* * * *
“How the hell did Cronos get so damned close?” Tavish raged. “The beast was on another fucking continent.”
“We thought he had gone back to the ocean,” Laken said. He ran a hand through his hair. “He must have changed his mind or was turned around. Druid normally knows when anything enters his domain, but he’s been spending more time inside the coven walls. And the last human who ever tried to go beyond the walls was little Perrin, and Druid found her before it was too late.”
Caine was checking Honor over. She was awake, but she hadn’t said anything since Laken had found her, saved her from a brutal death. He had been scared shitless when he found her over the wall after she called—if she hadn’t called—oh God. Now she was so quiet, way too quiet. Laken would have preferred the string of swear words to the silence. Tavish was furious and only Caine’s warning had stopped a verbal threat to Honor that would have terrified her further.
When Laken went to her, Honor gazed through him. Her face was ashen; he could hear her expelled breaths of air. He knew she was aware of him, but part of her couldn’t seem to wrap her head around the idea of his actual existence. She seemed to be disassociating from everything. Caine claimed it was a hysterical paralysis of sorts, a catatonic state. Once more, she had come dangerously close to being scared to death. Laken sat beside her on the bed she was resting on. He took her limp hands into his and applied gentle pressure, wanting her attention.
“Honor, the creature you saw was one of a few we protect you from.” Laken was unsure of how much an ice dweller would understand of science. “The being is a cross between a Kronosaurus and a crocodile. I know you have never seen either and I’m going to do my best to explain. Massive creatures called mammoths became extinct thousands of years ago. Scientists of the twenty-first century were obsessed with bringing them back. Scientists from the past had been experimenting with dozens of new life forms, cloning. Computers advanced to surpass their creators and information was faster as the computers had no emotion—no malice, human and machine complimented each other in the thirst for knowledge. The scientists mixed mammoth DNA with that of an elephant—something else you’ve never seen—damn it. Honor has no idea what a computer is, Tavish, and almost everything is unexplainable.”
Laken looked to Tavish for help. Cloning and mixed breeding would be too far of an idea for her to grasp. If he did explain cloning, Laken had an awful feeling Honor would think he had cloned a Nanya look-alike. Though Honor’s look was basically blank Laken knew she was listening, her eyes flickered with confusion. She didn’t lack intelligence, it was her absolute innocence and naivety that made her ignorant. Laken hoped Tavish would be better able to get a point across.
Tavish took a deep breath and moved closer to stand in front of Honor. Laken could see he was still angry, the death of a breeder female was inexcusable, she had come dangerously close. Honor needed to be saved from herself, she had no idea how vital human females were to the survival of the entire coven. Laken understood this now more than ever.
“Honor,” Tavish said, he stared deeply into her eyes with the whites of his glowing bright. “Do not go over the fence—that’s about as easy as it gets.”
With a furious glance in Laken’s direction, Tavish stormed from the room. “Well shit, he’s gotta know I already tried that,” Laken muttered.
There was no way Laken could explain the strange creatures that survived and thrived in the new ice age. Saber-toothed tigers roamed the vastness of the Earth and Laken could have damned the scientists all over again. Tavish and his men kept a close watch on all of these creatures. Honor still sat quietly, mouth agape. Laken looked over at Caine who stood with a shoulder leaning against a wall.
“What do I do?” Laken asked.
“I’ve been standing here putting myself in her place—let me tell you it’s a sad place to be. She ran from one home feeling betrayed and almost died. She ran from you feeling betrayed and almost died. She doesn’t feel safe, and she can’t make herself feel safe. She’s lost and alone and feels if she gives in, she’s surrendering. But what is she surrendering to?”
Laken looked into Honor’s pale face. “You don’t need to surrender, but you do need to obey the laws. How about a truce?”
Honor gazed directly into his eyes and Laken saw a spark. Very quietly and with no passion in her tone, and sounding defeated but not through, she whispered, “Fuck you.”
It was enough for now.
Chapter 9
The early morning dew glistened when Laken took Honor outside a few days later. She wouldn’t eat anything for breakfast, but he was able to get her to sip at the apple juice she loved so much. Honor gazed about as the children played with a ball. Back and forth they tossed it and Honor seemed transfixed. Laken remembered she hadn’t played as a child. Undoubtedly, she had never seen the toy. He grabbed up a soft round ball the size of a soccer ball.
“Honor, catch,” he called to her.
Too late, Laken realized Honor had no idea what he meant, and the ball smacked her soundly on the nose. She stood there glaring at him in stunned surprise, her fists clenched at her sides. Skipping rope had gone no better; after a few moments, Honor stood with the long contraption wrapped around her while the children tried not to laugh. As regally as possible, she unwound the rope from her hips and legs and moved on.
