by Lucian Bane
“It’s not showing on the map but the terrain is changing,” he said. “Uphill. I don’t know for how long but I do know it’s going to be difficult.”
I handed Becca and Tara their pieces and then Preacher, who took it and examined it. Sniffed it. “Don’t eat it!” His voice boomed out with his hand toward Becca. He threw the candy on the ground. “Unless you want diarrhea for the next few hours. This smells like that chocolate laxative stuff old people take.”
Tara wondered the name of the product aloud.
“Yes. That.”
I wondered briefly how he’d be so acquainted with such a thing as we all threw the candy down. I put my arm around Tara who loudly mourned and grumbled over the near snack. “Bastard is playing dirty, isn’t he?” I eyed Preacher, looking for signs of what he was really thinking.
“Let’s just get our little caravan on the trail. I want to make it to the next flag, dry and before dark if possible so I can hunt a decent meal.” He nodded at me. “Lead the way chief.”
I looked around then at the compass on my wrist. “That way.” I pointed northeast and grimaced. “Looks like we’ll be hacking through more dense shit. Only uphill.”
We all shouldered what few provisions we had left. As glad as I was for a lighter load, I was not happy that we’d lost our food rations and some of the other important items that could have come in handy. We couldn’t carry as much water now, having lost most of our extra bottles. At least we still had our soup cans. And when were we going to get more supplies?
We followed Preacher, stopping periodically to check the map and the compass before readjusting and continuing. Still uphill. Fucking mountain of all things, really? I put my hand on Tara’s ass, helping push her up as often as opportunity allowed, glad for the tiny bit of pleasure that afforded me. Huffing and puffing for the first hour was all you could hear before we happened upon a small stream.
“Fucking break,” Preacher gasped, dropping his load. “Time to make a choice. Drink unboiled water or go dry. I’m taking the chance, but you’ll each have to decide for yourselves.”
I followed his lead, all of us going for the stream. “Water’s good.” Loud slurps followed Preacher’s gasped proclamation and we all fell to our knees and drank. God was it ever good.
“Mmmm,” Tara sighed. “Water never tasted so good.” She finally straightened with a loud groan while sitting on her ankles, wiping her hand across her forehead. “How much further you think…to the flag?” Her eyes remained closed as she caught her breath.
I took the map from my front pocket and carefully unfolded it. Already it was about to tear and parts of it were faded. We needed to protect the damn thing. “My guess is maybe three more miles.”
“Three!” The word squeaked out in exasperation. “That’s like ten in this crazy terrain!”
“Not so bad I think.” Becca stood, looking refreshed and ready to jog the rest of the way.
I stood and nodded at her, helping Tara to her feet. “I take it this jungle is like home to you?”
She eyed me with an accusing look. “Are you suggesting I am accustomed to living like an animal in a jungle because I am black and from Africa?”
“What?” I laughed a little, amused. “No, I just meant—“
“Baby, you feeling okay?” Preacher’s words were soft but well heard.
She jerked to him. “Must I be ill to reprimand a person for speaking prejudicially?”
“No,” he mumbled, “but it’s not like you to take offense so quickly.”
“Quickly? Offense has a velocity and momentum, does it? I would agree and say that you are barreling towards my anger at a rocket’s rate.”
Preacher rubbed a hand over his bald head and looked at me. “We’re taking thirty.”
Becca balked. “We don’t have time to take—“
“Thirty!” Preacher grabbed her hand and pulled her with him as he stalked off. Becca followed with many rapid foreign syllables that had me and Tara looking at each other with wide, curious eyes.
Glad to be alone, I pulled Tara into my arms and hugged her tight.
“I stink,” she whispered.
“Me too,” I whispered back.
“I’m hungry,” she said.
“Me too.” I kissed along her neck. “If I could fuck you at this moment I’d forget all about food.”
“Ugh, we stink!” Like she was upset I forgot that part.
