"Ben!" Nancy threw open the front door and hurried down the walk to give him a hug. He towered over her now, but she could still give a mean squeeze, and Ben relished every second of it. He remembered all the times he and Gary had walked home from school together and Gary had been greeted with the big hug, while Ben had received a casual touch on the shoulder.
"Well, did she say yes?" Nancy asked.
Ben laughed and extricated himself from his mother's arms. "Not yet. It's only been two days."
"I know. But she has to say yes. I do so want her in the family. It was meant to be."
"I think so, too."
"Is Faith here?" Kim called from the steps, shading her eyes as she looked out at them.
"She should be here any time," Ben replied. "She had a few errands to run this morning."
Nancy chattered away as they walked up to the house, talking about wedding invitations, a church that overlooked the ocean, and a banquet hall that was incredibly cheap, as well as a million other details that went in and out of Ben's head.
When he reached the house, Kim started up where Nancy had left off, telling him about the best place to get bridesmaids' dresses, asking him how many ushers they would have and if she could invite her boyfriend. Ben didn't know what to say except yes. He just hoped Faith would come up with the same answer. He hadn't felt this much a part of the family in years.
"Come into the living room," Kim said. "Mom picked up some invitation books from the stationery store. We can only keep them until tomorrow."
"You don't have to pick one today," Nancy said, as she pushed him down on the sofa and placed an enormous book on his lap. "But you should at least narrow down some choices."
The book was enormous and stuffed with sample invitations. Ben had no idea what he was supposed to be looking at. "Maybe we should wait for Faith."
"Now, now, Ben. The groom should have just as much say as the bride." Nancy sat down next to him and flipped the pages. "I want to show you the one I picked out for when your father and I renew our vows. Here it is. What do you think?"
"It's nice," he said, trying to infuse some enthusiasm into his voice, but he was beginning to feel like he had unleashed a tornado with his spontaneous wedding proposal.
"It's perfect, old-fashioned maybe, but it's almost the same one we had before, and you do know how your father likes tradition." Nancy smiled up at him, happiness radiating from her eyes like a rainbow after a long winter. "Last night I had the most incredible idea. We could get married together. Wouldn't it be lovely? You and Faith standing right next to your father and me?"
"It would be great, Mom."
"I can't think of anything that would make me happier." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, her eyes tearing up at the prospect of a double wedding. "Of course, if you want your own day, I'll understand."
"Let's just wait and see what Faith wants."
She nodded, then turned to Kim, who was sitting on the opposite couch looking through one of the other invitation books. "Can you get your brother a soda, Kimmie?"
Kim made a face. "You always did wait on the boys, Mother."
"Because we deserved it," Ben said.
"Yeah, right."
"Please, Kim."
"Okay," she said, giving a long-suffering sigh as she left the room.
When they were alone, Nancy dropped her voice to a hushed note. "Ben, before your sister comes back, well, I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. You've grown up to be a wonderful, courageous man."
Ben felt his insides begin to shrivel. He wasn't courageous. He was as big a coward as they came. If his mother knew him, really knew him... No, he wouldn't go there.
"Marrying Faith, starting a family, it's so right. Everything I wanted for you. I love you, Ben, so much."
She didn't love him; she loved the son her mind had created. Part of him wanted to stand up and shout, Look at me. See me, not Gary, not the son of your daydream, but me, your real, flesh-and-blood, and incredibly flawed son. But Ben didn't say anything. He wouldn't and couldn't take that smile off of her face.
"Ben. I've been waiting for you," Chuck boomed from the doorway, his voice echoing through the house. "Come with me, son."
"Oh, you. Say whatever you have to say right here," Nancy said. "We're picking out wedding invitations."
"That's woman's work. You save that for Faith. Ben, I need to see you in the den."
"You better go," Nancy said, taking the invitations off of his lap. "We'll look at these when Faith gets here."
"Right."
