"I don't mean anything to Julian," Suzannah said, her eyes anguished as she turned to Faith. "It was a summer romance, a month of foolishness that ended in disaster. I have no wish to remember it or relive it."
"I can understand that, but Julian doesn't feel the same way. He speaks very fondly of you. He read me some of your letters and--"
"He kept my letters? All these years, he kept my letters?" Suzannah sank back into her chair, her eyes filling with moisture. "Why did he do that?"
"Because he loved you."
Suzannah drew in a long breath and slowly let it out. "I loved him, too. But our love was not meant to be. I married someone else, you know. I lived with him for fifty-four years. He died two years ago last fall."
"That's when you came back to Arizona," Faith said.
"Yes. I'd been happy here, at least in the beginning. It was the only place I'd truly felt free to be myself, to live without restraints, without guilt or shame. I guess I hoped I'd find that happiness again."
"In all those years, you never thought to look up my grandfather?" Alex asked.
Suzannah shook her head. "No. I was a married woman. I assumed Julian had gone on to marry someone else. Which he obviously did, since you're his grandson."
"Several someones," Alex commented dryly. "But I'll let him tell you his life story. Right now I just want to find him. His heart isn't so good anymore."
She paled. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Will you help us find him?" Alex asked. "Please?" His gentle tone brought Suzannah around.
"All right. If I can."
"I think you might be the only one who can," Faith said. "Alex, do you want to try the hotel? Maybe he went back there."
Alex did as she suggested, but there was no answer in his room. A follow-up call to the front desk and the coffee shop added no further information. Julian had disappeared.
"You could try calling the cab company," Jessie said. "Melanie always paid the cab driver extra so he wouldn't say where he took us. Maybe Julian didn't know to do that."
Alex stared at Jessie in amazement. "The things you know. Thanks, I'll see if I can find out which cab company picked him up."
While Alex was doing that, Jessie wandered into the backyard to look at the stars, leaving Suzannah and Faith alone at the table.
Suzannah stared at Faith thoughtfully. "It's funny. We have similar features, don't we?"
"Yes. That's why Julian picked me."
"Picked you? I don't understand."
"He came into my bakery one day and told me this wild story about a prehistoric piece of pottery and a long-lost love. He asked for my help. I just thought he was a lonely old man. But then I saw the pot, and I touched it, and I felt an electrical current run through my body from the past to the present."
Suzannah drew in a sharp breath, her eyes glittering in the evening light. Faith put a hand on her arm. "You heard them, too, didn't you?"
"Yes. I've never been so frightened in my life."
"I think the woman who owned that pot looked like me -- and like you. Maybe that's why she speaks to us and not to the others."
"I wondered, but the dreams were so long ago. They haunted me for days until I married Harry, and then they disappeared. I never touched the pot again. I never wanted to feel the way I felt that night."
"That's why you ran away."
"It was a sin, what Julian did, made worse by my actions. I'm the one who broke the pot. I deserved to be punished."
"So you went home and married a man you didn't love." Faith sat up straight, suddenly seeing all the parallels in their stories. "And she stopped speaking to you because you would no longer understand. That's it. You made a different choice, and you could no longer hear her. It all makes sense now."
"Not to me." Suzannah looked even more confused. "What choice did I make?"
"You married a man for duty and not for love."
"You don't know that."
"Don't I?" Faith sent her a steady look, seeing the truth in her eyes. "And the woman who owned the pot chose love over duty. Please tell me you kept the pot, Suzannah."
"I need to speak to Julian before I say anything else."
"Then you'll have to help us find him," Alex interrupted, returning to the room. "If he didn't come here to meet you, he must have gone somewhere else. The question is, where?"
* * *
Julian stared at the enormous warehouse in front of him. It was nine o'clock and the warehouse was closing. The last shoppers had left the building with their shopping carts filled with toilet paper and dish soap and boxes of cookies and trays of muffins. He'd watched as one family loaded up the back of their Suburban with several boxes of foods and goods.
The world had changed so much in fifty years, and the land had changed too. There was now an enormous parking lot and a cement monster where there once had been dirt and trees and wildflowers and a sky filled with stars, filled with magic.
Julian sat down on a bench outside the front door. He knew this was the spot they had come to all those years ago. He was sure of it. Because one thing hadn't changed: the cross on the nearby hillside, marking the grave of some unknown person.
He remembered many nights when he and Suzannah had come to this very spot. It had been deserted then, nothing but trees and shrubs and walking trails. They'd parked the car on the dirt and turned on the radio. They'd laughed over crackers and cheese, and when the night had grown old and the moon had grown full, they'd danced under the stars.
Tears blurred his vision. It was just as well. He no longer wanted to see the parking lot, the building behind him, the proof of progress. Another generation had taken over their spot. It was too late to recapture his dreams or his love. Alex had been right all along. He was chasing windmills, seeing a world that didn't exist.
His heart filled with sadness as the coolness of the evening chilled his bones. He had left it too long. He had had his chance, his time in the sun, and it was gone.
