“A pleasure, sir.”
“Now Hayden, we’ve talked about this ‘sir’ business.”
There was a genuineness to him that made Jaime trust him.
“Yes, sir, Scott. It’s just you’re a senator.”
“And you’re an important family friend.”
“More than that, Dad.” The younger Wesley exited his father’s private office. He leaned in to kiss Hayden’s cheek. “Ready for our coffee?”
“Especially if there’s more of those included.” Hayden winked at him.
Jaime smiled at the playful, flirtatious side Andrew brought out in her friend. “Thanks for the escort.”
“My pleasure.” Hayden turned to the senator. “Be nice to Jaime. She’s one of my best friends.”
The words warmed Jaime as she watched Andrew take Hayden’s arm and guide her to the door. Then she let out a breath and turned back to the senator. “Sir?”
“Why don’t you come into my office?” He motioned her to proceed him.
“Thank you for making the time to meet with me.”
“Hayden told me you had some concerns about testifying. Your testimony will be important.” Instead of moving behind his broad, dark wood desk that looked large enough to serve as a mission control station, he sat on an antique, uncomfortable-looking couch. “Please have a seat.”
She sank onto one of the upholstered wingback chairs that sat across from the couch. A row of flags was posted behind the couch, providing a patriotic backdrop as if he felt the need to remind her of his role. Her gaze ran over the prints on the red walls, one an antique, detailed map of the counties in Virginia. Another had Life magazine WWII covers. The iconic cover images told the story of strength, resolve, and patriotism. She hoped they communicated something about the man.
“Now how can I ease your mind?” His gaze was steady, and he adjusted his cuffs beneath his suit coat, only revealing the edges of his watch, but Jaime got the message. His time was valuable, and she’d been given a gift she shouldn’t waste.
“I was subpoenaed today for my uncle Dane Nichols’s advice and consent hearings.”
“Yes, he is scheduled for a week from now.”
That didn’t give her much time to make things happen in the court case. The wheels of justice turned too slowly for that to impact this hearing. Her uncle would be confirmed long before he spent a full day in court. “I’ve never been asked to testify before Congress. Why now? Have you met my uncle?”
“Once. He’s hard to forget.”
“So I’ve been told.” She forced herself to look up and hoped he could see her heart. “I’m not here because I don’t want him to be a general, though I’ll admit the thought makes me nauseous. Will my testimony matter?”
“I believe it will.”
“Is it possible to close the hearing to media?”
“I don’t believe so. We have all these open meeting laws. Don’t you want people to hear what he’s done?”
“Yes, if it can protect even one person.”
“Do you have reason to believe he’s abused other girls?” The senator looked suitably concerned.
“No, sir. Only research that shows many times abusers attack more than one person.” She sighed and glanced back down, his direct focus difficult to meet for long. “The military is having enough challenges in the sexual abuse area. You don’t want to add my uncle to a position of authority.”
They spoke for a few more minutes as he asked probing questions, and she answered as honestly as she could.
“Your testimony will be timely.” He stood, and a moment later she was shaking his hand and then being ushered out of his inner sanctum so quickly she wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened. After meeting with his assistant, she walked the hallway of the Senate Office Building, then around a corner where she sank on the first bench she found, her legs collapsing under her.
Had she just told a powerful stranger her darkest secrets? Her hands trembled as she opened her purse and dug through it for a mint or some gum.
Important people walked past in herds. A senator with support staff, followed by lobbyists and aides. The tourists were easy to spot as they moved through the hallowed halls with wonder and a look of bewilderment. This was where decisions were made that affected their daily lives.
And here she sat, with no driving direction other than to finish the path she had started.
She wanted to weep because she’d started the path convinced it was the only way to closure.
Instead, she’d created a trajectory laced with pain and fear. Nightmares chased her sleep, and she wanted to stuff this genie back in the bottle. Even if she could, she sensed her uncle would continue until she was pulverized. She’d taken on evil without tools to combat it.
Whatever her next step was, remaining on that bench was not it. Hayden had texted during the meeting an apology that she had to return to the office for an emergency, so Jaime would have to wind her way back via the Metro.
Her phone vibrated and she tugged it from her purse to find a text from Caroline.
RU done? Meet me at Ebenezer’s? I can grab a late lunch
Jaime texted back. Be there in 30
Perfect
If anyone could ease her from this funk, Caroline could.
Jaime slipped her coat on and then walked to the eclectic Coffee with a Cause next to the Securities and Exchange Commission. As she waited inside the heavy brick interior, Caroline walked in.
“Thanks for meeting me.” Caroline’s honeyed words were a balm.
“I needed the break.”
“I figured. That had to be intense.”
Jaime nodded but kept her focus on the menu board. “Any recommendations?”
“Try the honey lavender latte. You won’t be disappointed.”
“Okay.” Jaime lengthened the word because it didn’t sound good, but a minute later when they sat in a nook with long windows warming the space, she took a sip and decided it was a good experiment. She filled Caroline in about the meeting. “I thought you were getting lunch.”
