He flipped through the journal, reading other passages. “He’s in love with you.”
“He thinks he is. He doesn’t even know me.”
“He thinks he’s coming for you. And I’m letting him stay in my backyard? I should kick him to the curb.”
“No—what you did was perfect. It really is the only way.”
“When he finds out we are together, he’ll try to be with you even more. I have to do something,” he thought aloud as he gazed up again at the moon. “Maybe I can convince them to go home before the full moon hits.”
“How are you going to be able to do that?”
“I’m not sure.” Brandon was thoughtful. “Why wouldn’t he just pick someone in Huntington?”
Then I showed him the passage that tied it all together.
The Legend’s Run Werewolf Festival. The perfect time to find and take my mate. With everyone acting like werewolves, no one will know that I really am one. I can walk proudly underneath the moon and stars—for one full night—and go unnoticed. It will be that night that I’ll find her—and when no one sees, I’ll take her as my own.
And her name is Celeste.
Brandon slammed the book shut. He stood up and gripped the book so tightly I thought it was going to break into pieces.
“It’s okay,” I said, rising, too.
“No, it’s not. It’s so not okay! I have to stop them from going to the festival.” He began pacing.
“But how?”
He stopped. “Maybe tell them I’m a werewolf, too.”
“You can’t, Brandon. Who knows who they’ll tell?”
“I don’t know, Celeste. I’m not sure what to do. The full moon is coming, and all I know is I have to do something.”
I’d never seen Brandon so distraught. I knew he grappled with being a werewolf himself, but he was having a hard time with the knowledge that someone would want to change me.
“What if you go somewhere?” he asked.
“Leave town?”
“Yes.” He was excited by his idea. “It’s the best solution.”
“I can’t just go out of town. What would I tell my parents?”
“We could think of something.”
“Where would I go?” I wondered. “And how would I get there?”
“We can work out all those details.”
“I can’t miss school. I have so many tests next week.”
“You can make them up. This is more important. My grandma has a sister in Madison you can stay with. I’ll get you a bus ticket.”
“Brandon,” I began. “I really appreciate it, but I’m not going to leave. I’m going to face this thing with you. I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Me?” he said. “You are worried about me?” He stroked the top of my hair and kissed my forehead. “You are always thinking of others. Can’t you just once think of yourself?”
“No, I’m not going to just run off and leave you here to deal with these guys by yourself.” I stood firm.
He gazed at me proudly. Then he felt he needed to defend his own pride.
“I didn’t run away, either,” he said. “From Miller’s Glen.”
“I know that.”
“You heard Ryder say I did. But that’s not what happened.”
“I know,” I said. “It was because of your father. He went to Europe, and you couldn’t stay there yourself. Anyway, it was just a game,” I continued. “That’s all.”
“But this isn’t. This is so much more.”
I took his hand and led him back to the glider. “So, you were like Nash at your old school? The popular jock?”
“Yes, even after we lost. We were upset—but most thought I was even cooler than I’d been before.”
“Then how did you deal with it here? Sitting alone, having no friends?”
“It was hard. Really. But there was something about it that was really good for me: I got to see a side of life I didn’t see when I was home. Everything in my old life was about sports and parties. And here, I got to spend more time outdoors. But mostly, I got to meet the one person who mattered to me more than anyone I’d ever met before.”
“You are so sweet,” I said, giving him a squeeze. “I am so glad you came to Legend’s Run.”
“Me, too,” he said. “However, I’m not so happy Ryder came as well.”
“I double that,” I said.
“But know this,” Brandon said. “You don’t have to worry. This is one game against Ryder that I will win.”
ELEVEN
sisterly advice
I stewed over reading more of Ryder’s journal. Normally I wasn’t one to snoop—or read another person’s intimate writings without their consent—but in this case it was imperative. It was the key to Ryder’s actions, and since my friends and I could possibly be in danger, I was doing more harm by not reading it than by reading it.
I sat at my desk and opened the journal again.
Day thirty-two
I hate who I’ve become. Destined for a life of solitude. Is this really me? What has happened?
If Leopold and Hunter hadn’t teased those wolves at the animal sanctuary, none of this would have happened. We were lucky they didn’t kill us. It was stupid to sneak in after dark—and nothing goes right on a dare.
But my arm didn’t heal well—and theirs didn’t, either. We all had fevers and bizarre dreams. We are all freaked out—afraid to admit to what really transpired and chalked it up to delusions from our fevers. But when I saw Hunter and Leopold change last night, I knew I was going to follow. Though I don’t remember what happened next, I know from watching them that I, too, turned into a monster. And this isn’t going away. I don’t know what to do anymore but run.
Ryder was experiencing the same anguish that Brandon and Nash had gone through. He was rough around the edges—there was no doubt about that—but this must have pushed him over the line. The whole lycan condition was fraught with torment, anxiety, and isolation. Even though his friends also experienced it, he was still lonely and scared like Brandon and Nash had been. For some reason Brandon handled it the best. It magnified his already good qualities. It made him stronger, and even more handsome. But that didn’t mean that it was all glory for him. He had to deal with it just like the others—and that caused strain in his life. And as for Nash, it was wrecking him. I felt awful that any of these guys had to go through this horrible condition when it was tough enough already to deal with the normal challenges of high school.
