed them to her, and she set them down on the table and started sorting through the first-aid kit. There wasn’t much there, but Maple knew she could make do.
“Sit down,” she instructed Jax, as she sorted through the things she knew she could use.
There were times her mother would fall and hurt herself when she was in one of her depressive states. In those instances, it was Maple who always fixed her back up and tended to her wounds. She remembered one of the bad days. Her mother had been in a particularly bad state. She had started crying uncontrollably and nothing Maple had said had been able to make the slightest bit of difference. Maple had sat with her for almost an hour, trying to calm her down, but nothing had worked. Then her mood changed again, and she had turned on Maple.
“I know you hate me,” she had screamed, backing away from Maple as the paranoia crept in. “I know you want to get rid of me.”
“No, Mom,” Maple had insisted. “Of course I don’t want that. I just want you to be happy.”
“Liar! You’re a liar like your father. You want to leave like him. You want to leave like your sister.”
Maple had tried to hold back her own tears, as she had tried to convince her mother otherwise. “Please, Mom, just calm down. You’re backing into the staircase.”
“You hate me,” she had sobbed. “You all hate me.”
“Of course not, Mom. I could never hate you,” Maple had tried to assure her.
“Maple?” Jax’s voice cut through her memory and called her back to the present. He was sitting in the only chair in the apartment beside the small table. Maple moved towards him and placed herself in the little space between Jax and the table.
“Sorry,” Maple mumbled. “I was somewhere else.”
“I could see that.” He gave her a small smile, as if to tell her that he was there to listen if she wanted to share with him.
Maple inspected his wounds. “I was just…remembering one of my mother’s accidents.”
“Did she have many?”
“Define many?
“Once a week,” Jax suggested.
“It was more like once a month,” Maple clarified. “But it was still too much for me. Usually, we were ok. I was pretty good at calming her down, but there were times when I just couldn’t get through to her no matter how hard I tried. This one time…she was really depressed and she was crying. I tried cheering her up, but it was just one of those days where nothing worked.”
“So I just sat with her and waited for it to pass, but her mood changed again, and she started screaming that she knew I hated her, and that I wanted to get rid of her. She leapt away and started to back away from me…. she was concentrating so hard on getting away from me that she backed herself straight into the staircase.”
“She fell?” Jax asked.
“She fell,” Maple nodded.
“How badly did she hurt herself?”
“She had a cut on her forehead,” Maple replied. “And I knew immediately she would need stitches.”
“You took her to the hospital?”
Maple shook her head. “I stitched her up myself.”
Jax looked at her in shock. “You stitched her up yourself?” he repeated.
“Yes, she’d already been to the hospital a few times. I didn’t want social services sniffing around. I knew what would happen then, they would declare her an unfit mother and I would end up in the system where I wouldn’t be able to care for her.”
“How old were you?” Jax asked.
“Thirteen,” Maple replied, as she dabbed at his cuts and wounds with disinfectant.
“You were thirteen,” Jax repeated, with unmistaken awe in his voice. “You’ve been through a lot.”
Maple smiled and shrugged. “More than some, less than others, but I think at the end of the day, everyone has their issues.”
“That’s true enough,” Jax agreed. He opened his mouth to ask a question and then he closed it again as though he had just had second thoughts.
“It’s ok,” Maple said, as she cleaned out his wounds. “What was your question?”
“I suppose I wanted to know…what happened to your mother…after you met Ryan?”
“Oh. She moved into an assisted living facility. It’s like a group home for people with mental handicaps. I visit her as often as I can.”
“When did you decide that that was the best option for her?” Jax asked.
“I didn’t,” Maple shook her head. “It was her. She was the one who made the decision.”
“Really?” Jax asked in surprise.
Maple nodded. “She wasn’t always operating in extremes,” she tried to explain to Jax. “There were times when she was like the mother I remembered from my childhood—calm, patient, loving. One day she came to me and told me that she wanted me to have a good life, a life that was better than hers. She wanted me to be free and happy. She didn’t want to be a burden to me any longer.”
“Were you surprised?”