Ben felt a bit wary as he made his way to the back of the house. He hadn't been in his father's den in quite some time. It wasn't Ben's favorite room of the house, mainly because it wasn't just a den but a trophy room, and most of the trophies belonged to Gary. The others belonged to his father, who had been quite an athlete in his day. Even Kim and his mother had brought home trophies. Only Ben had neglected to contribute to the trophy shelf, although it wasn't for lack of trying.
The gold still glistened, Ben thought, as he walked into the room and over to the glass case. He wondered if that was what his father did in here every night -- polish trophies. Chuck always said he liked to get away and read his sports magazines, but the trophies never had a lick of dust on them.
"Sit down, son." Chuck motioned to the well-worn couch along one wall. "I've got something for you." He reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a small box. Then he sat down next to Ben on the couch. "This is something I was going to give your brother." Chuck cleared his throat, suddenly overcome with emotion.
Gary. Always Gary. Ben wished he'd asked Kim to get him a beer. It would have taken the edge off this conversation. But there was nothing to do but sit and wait for his father to finish.
"This has been passed down from generation to generation, to the firstborn son," Chuck continued, his attention solely focused on the box.
His father had been the first son as well, Ben realized. Maybe that was why he'd always valued first but never second.
"Gary's gone now," Chuck said, his voice gruff with sadness. "He'd want you to carry on, as I do." Chuck slowly opened the lid of the box and took out a watch, a solid gold pocket watch.
Ben had seen the watch in the family movies. His great-grandfather had been given the watch for dedicating fifty years of his life to the same engineering firm that had designed and built some of the biggest bridges in the world. His great-grandfather had been a strong and courageous man. In fact, all the Porter men had dreamed big dreams and accomplished most of them.
"Take it, son." Chuck held the watch in his hand.
Ben hesitated. His hand seemed small compared to his father's hand. And that didn't begin to describe how he felt on the inside. He wasn't Gary. He couldn't begin to step into his big brother's shoes.
"Go on now, Benjamin. It won't bite."
Ben finally wrapped his fingers around the smooth roundness of the watch.
"There's an inscription inside. Open it."
Ben did as he was told, knowing already what it would say. "The best of the best, William Alan Porter," he muttered.
"The best of the best. That's who we are, Benjamin. That's who you are." Chuck slapped him on the back. "I'm proud of you, son. You've changed in the last two years, become the man I always knew you would be."
He'd become Gary, that was who he'd become. He was a paler version, but close enough for parents who desperately wanted their son back not to see the differences between them.
"You and Faith make a fine couple. She'll do you proud, stand by your side. She's a loyal one, that girl. And she's got backbone."
It was a good thing one of them did, Ben thought dismally.
"What's the matter, son? You look down in the dumps for a man who should be celebrating."
"She hasn't said yes yet."
"Oh, she will. Soon as she thinks two seconds about it. You'll see. You keep that watch for your son, Ben. And promise me you'll tell him about all
the other Porter men. Make him proud to be one."
"I'll do that, Dad." Ben looked at the watch in his hand, feeling the weight of its responsibility down to the tips of his toes.
Chuck stood up. "I hope Faith is here. I'm hungry. Coming, son?"
"I'll be there in a minute."
"Don't want to keep a woman like Faith waiting. In fact, I'll let you in on the secrets to a successful marriage. Don't drink too much. Don't swear too much. Don't ever forget her birthday and never tell her she looks fat. You follow those rules and you'll die a happily married man."
* * *
She was to be married when the moon turned full. It would be soon. Her heart cried out its sorrow. For she would not give herself to the man she loved but to another, the one she had been promised to on the day of her birth.
Faith struggled to free herself from the dream, but it would not let go.
She could smell the wood smoke, feel the cold of deep night approaching, and she knew he would come soon.
Tonight she would give him the pot she had made for him, telling him what she could not say with words. She looked down at the pot, and a tear fell from her eye, washing away the last bit of dust, streaking the final edge of color.
