The Sweetest Thing

by Barbara Freethy

  "I can go," Jessie said.

  The knife went deeper, and he took a deep breath. "Go where?"

  "Wherever. I'm not your kid. You shouldn't have to keep me."

  "Oh, Jess." Alex ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault."

  Jessie looked surprised at his change in attitude. "You're sorry?"

  "Yes." He paused, debating just how much he wanted to tell her, but she had a right to know the truth. "I was angry when your mom told me I wasn't your dad. She'd lied to me for almost a year. It wasn't just that I'd taken care of her, it's that I'd come to think of you as being mine, and when she told me you weren't, when your real dad showed up at the hospital, it hurt."

  Jessie stared back at him, wide-eyed. "You wanted to be my dad then?"

  "More than anything."

  Silence fell between them. Jessie ran her finger along the edge of the desk. Finally, she looked at him. "Melanie talked about you all the time. She told me about your first date at the drive-in."

  "She told you that, huh?"

  "And how you went to the prom together. She said you were someone she could always depend on. She needed somebody like that."

  Alex saw a wealth of wisdom in Jessie's young eyes. She probably knew more about life now than Melanie ever had.

  "Melanie wasn't very good at -- at a lot of things," Jessie added. "I used to have to remind her to buy milk and stuff. She was always losing things, her money, her keys."

  "I remember. I gave her a key chain once -- it had a license plate with her name on it -- so big I didn't think she could lose it."

  Jessie offered him a tentative smile. "She probably did."

  "Yeah, probably."

  "Melanie said you were good at rescuing people. I think that's why she told the lawyer about you."

  "Rescuing people? I wonder why she said that."

  "Because you married her when she was having me. She got pregnant two years ago, but she had to have an abortion because the guy didn't want it. Maybe she would have done the same thing if you hadn't married her. Maybe that would have been better. I was just a mistake."

  Alex's fists tightened in a sudden, unexplainable fury. "Don't ever say that, Jessie. You are a beautiful person, not somebody's mistake. When Melanie found out she was pregnant, she was scared, but she wanted you more than anything. And so did I."

  "Really?" Her voice blossomed with hope.

  "Really. Want to know a secret?"

  "Yes."

  "I used to talk to you when you were in Melanie's stomach. She'd be snoring away," he said, drawing a grin from Jessie. "But I'd lean over and whisper all sorts of things to you. I used to tell you the important stuff, like the baseball stats."

  "I like baseball," Jessie said with a shy smile.

  "So do I. We should go to a game sometime."

  Her smile faded, and Jessie looked uncertain. "There aren't any games for a few more weeks. I won't be here then."

  "Maybe you can come back for a visit, after we find your father." For some reason the thought didn't please him as much as it had earlier. "Until then, you're not going anywhere. I said I'd take care of you, and I will."

  "You don't have to."

  "I want to, Jess. I do. If you can put up with me and my grandfather."

  "I guess," she said, back to her usual unconcerned shrug that covered up so much.

  "But I have to go to Chicago tomorrow. You won't run away while I'm gone, will you? Promise me?"

  "I promise."

  He tipped his head toward his office. "You better get some dinner, before it's all gone."

  "I'm not really hungry. I ate a lot at Faith's today."

  His eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"

  "I ate at Faith's."

  "What were you doing there?"

  Jessie's eyes filled with guilt. "Uh, baking."

  "Faith invited you?"

  "Uh, sure."

  "She did? Jessie?"

  Jessie ducked into the office before he could question her further. Deciding to let well enough alone with his grandfather and with Jessie, he headed toward the reception area and caught sight of Faith trying on a pair of Top Flight Athletic Shoes for women. He smiled as he walked over to her.

  "How do they feel?"

  "Oh," She looked up, startled. "Fine. Sorry. I heard you and Jess talking, and I didn't want to interrupt."

  "I apologized to Jess. I didn't mean to hurt her, Faith."

  "I know."

  Alex dropped down to his knees in front of her. "You have to lace them up to get the proper fit. May I?"

