How to Play: Have you ever shot a rubber band like a gun? Make your hand into a pistol—curl your pinkie around the rubber band, then stretch the rubber band around the back of your thumb and over the tip of your index finger. Hold the pistol square in the center of your chest, lean back as far as you can, and when you’re ready to shoot, release your pinkie. Aim for the pins—try to knock them all down.
TRASH CAN FRISBEE
What You Need: A wastepaper basket and some paper plates. If the wastepaper basket isn’t big enough to hold the paper plates, use a cardboard box or a paper shopping bag. Place the basket on the bathroom floor as far from the toilet as you can.
How to Play: Fling the paper plates like Frisbees—see if you can throw them into the wastepaper basket. For a bigger challenge, try to ricochet them off a wall into the basket.
BATHROOM DARTS
What You Need: A pie tin, a saucer, a small glass, and small objects you can throw. (Coins or caps from discarded toothpaste tubes work well.)
How to Play: Put the glass in the center of the saucer, and put the saucer in the center of the pie tin. Set them all down on the bathroom floor a few feet from the toilet. That’s your “dart board.”
Napoleon liked to concoct battle plans in a sandbox.
Toss the coins (“darts”) at your target—if they land in the glass, you get 10 points; if they land in the saucer, you get 5; if they land in the pie tin, you get 1. If you score too well, move the target farther away to make it more challenging.
BATHROOM BLOW GUN
What You Need: A soda straw, some wooden matches, and a hat
How to Play: Turn the hat upside down and place it on the bathroom floor a good distance away from the toilet. Put a match in the straw, hold the straw up to your mouth, and blow. Try to shoot all the matches into the hat.
FUN WITH A FUNNEL
What You Need: A rubber ball and a funnel. The funnel needs to be big enough to hold the ball.
How to Play: Hold the pointy end of the funnel. Bounce the ball off the wall opposite the toilet and try to catch it in the funnel on the rebound.
BATHROOM BOUNCY BALL
What You Need: An egg carton and some Ping-Pong balls.
How to Play: Write different point values in each of the 12 cups of the egg carton, then place it on the bathroom floor a few feet from the toilet.
Try to bounce the Ping-Pong balls into the egg carton. Start with one bounce, then, as your skills improve, move the carton farther away and bounce the balls twice before they go into the cups. Add up the values for your scores.
BATHROOM BROKEN NECK PREVENTER
What You Need: All the stuff you just spread out all over the bathroom floor to play all these games we just taught you.
How to Play: Pick all that stuff up off the bathroom floor—before somebody gets killed!
Don’t wait up: The Milky Way takes about 200,000,000 years to make one revolution.
THE BESTSELLING BOOKS OF ALL TIME
When Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1451, he made it possible for books to be mass-produced. Five centuries later, it’s almost impossible to come up with an accurate list of the top ten bestsellers...but here’s what the experts think. (Check back in a decade—maybe the Bathroom Reader will be on the list!)
#1: The Bible (6 billion copies sold)
Background: The holy text for Christians, the Bible is believed to have been written over a 1,500-year span by at least 40 different people. First published in 1451 (the first book ever printed) it has been translated into more than 2,000 languages. The six billion sales figure includes numerous versions, interpretations, and translations by many different publishers all over the world. And of course it’s just an estimate. Developing nations lack sales tracking technology, and many Bibles are distributed for free. Plus, exact sales figures prior to 1973 don’t exist—the total could be much higher.
#2: Quotations from Chairman Mao (900 million sold)
Background: Known as the “Little Red Book” in the West, this book has been published by the Chinese government since 1966. Selling 900 million copies is no fluke—during the Cultural Revolution (1966–76), all Chinese citizens were required to own a copy. Failing to do so could result in anything from a beating by the military to years in a hard-labor camp. Made up of excerpts from Mao Zedong’s speeches and writings, the book outlines the principles of Chinese socialism and, not coincidentally, glorifies Mao.
#3: The American Spelling Book, by Noah Webster (100 million sold)
Background: First published in 1783, this book actually sold more copies and had more influence than the one Webster is better known for: The American Dictionary of the English Language. The American Spelling Book was the standard grammar textbook and was used universally by 1840. It was also known as the Blue-Black Speller for its distinct two-tone cover. Webster’s novel approach: he broke words down into syllables and emphasized them in stories and fables, which made it easier for students to learn pronunciation and memorize spelling. Between his spelling book and his dictionary, Webster standardized the spellings of hundreds of words.
The word Bible comes from the Greek biblos, meaning “book.”
#4: Guinness Book of World Records (100 million sold)
Background: In 1951 the Guinness brewery hired a London fact-finding agency run by Norris and Ross McWhirter to settle an argument: what was the fastest game bird in Europe? (They said it was the spurwing goose.) They ended up compiling assorted facts, oddities, and achievements for what would become the Guinness Book of Records. First published in August 1955, it became a surprise bestseller by Christmas. Since then, many spin-offs have been released, but the original remains the most popular. It’s the bestselling copyrighted book ever and has been translated into 37 languages.
