by M. Clarke
“Liz would know not to waste my time. Are we done?”
As anger brewed inside me, I took a deep breath. I’d heard stories of how some models were difficult to work with. This one was surely on the top of that list. “I need to take some of you and Shane together.”
“I’m giving you five minutes. Not a minute more.”
“I’ll get you out in four if you cooperate,” I said with confidence in my tone.
Shane snickered, but Chloe’s eyes shot back at me, seeming surprised. Her silence told me either she had not expected my words, or she didn’t believe me.
Just at the four minute mark, I put the camera down. “We’re done. If you would like to see the proofs, I can show you them in an hour. But as you already know, Matthew and his department will have the final say.”
“I trust your work, Rachel. You have the green light from me,” Shane said.
“It doesn’t matter who takes your picture, Shane. You would look hot even if an amateur took it,” Chloe snipped.
“Is that a compliment, Chloe?” There was a hint of a snarl in his tone as he stood in front of her. “Rachel was brilliant today. If you have a problem with who I work with, then maybe we need to replace you.”
Looking a bit stunned, she batted her eyelashes without a word and left.
“Thanks, Shane, but you don’t have to stick up for me. I can take care of myself. I don’t want you to jeopardize your career over me. Or break up any ties with your friends or coworkers.”
“I don’t know what her problem is today, but she’s usually not like that. Perhaps she’s threatened by your beauty.” Shane took my hand and kissed the back of it.
“I’m sure that’s not it.” I blushed. “Anyway, I should get going.” I got out of that room as fast as I could. Shane was sweet and if there was no Jax and me, I would take his offer and have dinner with him. Not wanting him to get the wrong idea, I decided it was best to get to my office. I also didn’t want to see Chloe, even though I had no idea where she had stormed off to.
Just as I stepped out of the room, I heard Shane’s voice.
“Rachel, there’s a call for you.”
I thought that’s what he’d said. Mesmerized by the man walking down the hall, I tried to put the pieces together as to why he looked familiar and why he made my heart thump with blissful beats. As my body gravitated toward his without my consent, I tried to stop the sudden sensation that flooded through me. Looking away, I took a moment to catch my breath. Surely, he couldn’t be my Jax. He was in London.
This man had short hair and was cleanly shaven. And though his body frame resembled Jax’s, I was certain it wasn’t him, especially when he was smiling at a child running toward him. But those dimples….
“Daddy.” The cute little boy couldn’t have been more than three. He jumped into the man’s arms. Receiving kisses from his dad, he squirmed and giggled.
What shocked me even more was seeing Chloe with a smile she would never show me just a few feet away. “J. C. You came,” she said out loud, loud enough that it echoed down the hall, as if she wanted everyone on this floor to hear.
Being that it was none of my business, I tried to move my legs, but I couldn’t. Frozen in place as my heart raced with anticipation and fear, I felt like I was watching a movie and this was the part where something bad was about to unfold.
“What’s so damn urgent?” he barked.
“Nothing, baby. Jace and I missed you.”
That voice…the beautiful music to my ears, the voice that beckoned me when he spoke no matter what he said…. Oh God! Please don’t let that be my Jax! I screamed inside of my head. I knew Shane was watching me watching them, but I didn’t care. I heard him mumble a few words, but they went right out my other ear. I thought I even felt him shake me a little, but not even lightning striking me at that moment could’ve broken my wide, curious eyes.
Seeing Chloe turn my way with that expression I wanted to scrub off her face with a spiky sponge, I broke out of my gaze and flashed my eyes to the ground just for a second.
“Don’t call me—” he started to say, but stopped.
Dead silence sliced through the air. I slowly lifted my eyes up to see the man’s face staring at me. Turning pale with a look of shock on his face, he just stood there, either trying to figure out why I was being nosey or….
“Rachel?” he called softly.