“I never said I wanted to eat you, I just want to shove my cock in you over and over until you’re clawing my skin to keep from screaming.”
“Oh God,” she moaned weakly. “No fair. And is it seriously three more miles you think?” She kissed at my sweaty neck now.
“Seems like it, yes.” I held her head, closing my eyes, letting her. “Suck it.”
She moaned and sucked the muscle with a ferocity that drew blood to the surface of my skin while weakening my knees.
“You taste so good,” she gasped after a few moments. “Salty. Your sweat is…perfect to my taste buds. I must be crazy.”
“Yes, you must be,” I laughed and looked around. “Let’s go hide,” I said.
“No time for that Bane,” Preacher’s voice startled us. “Sorry, we need to go. Got a bad feeling.”
“Like what?” I picked up the backpack and slid it on while he did the same, looking around.
“Not sure. Just do.”
For the next hour we walked in silence, nothing but the familiar sound of labored breathing as we continued the trek up the mountain. Bored to tears, I began studying the sounds of our breaths, making distinctions and imagining super hero scenarios that might require me to save a life by the data. The heat was oppressive and the air was non-existent causing sweat to roll down every inch of my body and collect in my boots. When the odd data collection grew boring, a past joke surfaced to rescue me. “So,” I began loud enough for all of them to hear. “Once there’s a man who was talking to God. ‘God, how long is a thousand years?’ God answered, ‘A thousand years is a day to me.’ The man says, ‘How much is a million dollars to you?’ God answered, ‘A million dollars is like a penny.’ The man smiled and said, ‘Well can I have a penny?’ God smiled back and said, ‘Sure. In a minute.”
The joke earned me a few snorts and a snicker, but that was plenty to egg me on. “I got a good one,” I said. “One day, Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing right? First one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it heads right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Next, Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, and it heads for the water hazard too. Jesus closes his eyes and prays, the ball skips across the water and lands on the green two feet from the hole. Now it’s the old man’s turn. He comes over and drives the ball. The ball looks like it is going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumps from the water swallowing the ball, as an eagle drops from the sky, grabbing the fish. The eagle flies over the green, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, and it drops the fish. The fish hits the green, it spits out the ball and the ball falls into the hole, making a hole in one. Then Jesus looks at Moses and says, “I’m leaving dad home next time.”
That earned a round of laughter.
“Okay, I have one,” Tara said, huffing as we climbed. “Two nuns were riding their bicycles down the street. The first nun says, ‘I’ve never came this way before.’ The second nun says, ‘Yeah, it’s the cobblestones.’”
We all let our laughter rip after a few seconds then Tara chuckled. “Why did God create alcohol?”
“Why?” I asked.
“So ugly people could have sex, too.”
We all laughed and Preacher said, “I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said ‘Stop! Don’t do it!’ ‘Why shouldn’t I?’ he said. I said, ‘Well, there’s so much to live for.’ ‘Like what?’ he asked. ‘Well … are you religious or atheist?’ He said, ‘Relig
ious.’ ‘Me too. Are you Christian or Jewish?’ ‘Christian,’ he said. ‘Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?’ ‘Protestant.’ ‘Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?’ I asked. ‘Baptist.’ ‘Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?’ ‘Baptist Church of God,’ he said. ‘Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?’ ‘Reformed Baptist Church of God.’ ‘Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?’ ‘Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!’ he answered. At that point, I pushed him off the bridge and yelled, ‘Die, you heretic scum!’”
Another round of laughter and it was Becca’s turn. “What is the fastest animal in Ethiopia?”
“The gazelle?” Tara said.
“No. The chicken.”
