‘Please, Amy,’ Sarah said softly. ‘Don’t shut me out as if I were a child. I know it’s not something that’s usually spoken of in front of unmarried women—Emily wasn’t at all forthcoming, although even I could see she was unwell after she had that younger girl of hers—but I can see the very sight of this place troubles you. I suppose I feel responsible for whatever you suffered here.’
‘Oh, now you’re being silly,’ Amy protested. ‘Of course it’s not your fault.’ She looked about her to check that there was not the slightest chance of their being overheard. ‘It was a long time ago, and the bad part didn’t seem to matter once I had you,’ she said, keeping her voice low. ‘I was scared, mostly. I didn’t know what to expect. And the nurses… well, they weren’t very nice. Especially the one in charge. There’s ways they can make it easier—you can just go to sleep till it’s all over.’
‘Like an operation in hospital? Father had one once, when I was very small. I remember being taken to see him when he was just waking up from it.’
‘Yes, like that, I expect. They use chloroform to make you sleep. I had it later, with my other babies. But the nurse wouldn’t let me have it with you.’
‘Why ever not?’ Sarah asked, frowning.
Amy stared at the distant windmill, just visible between two buildings. It was easier to speak if she did not have to look at Sarah. ‘She said it’s meant to be awful for girls like me. She wanted me to be so scared I’d never come back to her nursing home again. She wasn’t going to waste chloroform on a whor—on a bad girl.’
She met Sarah’s eyes, and saw cold fury there. ‘How dare she treat you like that!’ Sarah said, her eyes flashing. She halted, released her hold on Amy’s arm and half turned back towards the building. ‘I wonder if there’s any way of tracing the woman,’ she murmured. ‘I’d like to tell her what I think of such behaviour.’
The idea was so ridiculous that Amy laughed aloud. ‘Sarah, it was over twenty years ago! And she wasn’t very young—I’m sure she was a lot older than I am now. She’d be an old, old lady now, if she’s alive at all.’
She slipped her arm through Sarah’s and pressed close against her. Any ghosts of memory lingering in this place seemed banished by Sarah’s warm and solid presence. ‘The worst part of all was when they took you away. And you’ve made that come right. Because you came back to me.’
Sarah stooped to plant a soft kiss on Amy’s cheek. ‘Shall we go home now?’
‘Yes,’ said Amy. ‘Let’s go home.’
8
Beth was already halfway along the road to David’s farm before she realised that she had forgotten to bring a coat. She glanced apprehensively at the iron-grey sky, but decided to risk it rather than ride all the way home again.
She was on the track up to the house when the heavens opened, drenching her in moments. She made no attempt to urge the horse into a faster canter; that would only risk a dangerous stumble, and she could hardly get any wetter than she already was.
When she neared the house she saw David running towards her, carrying a halter and a spare coat. His own coat was flapping open, as he had not taken the time to button it. As Beth slid from the horse, he flung the coat over her shoulders. The two of them got the halter on the horse, took off its tack and turned it in to the nearest paddock. The horse gave them a reproachful stare and shook itself ineffectually.
‘I’ll put this stuff away,’ David called over his shoulder as he ran towards the nearest shed carrying the tack. ‘You go inside and get dry.’
Beth was still in the porch, struggling with numb fingers at the laces of her sodden and muddy boots, when David joined her there. He pulled off her boots before removing his own. They hung the streaming coats on two nails, then erupted into the kitchen.
They stood dripping water on the floor and laughing helplessly at the sight of each other. Their hair was plastered to their scalps, and their clothes were so wet they might as well have been swimming in them.
David fetched a towel from his room. Beth rubbed her hair with it, and made a futile attempt at dabbing some of the water out of her clothes. She passed the towel to David, and watched as he gave his hair a quick rub, leaving it tousled but still dripping.
‘That hasn’t done much good,’ she scolded. ‘Here, let me. Lean forward so I can reach.’