My mind knew it was Jax, but my heart kept telling me that I was wrong. When he called my name, darkness flashed before my eyes and the breath I was holding released. But then, I felt like I was under water and couldn’t come up for air. As my breath came out in short spurts, acid filled my throat, and I wanted to vomit. I wanted the floor to open up and suck me away from this nightmare, but as reality slammed me hard and strong, there was no place to hide.
Feeling a huge lump in my throat and the burning sensation in my eyes, I tried to control my shaking muscles so I could get the hell out of there…but I couldn’t. I had been swallowed up in the abyss of the black hole, feeling like my heart had been ripped out of my chest as Jax and I continued to stare for what seemed like an eternity, neither one of us blinking.
Feeling my lens cap slip out of my hand startled me, giving me the momentum to move. I bolted out of there as fast as I could before Jax had a chance to reach me, but it was impossible when the walls started spinning and the elevator became difficult to reach.
“What the hell is going on, J. C.?” Shane asked in a hostile tone.
“Get your hands off me. It’s none of your business. I’m warning you, stay away from Rachel.” Then there were running footsteps. “Rachel! We need to talk!”
The door closed just in the nick of time, and the sound of the loud bang sounded more like a tap. I was numb…to the surrounding sounds, to my feelings…and numb to the memories of Jax.
Chapter 29
Rachel
Knowing Jax had no idea where I worked or what floor I was on gave me the advantage. Regardless of that fact, I couldn’t recall how I got to my office to grab my purse, nor could I recall how I got to my car, but I was happy that the shoot was the last thing I had to do before I was free to go home.
As the shock started to wear off, I burst into tears. I tried to hold it together while driving home, but it was difficult when the feeling of being worthless overtook me, and I couldn’t stop my hands from trembling on the wheel.
How could Jax do this to us? It was simple. I meant nothing to him. And that hurt me the most when I was starting to fall in love with him. All of the sweet whispers about the stars and us being soul mates were nothing but words to him. All of the cute and flirty text messages meant nothing to him. He was a cold, heartless ass. And I was the stupid fool who believed him. He should have left me to die with the sharks. It might have been less painful than what I was feeling now.
If he went out with someone like Chloe, I figured that would explain him cheating and his ruthless heart. People tended to gravitate to the same type of people. Then again, that would make me just like him. Perhaps the universe was getting back at me for breaking up with Greg. Who knew?
The beautiful memories we shared were now replaced by lies and regret. Perhaps I should have never come to Los Angeles. No, I was glad that I had. I found out the truth. The truth I needed to know, that Jax was a liar. That Jax was a cheater. And damn…Jax was a father.
Now it made sense why Chloe was a bitch to me and why she looked familiar. She was the blonde in Kauai. She must have found out about Jax and me. I didn’t blame her. He was probably sleeping with the both of us. That would explain why he was busy while he was on vacation.
In a way, I felt sorry for Chloe and for their child. When she took off after the shoot, she must have gotten Jace from the low-cost daycare Knight Fashion offered to our employees. Max and Matthew had come up with the idea shortly after they had kids of their own.
How was I going to face Chloe and Shane at work? This was awful and embarrassing. I should have
listened to my intuition. It was definitely a lesson learned. At least I had this weekend to cool off, and hopefully everyone else would, too.
No matter how many times I’d told myself that Jax was an ass and deserved to go to hell, I couldn’t stop my bleeding heart. I couldn’t erase the memories of his touch, his sweet words, and his body against mine. What was supposed to be an innocent spring fling had turned into a nightmare.
The first thing I did when I made it back to my place was to call Stacey, but I was distracted by a text sent by Jax, or J.C., or whatever his real name was.
Call me! We need to talk!
Seriously! Did he think I was actually going to call him? Angered by the text, I started to dial Stacey, but ended the call instead. Would this news change her relationship with Hendrix? I had to put my selfish needs aside and think about how this was going to affect people around me.