He couldn't go to Suzannah's house. He couldn't walk up to her door and simply ring the bell -- not after all these years. He had no courage left, no strength to go on. The curse had won. He would die alone.
* * *
"Do you have any idea where we're going?" Alex asked Suzannah as she squinted to see a road sign. They'd gotten into his car thirty minutes earlier and so far appeared to be driving in circles.
"So much has changed," Suzannah said. "I'm not even sure if Julian would remember where we used to go, much less be able to find it. I've lived here for two years, and I still don't know my way around. Turn here -- I think."
Alex groaned but did as she requested. He couldn't believe he was now looking for his grandfather when he'd spent the past week looking for Suzannah. Why, oh, why had he come on this wild-goose chase?
"Don't give up now," Faith said from the backseat. "We'll find him."
"Then I'm going to kill him," he said darkly. "And I swear if he jumps out of the shadows and yells 'gotcha'... well, you won't want to be around." Actually, right now Alex longed for his grandfather to do exactly that. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his bones. Maybe Julian had set out for Suzannah's house and collapsed on the way. He could be lying in a hospital bed right now, or worse yet -- he could be alone and needing help.
Alex took several calming breaths. He'd never had a big imagination, but it was working overtime tonight. He checked his rearview mirror for cars and saw Faith staring out the back window, looking as alarmed as he felt. For all her belief in the goodness of life, she didn't look too optimistic, and another knot formed in his gut. Even Jessie looked grim, not to mention tired.
What the hell was he doing -- driving aimlessly around Flagstaff, Arizona, without a clue as to where he was going?
"That's it," Suzannah said suddenly.
He slammed on the brakes, throwing them all forward in the car. "What?"
"Turn down that street." She pointed off to the right. "It was over there. I remember, because there's
a cross on the hillside, and we used to look at it and wonder who was buried there."
"Sounds like a fun place to go."
"This spot was empty then. We used to drive out here in Julian's old car. It rattled and rolled all the way. When we got here, we'd turn on the radio and we'd dance. I loved to dance. We were supposed to come here that night -- that last night. In the morning we were planning to drive into New Mexico, to leave Arizona. But that didn't happen." Her voice grew wistful. "I never danced with anyone as good as Julian. Poor Harry couldn't carry a rhythm to save his life. But Julian, he literally swept me off my feet. He was a wonderful man, kind, caring, considerate, always willing to listen. I'd never met anyone like him."
Alex couldn't believe what he was hearing. His grandfather had always been selfish, arrogant, interested in getting what was his, making his point, and not listening to others. Had time colored Suzannah's memories as well as Julian's or had they truly had such a romantic love affair?
He had to admit the longing in her voice had taken him by surprise. He'd believed all along that Julian's memories were one-sided, but Suzannah seemed as lost without Julian as he was without her.
"That's the spot," Suzannah said. "Pull into the parking lot."
"It's a shopping warehouse," Alex said in surprise.
"I told you things have changed."
"Grandfather wouldn't have come here."
"Maybe not. I don't know where else to go." She shot him a desperate look that matched his own feelings exactly.
Alex drove farther into the parking lot. It was dark and empty; the warehouse was closed. "This is ridiculous. We'll just go back to the hotel and wait. He has to return sometime." Alex pulled into a parking spot so he could turn around and go back the way he'd come in.
"Wait," Faith said abruptly. "I think we should take a closer look."
"What's the point? He's not here."
"There's someone by the front door. I think it's a man. He's sitting on the bench." Faith had the door open before he could turn off the engine. Jessie jumped out as well, leaving only Suzannah and him in the car.
"Shall we go check it out?" he asked her.
"I'm not sure I can do this."
"You can."
"Do you think he'll remember me?"
"I don't think he's ever forgotten you. Why don't we find out if it's him?"
Chapter Twenty-Six
"Julian?" Faith called. Her heart sped up as she saw the man slumped on the bench. His head hung so low it touched his chest. He didn't appear to be moving. Oh, God! What if he'd had a heart attack? Could they have come all this way only to be stopped now? As she got closer, she turned to Jessie. "Honey, maybe you should wait here."
Jessie looked stricken. "Is he dead?"
"I hope not."
Faith went over to the bench, praying all the way. "Julian, are you all right?" She touched his shoulder with her hand, and he opened his eyes, his clear blue, weary old eyes.
"Miss Faith?"
"Oh, thank heavens. We've been looking all over for you."
"I shouldn't have come here. It's too late."
"It's not too late."
"She was a dream, my Suzannah. But she's gone, and I can't get her back. Everything has changed. I just want to go home."
"Julian, she's here."
He looked at her without comprehending. "What?"
"Suzannah is here. We found her." She smiled at him with encouragement. "She told us about this spot."
"No," he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Yes. Don't you think it's time you said hello?"
Faith took a step back, and Suzannah walked into the light. Julian stood up and the air crackled between them. Faith held her breath wondering what would happen next. What would they say, what would they do?
"Suzannah." Julian drew himself up to his full height, no longer slumping with age and fatigue but standing proud and tall. He looked like a new man.
