“’Tis not impossible, I daresay, especially if he loves you.” Aunt Gardiner sat beside her on the bed. “Did you find him truthful?”
Her aunt and uncle had long been aware of Elizabeth’s gift to detect lies, and she readily admitted that she had observed no deception in Darcy.
Aunt Gardiner gently patted her hand. “You know I used to live near Pemberley. I remember how Fitzwilliam Darcy had been described as a proud, ill-natured boy.”
Elizabeth instantly took umbrage to this faulty characterization. “He is nothing of the sort, Aunt. He may be proud, but he can be perfectly charming when he wants to be.”
Smiling broadly, her aunt wrapped an arm around Elizabeth’s shoulder. “You must still harbour affection for him if you are defending him. Your mother believes he is likewise smitten.”
Elizabeth cringed, recalling his references to her inferiority. “He may well be smitten with me, but not with my circumstances or connections,” she said with a huff. “To him, I am Miss Nobody from nowhere special.”
“Well, of course, he never should have mentioned the difference in your stations, and I am sure he is sorry for it now, but he loves you, my dear Lizzy, and that is not something to ignore.”
Elizabeth wondered why everyone insisted that Darcy’s selfish regard was in any way desirable. “How can I make you understand when my uncle has always treated you as if you were royalty?”
“While that is true, I do understand,” Aunt Gardiner said with a sympathetic smile. “Perhaps a change of scenery is what you need. Come back to London with us next week. It will give you some relief from the daily stresses of home.”
Elizabeth heaved a great sigh; her only source of stress was her mother’s endless harping about how she had let Darcy slip through her fingers.
“The children will keep you entertained with their antics.”
While her aunt’s offer tempted Elizabeth, she hesitated. “I should not want to run into Mr Darcy.”
“I doubt you shall. You have little chance of meeting him in our little part of the city.”
Given this assurance, Elizabeth gladly accepted her aunt’s invitation. Perhaps a brief respite from the comforts of home was exactly what she needed to restore her spirits and give her a new outlook on life.
Once Mrs Bennet learned of the scheme, she heartily agreed to it. “That is exactly what you should do, Lizzy. You are bound to see Mr Darcy in town, and you can resolve your differences. ’Tis merely a lover’s quarrel, after all.”
Yes, of course, Elizabeth thought. The man who loved her also abhorred her mother’s lack of propriety. What could be easier to resolve?
***
Christmas Day dawned cold and breezy, but Longbourn remained warm and festive as the yule log burned in the hearth. Elizabeth spent the morning playing word games and spillikins with her energetic cousins. Although glad for the distraction, she could not prevent thoughts of Darcy from creeping into her mind. He was most likely spending the day with his family—the people who would have opposed his match with a woman of meagre consequence. How fortunate for him that he would suffer no disapproval from them today.
Mr and Mrs Stuart Phillips arrived to celebrate the holiday with the Bennets and Gardiners. With the addition of her sister and brother-in-law, Mrs Bennet now had her entire extended family under her roof. Although somewhat boisterous and prone to gossip, Elizabeth loved her aunt Phillips for her kindness and compassion. As an added benefit, her aunt was the best source of information from Meryton. “We have had wonderful news, have we not, Stuart?” Mrs Phillips said with a merry lilt in her voice.
Mr Phillips chuckled merrily. “Indeed, my dear. Colonel Forster advised us that Mr Wickham has joined the regulars in Sussex. He will not trouble us again.”
Although Elizabeth could scarcely believe that Wickham had gone away, she reasoned that if the message had come from the colonel, it must be true.
Mrs Bennet poured tea for her guests. “How extraordinary. ’Tis just the news we needed today. My girls will be happy for it, I daresay.”
Kitty brightened at this. “May I leave the house again, Papa?”
“We shall discuss it later, Catherine,” Mr Bennet said, calling her by the name he used only when he was cross with her.
An awkward silence ensued until Aunt Gardiner spoke. “Your ankle is not yet fully healed, Kitty. Surely, you would not wish to reinjure yourself,” she said with a sympathetic smile.