David obligingly lowered his head, but Beth still had to stand on tiptoe to lift the towel high enough. She rubbed vigorously at his thick, dark mane, ignoring his protests that she was pulling it, then dropped the towel, slipped her fingers through his hair and pulled his face down to hers till their lips met.
When David came up for air, Beth kept her fingers twined in his hair and admired the way the ends were turning up as it dried. ‘You and your curls,’ she said. ‘Ma used to say you were too pretty to be a boy. I wish I had hair like yours—or blonde like Maudie’s.’
‘I like yours best.’ David took a rather damp lock of Beth’s fine, light brown hair in his hand and kissed it. She shivered slightly. ‘Are you cold? Come in the parlour, I’ve got the fire going.’
He put his arm around Beth and led her through to the next room. David built up the fire, and they sank onto the rag rug in front of it, leaning against each other.
Beth held out her hands towards the warmth of the fire, but her teeth chattered. ‘You’re really cold,’ David said in concern. ‘You need to get some dry clothes on. Do you want to see if Ma left any dresses here?’
‘I can’t go poking around in Aunt Amy’s stuff! Anyway, I don’t think her things would fit me, she’s so little. I’ll be all right.’ Despite herself, she shivered again.
‘You’d better get out of that wet stuff, anyway.’ David got up and went into his room, and was back a few moments later with a blanket, which he held out towards Beth. ‘You’ll be decent enough in this,’ he said with a grin.
‘You needn’t think I’m getting undressed with you watching me. Go and get changed yourself—your clothes must be nearly as bad as mine.’ She took the blanket, and watched as David went into his bedroom. ‘Close the door!’ she called after him. David made a show of firmly closing it. ‘And don’t come back out here till I say you can.’
She took off her dress and outer petticoat, only to find that her under-petticoat was damp, too. So she stripped to her chemise and drawers, draped her clothes over a chair and wrapped herself in the blanket. ‘You can come out now,’ she called.
To her surprise, David emerged wrapped in a blanket and carrying his clothes. ‘Why didn’t you put some dry clothes on?’ she asked.
‘I haven’t got any clean ones left except my good ones for Sunday.’
‘Well, why didn’t you put everything in the wash when I collected it the other day?’
‘I forgot,’ he admitted. ‘These’ll dry pretty quick.’
‘Oh, honestly! I’m going to go all through your drawers, and check under the bed and everything before next wash day.’
She took the trousers and shirt from him and draped them over the room’s other chair. She wondered what David was wearing under the blanket; as he pulled both chairs closer to the fire, the blanket gaped a little, and she caught a glimpse of what looked like woollen combinations.
They sat on the rug again. David took off his socks and spread them on the bricks of the hearth. Beth followed his lead and slipped off her stockings under cover of the blanket, and put the stockings with her wet clothes. ‘You should make one of those drying racks for Aunt Amy,’ she said. ‘We use ours all the time in winter.’
‘That’s a good idea. I’ll come and have a look at yours some time to see how to make it.’ He looked at Beth, who was hugging her knees under the blanket. ‘Are you warm enough yet?’
‘Not really. Even my… what I’ve got on’s a bit damp.’
David held out an arm, letting the blanket drop slightly. ‘Cuddle up, then. I don’t want you getting a chill.’
Beth hesitated a moment; two rather threadbare blankets did not seem much of a barrier be
tween two bodies clad only in underwear. But David’s solid form looked invitingly warm in the draughty room that the fire had still not done much to heat. She snuggled into the crook of his arm, and tilted her face for the kiss she was expecting. David obliged.
They twined their arms around each other, kissing more and more enthusiastically. For the first time since the rain had started, Beth began to feel warm.
When her lips were released, she leaned back against David’s supporting arms to look into his face, with its dark blue eyes and frame of curls. ‘Too pretty to be a boy,’ she teased, taking a curl in one hand and tugging it gently. David retrieved her hand and kissed it, then returned his attention to her mouth.
As he pressed against her, she almost lost her balance under his weight, and put out a hand to steady herself. David let go of her just long enough to snatch two cushions from the couch. With the cushions as pillows, they stretched out on the rug to cuddle more easily.
