CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Alexis and Tim stayed behind at the party that had now turned into a somber event. Tim spoke with Dan and she offered her assistance to the staff. Because the celebration abruptly ended, she made an announcement thanking the guests for coming and apologized on Tami’s behalf. It was the one thing she could do for her friend who was humiliated in front of her friends and colleagues. Everyone was in shock over the events that unfolded, but none more than Alexis. There was only one person who could have been behind that disturbing video and Alexis underestimated her. She never thought Ramona would go that far with her vendetta. Sadly, her best friend believed it was her, and she’s devastated.
Alexis wiped her tears that had fallen on her cheeks. “Tim, I need you to take me to Tami. I have to convince her I wasn’t responsible for that video.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. She and her husband need time to sort through what happened before you plead your case,” said Tim.
“You know who’s behind this, right?”
“It was absolutely Ramona’s handy work.”
“Do you think she’s done or will she continue to torture Tami?”
“With that sociopath, you never know,” said Tim.
Alexis smoked two cigarettes before she had Tim take her home. Once there she tried to go to sleep, but she couldn’t. She kept playing what happened at the party over and over in her mind. She couldn’t rest until she straightened this mess out. She got out of her bed, and left for Tami’s house. One way or another, she will convince her that there is one person responsible for what happened and it’s not her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
“Josh! Josh!” Tami yelled as she chased behind her husband into the house. When they left the hotel, he refused to ride home with her, he took a cab instead. She followed the cab, unsure if he was headed home. She was desperate to explain herself and tell him the truth about everything. Once they arrived home Josh jumped out of the cab and sprinted towards the house. She found him stuffing a duffel bag with clothes. “What are you doing?” she asked entering the bedroom. Josh was rushing throughout the room clearing out his dresser drawers, ignoring her. “Josh stop this!” she said grabbing the handle of his bag to prevent him from adding anything else. “Give me the bag, Tami. I can't be here with you.”
After a brief hesitation, she released her grip. “You can’t leave before we talk this out,” she said, sitting on the edge of their bed.
“I have nothing to say to you!”
“I’m sorry, Josh.” She nervously bit down on her lower lip as she watched him continue to stuff his bag with clothing. Her thoughts turn to ways of how to prevent him from leaving. The worst thing he could do was walk out before they fixed what she has broken. He closed the zipper of his duffel bag and lifted it from the bed. His face was red with anger and his eyes looked everywhere except at her. He walked towards the door and abruptly turned around. “I don’t want your apologies. Just answer one question.”
“I’ll tell you whatever you need to know,” she whimpered.
“When did you abort our child?” he asked, his voice cracking.
Tami tilted her head downward and stared at the grooves on the hardwood floor. Hearing the hurt in his voice brought tears to her eyes. She reluctantly gathered the courage to tell her husband about a time she preferred to remain forgotten. “It was a little over a year into our marriage. But, you must understand the circumstances that led to that decision. I was scared and fear embedded my every thought. I felt I had no choice.”
“Tami, you unilaterally ended the life of our baby. One I knew nothing of!” He threw his duffel bag to the ground and moved closer to her. “Did you do it for your career? That’s all you ever cared about!” He leaned forward towards her right ear. “What about me?!” he yelled. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Tami swallowed hard. Never had she seen Josh this angry. “It was partly about my career. If you would calm down, I can explain my actions to you,” she wept.
“Did the procedure go wrong? Is that the reason you can’t get pregnant now?” He asked, walking back and forth running his fingers through his hair.
“What?! No! Stop pacing and listen. I’ll be completely honest about it all.” Josh sat in a chair in the sitting area of their bedroom. He avoided looking in her direction, he instead kept his gaze downward. “We were a year into our marriage and both focused on our careers. Neither one of us had a baby on our radar. But, I became pregnant, and I was frightened to tell you. So, I instead begged Michael to help me. He refused. As a last resort, I threatened to cut off my contributions, and he gave it a second thought.” Tami grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and wiped her eyes. “I know it was an awful way to treat a friend. But, I was desperate. He voiced his concerns about the procedure, but I didn’t listen.”
“I really don’t care how you forced your doctor friend to kill my unborn child. All I need to know is why. Why did you do it?”
“It scared me to tell you the truth, and I didn’t know how you would react to the news I was carrying a baby. After Michael gave me medication to halt the pregnancy, I left to attend a company training session out of town. It was my way of keeping my distance until I was ready to face you. When I returned two weeks later, you suddenly were talking about babies and expanding our family.”
“I remember. I said I wanted to discuss kids and you burst into tears. You claim you weren’t ready. Little did I know you had already carried our child and…” He walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Tami followed and when she opened the door, Josh was on the floor with his face buried in the palm of his hands. She watched him from the doorway, not knowing if she should continue and tell the horrific part of the story or give him space.
“You never answered my question,” he said looking up at her. “Was there a complication?”
“I understand why you would think that. But, there was no complication. We haven’t conceived because I’m on birth control.”