I had compassion for Ryder—even though he was making it a point to bother me and my friends. He was going about dealing with his condition in the wrong way, but now that I’d read his thoughts, I wasn’t sure he knew how to do it any differently.
As I reread the journal entries, I couldn’t help but wonder about his attraction to me. Nash was the first major crush I’d had, and Brandon was my first—and only—true love. But Ryder stood somewhere else. For some reason, he was drawn to me—but I couldn’t figure out why. He was the complete opposite of Brandon, really—and of me and my family. His style was very rough and edgy and he appeared to be dangerous. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. And then I realized my fear had turned into fascination.
It had been a while since Juliette had come home from school. She popped in the following day, Saturday, to get some extra cash and more spring clothes.
“It’s wonderful to see you,” my mom said to her.
Our house was so much quieter when Juliette was away. And though I loved the solitude and being the only daughter for a change, there was a tiny part of me that did miss my big sister.
I sat on her bed. Her room was still the same as she left it. Mom and Dad were hoping to use her room as an office, but they wound up leaving it intact until she decided what she’d do after college. I thought it was more to do with my mom not wanting to let her daughter go completely.
“So how is school?” I asked.
“Love it. It’s so much fun. What about you? Mom tells me you have a boyfriend. An
d it’s not Nash.”
I blushed.
“Is this the hot guy you were talking to me about last time when I came into town?”
“Yes.”
“So what’s he like?”
“He’s everything I could imagine wanting. He’s strong and handsome and funny and kind.”
“Does he have a brother?”
“No,” I answered with a laugh.
“So, what else?”
“There’s this one other guy. I don’t like him or anything. But he follows me, and he’s really different. I wonder what it would be like…”
“So you have a crush. Big deal.”
“You think so?”
“Hello. It’s normal to find other guys attractive.”
“But why him? He’s rude and weird and has tatts all over.”
“Sounds like my kind of man. Is he hot?”
I nodded.
“You know what I think? It’s because he’s different—the opposite of you and everything you want. Brandon is what you really desire, and this guy is someone you’d never see yourself with. So that makes him cool, too. The unknown, an adventure. Maybe it’s about disclosing a rebellious and dangerous part of yourself that you find thrilling.” She got a mischievous glint in her eye. “Have you kissed him?”
“No!”
“But you want to.”
“No!” I said again. “I just don’t know why I think about him.”
“Because you have a mind.”
“So it’s not cheating?”
“You have to do a lot more than think about a guy to be a cheater,” Juliette reassured me.
I gave her a squeeze.
“You are such a dork sometimes. I can’t believe you are my sister,” Juliette teased.
But I still felt odd that I was thinking about Ryder.
TWELVE
canoe trip
I think we need a break from everything,” Brandon said on the phone to me before I went to bed. “I have just the idea for a little R & R tomorrow.”
I was in great need of rest and relaxation, and it would be wonderful for Brandon and me to have some free time spent together, forgetting all about Ryder, Nash, and the effects of the full moon.
“Pack a swimsuit and sunscreen,” he said, “and I’ll pick you up around nine thirty.”
At nine fifteen, I was anxiously waiting outside my house for Brandon. I wore a bikini under a pair of hiking shorts and a light blue tank top. He pulled into my driveway at nine thirty, a canoe tied to the top of his Jeep. I got into his SUV, and we drove down the twisty and hilly back roads of the Westside. His grandmother had packed sandwiches, fruit, and drinks in a cooler. The windows were rolled down, and the music was turned up. We sang along to our favorite songs as we headed over a two-lane bridge. I gazed out—endless trees and a high river. I was having the best time already. We continued on and passed open fields, farms, and horse stables. We came around a corner to the bank of the river and parked in a gravel parking lot. There were a handful of people already there—and kids running around with oars and life jackets.
I felt funny being in my bathing suit in front of Brandon, so I just took off my T-shirt and kept my shorts on. I wasn’t tan yet—and I knew I needn’t be—but I did feel self-conscious. The life jacket was lumpy, making me feel even more unattractive than I felt before.
“You sit in front,” he said with the confidence of a navy commander.
I hopped in, and he pushed the canoe against the sandy embankment and into the river as he jumped in behind me.
I paddled a bit while he steered. Our surroundings were beautiful. Within a few minutes we were in the middle of the river, trees and summerhouses lining the sides. There was no sign of normal traffic even though the roads weren’t too far away from us.
I leaned back and closed my eyes. The sun’s rays felt amazing against my skin. The smell of the river was fresh from the beginning of spring. In a few months, this same river would be hot and muggy, and mosquitoes would be pecking at us. It was a perfect time to canoe.
“I’d love to do this every day,” I said. “Thank you for bringing me! I can’t imagine Ivy on the river.”