  "You don't have to do that."

  He wrapped a hand around her warm ankle. "I want to."

  Faith licked her lips as the heat of his hand raced up her leg and sent tingles throughout her body. She tried to pull her dress down over her thighs, but it seemed to be stuck.

  "Don't worry, Faith. I can't see -- much."

  His blue eyes were positively wicked, and his fingers seemed to be far busier caressing her ankle than tying laces.

  "Alex -- the shoe," she reminded him.

  "Oh, sorry." He laced up her shoe and leaned back. "Stand up and try them out."

  Faith felt a little foolish wearing tennis shoes with her short black dress, but she had to admit they felt incredibly comfortable. "Wow, these are nice," she said, enjoying the thick padding under her feet. "I should wear them at work."

  "You should," Alex agreed, as he stood up. "In fact, before you leave, we can pick out a few more pairs for you. Those are cross-trainers, designed for pretty much anything, but we also have running shoes, basketball shoes, soccer shoes. Whatever you like to play, we've got a shoe for it."

  "Whatever I like to play?" Faith challenged, unable to resist teasing him. "Are you sure you have a shoe for that?"

  He answered her with a grin. "Oh, definitely. In fact, I'd be happy to help you try them out."

  "Do you always give your customers such personal service?"

  He took a step closer. "Only the special ones."

  "Am I special?"

  His eyes darkened. "Unfortunately, yes."

  "Why, Alex?" She wasn't teasing anymore. She really wanted to know.

  He put his hands on her shoulders and lowered his head. She thought he was going to kiss her, but his lips touched the corner of her ear, and he whispered, "You were right about me, Faith. I'm afraid to love someone like you."

  Love? She hadn't been talking about him loving her. Although she had to admit, right now the idea had some merit.

  Alex's lips touched her neck, his hair brushed her cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed in the warm male scent of him. She could lose her mind right here, in his arms, and not even care. His mouth teased her collarbone, a glancing, tantalizing caress that left her wanting so much more.

  Finally Alex lifted his head, taking the warmth with him. Faith blinked her eyes open to find him watching her, his expression no longer mischievous but serious, somber, questioning.

  "Faith? It's your call."

  She stared at him, remembering his promise not to kiss her again, and her vow not to ask him.

  "Oh, hell," she said, catching his face in her hands. She pulled him to her and planted her mouth on his, teasing, tasting, taking until there was no doubt she had completely lost her mind -- and just possibly her heart.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Alex pulled away a few minutes later. He looked into her eyes. "Faith?"

  "What?"

  "I don't think you should kiss me again."

  "Why not?"

  "Because I want to take you to bed."

  Her breath caught in her chest. "You -- you do?"

  "Now."

  "Jessie. Your grandfather..."

  "I don't think they should go with us." He smiled, then kissed her on the cheek, trailing his lips across her face to the corner of her ear.

  "Alex, stop."

  "Why?"

  "I'm supposed to be
searching the computer tonight."

  "I'd rather you were searching me." She took a step away from him, smoothing out her hair. "I'm going to go back to your office before anyone comes out here and gets the wrong idea."

  "And what idea would that be? That you like me? That I like you? That we want each other?''

  "It's not as simple as all that."

  "Sex is pretty simple."

  "Not to a woman."

  "You're right. Sex would never be simple with a woman like you." Alex ran a finger down the side of her cheek. "You are so soft. So incredibly soft."

  Goose bumps ran down her arms, but she tried to ignore them and focus on what was important, what needed to be said. "I don't just sleep with someone for the heck of it."

  Alex slowly smiled. "No kidding."

  "Okay, you think you know me pretty well, but you don't. For a second there, I was tempted."

  "More than a second, Faith, and I think if we're being honest, you're still tempted. So am I." His eyes met hers. "Because it hasn't felt this good in a long time -- maybe it's never felt this good. Maybe we should explore just how good it's going to get."

  "And maybe we should let our imaginations fill in the rest. It might be safer."

  "But not as much fun."