Josh remained silent. Tami knew she was witnessing the end of her marriage. What she’s done was unforgivable and has cost her the best man she has ever known. Josh sat almost stoic as tears streamed down his face. He was destroyed, and she’s responsible.
She knelt beside her husband and searched for the right words to say to him. “Josh, I know you will never forgive me. I had to be completely honest with you. I owe you that. But, there’s one more piece to this that you need to know.” Tami inhaled sharply as she struggled to continue. She nervously wrung her hands and rocked back and forth. “I didn’t abort your baby. It wasn’t ours.”
“What do you mean it wasn’t ours? You had an affair?”
“No, I would never do that. I experienced something horrific that I never wanted you to know.” Tami felt a wave of nausea hit her stomach like a punch in the gut. She placed her hand over her mouth and bolted towards the toilet. Her nerves were getting the best of her and Josh was losing patience.
“Just spit it out! If it wasn’t my child, whose was it?”
Tami silently move passed her husband and rinse her mouth with mouthwash. In her mind, she was trying to come up with the right way to tell him. She ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She didn’t want the words to pass her lips. It was a secret, placed deep in the crevice of her mind. Josh was right on her heels, yelling for her to tell him whose child it was. He placed a hand on each of her shoulders, whipping her around. She looked him in his eyes and she opened her mouth to speak. But, she couldn't form the words. Josh narrowed his eyes and the corner of mouth turned upward into a sneer. “I'm done with you!”
Before he could walk away she screamed. “I was raped!”
She waited for him to say something. Anything. Instead, he stared at her. She reached her hand out towards him but he backed away. “Where is she, Tami? Where is the woman I fell in love with and married?”
“I’m standing right in front of you,” she cried. “I�
�m right here.”
Josh shook his head no. “The person I love is gone and what’s left is a deeply disturbed liar. A liar who only cares about her career. You never loved or respected me, you were never devoted to us, and we were never a team. If any of that weren’t true you would have told me you were pregnant, you would have told me you were scared to become a mom, you would have told me you wanted to go on birth control. You would have talked to me. Instead, you lied, schemed, and connived your way through our marriage. Now you expect me to believe someone raped you. That’s pathetic. You’re right I will never forgive you and our marriage is over.”
“Josh, please listen! I’m telling you the truth,” she said pulling on his shirt to prevent him from leaving. “I’m not sure if you remember this but right after we returned from our honeymoon my job transferred me to another department.”
“Vaguely.”
“Well, Dennis Rothenberg, requested that I join his team. In the beginning, it was flattering to be recognized by someone on the executive team.”
“Tami, what does this person have to do with anything?” he asked, impatiently.
“Everything. He didn’t turn out to be the dream boss like I thought. Instead, he took every opportunity to call me into his office and request I stay late to work on special projects. I agreed because I couldn’t say no. During those meetings, he would ask me about my marriage. Was I happy? Would I ever consider cheating on you? It made me uncomfortable, but I answered his questions in a way I didn’t think it would offend him. Although, I was the one uncomfortable my thoughts were only about his comfort. He was my boss after all. Soon after, his questions then escalated to touching. He would touch my hair, brush up against me, rest his hand on my shoulder and let it slide down to touch my breast.” Tami tried to read Josh’s lack of emotion for any hint of softening. He still wore the same stoic look on his face. “I don’t know if you recall but I had to attend a business conference in Boston with our entire team. Well, the last night of the conference I had dinner with the group, including Dennis. We ate and had drinks afterward. I had one glass of wine with the group and next thing I knew it was only Dennis and me left at the table. Because I was uncomfortable being alone with him, I tried to excuse myself. But, he insisted we had one drink together. I didn’t want to but didn’t see the harm.” Tami continued to watch Josh’s face, but he continued to show no emotion. “Dennis ordered me another glass of white wine and I promise you, Josh, I only remember taking one or maybe two sips from the glass.”
He rubbed his forehead with a look of frustration. “So, what are you saying? You got drunk and slept with him!”
“No! My last memory is drinking the wine he bought before waking up naked in my hotel room,” she cried. She wiped her tears away from her eyes before continuing. “I woke naked and confused, alone in my hotel room. I couldn’t remember how I got there. So, I showered and could tell something happened. After I dressed, I packed my bags. I was frantic and wanted to return home right away. But, he came to my room before I could leave. Dennis was at my door with a grin on his face. He said he would keep what happened between us a secret but there was nothing to be ashamed of because it was consensual. I told him that was a lie, and that he raped me. He threatened me and boasted that he had connections in the financial industry. If I opened my mouth to anyone, he would ruin my career. He made sure I understood his reach was long and wide.”
Josh’s face appeared to soften like he believed her. That gave Tami a slither of hope he would eventually forgive her. As he listened, he didn’t meet her eyes once. But, he moved closer to her as she sat on the edge of the bed and allow his hand to brush against her. She accepted it as a tiny form of comfort. “If any of what you say is true, why didn’t you report him?”
