What in the name of sweet, holy fuck?! I’d just opened my mouth to inform all present parties that there was no way in hell there would be any babies between me and the psychopath who’d suction cupped herself to my side when the doorbell chimed.
“Great!” Wendy shifted Ivy in her arms, either oblivious to or intentionally ignoring the tension in the air. “Now that Pepper’s here we can go. I’m starving!”
You know that moment, right before your entire world is about to cave in, where time just seems to start moving in slow motion and you’re stuck watching the fallout take place right before your very eyes, with no chance of stopping it? Yeah, I was in that very same hell.
I watched in frozen shock as Wendy pulled the front door open, revealing a smiling Pepper standing there, her eyes on her niece, completely oblivious to what she was about to walk in to. I frantically pulled at my arm and tried to move away, but the damn woman was like a leech.
Yep. The shit was about to hit the fan.
And there I was without a goddamned umbrella.
GRIFFIN: WORKING LATE. WON’T be able to come by 2nite. Talk tmro, sweetness.
I wasn’t going to lie, the text I’d gotten from Griffin earlier that evening had me a little unsettled. It wasn’t that I expected him to be with me every single night; I wasn’t a needy, clingy woman who needed to spend every waking moment with the man in her life. It was more the fact that it had been Griffin himself who’d insisted on sleeping in the same bed as me since we started this whole thing.
I kept telling myself that I was being ridiculous, and with his job it wasn’t uncommon for late hours or mental and physical exhaustion. I knew that from experience, seeing Dex deal with the same things. If I wanted our relationship to work and actually last, I needed to be supportive.
The call from Wendy asking if I could babysit Ivy couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Not only would it take my mind off the text from Griffin, but it would also keep me from stressing about the impending talk he planned on having with my brother. Also, I jumped at any chance to spend time with my beautiful little butterball of a niece. Wendy had been so excited when she called there was no way I could tell her no. She needed a night out more than anyone I knew; I could hear it in her voice.
I knocked on the front door and waited for someone to answer. The moment Wendy pulled it open, a huge smile stretched across my face at the sight of a grinning, cooing Ivy.
“Pe Pe!” She shouted gleefully, which I knew was how she said Pep Pep.
“There’s my little turkey!” I exclaimed, holding out my arms when she leaned out of her mom’s hold to get to me. “How’s my baby, huh? How’s my baby?” I cooed, propping her plump little body on my hip.
“Thank you so much for coming,” Wendy told me. “Our regular sitter couldn’t watch Ivy on such short notice.”
“No problem,” I smiled. Just like that, all the anxieties I’d been feeling melted away thanks to the happy little girl in my arms. That was, until I turned my attention from the baby to the rest of the people standing in the entryway.
The sight before me, a tall, scantily dressed blonde with long thick hair and stripper heels clinging to Griffin’s side like saran wrap made my blood run cold. My heart plummeted from my chest as I met Griffin’s startled, ice colored eyes.
“What’s this?” I asked, my voice sounding surprisingly calm considering the frigid chill holding my body captive.
Unaware of the arctic shift in the room, Wendy went on to give introductions. “Pepper, this is Kat, a friend from my Pilates class.”
“Lovely to meet you.” I smiled sardonically as my attention bounced between her and Griffin. The woman eyed me up and down, taking in my comfortable ensemble of high-waisted boyfriend jeans, white button-down shirt that I wore tied in a knot at the front, and tan suede high-heeled booties. It was obvious she found me lacking by the faint curl of her lip, only noticeable to someone paying close attention.
“Uh, is everything okay here?” Dex asked, his voice holding a note of bewildered uncertainty at my strange demeanor. I had no clue how to act, how to feel. On one hand, it felt like my chest was ripping apart. It was like I’d fallen back in time four years, only this time the pain hurt so much worse. But on the other I was so furious: at Griffin for making me love him, for lying and giving me hope, for hurting me again, but also at myself for being so weak I allowed him to play his stupid games with me again. I wanted so badly to hate him at that very moment, but the heartbreak was just too strong.