“I can’t, either.”
“Abby—she’d love it. But we get so busy with school and things, we don’t think of doing fun stuff like this.”
“Things seem different since I’ve changed. I feel the need to be outside as much as possible. I loved the outdoors before—but now I can’t seem to get enough of it. I almost feel claustrophobic in school or in my room at home. Here you can feel so free.”
“There’s nothing out here to bother us.” Just then I glanced up. I thought I saw red and blond hair peeking out from one of the trees. “Is that—”
Brandon looked in the direction I had, but the guys were gone.
“What?”
“I thought I saw Leopold—or Hunter.”
“They are supposed to be at my house, chopping wood. I offered to pay them, and they accepted. I knew that would keep them busy for a while and help me out at the same time. They can’t be a danger to us now.”
“I know,” I said. But did I really? Why couldn’t they be? Were they only dangerous if they were in werewolf form? I didn’t feel like we were so alone anymore.
Brandon tried to distract me. “Cool, there’s a rope swing on that tree. You want to go for a swing?”
“I couldn’t possibly.”
“Sure you can. I’ll go, too.”
We beached the canoe and watched as several kids, one by one, climbed up the tree, then the branch, grabbed the rope, and swung into the water.
It looked like great fun. Only when it was our turn, it wasn’t as easy as it appeared. I grabbed the branch and tried my best to keep my footing. Brandon was right behind me, and he laughed at me as I squealed several times.
“I’m doing my best,” I said.
“You’re almost there,” he encouraged.
The water seemed farther away than it had when we were looking up at the rope. The other kids were back in their boats but were watching me.
“You can do it,” one shouted.
I grabbed the rope, and it shook in my hands.
If Brandon wasn’t standing behind me, I would have surely turned around and climbed down. But he smiled as if he was so proud of me, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.
I took a deep breath and jumped off the branch. I only knew that I was screaming with delight as I swung in the air, and before I knew it I was smacking my body into the water. It wasn’t an Olympic feat by any stretch of the imagination. I treaded water while I watched Brandon take my place.
Brandon waved and quickly swung in after me. He was much more graceful. I swam over to him.
“That was so much fun,” I said. Then I giggled. “I was afraid I’d lose my top!”
“I was kind of hoping you would,” he teased.
“Get out—” I toyed with him. I swam away and headed for the embankment.
When I glanced up, I saw Ryder leaning against a tree.
I gasped. I turned to Brandon, who was still swimming toward me.
“Brandon,” I whispered. But he was still too far away.
I turned back to Ryder, who was still standing there. This time he gave me a wink. I cringed inside. I didn’t know what he was up to, but I felt like he was invading our space and good time.
All at once, I felt someone behind me, pinching my sides.
I screamed.
I turned around to find Brandon laughing.
“Why are you so nervous?” he said. “Who did you think it was?”
“Ryder is over there,” I whispered to him so he could hear.
He glanced around.
“Where?”
“By the tree.”
“I don’t see him.”
I turned around casually. Ryder had gone.
I headed farther up the embankment and searched as much as I could from where I was.
“He was right ov
er there—” I said, pointing.
“It’s okay. Even if they are here—what does it matter?”
“Haven’t you seen those movies? Someone following people on the river? There are tons of them.”
“It’s okay,” he said, pulling me close. “If he is here, he’s doing exactly what he wants—getting under your skin. The best thing is to ignore him. Have a good time. That’s the best payback.”
I nodded my head. “You’re right.”
Brandon never asked for anything. And this was one opportunity that he could just be himself. I shouldn’t let anyone get in the way. Even if it was upsetting to me.
I did see Ryder again, but I didn’t say anything to Brandon. I kept my cool and talked really loudly about how good of a time I was having.
“It’s okay,” Brandon whispered. “I sense him spying on us. But we don’t have to worry about it. This is our time together.”
He leaned in to me and kissed me long. His luscious lips sent tingles racing along my damp skin.
We ate our sandwiches and cuddled in the canoe. The atmosphere, sounds, and scenery were breathtaking, and being in the wilderness with my now-human but soon-to-be-werewolf boyfriend was magical. I wasn’t going to let another lycan spoil these precious moments anymore.
After some more relaxing, we stretched out and then packed up our lunches and resumed our trip.
As we made our way down the river, there were a few rapids, and with Brandon’s guidance we made our way through them. It was exhilarating; I felt a rush paddling through them. “I wish there were more,” I said.
Before I knew it, we’d come to the pickup point.
“It’s over already?”
“Next we can do the five-mile trip.”
“My arms are sore from paddling, I have to admit.”
We got into the van, and Brandon massaged my arms.
I leaned my head on his shoulder as I looked back. I saw Ryder standing at the edge of the embankment—staring up at me. This time I bravely looked back at him and waved. He was lucky the gesture was a polite one.
The full moon was fast approaching, and I knew changes would soon be happening. I was just hoping I wouldn’t be one of those to change.
Full Moon Kisses Page 12