Mr Bennet raised his brows. “I believe we have Mr Darcy to thank for this bit of news, Lizzy.” When she cast doubtful eyes at her father, he continued. “He assured me he would remove Wickham from the area, and I believe him to be a man of his word.”
Yes, he is a man of his word. He despises the Bennet family and thinks I am beneath him.
Although Elizabeth doubted Darcy had anything to do with Wickham’s decision to join the regulars, she could not be sorry that he had left the community. Now that the threat he posed was finally gone, the ladies in the neighbourhood need have no fear of encountering him. Kitty and Lydia would be released from their restrictions, and once the weather improved, Elizabeth would be permitted to take her solitary walks again. Hopefully, Colonel Forster had better control of his other men and none would take up Wickham’s lifestyle.
This, of course, did nothing to relieve her broken heart. Darcy was still gone, and while she may have been too impulsive in refusing him, she could not regret speaking her mind. She had every right to expect a proper proposal from her intended. A man ought not insult the woman he loves and expect her to reward him by accepting his hand. Then again, she imagined that he probably regretted addressing a woman with such wild manners. Perhaps she was not as astute as she supposed. Should she not have convinced him of his error and persuaded him to beg her forgiveness for offending her? I might yet convince him, she thought, then laughed at her own presumptions. No reasonable man would thank a woman for rejecting his offer by making a second.
***
After attending Christmas service with their aunt, uncle, and cousin, Darcy and Georgiana spent the rest of the day at Matlock House. They enjoyed a sumptuous feast and the traditional presentation of the flaming Christmas pudding. When the ladies removed to the drawing room after the meal, Lady Matlock reminded the men not to linger over their drinks too long; she and Georgiana looked forward to singing traditional hymns that evening.
“What is this I am hearing about a woman in Hertfordshire?” Unlike Lord Matlock’s earlier cheerfulness, his voice held a note of apprehension.
Darcy steeled himself for his uncle’s rebuke. “Her name is Elizabeth Bennet.”
A crease formed in the earl’s forehead. “Do I know her father?”
“Most likely not.”
The earl drew on his cigar and blew a puff of smoke up to the ceiling. “You remember, of course, your duty to the family.”
Darcy did not fail to notice that his uncle had not posed this edict as a question. “I have not forgotten,” he said, directly meeting his uncle’s disapproving gaze.
“You cannot be seriously considering a woman with no connections to the family.”
“She rejected my suit.”
His lordship sat bolt upright in his chair. “You have already addressed her?”
Darcy downed his glass of port in one swallow, and his cousin swiftly refilled it. “Darcy never cared for the ladies of the ton, Father,” Richard said. “Many have tried to gain his notice, but Miss Elizabeth is the only one who has ever succeeded.”
“She is a fool for rejecting you, Darcy, but you are lucky to have escaped that snare,” his uncle said with an air of disdain.
“I have no desire to escape her.”
The earl cast disbelieving eyes at him. “Talk some sense into him, Richard.”
“I fear I must side with Darcy on this. He knows his own mind and is well able to choose his own wife,” Richard said without a moment’s hesitation, for which Darcy would be eternally grateful.
; The earl merely scoffed. “What about your cousin Anne? She and Catherine are waiting for you to come to the point. Will you disregard your family’s wishes?”
“I love my cousin, but I shall not be forced to marry her,” Darcy said, undeterred by his uncle’s angry scowl.
This response prompted an irritable grumble from the earl. “You realise that you will bring Catherine to my door if you defy her.”
Darcy wondered if the earl actually agreed with Lady Catherine’s outrageous marriage scheme, or merely supported her to avoid her wrath. Now defiant, Darcy refused to relent. “Tell me, Uncle, was your marriage arranged?” he inquired, already knowing from his many stories that theirs had been a love match.
The fire disappeared from the earl’s eyes, and he relaxed his shoulders. “Don’t blame me for your aunt’s hairbrained schemes.”
Richard refilled his father’s wineglass. “Aunt Catherine only seeks to advance her own consequences, Father. Claiming Darcy and Pemberley would be her greatest triumph.”