“Yeah!” I answered with false brightness, turning away from the man who was currently ripping me apart inside to face my brother. I didn’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing me crack. “Yeah, it’s all good. You go, enjoy your double date.” Those two words tasted like acid in my mouth, causing my stomach to lurch and churn.
“Pepper…” Griffin’s gruff, low voice was almost enough to send me over the edge. I blinked rapidly, fighting against the tears burning the backs of my eyes. There was no way in hell I was going to cry in front of him.
“You guys should go!” The smile I pasted on my face was so bright it actually hurt. “You don’t want to miss your reservation.”
“Pepper,” Griffin tried again, but Slut-zilla was there.
“She’s right,” the woman purred, “we don’t want to be late.”
I looked at Wendy, knowing she was my best chance of getting them out the door quickly before I lost it. Snuggling Ivy against my chest, I absorbed as much of her sweet warmth as I could, needing it to ground me. “It’s about time you had a night out with adults. Go go. I’ve got this here.”
“You sure?” she asked, looking at me strangely.
“Absolutely. Go, have fun.” I started moving backward just as Griffin took a step in my direction.
“Come on, Griffin,” Kat giggled as she pulled on his arms. I’d never wanted to punch someone as much as I did just then.
“No,” he started. “I think—”
“Go,” I cut in, my tone much stronger and much harder than before. I turned on my heels and headed for the kitchen, the farthest room from the front door. I didn’t want to see him walk out the door, but I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye for another second.
“Pe Pe,” Ivy cried, her tiny fist hitting my jaw lightly. It was crazy how a one-year old child was so in tune with a grownup’s emotions. When I looked her way she leaned in and planted a messy baby kiss on the corner of my mouth.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” I whispered. My voice broke on a choked sob. “Auntie Pep Pep’s okay,” I lied. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. At the sound of the front door closing my already cracking heart splintered and shattered in my chest. “I’m okay,” I repeated, trying desperately to make myself believe it as the tears finally broke loose.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I doing? I couldn’t believe what a fucking idiot I was. I’d been in such a state of disbelief that I’d actually allowed a woman I didn’t even know or like to pull me out the door and into the back of a cab, away from the woman I loved, the woman who looked absolutely fucking wrecked when she’d seen another woman with her arms clinging to me.
It took me until the cab stopped in front of the restaurant to clear the fog I seemed to have been wandering in for the past ten minutes and by the time I came out of it, I wanted to kick my own ass.
“Griff? You okay?” Wendy asked, concern lacing her words as Dex closed the taxi door and stepped onto the sidewalk next to her.
“I have to go,” I announced.
“What?” Dex asked.
“I have to go. This was a huge mistake. I shouldn’t be here.”
I pounded on the roof of the cab to get the driver’s attention before it had a chance to pull away. Just as I wrenched the door open, Dex stepped up next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Whoa. Griff, man. What’s going on? You okay?”
“No, I’m not fucking okay,” I shot back frantically. Every second it took to get back to Pepper was
another second she’d be able to convince herself of something that wasn’t the truth. It was another second she had to re-erect those walls she put around herself to keep me out, to convince herself she was better off without me.
I couldn’t let that happen.
I wouldn’t.
No fucking way was I losing her. Not again.
Standing in the opened door of the cab, I turned to my best friend and laid it all out there, no longer giving a single damn if he took it well or not. “I’m in love with your sister,” I admitted out loud for the first time.
He stared for several seconds, his mouth hanging open. “Wait… what?”
Ignoring the shocked gasp from Wendy, I pushed on. “I’m in love with Pepper. And if I don’t get my ass back there, she’s going to think tonight was something it wasn’t. I can’t let her think that, man. I came over to tell you guys that Pepper and I are together. I didn’t know about…” I turned toward Kat and waved my arm as my lip curled in disgust, “…that. And before I had a chance to explain the situation went completely fuckin’ tits up. I have to fix it.”
