He lifts me off the ground as if I weigh nothing. I straddle his waist with my legs and he holds me by my ass as I sink down onto him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he starts to fuck me deep and hard. My back bangs against the stall door. We’re making far too much noise. It sounds like someone’s being beat to death in here. If we’re caught, we’ll be thrown out of the restaurant and probably arrested. But does that stop us? Not a chance.
“You’re mine and only mine,” he says in my ear before biting my earlobe possessively.
I moan.
“Say it,” he demands.
“I’m only yours. No one else’s,” I say, my words more breath than sound.
And with those words he pounds harder into me until all I can think about is that familiar twinge of pleasure building deep inside of me.
I don’t want anyone else. Since I’ve met him, he’s all I can think about.
I claw at his hair, dig my fingers into his scalp. He smells like cologne, something deep and masculine that’s addicting. It’s mixed with the scent of his truck, motor oil and man. Whenever I’m with him, I can smell him on me after, and I want to be wrapped in that scent forever.
I move my hands from his hair to his back where the muscles flex under my fingertips. He’s all power.
I want to hold back as my orgasm steamrolls toward me, but this is not the time or the place to hold back. Several more thrusts and we’re coming together. Our lips lock together. His breath is my breath and the only thing that keeps me from screaming out my pleasure is his teeth on my tongue.
As my orgasm winds down, I unlock my legs from his waist and find the ground. They’re wobbly and barely functioning. My knees shake and I can hardly hold myself up. He keeps a firm grip on my waist to make sure I don’t fall.
“I should go,” I tell him even though I don’t want to. We’ve been careless so far. I can’t risk staying in this bathroom any longer. If I wait too long, Brock may come looking for me.
“Get rid of that guy,” Bernard says. For the first time there’s a hint of jealousy in his voice and I can’t help but like it. “And I want you and Ian to come with me and Trevor to the nature center tomorrow.”
I smile and nod because spending time with Bernard, his son, and Ian sounds like a far better date than this dinner with Brock.
Bernard gets dressed and kisses me before leaving. I go to the mirror, check my makeup. My mascara and eyeliner are smudged and my foundation has rubbed away on my nose and around my mouth, leaving red skin exposed underneath. I look like I just got fucked hard and I’m going to have to come up with some excuse as to why.
With a deep breath I leave the bathroom and go back to where Brock sits at the table going over the menu.
“Everything okay?” he asks. “You were in there quite a while. I almost sent the hostess to go check on you.”
I can feel my cheeks warm. We came so close to getting caught. “Those oysters didn’t sit well with me. I think maybe I’m having an allergic reaction.”
He studies my face. “I think you might be right. Your skin is awfully red and swollen.”
I bite back a smile. If only he knew. I feel sort of guilty, but I regret nothing.
“Do you think you could take me home? I think I need to take an antihistamine and go to bed.”
“Of course. We’ll continue our date another time,” he says.
Not a chance, buddy. I don’t care what my dad says.
I smile. “Thanks.”
Brock takes me home, and I have to explain to my parents why I’m home early. They don’t seem happy about it, but I don’t really care. Ian is already asleep and so I go to my room and lay in bed and fall asleep to the thought of my time with Bernard tonight.
10
Pippa
The next morning, I get Ian dressed and ready to go to the nature center. I’m more nervous than I thought I would be to see Bernard again. I’m developing feelings for him despite my reservations of getting back into another relationship after my divorce. I thought I would never trust another man again, and yet somehow I trust Bernard. There’s something honest in his eyes and his entire body gives away his emotions. He’s the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. Nothing like my ex who was always full of secrets. Even when we first got together, I always felt as though he was holding something back. I always thought it was just his personality, but now I know it’s because he was a born liar.
Bernard is an open book and I love that about him. In fact, I might actually be in love with him. If the butterflies I feel every time he’s near, or the way my body wakes up, or the fact that I can’t think of anything else is any indication of my feelings, then yes, I’m definitely in love. I just hope he feels the same.
Once Ian is dressed, we head for the reserve. As soon as I see Bernard’s truck in the parking lot, my body reacts the way I’ve come to expect from it. Butterflies rise into my stomach and my head starts to swim. I take a deep breath and get out of the car. I go around and get Ian out of his car seat.
Bernard is waiting for us in the lobby with Trevor at his side. Bernard’s smile ruins me in the best possible way. I feel my own mouth stretching until it hurts. It’s dangerous to feel this happy from just seeing someone. If he wanted, this man could break my heart into a million little pieces. He could do more damage than my ex ever did.
“You look amazing,” he says, and the way his eyes wander over me, taking in everything and brightening, I believe him—even though I’m wearing a plain white shirt and jeans. Whenever I’m around him I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt.
“You do too.”
He’s wearing yet another pair of jeans that hug his muscular body in all the right place. There’s a lock of his wavy dark hair that wants to fall away from the others into his eyes. I reach up to move it out of his face and he touches my hand affectionately when I do and takes it, kissing my knuckles.