“I’ll grab something at my desk. It’s an excuse to hear about the meeting. Spill.”
“The senator was nice, but the thought of testifying scares me. It’s my word against an almost general.”
Caroline held on to her mug, a sky-blue scarf wrapped loosely around her neck and bringing color to her cheeks. “Maybe this is exactly how everything is supposed to unfold.”
“What do you mean?”
“What if God wants to bring you to a place of healing with help from a senator?”
Jaime bit back a snort. “I don’t know.”
The hurts felt so raw, the questions still so deep. She wanted an outlet to ask them and be heard. The testimony didn’t feel like that forum.
“He cares most where our hurts are deepest. This is a crater in your soul. What better way to prove His existence to you than to force the issue of healing?”
“Wait. I’m the one who filed the charges and got called to testify.”
“By a senator who just happens to be the future father-in-law of one of your closest friends and happens to sit on the perfect subcommittee?” Caroline cocked an eyebrow and pointed a perfectly manicured finger at Jaime. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”
“And I struggle to believe in a God who allowed Dane to abuse me.”
“Yet.”
“What?” Jaime could feel a fire rising in her bones.
“You don’t believe yet.” Caroline shrugged. “I’m not giving up on you.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Absolutely.” Caroline took a sip and then smiled. “I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t fight for you.”
CHAPTER 38
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 16
Simba waited by the door when Jaime opened it after the Metro ride back from the city. She’d opted to walk slowly from the station, trying to organize her thoughts and emotions. It had been a crazy day, and she’d invited Chan
dler over before she’d known how draining it would be.
She felt soul-level emptied.
Could this all be part of God’s pursuit of her, as Caroline suggested?
Was He big enough to take her questions and love her anyway? Would He absorb her anger and release her to feel? She sensed His tug, but the next step felt massive.
She dropped her bag beside the catch-all table, kicked off her shoes, and then scooped up the cat. “What was I thinking, boy?” She walked to her bedroom. “I must have felt weak this morning when I promised Chandler supper.”
She squeezed into her room and changed into a pair of jeans and blouse. Then it was back to the kitchen to work through food options since she’d skipped the grocery store due to lack of time. “Looks like it’s pasta with homemade sauce and some kind of salad.”
Jaime was dicing vegetables for the sauce when the front doorknob jiggled, and Caroline opened the door. She carried her things to the small closet and hung them up before turning around to greet Jaime.
“What are you working on?”
“Supper. I forgot to mention at coffee I invited Chandler over.”
“No problem. I’ll make myself scarce.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do. You’re letting me stay here, not disrupt your life.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “By the way, I stopped by the apartment again to get a couple things. It’s looking like the people the management company hired haven’t even started yet. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t understand home improvement projects, but I expected something to change.”
“That’s not a good sign.”
“I’ve got a call into the company. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” But the way she twisted a strand of hair around her finger and then let go only to do it again conveyed Caroline’s discomfort. She wasn’t certain of anything.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”
“You’re sweet, but you weren’t looking for a permanent roommate.” She shook her head as if clearing the thought. “Oh, before I forget. Brandon’s hosting a cookout at Fort Hunt Park in a few days. We want you to come.”
Jaime wiped her eyes as the onion hit her. “Are you two becoming an item?”
A blush climbed Caroline’s cheeks even as she shook her head. “He’s way too busy with his kids, and I’m not interested.”
“In an ex-football player who happens to be jaw-dropping?”
“Says the girl fascinated by the Captain America look-alike. Jaime, there’s no way he’s interested in me. It’s a shame, because he’s great with kids, but that wouldn’t work anyway.”
“So he needs a nudge.”
“No!” Caroline stepped away from the doorjamb. “Don’t even think about doing something like that. I’m content with my life.”
“Do you want me to speak the truth?”
“Not even in love, girlfriend. What time is Chandler coming?”
“Nice try. Six. Why don’t you want the truth?”
“Because. But save the date for the picnic. And bring Chandler. It’ll give you something to look forward to.” Caroline waggled her fingers at Jaime and collected her bag.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll grab dinner, maybe go back to the court. Brandon brought some girls in today that I used to know. Between that impromptu drop-in and coffee with you, I’m behind. Don’t wait up.”
Before Jaime could respond, her friend was out the door. She knew she didn’t need someone as a buffer to make sure all stayed well. She knew she was safe with Chandler. He was a kind warrior. The sort who would give his life to protect the innocent. Her innocence had been stolen years earlier, and he still stayed.
She stirred the sauce and then walked to the bathroom, leaned into the sink, and studied her image in the mirror. “He’s coming so you can ask him questions. You’ve eaten together before. You’ve watched movies together. This is no big leap forward.”
The problem was her heart knew those words were lies, every one.
Chandler stepped from the elevator, then held it open for Caroline. “Am I chasing you out?”
“Not at all.” She made a no-big-deal expression. “I’m headed to work. Have a nice time.”