I decided to take a shower and clear my head, but just before, I grabbed JC off my bed and threw it in the trashcan. That made me feel a tiny bit better. While the hot water streamed down my body, all I could do was think about Jax…the way he touched me, kissed me, and held me in his arms. Damn you, Jax! How could you? As tears started blending with the water, I shouted out all of the curse words I could think of. Wrapping my arms in front of my chest to hold myself together, I slid down as low as I could and cried my eyes out.
The phone calls and texts from Jax were nonstop, the reason I had turned off the ringer. Just before I did, Becky called me to have lunch with her at Panera, one of my favorite places to eat. Needing some distraction, I decided to meet her late in the afternoon, knowing it would be less crowded. I’d never hid anything from my sister, and I sure wasn’t going to start now.
“It sounds like they’re no longer together,” Becky stated. “And from what you are saying, it sounds like that bitch did it on purpose.”
“I know. I want to do something really hurtful to her, but that would make me just like her.”
Becky took a bite of her salad. “Do you want to talk to Matthew about this?”
“No,” I snapped. “I mean…it’s okay. It’ll just make things weird. We’re done with the shoot, so maybe that will be the end of that. Plus, she likes this girl named Liz. She’ll probably request her next time.”
“I think you should at least give Jax a chance to explain. It sounded like you really liked him when you last talked about him.”
I placed my glass down and shifted in my seat. “He had plenty of chances in Kauai.”
“Either way, he’ll find a way. If he’s anything like Matthew, he’ll break down your door and make you listen.” Becky checked her beautiful Rolex watch, which was a gift from Matthew. Sometimes I envied my sister. Though I was in no rush to get married, she had a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter, a family she could call her own.
“He won’t be able to break down the door if he doesn’t know where I live. I’m going to make sure to keep it that way.” I stabbed the fork into the bowl of pasta in anger, and shoved it into my mouth. Looking over at Becky’s plate, I noted she was practically finished with her lunch and I still had a plate full.
“Jeez, Rachel. When did you become so much like me? You’re so stubborn.”
“Anger brings out the worst in humans.” I twitched my brows to make a point.
“But you don’t have to be. Just let him talk to you. Let him explain, then you can make up your mind.” Becky started punching the keys on her phone. Who was she texting? And what was so urgent that she had to be rude and not give me all of her attention.
“He doesn’t deserve my time. And whose side are you on anyway?” I glared at her.
“Your side, of course. But a stubborn person can’t see the truth.”
“Even if he’s not with her anymore…what about the child?”
Becky inhaled a deep breath and glanced at her plate. Taking several bites, she stared into space. Then after what seemed like a long minute, she caught my eyes. “Yeah….” She closed her lips tightly as if to stop herself from giving me her opinion. “How do you feel about that? Having a child in your life, part time or not, is a big responsibility. Can you handle it?”
“You’re talking as if we’re going to be together. I have no idea.” I ran my hand down my face as if I could make this go away. I wanted to go back in time, back to Kauai when everything was perfect.
“Do you remember when I was pregnant and scared? I told you that I believe no one is really ready to have a child, planned or not. You just have to be the best parent you can be. Life isn’t about being perfect and sometimes life sure as hell isn’t about having perfect timing. It just is. Either you embrace it or lose your opportunity to what could be something amazing.” Becky leaned in closer as if to share the sincerity of her words. “I’m not going to lie. It’s a lot of work, but I know deep down you would make a great mother even if that child isn’t yours. Just because you gave birth doesn’t make you the mother. The mother is the person who cares for the child’s wellbeing, putting that child first over themselves. You’ve always had a motherly instinct ever since I could remember. Anyway, it’s not like you’re getting married if you and Jax end up dating. Take it one day at a time.”
Taking in Becky’s words, I pushed back into my seat and released a sigh. “I need time. It all happened too fast. I wasn’t looking to fall for someone this soon, and I certainly wasn’t expecting to be a mother.”