“Extremely,” Maple said, as she carefully bandaged his wounds. “I didn’t know she was even thinking about it. At first I thought she was just in one of her moods and she would take it back, but I was wrong. My mother…she’s a good woman really. She was just dealt a really bad hand. But she loves me, she has always loved me, and I only fully realized that when she came to me that day and told me she was going to move into that group home.”
“She was setting you free.”
“She was,” Maple said. “Only I didn’t know what to do with that freedom. So I made all the wrong choices.”
“How old were you when she left?” Jax asked.
“Old enough that I could avoid being put into the system,” Maple replied. “That had been my secret fear my whole life. I hated the thought of living in a home surrounded by kids from broken homes.”
“I’ll admit the foster system…can be rough; it’s not all bad though.”
He spoke as though he knew what he was talking about. Maple wrinkled her eyebrows together. “Were you…?”
“A foster child?” Jax offered. “Yes, I was.”
“You were in the system,” Maple breathed.
“For a long time,” Jax nodded. “My sister and I both. We jumped from place to place, but we were outsiders wherever we went.�
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Maple looked down.
“That’s why you were so afraid of being in foster care, weren’t you?” Jax guessed.
Maple nodded. After a moment, she took a small step back. “There,” she said with a note of triumph in her tone. “You’re all bandaged up. You should change each dressing in a day or so, but I don’t think they’ll take very long to heal.”
“Wow,” Jax said looking at her in amazement. “You really are something.”
Maple waved away the compliment. “It’s nothing complicated. Just a little general knowledge and common sense.”
“Still, it’s more than a lot of people are capable of,” Jax said.
“Thanks,” Maple said self-consciously.
With her head tilted down, she looked up at him. He was leaning back in the chair, watching her carefully. There was some unknowable expression that was flitting through his eyes. He was looking at her almost hungrily, but there were layers of tenderness that Maple could identify as well. She felt her body heat up as their eyes locked on one another, refusing to let go.
Chapter Ten
Jax
Jax stared at Maple. She was framed in the distant blinking lights of the city; her black dress kept catching their individual colors dancing around her body like animals in heat. He could barely see her scar; it was encased in shadow, hiding from sight, but he wished that he could see it. He wanted all of her, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
“Come here,” he said.
She came to him until she was standing between his legs. He placed his hands on her hips and then brought them down slowly down towards the hem of her dress, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers. She was breathing deeply, her chest was rising and falling, and her eyes were large, expectant, and nervous. Slowly, Jax moved both his hands up under her skirt so that he could feel the soft skin of her thighs.
Her legs were soft and smooth and the feel of her sent a rush of blood straight through him until it reached his penis. He felt himself respond to her, but he didn’t want to rush. He wanted to savor the moment, he wanted to take it slow, and he wanted to catch every little nuance between his actions.
She lifted her hands up and placed them on his shoulders as though to steady herself. Jax felt his way up her legs until he had reached the soft roundness of her buttocks. He placed his hands on her ass and pulled her closer towards him. He heard her quiet intake of breath, and he felt himself go hard. Slowly, deliberately, he pulled off her panties, and she stepped out of them pushing off the black wedges on her feet at the same time.
Jax pulled her closer again and let his right hand travel along the length of her inner thigh until he reached her lips. He began to explore her, and after a moment, he could feel moisture on his fingertips. He looked up and watched as her eyes closed. He kept his eyes on her face while he pushed his fingers inside her, and she gasped quietly, her grip on his shoulders tightening.
She was wet and ready for him. He moved his fingers in and out in slow movements while his other hand cupped her ass, squeezing gently. After a few moments, he removed his hand and guided her onto his lap. He ignored the discomfort of his penis pressing up against his pants crotch and pulled Maple’s thin straps off her shoulders to reveal her breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts were small, but they were round and beautifully shaped.
He reached up and cupped her breasts in his hands, enjoying the feel of them in his palms. Then he bent his head down and took her nipple in his mouth. He started slow, but as heat flooded through his body Jax couldn’t control the raging desire that overtook his desire to savor the moment. He sucked her hard until she was shaking in his arms, and then he bit down without thinking.
She gasped, and Jax jerked his head away.
“No,” Maple said breathlessly. “It’s ok.”