"Julian," she acknowledged, tossing her head back ever so slightly. She held herself as stiff and straight as a poker.
Another moment of silence followed, so excruciatingly painful Faith wanted to jump into the breach, to yell at them to start talking, to make up for lost time, to say something, anything.
But all they could do was stare at one another, looking, searching, wondering...
"I can't believe it's you," Julian said finally. "My God! You look as beautiful as the last time I saw you."
Suzannah trembled ever so slightly, obviously touched by his words. "I'm an old woman now, Julian. Not at all the young girl you remember."
He looked into her eyes. "I never thought I'd see you again."
"And I never thought to see you. But here you are." She tipped her head toward their surroundings. "In our spot..." Her voice broke and she took in a deep breath and let it out. "So many years have passed. I see all the signs of age -- in both of us. And yet you look so very much the same. How can that be?"
"You look the same to me, too." Julian slowly extended his hand. "And I believe, if memory serves me right, that you owe me a dance."
A lone tear dripped down her cheek. "Julian. It's too late for us."
"Just a dance, one dance."
"Here?"
"Yes, here. In our meadow of wildflowers."
Suzannah took his hand. She went into his arms as if it had been five minutes since they'd seen each other. And slowly they began to dance.
"Go get the car, Alex," Faith whispered. "Pull it over there and turn on the music."
Alex sent her a skeptical look but did as she requested. He pulled up a second later and opened the windows so that a song of romance filled the night, transforming the warehouse parking lot into a starlit meadow for one last time.
Alex got out of the car and slipped his arms around Faith's waist, pulling her back against his chest as Julian and Suzannah danced in the middle of the parking lot.
"It's incredible," Faith murmured. "I think true love really does last."
"There were people in between, Faith. My grandfather married five other women."
"But they weren't Suzannah."
Alex's arms tightened around her body, holding her close. She wished Alex could believe as she did. But she feared he saw only the warehouse parking lot and not the magic of the night. Then his lips trailed down her cheek and she wondered...
* * *
An hour later they sat around Suzannah's kitchen table once again. She and Julian seemed to be in a daze, unable to speak coherent sentences or form rational thoughts. They'd spoken only haltingly in the car on the way home, disjointed phrases that meant little to Faith but obviously something to them.
Upon arriving at Suzannah's house, Jessie had disappeared into another room to find a television set. Faith didn't blame her for wanting some space. It had been a very long day. But there were questions that still needed to be asked and answers that needed to be given.
"Can I get anyone anything?" Suzannah asked.
Alex and Faith murmured no, while Julian continued to stare at Suzannah as if he were afraid she would vanish before his very eyes. Finally Julian spoke.
"We must talk about what happened, Suzannah." He put his hand over hers. "Please tell me why you ran away that night."
Suzannah took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I was frightened. The wind grew fierce after you left. It blew through the trailer like a hurricane. I couldn't breathe. I was choking on the dust. So I grabbed my bag and the pot and ran outside. I thought of going to you, but the wind knocked me over. At that point, all I wanted to do was get away from the voices in my head. I took your car and drove to the bus station. There was a bus leaving for Los Angeles, and I got on it. I hoped you would find your car."
"I did, eventually."
Suzannah stared down at their entwined hands. "I was a coward to run away as I did, but I felt so terrible. And in the beginning I was angry with you. I knew stealing the pot was wrong, but breaking it was even worse. Everything my a
unt had told me was true. I was wicked. I was a sinner. It all made sense to me. When I returned home, my aunt was ill. She begged me to marry Harry Conrad. He was a good man, she told me. He was studying to be a minister, and perhaps with him I would be able to find God."
She paused for a long moment. "I thought maybe it was the right thing to do after all that had gone wrong in Arizona. It wasn't fair to Harry, of course. But at eighteen, I didn't realize that, or else I just didn't care. Years later, I did care, and I tried to love him back, to be a good wife. We didn't have a bad life together. I lacked for little, except children, but that wasn't meant to be."
"Perhaps because of what we did, the curse I brought down on our heads. I was never sure if it had hurt you. I'm sorry." Julian touched her hair with a tenderness that caught at Faith's heart. "I wish you had waited for me that night, or called me when you got home. I would have come for you. I would have tried to help you."
She smiled at him. "It's so easy to say that now. But we were young. It was a different world then. And we had our lives ahead of us. You were heading for Broadway as I recall. Did you make it there?"
"I spent most of my life there."
"I'm glad."
"But you never became a dancer?"
"I became a minister's wife, and I was pretty good at it, most of the time."
"Did Harry ever ask you about..."
"No, and I never told him. Maybe that was wrong. But I couldn't share you with anyone." She offered him a sad, twisted smile as she struggled not to cry. "But now I guess it doesn't matter anymore."
"Okay, let's cut to the chase," Alex said abruptly.
"Alex, you're not being very sensitive," Faith said with a frown. "They're just getting to know each other again."
"I'm tired, Faith. And I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be another long day, because if I know anything about my grandfather, I know this. He has a plan, and you and I figure prominently in it. That is, if Suzannah still has her half of the pot."
The Sweetest Thing Page 29