I barely registered anything happening around me as the perplexity melted from my best friend’s expression, quickly replaced with poorly-restrained anger. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?!”
“Dex,” Wendy stepped up to her husband, resting her palms on his heaving chest, “calm down.”
“No goddamned way!” he all but shouted. “I won’t fucking calm down! You’ve been sleeping with Pepper? Jesus, Griffin! She’s not one of your whores! She’s my sister!”
“Hey man,” the cab driver called. “You getting in the car or what?”
“Hold on!” I snapped at him, before turning my focus back to the train wreck in front of me. “It’s not like that,” I struggled to make him understand. “I’m in love with her. I want to be with her.”
“You’re not good enough for her!”
“Dex!” Wendy shouted, trying to get her husband’s attention. “Stop it! Just calm down before you say something you don’t mean.”
“I’m not gonna wait here all night!” The cab driver yelled.
“Just hold the fuck on!” I shouted back, using my anger to mask the fact that Dex’s words had just taken a huge, painful chunk out of me, leaving me wrecked and bleeding.
“No. No!” he continued to rage. “I’m not sayin’ anything that isn’t the goddamned truth!” Pushing against Wendy’s hold, he moved closer to me. “Stay the hell away from my sister, Griffin. I mean it. You don’t, me and you got some serious fucking problems. Is that clear?”
I lowered my voice, trying in vain to calm myself down as my heart beat against my ribs so hard I thought it might pound right through my chest. “I’m not gonna do that, brother. She makes me happy. More importantly, I make her happy. I got all the love in the world for you man, you know that. But if you’re telling me I have to choose between you and her, I’m gonna pick her. Every fucking time.”
With that, I turned and climbed into the back of the cab and slammed the door. I didn’t look back at the three people standing at the curb. I couldn’t think about anything other than getting back to Pepper. She was all that mattered. I couldn’t find it in me to give a shit about anyone’s feelings but hers.
I just hoped I could make her see the truth.
“COME ON, SWEETIE,” I coaxed. “It’s green beans. Yum, yum, yum!” Ivy smacked the spoon away from her mouth, sending the puke-colored, foul-smelling baby food flying through the air until it landed with a gross sounding splat on the highchair tray and floor.
I couldn’t really blame her for not wanting to eat something that looked and smelled like something that had been created in a blender as an attempt to save all the close-to-spoiled leftovers in a person’s fridge. I gagged just opening the damned jar.
“You have to eat your vegetables or Mommy said no bananas as dessert,” I held the jar of bananas up to my eyes and curled my lip in disgust. “Although I’m not sure how she can consider this dessert. It literally looks like snot.” Ivy mumbled a bunch of words in baby talk that I was convinced was her agreeing with me about the poor excuse for food.
I scooped up another spoonful of green beans and held them out to my niece, only to have her smack it away again, this time splattering it across my face and shirt. As I sat there in shock, Ivy began to giggle hysterically from her high chair. “Glad you think that’s funny,” I told her, unable to contain my smile at the adorable sound of a baby’s laughter.
Standing from my chair, I went over and grabbed a dishcloth from the sink and began wiping at the ugly greenish-brown stains on my shirt just as the doorbell rang. “Fucking great,” I muttered to myself, low enough where Ivy couldn’t hear the bad word. With Ivy’s help, I’d managed to tamp my depressed mood down for the past half hour. It was amazing how a smiling baby could ease a person’s crushing heartbreak, but that didn’t mean I was in any mood to deal with adult company.
Throwing the soiled towel on the counter, I started for the door, hoping I could get rid of whoever was standing there quickly so I could give Ivy a bath, put her to bed, and spend the remainder of the evening wallowing in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s I’d found in Wendy and Dex’s freezer. It wasn’t an oatmeal crème pie, but it would do.
“I’m coming!” I called out in agitation as the bell rang again, followed by incessant knocking.