He bent his head to her breasts again, encircling her nipples with his tongue before he took it into his mouth again. Slowly, his hands pushed up her dress, and he felt her hands at his crotch. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes as she unzipped him and took his penis in her hand. She stroked him gently until he couldn’t stand it any longer. She rubbed him down until he felt as though he were ready to burst.
Abandoning all else, Jax encircled her waist with only one hand, his hands rough on her body. He pulled himself off the chair, taking Maple with him and set her on his small square table in one swell move, making sure to place himself between her legs. She was surprised by the suddenness of his action, but she lay on the table willingly enough, her eyes trained on his face.
Jax pulled up her dress roughly and pushed himself inside her forcefully. She made a sound that was a cross between a gasp and a scream. He had intended to fuck her slowly at first before ramming into her, but he was unable to control the burn of desire that snaked through his body. He wanted her now, and he wanted her all at once. He wanted to devour her completely until she was limp and pliable in his arms.
She lay on the table, spread eagle, with her legs wrapped around his waist, as he rammed into her with diligent speed. She stretched her hands out, grabbing at the edges of the table, as he continued to plunge deeper and deeper into her. Jax realized after a short moment that she was biting her lip as though to keep herself from screaming. It was as though her life had made her cautious and scared; it was as though she felt that if she shut her mouth and kept quiet, then no one would notice her.
Jax ignored the sweat beginning to form on his chest and brow. He welcomed the shortness of breath. All he wanted to do was unlock the scared young girl inside her so that she was free to scream. He placed his hands on her hips, making sure to hold her in place as he fucker her harder.
“Oh God,” she gasped. “I can’t take it.”
Jax ignored her and piled into her with single-minded purpose. He didn’t reduce his speed or calm the aggressiveness of his thrusts. He just kept fucking her as though they had nothing to lose.
“Yes,” Maple said, as Jax managed to release the screams from her throat. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Jax grabbed her around the neck and pulled her upright so that their faces were only inches away from one another. He could feel the hotness of her breath on his face. He could feel her heartbeat pressed up against his chest. With his hand around her neck, he kissed her, letting his tongue take charge, as she moved to match his wild passion. He started with her lips and then moved to her neck and ear, letting his tongue explore every facet of her. He could hear her impassioned gasps, as he tried to awaken every sense she possessed.
There was the sound of distant music in the background, the sound of horns and clutter and wind and sirens, but Jax heard none of it. The only sound that he paid attention to was the sound of their bodies banging together, their breath mixing, and their moans of pleasure synchronizing until the sound of them fucking was the music that spurred Jax on.
He could feel her hands at his back, as she pulled his t-shirt up over his head, freeing him from its grasp. Her hands stumbled over the wall of muscle and tattoos that camouflaged his stomach. He slowed his pace slightly when he felt as though he couldn’t last any longer. Then he pushed her back again, flat onto the table and started plunging himself into her. He could see her eyes roll back in her head and a thrill of satisfaction rifled through him.
He leaned over her, as low as he could manage and took her left nipple into his mouth again. Immediately, he felt her hands on his neck, at the back of his head. Her screams were growing more uninhibited; the shivers that scaled the length of her were becoming more frequent. Jax gripped the sides of the table and fucked her until she was gasping for breath, until her nails were digging into his back, until her body was convulsing beneath him.
Jax was caught up in the sheer passion of the moment. He had been with many different women. He had fucked them all and come away with satisfaction and pleasure, but this time was different. Maple wasn’t just some random woman he had spied across a crowded bar. She wasn’t a stranger without a name. She was
n’t just a distraction after a hard day’s work. Having sex with Maple was different to sex with all the other faceless women whom Jax had ever been with. It was even different from the first time he and Maple had had sex under the flickering lights of the gym’s greasy bathroom, and he knew why.
He knew her story now. He knew that she had a sick mother and a runaway father. He knew where she had come from and how hard it had been for her to claw her way out of that life. He saw their similarities as clear as day. No matter what happened after that moment, she would never be another faceless woman to him. He would remember her face tomorrow. He would remember her face for the rest of his life.
Chapter Eleven