‘Mmm, this is nice,’ Beth murmured when her mouth was again free. She was vaguely aware that her blanket was no longer wrapped around her; instead both blankets were lying loosely over the two of them. But it was too comfortable in David’s arms to take notice of such details.
They pressed together more closely, their legs entwined. Warmth crept through Beth. She could feel her heart pounding, and her breath coming rapidly. She ran her hand down David’s arm, feeling the hard muscle moving under her palm.
He was beginning to make moaning noises that struck Beth as comical. She giggled, and tried to free her mouth to tease him about it. David pushed against her; she found herself rolling onto her back with him on top of her.
‘Oof! You’re too heavy! Get off,’ she said, but the only response was more moaning. She was aware of an odd pressure, and then a sudden sharp pain. ‘Stop it!’ She batted against his arms with both hands. ‘You’re hurting me! Stop it, Davie!’
David’s voice came oddly thick to her ears. ‘I can’t,’ he moaned. ‘I can’t stop!’
*
It took David some time to show any reaction to the fact that he was being hit quite hard. He had rolled onto his back, and Beth was crouched over him, punching him without any real skill, but with more strength than her size might have suggested.
‘I told you to stop!’ she shrieked. ‘You hurt me!’
David blinked stupidly and said nothing, which maddened Beth all the more. She redoubled her efforts, and he recovered the power of speech.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ He took her hands in his, forestalling her next attempt to hit him. ‘I didn’t mean to.’
Beth snatched her hands from his grasp and turned her back on him. She looked at herself under the blankets. ‘There’s blood! You’ve made me bleed!’
David sat up quickly. ‘How did I do that?’ He made to lift the edge of the blankets and look, but Beth slapped his hand away.
‘You leave me alone! You’re horrible!’ She swung her hand at him. It made a loud thwack as her palm connected with his face.
David made no attempt to hinder the slap, nor the one that followed it. He waited till Beth paused for a moment to catch her breath, then he took her hands and held them too tightly for her to pull away.
‘I’m really sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to do that. It just sort of happened. How sore is it? Is it really bad?’
The shock was beginning to subside. ‘Not really—it’s almost come right. And there’s only a little bit of blood. But why didn’t you stop when I told you to?’
‘I tried to, honestly I did. But I couldn’t seem to help it.’ He cautiously slipped his arm around her, and she allowed him to guide her head onto his shoulder. ‘It’ll be all right, don’t worry. I’ll marry you, Beth.’
‘Well, of course we’re going to get married!’ Beth said, almost without thinking.
David looked startled. ‘Oh. I didn’t know that. I mean, I want to and all, but… when did you decide that?’
Beth frowned in thought. ‘I think I’ve always known. I never exactly thought about it, I just knew we’d get married one day.’
‘Well, I’m glad you finally told me,’ David said, grinning. He gave her a squeeze. ‘Come on, get up on the couch and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
He helped Beth upright, then onto the couch with her feet up. He placed a cushion behind her head and tucked one of the blankets around her before going off to the kitchen with the other blanket wrapped around his waist.
David was soon back with their tea things and a plate of biscuits, which he put on an upturned box. He sat on the floor in front of the couch. ‘I didn’t eat all the biscuits this time,’ he said proudly. ‘I didn’t find these ones till this morning.’
He took a biscuit and devoured it in two bites. ‘So when do you reckon we should get married?’
‘As soon as we can. Davie,’ Beth said anxiously, ‘do you think they’ll let us? Ma and Pa, I mean. Aunt Amy too—I suppose she’ll have to sign the paper to say you’re allowed.’
‘Why? Do you think they mightn’t want us to?’
‘Well, they might think we’re a bit young. They might let us get engaged—I’ll be seventeen in November, and Maudie was allowed to get engaged when she was seventeen. I think she would’ve been allowed before then, come to that, if Richard had got on with it. They were meant to wait till she was eighteen to get married, but they talked Ma around. But you’re only eighteen, they might think that’s too young for a boy. Richard was nearly thirty, and he was—’ She caught herself just in time to bite back the word “rich”. ‘He was sort of… settled.’