We walk through the nature reserve, taking in the turtle sanctuary, the aviary with every kind of bird imaginable, even exotic parrots. We buy the kids little cups of sugar water and and the birds surround us or even land on our shoulders and arms to drink. There is even a butterfly room where they flit around us. Some of them are giant and have the wingspan of birds. It’s an amazing experience. I don’t know who is having a better time, me or the children. The boys giggle and laugh. I watch them play together as if they’ve known each other their whole lives. The laughter of their little voices makes my heart sing. I feel myself start to get a little teary-eyed watching them. What would it have been like for Ian to have a sibling?
Bernard nudges me. When I look up at him he has a look on his face that’s both concerned and loving. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
He touches me softly on the cheek. “You don’t look fine. You’re eyes are watering.”
I sigh. “Watching the boys play together makes me a little sad. I always wanted Ian to have a sibling, even if it was a younger one, but my ex didn’t want to have other kids.”
I used to bring it up all the time, but he would shut me down every time. He would say it’s not fair to me because with his work schedule I’d be home alone taking care of two kids by myself. And when I would argue that I didn’t mind, he would then make the excuse that it wasn’t fair for the child to be raised without the full attention of his father—not that he seemed to care about that with Ian. Turned out it was just because he was having his affair and having two kids was more difficult than having one and he didn’t want the extra responsibility.
Bernard frowns. “No offence, but your husband was an idiot.”
“No offense taken,” I say instantly without hesitation or thought.
Bernard continues. “If you were my wife, I would keep you knocked up eternally.”
I let out a laugh that grabs the attention of the people around us. I cover my mouth, a little embarrassed by the sudden attention. My face feels like it’s on fire and I know I’m blushing. I love the wa
y he looks at me when I blush, like he wants to pounce and take me on the floor right here and now. My heart races every time he looks at me like that, and my body suddenly comes alive.
We’ve just started walking through the reptile exhibit when my phone rings. I don’t recognize the number and think about ignoring it, but Bernard walks over to the boys to show them the snakes so I answer it.
“Hello?”
“Pippa, this is Nancy from the library.”
I recognize her friendly voice immediately even before she tells me where she’s from.
“Yes, hi Nancy, it’s good to hear from you.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure I would. It’s been a few days since I talked to her. I was afraid they’d chosen someone else.
“The board would like you to come in for a second interview.”
I try to calm my nerves and harness my excitement, but it’s hard. I want this job so bad, more than I’ve wanted any job. I’m perfect for it. I know I am. Aside from my son—and lately, Bernard—books are my passion. And I also I know I would love it. The pride of earning my own money and getting out from under my dad’s thumb will change everything for me and Ian. It will give me a chance to be with Bernard without my dad forcing me on dates with men I have no intension of being with.
“When?” I ask her.
Bernard is watching me. He seems to notice my excitement and heads toward me.
“That’s the thing,” Nancy says. “It has to be now. If you’re not able to make it in the next fifteen minutes, they’ll give the job to the director’s nephew. Nepotism.” She tacks on the last word with an exaggerated sigh.
“Fifteen minutes?” I say, trying to calculate the time and route to the library in my head while keeping the panic at bay. There’s no way I can make it across town to my parents’ house to drop off Ian then make it to the library in fifteen minutes.
“What is it?” Bernard says. He’s observant and seems to see the change in my demeanor.
I cover the phone with my hand so Nancy doesn’t hear me. “I have a job interview at the library, but they need me to be there in fifteen minutes.” I look at Ian helplessly.
“You go, I’ll watch Ian. There’s a café here, I’ll get the boys ice cream. You need this job to get out of your parents’ house.”
I throw myself into his arms. He catches me and laughs, wrapping me in a tight, comfortable, perfect hug. When he lets me go, he pats me on the butt. “Now go, get that job. You’re perfect for it.”
“Thank you so much.”
I get back on the phone. “Nancy, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
* * *
I get to the library in eight minutes. I’m nervous because I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt and not something more conservative, something a librarian would wear. But what choice did I have? They gave me so little time to prepare. I’m just glad I wasn’t wearing something more revealing.
Even though they told me to be here in fifteen minutes it takes forever for them to call me in for my interview, so I take a piece of note paper from the desk and start to fold it into the shape of a crane for my son’s collection. I’ve just finished when Nancy comes in smiling and says they’re ready for me.
I’m called into a large room with six people sitting in a row, staring me down. My brain goes into auto pilot as the people from the board ask me questions. But I’m not nervous because if there’s one thing I’m absolutely confident about, it’s books. My love for them will transcend any of my shortcomings.
Doesn’t take them longer than twenty minutes before they make the decision to hire me. I smile politely, shake their hands and thank them. It’s not until I’m out by my car that I start to dance around with excitement.
My phone rings and I pick it up without looking to see who it is. I just assumed it was Bernard to check and see how it went. But when I answer, it’s my father.
“What the hell are you doing?” he says, his voice full of venom. He doesn’t give me the opportunity to answer his question when he starts barking at me again. “Minnie St. James was at the library and called to say she saw you. She said you weren’t with Ian. Want to explain where your son is?”