She started as she heard a sound behind her. It came from the opening to her room. A tall shadow cut off the moonlight, enshrouding her in darkness. When the shadow moved, he was there, entering as silently as the wind. His presence warmed her like the sun -- her warrior.
He called to her with his eyes, and she ran to him. She had one last night. She would take it and her soul be damned.
His lips touched hers and the heat drew the fire through her soul. She wanted more. She opened her mouth and felt his breath wash over her like a warm evening breeze. She melted into his kiss, into his body, into his soul.
He called her name. She didn't want to speak of the future or the past. But he called her name again...
"Faith! Faith! Come on now, breathe."
She felt his lips touch hers again, but this time it was different. Faith opened her eyes, disoriented by the dream, by the fact that she appeared to be lying on the floor, and Alex was leaning over her. "What? What happened?"
"You passed out," he said, worry running through his eyes.
"Oh, my God." She put a hand to her lips in bewilderment. "Did you kiss me?"
"I had to. I didn't think you were breathing."
"He was going to give you mouth-to-mouth," Julian said, entering Faith's vision from behind Alex's broad shoulders. "Fortunately, that wasn't necessary."
Fortunately? Faith could still taste Alex's mouth on hers, feel the heat of his breath.
"Do you pass out often?" Alex asked.
"Never. It was -- it was the pot." She darted a quick look around to see where it was. "Where did it go?"
"I put it away," Julian replied. "It disturbs you so much."
"Didn't you smell the smoke?" Faith asked. "I couldn't catch my breath. I thought I was suffocating."
Alex's hands tightened on her arms. He searched her eyes with a grim look on his face. "Did you eat anything this morning?"
She looked at him in a daze, unable to comprehend the simple words. Finally they sank in. "No. I didn't eat."
"That's it then. You're hungry. Probably low blood sugar. That's why you fainted. Let's get you some food."
Faith knew she hadn't fainted because of lack of food. It had something to do with the pot, the damned pot. And the dream. "She was going to marry someone else."
Alex stared at her, his blue eyes shadowed with concern. "Who? You?"
"Not me. Well, maybe me. The woman in my dream. She's supposed to get married, but she loves someone else, someone she can't have."
"Yeah, okay. Whatever you say."
"You didn't hear anything when you touched the pot?"
"Sorry."
Faith sighed and struggled to get up. She still felt a bit dizzy, but the smell of smoke was gone. "I should go. I'm probably late. What time is it?"
"Almost eleven."
"Oh, no. I was supposed to go to brunch at ten-thirty."
"I don't think you should go anywhere, Miss Faith," Julian said. "Let Alex get you something to eat first. You still look pale. I must say, you scared us."
Faith looked at Alex and saw the tension set in his jaw and face. "Did I scare you?"
"Let's just say, it's not every day women fall at my feet."
"Really? I would have thought that a common occurrence for one of San Francisco's most eligible bachelors."
A small smile crept across his face. "Touché. Do you like pancakes?"
"I'm supposed to be somewhere."
"I don't want to be responsible for you passing out in your car halfway across town. Come on, have some breakfast with us."
Faith hesitated. She never missed Sunday brunch at the Porters'; it was tradition. Nancy would have strawberry crepes and egg frittata and bacon and sausage, even though Chuck wasn't supposed to eat any of those things. If she didn't go today, it would be the first time she hadn't gone since...
"I should go," she murmured again, feeling torn between Alex and Ben, the Carrigans and the Porters.
"Here's another idea." Alex took a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but it seems we have to get to the bottom of something, although I'm not sure what. Anyway, I'm going in to my office today. I have a computer with Internet access. You're welcome to come with me and use it"
"You're willing to help me?" she asked with surprise.
"I'm willing to let you use my computer. That's as far as I go."