Becca chuckled at the laugh that got. “I have another. “Three guys were in the jungle and were captured by a wild tribe. When they get to the camp, the chief says, ‘We will let u live, if u can do a task. If you fail, we will kill you. The first thing you need to do is get ten fruit, any fruit, then come see us.’ So the first guy comes back with ten apples, and the chief says, ‘Now, shove them all up your ass without making a sound.’ So the guy gets to the third apple and he grunts, so they kill him and his soul floats up to heaven. Now the second guy comes back with ten grapes and the chief says the same thing. So the guy gets in nine grapes then he suddenly bursts out laughing. So they kill him, and his soul floats up to heaven. When he gets up there the first guy asked, ‘Why did you start laughing, you almost made it?’ The second guy says, ‘I would have, but I laughed when I saw the other guy coming back with pineapples.’”
Our laughter was interrupted with Becca’s gasp and Preacher’s yell. I hurried past Tara and Becca grabbed my arm, stopping me while pointing down.
“Holy shit!” I edged toward the large hole before her and made out Preacher’s body at the bottom. “You okay?” I yelled.
He answered with growl, then a labored, “Sprained my fucking ankle. Bane, get the fucking rope.”
I hurried and opened the backpack. “It’s in your bag man.”
“Fffffuck,” he whispered. “Gonna have a hard time getting to that. Give me a moment. Have Tara and Becca take a break, will you?”
His tone said he needed Becca not to see what had happened down there. Shit. I gave the women instructions and Becca barely whispered, “He’s hurt, I know it.”
I knew I couldn’t fool the woman and I simply nodded slowly then said, “He needs you to take a rest. Get your wind. Your strength.” I opened my eyes wide at her, trying to silently convey the importance of her cooperation at this time.
Anguish filled her face and Tara pulled her back a few feet. “Let’s gain our strength, won’t do them any good if we’re passed out tired. Come on. Come on,” she gently said, tugging her.
Once Becca and Tara were settled, I turned and got on my knees next to the pit. “Can you get that rope to me?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll find something. I’m coming in to get it.”
I looked around and found a big enough tree and rushed to it with the hatchet then hacked off a good sized limb. I stripped it of branches and hauled it to the hole. “Can you grab hold of the end of this man? I’m sending it down and you can use it to climb up?”
“That’s a negative. You need to get down here though, first chance you get.”
“Shit,” I whispered. “Coming now, coming right now.” I carefully scooted my way down the thick branch into the maybe three foot by three foot hole. Had to be fifteen feet deep. “You think that fucker did this?”
“Oh yeah,” he said.
The strain in his voice worried me. “I don’t want to step on you, how are you hurt?” I whispered.
“There’s a fucking wooden spike buried in my leg just below my fucking ass. I need you to get the backpack off of me and find something in it to wrap it once I remove it.”
“Holy fucking shit,” I said, managing to stand next to him where he sat at the bottom of the small space. He braced both hands on the dirt wall next to him, agony edging his every breath.
“Hurry the fuck up Bane, ready to get moving again.”
I dug in the bag still on his back and found nothing to wrap his leg with. I pulled the rope out and set it on the ground then took my shirt off and ripped a strip from it. “Okay man. This is all I got. You want me to lift you?”
“Nah.” He dug his fingers into the dirt wall, took three deep breaths and jerked himself up with a strained growl then worked his way to standing. “Tie it tight man, upper leg.” His words shook as he fought to breathe. “I’m going to kill that motherfucker when I see him, you realize that, right Bane?”
“And I’ll hold him the fuck down while you do. The man is sick, he’s not playing, you feel what I’m saying?”
“Figured it out at the candy bar.” He grunted while I tied the blood soaked area at the hole in his pants. “That wasn’t laxative. It was ricin. I could smell the castor oil. I’d planned to tell you when we stopped, didn’t want to scare the women.”
I straightened and looked at him, fear seizing me. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I whispered.
“Wished I was. And now fucking this? I’m lucky I have a hole in my leg and not my fucking ass or head.”
“Jesus Christ, right. Can you climb now?”
He nodded. “I’ll tie the rope around me, you go top side and help pull me up in case I’m wrong. Don’t want another fucking hole in my body.”
“Got it, yeah, of course.”