  She ducked away from him as he attempted to kiss her again. "Time to work, Alex. I need to help Julian find Suzannah, and you have to prepare for your trip. We can't forget our priorities."

  "I think my priorities may have changed."

  "Faith?" Jessie's voice rang through the empty offices. "Where are you? We can't make the Internet work."

  Faith glanced over her shoulder, thankful that Jessie hadn't stumbled on to them a few moments earlier. The child was confused enough as it was. "I'm coming," she called. "I better go," she said to Alex.

  "So go." He held up his hands. "Am I stopping you?"

  Not physically, but emotionally... Faith didn't want to leave him. She wanted time, lots and lots of time, to explore his body, his mind, his feelings. She smiled at that thought -- as if the very guarded Alex would ever share his feelings with her. He probably didn't even admit to himself that he had feelings.

  "What's so funny?" Alex asked warily.

  "Nothing." She sat down on the chair and slipped off the tennis shoes.

  "You can keep them, Faith. A token of my affection."

  She put her heels on and stood up. "And your grandfather doesn't think you're romantic. He doesn't know you at all."

  "He doesn't know me, and neither do you," Alex said, as she walked away from him. "One kiss doesn't make you an expert."

  "You'd be surprised, Alex." Faith couldn't help the small surge of pleasure that ran through her as she walked away. Her kiss had never scared a man before. It was a good feeling. Never mind that Alex's kiss had absolutely terrified her. She'd worry about that later; right now she'd just enjoy her brief, sweet moment of power.

  * * *

  An hour later, Faith's attention was focused solely on the machine in front of her. Since discovering that a marriage took place between Harry Conrad and Suzannah Brock some fifty years ago, Faith had become confident that they would find more leads on the two people, and they had: seventeen listings for a Harry Conrad in several different states, and fourteen listings for an S. Conrad or Suzannah Conrad or Susan Conrad in several other states. It would take forever to call each number.

  "There has to be some other way," Faith said restlessly, while Jessie stood up and stretched, bored by the relentless whirring of the computer. Even Julian had lost some of his eagerness.

  "Perhaps this is impossible," Julian said. "I don't know what else we should do."

  "Give it up," Jessie advised. "Melanie always said if a person don't want to be found, she can't be found."

  Faith wondered just why Melanie had chosen to impart that piece of advice to her daughter. Had they been on the run, evading bill collectors or some lunatic boyfriend? She could only imagine what Jessie must have seen living on the streets.

  "Why wouldn't Suzannah want to be found?" Julian asked wearily. "Why hide from me? Especially if she married someone else, someone who was a good man, a minister?"

  "A minister, of course," Faith said, snapping her fingers. "I am so stupid. You said Suzannah was a Baptist, which means Harry Conrad must have worked at the Baptist church in Pasadena, because it would make sense that they would get married in his church."

  Julian nodded, a light of hope coming into his eyes. "Yes, of course."

  Faith put her fingers to work on the computer and within a few minutes had the listings for three Baptist churches in Pasadena. "What do you think? Shall we make some calls?"

  Julian smiled. "We shall. You are truly magnificent, my dear."

  Faith laughed. "Don't thank me yet." She checked her watch. "It's seven-thirty. I'm not sure we'll be able to reach anyone."

  "Let's try," Julian said impatiently. "I don't think ministers hold regular office hours, do they?"

  Faith printed out the page of phone numbers. "Do you want to do the honors?"

  Julian immediately shook his head. "I can't. No. I need time. What if Suzannah were to answer? What would I say?"

  "Okay, I'll do it." Faith picked up the sheet and dialed the first number. She reached a recording with the suggestion that unless this was an emergency, she should call back in the morning. The same thing happened with the second number. But the third time, they struck gold.

  "I'm trying to find a man named Harry Conrad, who might have been the minister of your church a long time ago," Faith said after exchanging a brief hello with the woman who had answered the phone.

  "Harry Conrad," the woman mused. "The name sounds familiar. But my husband is out, and we've only been here for three years. I don't know all the names of the previous ministers. I'm sorry."