“Pepper, open the door!” At the sound of Griffin’s deep, agitated voice my entire body froze solid. “I know you’re in there. Open the damn door!”
At that, my startled surprise morphed into anger. Stomping the last few feet to the front door, I yelled through it, “Go away!”
“I’m not going anywhere, Pepper. Open the door, okay? We need to talk, baby. That wasn’t what you thought it was, I swear to God.”
I hadn’t thought there was anything left of my demolished heart to break, but as he spoke through the door I quickly discovered I was wrong. I gasped at the sharp pain radiating through my chest like a knife wound.
“You’re a liar!” I shouted, unable to keep the agony out of my voice. “Everything you say is a lie! I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say. Just leave, Griffin.”
“I’m not leaving this goddamned stoop until you open the door and listen to me! I didn’t lie to you—”
“Really?” I interrupted with a sarcastic laugh. “So you’re going to tell me you’ve really been working late tonight? I guess everything I saw tonight was a mirage, huh?”
No sound came through the door for several seconds before I finally heard a muffled, “Fuck!”
“Look,” he continued. “I can explain that, okay? I promise, it’s not what you think. Just open the door, sweetness. Please.”
I had to rest my palms and forehead against the cool wood of the door to brace against the onslaught of emotions coursing through me at the anguish in his voice. With every passing second I felt my resolve weakening and I hated myself for it. Luckily, Ivy’s sudden cry from the dining room broke through the thick fog threatening to pull me under and gave me the strength I needed to finish things once and for all.
“You need to leave, Griffin,” I said, thankful my voice didn’t crack.
“No. I’m not leaving! We’re going to talk about this. I’m gonna fix this, Pepper.”
“There’s nothing to fix,” I told him in an emotionless tone. “We’re done. Whatever fucked up game you were playing, it’s over. I’m not doing this with you anymore.”
“Pepper, please. Baby, don’t do this. Don’t…”
The lump in my throat grew so big I was surprised I could speak around it. “It’s already done. I have to take care of Ivy. I suggest you go before one of the neighbors calls the cops.”
I stood there for a few more seconds. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t force my feet to take me away from the door just yet. At Griffin’s next words, the tears I’d been working so hard to keep at bay finally broke loose.
“Fine… I’m gonna
go. But this isn’t over, Pepper. We are not done. I swear to God, baby. I’ll fix this, okay? I promise. Please, just call me when you’re on your way home, please. I’ll come over and we’ll talk.”
Pushing away from the door, I brushed the tears from my cheeks and made my way back into the dining room where Ivy had managed to get ahold of the spoon and had proceeded to fling baby food all over the place.
Attempting to push the insistent ache to the back of my mind I went through the motions of cleaning everything up and getting Ivy ready for a bath, trying to hold the shattered pieces of myself together the entire time.
I kept telling myself that I’d done it once before, I could do it again. The only problem was that this time, I didn’t believe it.
TO MY SURPRISE, BY the time I finished with Ivy’s bath and put her down for the night, Wendy and Dex were pushing through the front door, neither of them looking like they’d just come from a fun night out.
“Hey. You’re home early. I just put Ivy to bed.”
Wendy sat her clutch down on the small table just inside the door, looking worried as Dex prowled up to me, his hands on his hips, his expression a mask of fury. I wasn’t sure why until he spoke. “Really, Pepper? Griffin? What the fuck were you thinking?”
I mirrored his stance and glared, not a big fan of his chastising tone. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he continued, unwisely. “For Christ’s sake, Pep! You’re smarter than that.”
“Smarter than what, exactly?” If he’d been smart he would have gotten the hint by the tone of my voice, to shut up. Unfortunately for him, my brother was very much like me. When he got angry he had the tendency to go off half-cocked, not considering the repercussions.
“Than to get involved with someone like him!” he yelled, throwing his arms out to his side.
Don’t ask me why, but at that very moment I felt the insane need to defend Griffin’s integrity since he wasn’t there to do it himself.
Fire & Ice (The Locklaine Boys #1) Page 16