‘I’m settled, too. I’ve got my own farm.’
‘I know, but it’s not…’ She trailed off, reluctant to risk hurting him. David might have his own farm, and she knew he worked hard on it, but it was far smaller than her father’s, and she had seen for herself how rundown its buildings were, and the low quality of his stock. ‘Well, we’ll just have to ask, and hope for the best.’
She could see that she had made him anxious, too. ‘Do you think we should tell them about this?’ he asked, waving his hand vaguely in a motion that seemed meant to take in the rug, the blankets, and all that had happened there. ‘They’d have to let us then.’
‘No!’ Beth said, horrified at the thought. ‘Ma would give me the worst hiding there’s ever been! Maudie used to get hidings just for giving her cheek—I hate to think what I’d get for this lot.’
‘It was my fault, really,’ David said, but Beth shook her head.
‘No, it was both of us. It wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t been doing all that cuddling and stuff.’
‘I’d just as soon not tell Ma, either,’ David admitted. ‘She wouldn’t go crook or anything, but… you know.’
‘I know.’ It was hard enough for Beth to imagine discussing such things with her aunt, who always seemed serenely above anything improper; she knew that for David it would be far worse.
They both fell silent, mulling over the problem. ‘So you reckon they might make us wait till you’re eighteen before we can get married? That’s a long time, Beth.’
‘Mmm. And after Aunt Amy gets home, we won’t be able to see each other nearly as much.’ They exchanged a glance. ‘No cuddles or anything then.’
After another long pause, David said, ‘She won’t be home for a while yet.’
‘That’s true.’ Beth let her hand rest on his shoulder for a moment before taking a biscuit.
David was looking down at his hands. ‘A year and a half,’ he said quietly.
‘What?’
‘A year and a half till you’re eighteen. Till we can get married.’
‘I know. It seems like ages.’
‘Beth,’ he said after a moment, ‘do you think it’d hurt you like that every time?’
‘You needn’t think I’m letting you do that again till we’re married!’
‘No, I know—I meant when we get married.’
Beth considered the question. ‘I don’
t think so. Not from what Maudie said.’ She smiled. ‘Maudie was funny when she first got married—she’d keep saying she couldn’t talk about stuff because I wasn’t married, then she’d get annoyed when I said I didn’t care if she did or not. So she’d say little bits just to try and get me interested. I think I know what some of them meant now,’ she mused. ‘Anyway, she said something about Ma had told her not to worry, it was all right after the first time. I think she must have meant about it hurting—maybe it’s only the first time it hurts.’
‘That’s good. I wouldn’t want to hurt you. I want to look after you.’
‘I know you do, Davie.’
David took another biscuit, then seemed to forget he was holding it. ‘A year and a half,’ she heard him murmur.
Beth studied his face as he stared at the far wall. His wistful expression gave her heart a wrench. She stroked his hair, and turned away to hide her own expression. She could not have put into words the thoughts that were running through her mind.
9
Sarah opened the morning mail, glancing at each item and setting it to one side until she came to an envelope that contained a thin piece of card. She propped the card against her tea cup and turned to Amy, her eyes alight.
‘What a stroke of luck—we’ve been invited out on Wanderer. That’s Mr Dewar’s yacht—he’s a partner at the firm that looks after my business affairs. He wouldn’t usually take it out at this time of year, but the weather’s so glorious that he’s decided to dust it off. I’m so glad this has happened while you’re here. I expect you’ve never been sailing before?’
‘Sailing?’ Amy echoed. ‘You want us to go out on a boat?’
‘That’s the usual method, yes. What did you think I meant?’
‘It’s just… well, I’d never really thought about going on a boat for fun. I’m not very good on boats.’
‘Oh, it’s not like those nasty little steamers. I get ill on them myself. Goodness, I wouldn’t drag you out on one of those for a treat. Sailing’s completely different. You’ll love it, Amy!’
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