It was a tempting offer. The library computers were often jammed with users, especially on a Sunday. Of course, if she went with Alex, she'd definitely have to skip brunch. Still, she did want to learn more about the pot, if for no other reason than to figure out why she'd fainted for the first time in her life.
"All right," she said impulsively. "Thank you. I still can't believe you're even offering this much."
"As I said, it's not every day a woman falls at my feet."
"It's not every day a man gives me mouth-to-mouth."
Alex smiled in a way that was pure male, pure sex. "Next time I kiss you, you'll be awake."
"Next time? You're pretty confident."
"Actually, I'm beginning to realize that some things are inevitable. I have a feeling a kiss between you and me is one of them."
"I'm the one who's helping your grandfather with the Carrigan curse, remember? The crazy idealist who is not only having strange dreams but even stranger fainting attacks? I'm sure you could find a less complicated woman."
"I'm sure I could. But I'm not sure it would be quite as much fun."
Faith decided it was past time to change the subject. "May I use your phone?"
"There's one in the hall. I'll show you." Alex led her down the hall toward the kitchen, stopping in front of a small desk set in an alcove. "Help yourself."
"Thanks. And thanks again for trying to revive me."
"You're welcome. Make your call. I'll warm up the griddle."
Faith smiled to herself as he walked away. She had a feeling Alex didn't give himself nearly enough credit. Not many men would have taken in a child and an eccentric grandfather in the same week, not to mention a pastry chef who was hallucinating on a daily basis.
Faith dialed the number for the Porters, knowing that excusing herself at this late hour would not go over well. But she had to admit to feeling relieved that she wouldn't have to sit through brunch and answer questions about the engagement. Last night she'd decided to say yes. This morning she just didn't know.
"Hello?" Nancy's cheerful voice cut into her thoughts.
"Hi, it's me, Faith."
"Faith, honey. We were getting worried about you. Are you all right?''
Was she all right? She felt shaky, light-headed. Maybe she was hungry. Maybe she was crazy. She didn't know anymore.
"Faith?"
"I'm sorry, Nancy. I can't come toda
y."
"But, Faith, Ben's here. We're all expecting you. I made that egg frittata that you love so much. And, well, between you and me, we have some champagne on ice just waiting for a celebration."
Faith put a hand to her head as the beginning of a headache began to take hold. "Could I talk to Ben, please?"
"Faith, I know I promised not to press you, but Ben is my son, and I love him very much. I hate to see him so unsettled."
Whose fault is that? Faith wanted to ask. The wedding had been Ben's idea in the first place. Most men would have at least asked their potential mate in advance before bringing the entire family in on the decision.
"I'm sorry, Nancy, but I really do need to talk to Ben."
"All right. Just a minute."
Nancy came back on the line a second later. "Ben has gone to the store with Chuck to pick up some soda. I know he'll be so disappointed if you don't come."
"I'm not feeling well," Faith said, her lie quickly becoming the truth. "I need to rest."
"Oh dear. Maybe we should come over there and bring you some food."
"No. No, thank you." She tried to ease the sharpness out of her voice. "I need some time alone. You understand, don't you? I've been working so hard, and with Easter next weekend I have a zillion things to do this week. I just need a few minutes to catch my breath."
"I'm sorry. I'd forgotten what a busy time this is for you. I'll come in extra early tomorrow and give you a hand."
"I'd appreciate that. Tell Ben I'm sorry and I'll call him later. And give my apologies to everyone else." Faith hung up the phone before Nancy could utter more protests. When she looked up, she caught Alex watching her from the kitchen doorway.
"Who's Ben?" he asked, holding a spatula in his hand. He looked so annoyed she almost thought he was jealous.
"Ben is the man I'm going to marry."
"The one you don't love," he said, quoting the words from her dream.
"That dream wasn't about me."
"Wasn't it? When you fainted, you had this incredible smile on your face, like you'd just seen the love of your life. You don't have that look anymore."
"That was a dream. This is reality."
The Sweetest Thing Page 12