It was the same question she asked herself a thousand times. “There were several reasons. First, I was afraid and ashamed I allowed any of it to happened. I had to return to work, and it was business as usual. Also, I hadn’t worked there long and Dennis was well respected. I knew it would’ve been my word against his. A month later, he left the company. I didn’t know why or cared. I was more relieved than anything until four weeks later when I found out I was pregnant.”
Josh stood and picked up his bag. “I don’t want to hear any more of this.”
“Do you remember you noticed that I'd become sick? I covered by telling you I was dealing with a stomach bug. I didn't want to risk you learning the truth and or a reminder of what happened. How could I ask you to raise a child of the man who violated me? I made the only choice I could and ended the pregnancy.”
“How do you know for sure it wasn’t mines?”
Tami shrugged her shoulders. “Timing and we weren't active because of your schedule.”
“I wished you would have trusted me enough to be honest. No man wants to hear a low-life drugged and assaulted their wife. It would’ve been hard to digest but you know the man I am. I would have raised that child like it was my own. You know this, but you chose to lie. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me enough with the truth.”
Josh walked out leaving Tami distraught and heartbroken. The ground beneath her seemed to disappear as she fell onto the floor. A river of tears flowed from her eyes as she screamed out his name. Her mother's nurse walked into the room to help.
“Is there anything I can do or get for you Mrs. Hamilton?” the nurse asked. Tami shook her head no. “I can stay a while longer if you like. Your mother is sleep and I’m sure she’ll be for the rest of night. So, I can stay.”
“Thank you, I’ll be okay. Give me a moment to splash cold water on my face and I will walk you out.” Tami shut the bathroom door behind her. She turned the cold water faucet on and let it run as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The black eyeliner and mascara she wore had smeared and ran down her cheek. She splashed her face three times with the cold water and retrieved a small black hand towel and wiped the smudges away. She quickly changed out of her dress and put on a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Once she exited the bathroom, Tami walked the nurse to the front door. To her surprise, Alexis was standing on the porch with her phone to her ear. She said goodbye to the nurse and shut the door in Alexis’ face. Tami stood behind the closed door as she listened to Alexis banging and demands to let her in to talk. “You have five minutes to explain yourself,” she said allowing Alexis to come in.
She wasted no time stating her case. “I drove all the way over here to beg you to believe me when I say I had nothing to do with that awful video. I would never do anything like that.”
“You were the only person who knew. The only one I confided in. You kept begging me to be honest with Josh. Who had more motive than you?”
“Ramona.”
Tami closed her eyes briefly as she shook her head. “Ramona? Really Alexis? I don't want to go there with you. I don't have the strength to deal with your jealousy,” she snapped. She was emotionally spent. The love of her life just walked out on her and she doesn’t know what to do next. If only she had been honest with him from the onset. She wished she had told him about Dennis, the birth control, everything, including the letters. Tami thought more about the letters and glanced in Alexis’ direction. She thought about the timing and how they appeared after Alexis told her to tell Josh the truth. “You bitch!! It was you this whole time!”
“What are talking about?” she asked, appearing frightened by Tami’s sudden anger.
“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You sent those letters threatening me to tell some mysterious truth.”
“You were the one who mentioned them to me. I knew nothing about them,” she pleaded.
“So, when your threats didn’t work. I guess you upped the ante by humiliating me and my husband. I trusted you! Get out of my house!” Tami walked over to the door and held it open. “Get out! Now!”
“I won’t leave until you listen to what I have to say. Close the door and look at me. Look at my face,” said Alexis who was now c
rying. “I promise I didn’t do it. I swear on the life of everyone I hold dear it wasn’t me. I would never cause this kind of hurt on you or Josh. I love you guys.” Tami looked at the woman who has been by her side through everything, she could see in her eyes she was being truthful. Tami loosened her grip on the doorknob of the front door and walked over and hugged her friend. Both held on tightly and cried in each other arms. After a few moments, they sat on the couch together. They remained quiet in their own private thoughts. Tami believed Alexis but if it wasn’t her, then who? It couldn’t have been Ramona, she doesn’t know Dr. Pennington and what he had done for her. “I’m sorry for accusing you, Alexis. Our relationship has been strained and you seem to be the obvious person to blame.”
“I forgive you.” Alexis scooted closer and held out her arms to give Tami another hug. “Do you want to tell me what happened with Josh?”
“Sure, let me grab a bottle of wine first.” Tami retrieved a chilled bottle of Chardonnay and two wine glasses. When she returned to the living room, she placed each glasson the table, filling each halfway. She took several sips before speaking. “I told him what Dennis had done, but he can’t go over the lies. My marriage is over. You warned me when you said he wouldn’t forgive me. He believes I never loved him or was devoted to our marriage. He will never get past the lies, the abortion or the birth control.”
“You told him about the birth control?”
“I told him everything. He said our marriage was over, he packed a bag and left.”
Alexis told her she needed to give Josh time and that he would be back. Tami wasn’t sure if her friend actually believed what she said or if it was an attempt to put a positive spin on the whole mess. Tami didn’t say another word for the rest of the night as Alexis sat quietly by her side.
Shattered Lives (The Shattered Series Book 1) Page 19