“It’s fine, Dad. He’s with Bernard and his son at the nature center.”
I realize too late that it probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but I’m a bad liar and the truth tends to slip out at the worst possible moments. And this is the worst possible moment.
“Bernard?” he says with disgust. “The handyman from the church? How dare you leave your son with a stranger. You’re the most irresponsible woman, you know that?”
He goes on to tell me—for the umpteenth time—how he can see now why my ex left me, and how brainless I can be. I absorb his words, and as I do they build up until my chest hurts and my eyes burn with tears.
I hang up on him because I can’t take it anymore. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am irresponsible, but I’ve never had to do any of this on my own and take care of myself and my son. This is all new to me, but I trust Bernard. He takes care of his son and is there far more than my ex was for Ian or even my father was for me. It wasn’t as if my own parents took care of me. They hired other people for that and I’m getting really sick of them judging me for doing the best I can.
It’s hard for me to drive and see through the tears, but I somehow manage without driving my car into a tree. When I get to the nature center I slam on my breaks when I see my father’s Lincoln parked next to Bernard’s truck. I feel a little sick to my stomach as I hastily park, taking up two spots. I’ll more than likely get a nasty note from someone because the place is packed and there’s so little parking spots available, but at this point, I don’t care.
I get out of the car and run into the center, my heart beating like hummingbird wings when I see the scene. My father and Bernard are in the middle of the center, their faces red and twisted with anger. Bernard holds my son to his chest while my father shouts obscenities. I don’t see my mother anywhere. If she were there, she’d make sure my dad didn’t cause a scene. She would never allow him to embarrass her just in case someone from her social clubs were around. For the first time in my life, I wish my mother were here.
People stand around but they don’t try to intervene. They must be able to tell this is personal. I just hope security isn’t called.
My father and Bernard don’t notice me at first when I walk through the door. I’ve walked right into the middle of their argument.
“Pippa trusted me with her son and I’m not giving him over to anyone without her say,” Bernard says.
“I’m his grandfather, and you’re a stranger. Unless you want me calling the cops, you’ll hand my grandson over this instant or I’ll have you arrested.”
“He’s her son. Not yours. You have no right to him.”
I step in before this gets out of hand. The last thing I want is to get the cops involved. “Dad, that’s enough,” I say, my voice hushed, but forceful. I hate that all these people are watching us and seeing what a mess my life is. This is a place Bernard takes his son often and my father is ruining it for him. He must be so embarrassed right now and it’s all my fault.
“You make him hand my grandson over to me, or you’ll regret it. I’ll take you straight to court and get custody. You can’t seem to get your priorities straight and you never think about what’s best for your son. All you care about is yourself.”
I glare at him. This is coming from a man who was always so wrapped up with his job that I barely knew him. I was closer to my nanny than I ever was with my parents.
I can’t help the tears that start pouring down my face. Again. I hate crying in front of my father. He always claimed it was a sign of weakness. They are impossible to stop, though. I’m too upset to do anything about it. His threats scare me. He has enough money to get the best lawyers and my father never bluffs. He means what he says.
Bernard puts Ian down and starts to step up to my father like he’s going to hit him, but I hold my hand out to stop
him. My father is a bully, but I won’t let him intimidate me. He’s not going to use my son to threaten me. If my father managed to get custody of my son, it’s not like he and my mother would raise him. They would hire nannies, just like they did with me growing up. Ian is better off with his mother and any judge would see that.
“Mommy?” Ian’s little voice rises from where he’s hiding behind Bernard’s leg now. He sees me crying and now he’s crying too.
I wipe away my tears and smile down at him. I bend down and pull the crane I made him at the library out of my purse. I give it to him and he smiles through the tears. He takes off his backpack and pulls out the Spiderman lunchbox inside and opens it. It’s full of all the different origami animals I’ve made for him over the years.
“Whatcha got there, buddy?” Bernard says to him.
Trevor looks into the box, equally fascinated by the shapes.
“They’re my magical animals,” Ian says, showing off his collection with pride which makes me beam despite my father’s scowl burning a hole in the side of my face as he stares me down.
“Can I hold one?” Trevor asks.
Ian looks skeptical, but I always told him to share and so he hands Trevor a rabbit.
Ian says, “My mommy says if I’m ever lonely to unfold them and see the secret message inside.”
“I like to leave love messages inside,” I explain.
“Have you ever opened one?” Bernard asks Ian.
He shakes his head vigorously. “I never feel lonely. My mommy loves me.”
“Enough of this,” my father says. “Come on Ian, you’re coming with me.”
Ian runs over to me and clutches my leg. “I want to stay with my mommy.”
I rub the soft hair on top of his head to assure him I won’t let anyone take him.
“Pippa, Ian is coming with me. If you don’t let that boy go right now, you’ll never see another penny from me and I’ll leave all your belongings on the lawn. You’ll be homeless and desolate. What could you possibly do on your own? You’ve never even had a job. No one will hire you.”
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