#5: The World Almanac and Book of Facts (73.5 million sold)
Background: Published annually since 1868, this comprehensive reference book soberly presents page after page of records, lists, and facts on pretty much every subject, including geography, economics, sports, and entertainment. Fun fact: In 1923 Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as U.S. president by his father, a justice of the peace, who read the oath from a copy of The World Almanac.
#6: McGuffey Readers, by William H. McGuffey (60 million sold)
Background: First published in 1836, 80% percent of American schools used McGuffey Readers to teach reading. The publishers claimed that the series sold 120 million copies, but that wouldn’t have mattered to William McGuffey—he earned just $1,000 for his efforts. The McGuffey Readers, along with The American Spelling Book, were the most common schoolbooks in the U.S. in the 19th century; neither is in print today.
#7: The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, by Dr. Benjamin Spock (more than 50 million sold)
Background: Spock’s child-rearing guide was first published in 1946 and became a necessity for generations of parents. It’s the closest thing to a handbook for babies there is. The book was revolutionary: not only was Spock a man giving advice in what was considered a woman’s domain, but he advocated a gentler approach to parenting and opposed spanking children. Despite the enduring popularity of this book and its many offshoots, by 1971 Spock came to feel that he “had gotten it wrong” when it came to giving parenting advice. (Still, not bad for a Vulcan.)
Achoo! Americans will miss more than 3,000,000 days of work each year due to allergies.
#8: A Message to Garcia, by Elbert Hubbard (40 million sold)
Background: It’s barely a book; it’s actually a 1,500-word essay about a Spanish-American War hero. A statement on labor relations, it was written to inspire workers to create a more efficient workplace. Coinciding with the Industrial Revolution in the U.S., A Message to Garcia fiercely extols the virtues of Big Business, which explains how it became a bestseller: companies bought copies by the truckload and gave them away free to employees.
#9: In His Steps: What Would Jesus Do?, by Rev. Charles Monroe Sheldon (More than 30 million sold
)
Background: Sheldon wrote this guide in 1896, advice for Christians on how to apply Jesus’ teachings to everyday decisions. The success of In His Steps led to two lucrative publishing phenomena that are with us to this day: self-help books and religious guidance books. Though still in print, the book isn’t as popular today as it was a century ago, but “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets, posters, T-shirts, bumper stickers, and keychains are.
#10: Valley of the Dolls, by Jacqueline Susann (30 million sold)
Background: A former Broadway starlet, Susann wrote this, her first book, in 1966. It’s the bestselling novel of all time. The loosely autobiographical story follows three actresses desperate for fame in Hollywood as they get caught up in sex, pills, and booze. Susann’s influence is widespread: later bestselling authors like Danielle Steel and Jackie Collins owe her a debt for developing the trashy sex and scandal-laden popular novel.
Some Bestsellers the Experts Might Have Missed:
•Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by J. K. Rowling
•To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
•The Hobbit, by J. R. R. Tolkien
•The Koran
•Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell
•Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger
Scales were invented in the Middle East as early as 4000 B.C.
KUNG FU WISDOM
Serious philosophy or TV gobbledygook? You be the judge. These quotes are from the only Buddhist Western in television history, Kung Fu.
“Man, like the animals, is meant to live in groups. But the meaning of belonging to a group is found in the comfort of silence and solitude.”
—Master Kan
Master Po: Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Master Po: Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?
Caine: Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Master Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?
“No man can see through another’s eyes or hear through his ears, or feel through his fingers.”
—Caine
“Does not tomorrow begin now?”
—Caine
Caine: Do evil demons exist?
Master Kan: Do wars, famine, disease, and death exist? Do lust, greed, and hate exist? They are man’s creations, brought into being by the dark side of his nature.
“Superstition is like a magnet. It pulls you in the direction of your belief.”
—Master Po
“A man feels grief. One who does not fails in his capacity to be a man.”
—Caine
“Learn first how to live. Learn second how not to kill. Learn third how to live with death. Learn fourth how to die.”
—Master Po
Caine: Our bodies are prey to many needs. Hunger, thirst, the need for love. Shall we then seek to satisfy those needs?
Master Kan: Only acknowledge them, and satisfaction will follow. To suppress a truth is to give it force beyond endurance.
“Perfect wisdom is unplanned. Perfect living offers no guarantee of a peaceful death.”
—Master Po
Caine: What is the greatest obligation that we have?
Master Po: To live, Grasshopper. To live!
President James Buchanan once made a living as a prize fighter.
IT’S ART TO SOMEONE
What is art? Almost anything, it seems. We at the BRI wonder: If we don’t appreciate these high-concept “pieces,” are we slobs? (B-u-u-u-u-urp!)
ARTIST: David Lynch
MEDIUM: Cutlery, fiberglass cow
IS IT ART? Lynch, well known as the director of the cult classic film Blue Velvet and the TV show Twin Peaks, was asked to contribute a sculpture for the 2004 Cow Parade in New York City. The parade is a traveling exhibit that gets local artists to decorate fake cows. Lynch’s contribution: a large fiberglass cow with a bloody-looking stump where its head was supposed to be, the head rammed into its back, and forks and knives sticking out of its rump. Written on its side were the words “Eat My Fear.” “They told me I could do anything I liked so long as it wasn’t sexually explicit or X-rated,” Lynch told The Wolf Files. The cow was supposed to be displayed on a city sidewalk, but when officials saw it, they banned it.