“Yes, I daresay Catherine wanted George Darcy for herself, but she lost him to our sister Anne. Securing Pemberley would settle that score.”
Although his uncle confirmed what Darcy had already suspected, his aunt’s motives were of no concern to him. “There is no use discussing impossible scenarios, Uncle. I will never marry my cousin.”
The earl released one last smoke puff from his cigar, then crushed it into the ashtray. “What will you do about the Bennet woman?”
“Beg her to reconsider.” In all honesty, if he did not return to Longbourn to see Elizabeth soon, he might go mad.
“You ought not to debase yourself, Darcy. She has already refused you once.”
“I did not conduct myself well,” he said, shifting in his chair. “She objected to my address.”
Richard and his father exchanged glances, then the earl drained his glass. “I suppose you already have him well in hand,” he said to Richard.
“Of course.”
“Let us not keep your aunt and Georgiana waiting,” he said, then rose and headed for the drawing room.
As they followed, Darcy clapped Richard on the back in silent thanks for his assistance. With half the battle now won, all that remained was to secure Elizabeth’s forgiveness and her hand. Although receiving the earl’s acceptance had not been as difficult as he had feared, he knew his next endeavour would be far more challenging.
***
Two days after Christmas, the mood at Longbourn remained festive, without a trace of discord. Elizabeth’s cousins revelled in their new toys and, with the promise of more sugarplums and shortcake, behaved admirably. Kitty and Lydia conducted themselves well, knowing they would soon be permitted to visit the neighbours. Longbourn’s dining parlour was filled to overflowing with the addition of the Lucas family at supper that evening.
Charlotte beamed as her wedding day approached. The happy day was to be the ninth of January, and while Elizabeth wanted to support her dearest friend, despite her disapproval of the groom, she had no desire to attend the festivities. “Charlotte, my aunt has invited me to return to London with her on Monday. Will you be terribly disappointed if I am not here for your wedding?”
Charlotte offered a sympathetic smile. “Not at all, Eliza, I know how you suffer. You would do well with a change of scene.”
“Yes, I daresay I shall. Still, I wish you every happiness.” Elizabeth embraced her dear friend, grateful for her understanding.
“Will you come to Kent with my father and Maria?”
“I doubt that would please Mr Collins. We did not part on the best of terms.”
Charlotte dismissed her fears with a wave of her hand. “That is all forgotten now. He will make no objection since it is my particular wish.”
“Then I will come.” Although she had no desire to stay under her cousin’s roof, Charlotte’s friendship was dearer to Elizabeth than her disgust of Mr Collins. Elizabeth believed that some time away from home, in a less stressful setting, would give her a new perspective on life.
***
Elizabeth, please!
Darcy’s appeal had no effect on his beloved. She turned her back and walked away.
The weight crushing Darcy’s heart startled him awake. He had had similar dreams these past few nights; each time, Elizabeth refused to speak to him and walked away. In the dim light of his chamber, he wondered if this recurring dream was an omen. Would Elizabeth refuse him a second time?
The hall clock chimed three times: three o’clock Sunday morning. Groaning, he raked his fingers through his hair and rose from his bed to add another log to the fire. He vividly recalled watching Elizabeth walk away several times during their short acquaintance: the day she left Netherfield after Jane’s recovery, after a night of dancing at the ball, that sun-drenched morning at Oakham Mount, and that wretched morning in the Longbourn library. However, that last time, she had been so desperate to get away from him, she’d run away.
Her rebuke rang in his ears: I could not bear to be continuously indebted to you for improving my standing. How could he have been so dense? Claiming to love a woman, while openly demeaning her and her family, must be the most selfish, arrogant thing he had ever done. He treated his servants with more kindness than the woman he intended to marry.
He must not fail again—to do so would doom him to a life without her, which would be unfathomable. What’s more, until he had secured Elizabeth’s forgiveness, he would never sleep peacefully again.