  "Wait. Would you mind if I called back and spoke to your husband?"

  "Why do you want to find this man?"

  "It's a long story, but I have a friend, an elderly gentleman..." Julian frowned at her description, but she ignored him. "He's trying to find Harry because -- because he was a good friend of Harry's wife, Suzannah. I know it's been something like fifty years, but it's very important that he locate Mr. Conrad."

  "It's such a long time, dear. But hold on a second."

  Faith put her hand over the phone. "She's checking something."

  "I am not elderly," Julian said grumpily.

  "It makes a better story. You should be able to relate to that."

  Finally the woman came back on the line. "I have this book," she said. "It's about the history of our church, and yes, I did find the name of Harry Conrad. He was the minister here from 1945 to 1963."

  "That's wonderful. Can you tell me any more about him? Maybe where he went after 1963?"

  "It says that Reverend Conrad transferred to the First Baptist Church in Monterey, California. I'm sorry, that's all it says."

  "Thank you. That's really a help. Would you mind taking my number? If your husband knows anything more about Harry Conrad or his wife, Suzannah, I'd really appreciate a call."

  "I don't think my husband will know any more, but I'll certainly call you if he does."

  Faith repeated her number and hung up the phone. "We're one step closer. Now we just have to call the church in Monterey. Jessie, would you type in 'First Baptist Church in Monterey, California,' and see if we can find a phone number?''

  While Jessie got to work, Faith stood up and stretched. She felt tired but exuberant.

  "Monterey is very close, isn't it?" Julian asked.

  "About an hour and a half south. But it was 1963, Julian. That's still a long time ago, and he would be your age, probably retired."

  "We'll find him, and we'll find Suzannah," Julian said confidently. "I was destined to come here by something stronger than just my wish to see Alex. Meeting you... now this. I feel as if we are mere players in a game."

  "I just hope we win this game."

  "I got
it," Jessie said, hitting the print button.

  "Got what?" Alex asked as he returned to the office. He set his files on the desk and sent Faith an expectant look.

  "Another lead," Faith replied.

  He arched an eyebrow. "No kidding. That's great. What did you find out?"

  "We found the church that Harry Conrad may have worked at in 1963."

  "That's it?"

  "This is good, Alex."

  "If you say so. It sounds like a long shot. Nineteen sixty-three? That's as close as you've come?"

  "It's better than 1948. We've moved seventeen years in one night. I consider that a success."

  Alex's smile spread slowly across his face. "I'm beginning to think you were named Faith for a very good reason."

  "Are you going to call the church now?" Jessie asked.

  "Sure. Why not?" Faith reached for the phone, feeling invincible. Her bubble of pleasure was popped by the sound of a recording, asking that she call back during business hours. "We'll have to try tomorrow."

  "Tomorrow?" Both Jessie and Julian echoed the word at the same time, disappointment etched in their faces.

  "Sorry, but tomorrow isn't that far away. With any luck, we'll find Harry still working in Monterey."

  "I almost wish I was going to be here," Alex said slowly. "Not that you'd need me for anything." He busied himself with some papers on his desk, but Faith had the distinct feeling he was waiting for someone to contradict him, only no one did.

  "Alex--'' She started, then stopped, not sure what to say. He'd made it clear he thought they were on a wild-goose chase. Maybe she was reading him wrong, thinking he cared, when he didn't.

  "What?"

  She wished he weren't quite so good at hiding his feelings. His expression was completely unreadable. She didn't know if he was interested, annoyed, or bored. "Do you want to help us?" she asked.

  "What would I do?"

  "I don't know. I'm sure your ideas are as good as mine."

  "I doubt it. But thanks for the offer."

  "I'm going to work at Faith's bakery tomorrow," Jessie said. "She's going to teach me how to make chocolate truffles."

  "Is that all right with you?" Alex asked. "I don't want Jessie to bother you while you're working."

  "It's fine. With Easter coming, I could use an extra pair of hands."