“Isn’t it late to head in?” He released the door to let her descend.
She stuck her hand there to hold it open. “Not really. But listen. You do anything to hurt Jaime, and I have friends who can hurt you.” The door started beeping a warning, but she continued to hold it. “That woman is precious to me and not to be toyed with.”
“Promise. She’s special to me too.”
“Good. The flowers are a nice touch.” Caroline released her hand on the door and let them slide closed.
Chandler glanced down at the bouquet he’d picked up at a local market. The sunflowers and mums had felt like fall and a pulse of color that he hoped would make Jaime smile every time she saw them. The way she engendered such protectiveness in Caroline was both endearing and a little terrifying. Jaime had an agenda for inviting him up, but he didn’t know what. Give me wisdom.
The hallway started smelling of garlic and onion before he reached her door. His stomach rumbled as he knocked on the door and then stepped back. A minute later she opened it, and her studied casual elegance made him want to tell her she didn’t need to try so hard. He loved everything about her. He needed to back away though. She couldn’t be his, not yet.
“Thanks for inviting me over. Whatever you’re cooking smells better than the microwave meal I’d have scorched.” He held up the flowers. “I got these for you.”
Jaime’s mouth tipped open as her eyes misted. “Thank you. They’re perfect.” She took them and slid around the island. “I’ve got a vase here somewhere.” She dug around, avoiding looking at him.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“No.” She popped up from digging through a cabinet. “I found one.”
“Jaime, I’m glad to be here, but not at the expense of your peace.” She fidgeted with the flowers, so he reached across the island and stilled her hands. “You are important, and I wanted you to know you’re seen.”
A tear trickled down her cheek, and his heart squeezed. “Why?”
“Because you are valuable.” He reached across and ran his thumb down her cheek. The skin soft as rose petals to the touch. She stilled and he felt time freeze. A moment to capture. Just like he wanted to taste her mouth and let her know how much value he found in her. He held back, knowing it could be too much.
Time to get back to whatever purpose she had. He slid his thumb from her cheek and took a step back. “What are you making? Something Italian?”
She blinked as if coming back from a daze. “It’s a bit of this and that. Hopefully it will be good.”
They made small talk while she finished preparing the meal, then sat at the tiny table to eat the chicken and pasta with a nice salad. Jaime kept up her end of the conversation but seemed quiet and lost in her thoughts at times.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin and then leaned back. “That was excellent. Thanks for a home-cooked meal. Now can you tell me what’s bugging you?”
She swirled her fork through the chunky vegetables left on her plate. “I finished the book you loaned me.”
“You mentioned that last night. What did you think?”
“I can see why you like it.”
“Oh?”
“It’s a simple yet compelling story. You named your Aslan well.”
“I’ve always liked that the lion Aslan isn’t tame.”
“Why? I’d be like Susan, afraid to meet him.”
“If he were tame, we could control him. The magic of Aslan is that he’s bigger and more than we are.” Chandler took a sip of water. “I like the idea that God is wild and so much more than me, but He fights for me.”
“I don’t like the idea that following Him means being out of control.”
“But He’s a good king.”
&nb
sp; She shook her head and then shrugged. “Maybe He has been for you. I’ve had a different experience.” She sighed. “I want so much what you and my friends have, but there’s this insurmountable reality of my past.”
Chandler heard the longing in her voice. There was so much hope, if she could just reach out and grab it. He prayed as he leaned toward her. “There’s nothing in your past that scares God. I know to my core He was there with you, crying with you.”
“But I never sensed Him.”
“He was there. And He’s with you now. So many would be devastated by your experience. Instead, you’re this amazingly strong overcomer. And I know to the absolute core of my soul that He will use your past for good if you let Him.”
“I want to believe that. But I’m struggling.” Her voice was beautifully broken.
“That ‘want to’ is the first step, Jaime.”
A blaze of emotions skated over her face, one followed by the other, until hope chased fear away.
CHAPTER 39
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17
A man stood in the doorway. He crept closer, and Jaime tried to push farther into the shadows of her bed. If she pretended she was asleep, he would go away.
But he didn’t. He paused as if sniffing the air, and then stepped closer.
Again.
And again.
Until he was so close, she felt his breath.
Jaime jerked awake. She fought against lungs locked in panic, her mouth open in a silent scream.
Caroline opened the door to Jaime’s room and slipped inside, her face illuminated by the light cast by the bedside lamp. She eased onto the edge of the bed and slowly rubbed Jaime’s arm. “You aren’t alone, Jaime.” The circular motion began to orient Jaime to the fact she was in her room. “Father, please make Your presence known to Jaime through Your peace that passes all understanding.”
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” The words escaped in spurts and gasps.
“I know. You’re the bravest women I know, but you can’t walk this alone.”
“I have you, right?” Jaime tried to laugh and break the tension still squeezing through her, but she couldn’t. Pressure built to know the truth. To take the risk to trust this God as her friends did.
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