I climbed my way up with the other side of the rope then began pulling. There was no talking Becca and Tara out of helping, so I didn’t bother trying. Not to mention, I didn’t want to accidentally drop him if he slipped.
We finally got him top side and Becca hurried to him, examining his body in a flurry of foreign gasping. By the sharp sound of her voice she was beyond pissed and worried. She was scared.
The sound of distant laughter reached us, and we all froze at the maniacal cackling that seemed to grow louder and more insane with every second.
“Bane?”
I met Preacher’s hard gaze and my blood went cold in my veins at what I saw in his gaze. The game had just officially ended for us. And this operation was less about getting a flag and more about getting the women to safety.
Chapter Seven
With our pace drastically slower, Lucian took over leading the way to the next flag while I prayed the little LED light didn’t die. Be careful, be careful, I must’ve said that a hundred times and Lucian, bless his heart, always reassured me that he was, he was going slow, careful, watching. Always his tone was patient, gentle, worried. About me. Maybe that had everything to do with my inability to keep the fear out of my voice. But there were wild animals in the forest, I was sure. Reptiles and rodents, mostly, according to Preacher, who didn’t spare me the brutal facts of the matter. Which had me terrified. Little bitty poisonous snakes and great big man-eating snakes were bad enough, without rats. Rats just put it over the top.
“Fuck, we made it,” Lucian gasped, shining the light before us.
“Oh thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus,” I cried straining to see past him into the sudden clearing. “We made it.” I hugged Lucian from behind and he patted my hand before unlatching me.
“Come on sweetheart, we made it.”
“Wait,” Preacher’s word boomed with caution. “Ladies need to hang back.”
“Xavier!” Becca hissed. “You are in no condition to be barking such orders.”
“Don’t Becca, not now.”
“This is no longer a game, Xavier, the lunatic aims to try to really hurt us, if you haven’t noticed!”
Preacher growled. “I do think I know that better than anybody, baby. Now. Hang. Back.”
I hurried to Becca and grabbed her hand. “We’ll hang
back, but close. Don’t worry.”
She didn’t resist my grasp as the men slowly moved into the opening. Becca and I slowly inched our way behind them, maintaining a safe distance but close enough to see at least. Not to mention, I didn’t like our backs open to God only knew what.
“Found the flag,” I heard Lucian say. “Would you fucking look at that?”
“Sick fucker,” Preacher mumbled.
“What is that smell?” I covered my nose at the whiff of strong shit just as a strange cry slash growl sounded in the distance behind us. “Can we come now? Make a fire maybe?”
“Bane, check the perimeter while I gather wood for fire. Here.” Preacher handed him his knife doubling his protection with the hatchet Lucian carried.
Lucian slowly walked the perimeter with the light while Preacher gathered wood in the dark.
“We can help,” Becca said.
“You can wait,” Preacher said right back.
I patted Becca’s hand when she gave a pissed huff. I understood and yet was glad to not have to go gathering firewood in the dark. I made it a point not to look too closely at our surroundings as it was, just knowing I’d never sleep again. “God what is that smell?”
“Shit,” Lucian said heading toward us. “All seems fine.” He held his hand toward me and I released Becca to latch on to him.
“Becca, come give me a hand with this fire baby.”
Becca erupted in that foreign tongue sounding angry and worried all at the same time. I asked Lucian, “What do you mean shit?” I whispered. “What’s wrong with the flag? Where is it?”
Lucian kept the light aimed at Preacher and Becca and looked to the right. “It’s at the bottom of a pit full of shit.”
“Ugh, seriously?”
“And snakes,” Preacher grumbled.
“Snakes!” I gasped, watching Preacher carefully blow on the small flame Becca already had going.
“And shit,” Lucian said.
“That is…disgusting and… dangerous! How is that legal? That is carrying it too far. It’s bad enough the terrain is not fit for travel, Preacher could have killed himself in that hole he fell in back there.”