ARTISTS: 1157performancegroup
MEDIUM: Corpse
IS IT ART? This experimental English theater group put out an unusual casting call in March 2004: they needed an actor to appear as a dead body—literally. The group hoped to find a terminally ill person who would consent to have their corpse “lie in state” on stage for the entire 24-night run of the show, entitled DEAD...you will be. Having an actual dead body, a spokeswoman said, “is important, we think, to help us to dispel the mysteries that surround death.”
ARTIST: Karl Friedrich Lentze
MEDIUM: Corpse, fish
IS IT ART? The 56-year-old German artist wrote to several zoos around the country asking if he could be fed to piranhas when he died. Günther Nogge, director of the Cologne Zoo, liked the idea, saying that it might be very educational. “But,” he added, “it would be better if you were fed to the piranhas alive—they’re not keen on dead flesh.” Lentze’s counteroffer: Witnesses “could poke my body with sticks to get me moving and get the fish interested.”
Ohio is the only U.S. state whose flag is not rectangular or square.
MORE ART: In 2002 Lentze wrote to Bonn city officials asking permission to be buried with an inflatable sex doll. (Request granted—as long as the doll was biodegradable.) And in 2003 he applied for a license to open a nightclub and brothel for dogs.
ARTIST: Andre Stitt
MEDIUM: Boots, litter
IS IT ART? In 2004 Stitt, an Irish performance artist, announced that his next act would be in Bedford, England. The act: He would walk out of a pub and kick an empty curry carton up and down the street while wearing silver-spangled platform boots. The work, entitled White Trash Curry Kick, is designed to “question the high spirits demonstrated by young people throughout the country on Saturday nights.” The real kicker: He got the East of England Arts Society to give him a £12,200 grant (about $20,000) for the performance. Many people were outraged that he received public funds for kicking a carton down the street, but the Arts Council of England defended it, saying, “Art isn’t only about paintings.”
ARTIST: Orlan
MEDIUM: Her body
IS IT ART? From 1990 until 2000, the French performance artist worked on The Reincarnation of Saint Orlan, which consists of 10 videotaped plastic surgeries of her face. And the procedures weren’t for the usual reasons: “I am against the ideas of normal beauty,” the artist says. She had her chin done to resemble Botticelli’s Venus; her lips to resemble Moreau’s Europa, her eyes to look like Gérôme’s Psyche, and had silicone implanted above her temples so she could have the forehead of Leonardo’s Mona Lisa (sort of—it looks more like small horns). During the highly choreographed surgeries, Orlan, the surgeons, staff, and camera crew all dress in long robes. The artist, who takes only a local anesthetic so that she can remain conscious, reads poetry and philosophy during the operations. She completed the work by having doctors in Japan give her “the largest nose that her face is capable of supporting.” Her videos and photographs—plus blood and fat from the operations—have been exhibited at major art galleries worldwide. “My body,” she says, “is a place of public debate where crucial questions for our times can be asked.”
Excited neon atoms release red light.
NAME THAT TOWN
If you had the opportunity to name a town, what would you name it? Here’s a look at how some towns around the United States got their names.
ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA
The town was originally named Grand Lake, but when the Chicago, Burlington, & Quincy Railroad came to town in 1888, the railroad’s superintendent, G. W. Holdrege, wanted to change it. He thought a one-word name closer to the top of the alphabetical
list of towns in Nebraska would be better for business. The U.S. Post Office gave him permission and he picked Alliance.
BANGOR, MAINE
When settlers in the area decided to incorporate and become a town in 1791, the Reverend Seth Noble talked them into calling the town Sunbury, then went to Boston to deliver the petition himself (Maine was part of Massachusetts then). He happened to be whistling a hymn titled “Bangor” when the court official asked him what he wanted to name the town. Thinking the official was asking about the hymn, he replied, “Bangor.”
CALISTOGA, CALIFORNIA
In the early 1850s, Sam Brannan, publisher of San Francisco’s California Star newspaper, learned of a natural hot spring in the Napa Valley north of San Francisco. He bought up more than 2,000 acres of the surrounding land and drew up plans for a resort town and a health spa fed by the spring. He wanted to model the town after Saratoga Springs, New York, and one night over dinner with friends (and after a few too many drinks), he gushed that the town would one day be “the Calistoga of Sarafornia!”
LESAGE, WEST VIRGINIA
Founded on the spot where Jules Lesage pulled ashore when his steamboat broke down. It took so long for the steamboat to be repaired that Lesage finally gave up and settled there instead.
Dolphins can produce notes 100 times higher than a human soprano.
CLEVELAND, OHIO
The town was surveyed in 1796 by a man named Moses Cleaveland and named in his honor by his employees. Cleaveland spelled his name with an “a,” and that’s how the town spelled its name until 1831, when the editor of the fledgling Cleveland Advertiser newspaper realized the town’s name was too long to fit on the paper’s masthead. He dropped the “a,” and it’s been spelled Cleveland ever since.
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