“Well, my baby sister. It’s time for you to stop running away and to face reality. I hate that this happened to you, but there’s always two sides of the story.”
“I know, but I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” Becky sounded irritated. “That he’ll tell you how much he cares for you? How much he missed you? And how sorry he is that you found out this way?”
Looking away from Becky I said, “Yes. I’m afraid his words will hurt me again. I was beginning to fall in love with him. He led me to believe….” Then I remembered that he wanted to talk. He had things to tell me. And because of this, my heart started to soften. The empty hole in my heart started to fill up, only to be empty again. It was never ending. I definitely needed closure.
“He led you to believe what?” Becky stared at me so hard that it felt like if she stared long enough the words would print themselves on my forehead.
“That he really cares for me.” I took a long deep breath and paused for a second. “But he has a child.” The words flowed out of me as if the child was a cancer. “If Jax and I got back together, it wouldn’t be just Jax and me. It’d be Jax, the child, and me…and sometimes Chloe. She’d always be a part of my life. It’s a sick situation. I don’t know if I’m ready for all this.” I blinked to keep the tears at bay. Confessing how I truly felt to Becky confirmed how much I still cared for him, more than I wanted to.
“Okay.” Becky picked up her phone again and began to text. “Don’t hate me. I’m only doing this because I love you and I hate seeing you this way. What I’m about to do may seem like I’m not on your side, but because I am, I have to do this. Jenna did this to me when Matthew and I had a big misunderstanding, and I can’t believe I’m using her method on you. She’s going to laugh at me.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, feeling baffled as I watched her get out of her seat. Whatever she mumbled, it didn’t sound like I would like it at all. What could she have done that would make me hate her? I found out real quick.
“Stay right here. I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?” I huffed with a sigh. Becky was up to no good, and I had no idea what this “no good” was.
“To the restroom.” Becky looked at me sternly. “Stay.”
I obeyed until I saw that not only did she have her purse with her, she was walking out the door. “Becky?” I called as loud as I could in a restaurant.
As Becky walked out, someone handsome walked in. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was Jax. At first, I wasn’t sure if it was Jax because I wa
s not used to seeing him with short hair. Though he’d looked gorgeous with long hair, I liked the short length on him even better. But it didn’t matter. I felt like I didn’t know who he was anymore.
Jax spotted me right away, as if he knew exactly where I was seated. My darn sister. This was what she was talking about. I recalled her telling me before that Jenna tricked her into talking to Matthew and how angry she was. Well, I guess if the shoe fits, you’ll wear it.
I was stuck. Jax approached me, and I became even more trapped when he slid into my side of the booth, caging me in. His once clean-shaven face was filled with stubble. God, he looked sexy as hell. What made this difficult was the heat he was filling me with just from his body being so close to mine.
Never allowing his eyes to meet mine, I kept them focused on the utensils in front of me. I was too afraid that if I looked at him, I would throw myself into his arms. I had to be strong.
Jackson
As soon as I walked in, my eyes caught Rachel’s. The only expression I saw was betrayal and hurt in her eyes, and most of all shock to see me. I hated that what used to be a yearning smile on her face when she saw me was replaced by so many bad emotions. Losing every bit of my confidence when I saw her face, my step faltered, yet I figured I had nothing to lose. I just needed her to hear me out. It was the talk I never had the chance to have.
Knowing Rachel would get the hell out of there if given any opportunity, instead of sitting on the other side of her, I slid in right beside her. Instantly, I became a plague she wanted to avoid. She turned away from me, refusing to look at me. My heart sank to the floor, and all I wanted to do at the moment was to hold my Rachel in my arms and tell her how sorry I was that I had hurt her.
Becky was smart to get a corner table so that we were away from the cashier and the crowd. She was also nice enough not to hang up the phone when I had called her. Since Matthew and I rarely spoke, I had to beg Hendrix to get ahold of Becky’s cell. I made up a lame excuse, and he bought it.