***
After bidding her family goodbye on Monday, Elizabeth left Longbourn with the Gardiners. Her uncle relinquished his seat to her and rode with the driver. The wind had a bitter chill, but with hot bricks at her feet and a cosy rug over her legs, she stayed warm. Elizabeth marvelled at her aunt’s ability to keep her four young children occupied during the trip. Mrs Gardiner pointed out interesting vistas as they passed by, keeping them entertained. Eager to display their skills, the children used their slates to write their names, the alphabet, and draw pictures of horses, dogs, bridges, and birds.
They stopped to change horses and drink hot tea, then set out again for the final hour of the trip. Once again, her aunt kept the children occupied, but as they approached the outskirts of London, Elizabeth’s mind began to wander. She had made this trip many times in the past, but that was before she had met Darcy. Knowing he had travelled these same streets on his way home, she wondered if he had ever noticed the great white oak at the crossroad or the little cottage tucked behind a row of pine trees. Had that mail-coach driver ever passed by him on his daily rounds? Where was he now? Was he at home or out making morning calls?
Elizabeth was so distracted, she did not notice when they turned onto Gracechurch Street; however, as they came to a stop in front of the Gardiner residence, she came to her senses, helped her cousins into the house, and escorted them upstairs to the nursery. Once the children were settled, Aunt Gardiner showed her to her guest chamber and left her alone to refresh herself after the two-hour journey.
Her thoughts quickly returned to Darcy. Did he ever pass through this part of London? With its rows of warehouses and humble residences, she rather thought not. If he did have business in this neighbourhood, it was far more likely that he sent someone to make the arrangements. Then she wondered how far away he might be—perhaps only one or two miles. She did not know his direction but assumed he lived in one of the exclusive sections of town, like Mayfair or St. James. However, she took comfort knowing he was not far away.
She then chided herself for being so frivolous. It made no difference if Darcy was on the other side of town or in another part of the world; she had no hope of ever meeting him again. Besides, she was far better off here with her aunt than at Longbourn. She reminded herself of her mother’s constant harangues for the past sennight. No one under this roof would fault her for rejecting an advantageous offer or letting a handsome suitor slip through her fingers. Instead of dwelling on her losses, she ought to take advanta
ge of this opportunity to rid her mind of the past and enjoy the company of her supportive aunt, attentive uncle, and delightful cousins. Determined to do just that, she changed her dress, tidied her hair, and left her chamber, vowing to show her appreciation by being a beacon of optimism rather than a melancholy burden.
***
Wednesday, 1 January 1812
Awakened by birdsong, Elizabeth peeked through the bed drapes and watched the pale sunlight creep into her chamber. After the sun had risen, she longed to walk out, just as she had done at Longbourn; but here in the city, walking without a companion would be considered unseemly. Now she doubted she would ever have such freedom again.
Last night at midnight, she had welcomed in the year 1812 with her aunt and uncle, drinking a toast to “Auld Lang Syne” and singing the traditional song. On such a festive evening, she could not allow her family to witness her sorrow. Despite her best attempts to keep Darcy from her thoughts, auld acquaintances could not be forgotten and were frequently brought to mind.
However, New Year’s Day was a day of new beginnings. A time to look forward to the future and new possibilities. With the old year now finished, regrets and mistakes could be relegated to the past where they belonged. This year shall not be marred by sadness and loss. Only happiness and hope shall prevail.
No longer would she mourn the loss of a man who disparaged her and her family. Despite Darcy’s claims of ardent love, he had allowed his pride to come between them. But then again, her own stubborn refusal to accept the truth of his statements also separated them. Should she not share some portion of the blame for her present circumstances? Returning to her bed, she drew the drapes to block out the sun.
Was her mother right about never receiving an offer from another man? Was she doomed to live a loveless life as a spinster, obliged to rely on the kindness of her relations? Certainly, Charles Bingley could not have anticipated maintaining her for the rest of his life when he fell in love with Jane. How miserable for Charles and Jane to be burdened with an unmarriageable sister.
Her self-recriminations were interrupted when her door creaked open, followed by whispered voices. “Be quiet. Mama says we must not wake Lizzy.”
A Certain Something Page 18