The children threw a ball for Lovel to catch. The Anivamps wandered the coven and often enough Lovel could be found entertaining the youngsters. Honor had no fear of the Anivamps—why would she when she had come across anyone’s worst nightmare? Cronos had been encouraged to leave the area of the coven; to be safe, Tavish had vamped up security. Laken knew Tavish blamed him for Honor’s recent encounter with the beast. As annoyed as Tavish was with Honor, he reminded Laken she was a handful and he should have been better prepared. Laken wouldn’t make the same mistake twice—it could kill her.
Honor sat near a pond and Laken leaned against a tree watching her, she gazed back.
“You don’t need to follow me everywhere.” Her voice was monotone as it had been since the incident; her face was still ashen.
“I think maybe I do,” Laken replied.
“Is that what you think I need, a vampire to watch over me?”
“You already have a vampire to watch over you. What you need is to trust me.”
“The way Nanya did.”
The barb was meant to sting and it did—even after all these years. “You saw the images, but you refrain from feeling the emotions. Why is that?”
He could see his barb stung in return. “She loved you and you killed her. You betrayed her trust.”
“I would take my life if I thought it would bring her back, but even then we would be separated.” Laken sat beside her. “Nanya was my whole world in that primitive time. I watched her mother give birth to her. Twenty-seven in that era was old to be mating, but I waited for her, I wanted only her. Part of me died with her, maybe the best part of me. So, in a way, she and I will always be together, but it hasn’t stopped me from loving others. There hasn’t been anyone for you to love, Honor. You may never love me, but don’t let it stop you from having feelings for another.”
“And have another betray me? No thanks.”
Sorrow invaded Laken’s thoughts; her cold frozen world had frosted her heart. She had spirit, and he knew she was kind and gentle. Honor looked at the children who laughed and played with so much longing it nearly broke his heart. Her brooding look and twisting hands had him take a closer look. She watched as the ball a child held bounced to another and Laken understood her anxiety, what if she could never play? Would it make her an unlovable mother?
“I will never find love here,” Honor muttered.
“Why do you say that?”
“Love is too free here,” she began. “The love you felt for your Nanya was hers alone. Here the women love the vampires they’re given to and their breeder males.”
“They love their children to
o.” Laken smiled. He understood her concept now. How can love be real if you love so many, when Honor had never been loved at all, not by a single person.
Laken caressed the side of her face with his fingers. Her wounded gaze searched his face. He couldn’t teach her about love—there wasn’t a course she could take; it was an emotion she must learn on her own. In order to feel love she needed to love, she just needed to be shown.
“I feel so empty inside, maybe I can never know how to love,” Honor said.
“You can learn,” Laken said. He had no doubt. “I’m sorry you were hurt by the images I gave you, but the way you reacted proves you can love. I couldn’t hurt you if you didn’t care.”
“You think I’m someone else.”
Laken laughed. “Spitfire, I have no illusion as to who you are. You may look like Nanya, you may even be her reincarnated, but you are Honor through and through. Nanya was another life, another time. This is your time now.”
Honor sighed. “You did hurt me. I don’t want to love you.”
“That won’t stop me from loving you. Thank you for calling out to me.”
“Did I?” she mumbled.
“I will always come to you when you need me.” I swear it. The words leapt into Laken’s mind unbidden and he was caught by surprise. A ball rolled at his feet, saving him from his troubling thoughts.
“Hi, Honor.”
Laken had the urge to scowl when Peter stood before them. The boy shuffled his feet and looked a bit worried at how their reunion would go.
Honor stood up, and to Laken’s annoyance, dismissed him and took Peter by the arm and led him away. Peter was grinning from ear to ear—yes, the boy had no trouble fitting in after the initial anguish over losing his parents. The other children had welcomed him with open arms, especially the teenage girls who would one day choose a male. Laken watched them walk away.
* * * *
Honor went to bed alone that night. Once more she had refused to eat and, thankfully, no one pushed her. Her tummy rolled in anguish. Again she reminded herself of how strong she was, could be and would be. Still, it was lonely not waking and finding Laken smiling at her. He was her only constant in this strange place.
On the nightstand by her bed sat a single red rose. There was a simple tray beside it. A bread called a bagel with cream cheese sat near a glass filled with apple juice. Another mug held a substance Laken said was hot chocolate, something Honor loved. Laken had shown her a bean they ground to make the treat. The liquid substance was a rare gift and Honor was surprised, she had broken a law and gone over the fence, she was unsure why she wasn’t in chains. The idea was saddening when she knew for certain her own clan had locked her away, and yet strangers again would offer a mercy.
“If you won’t eat, then please drink something.” Laken’s voice came from the open doorway.
His broad shoulder leaned against the frame almost filling it. Honor’s tummy grumbled, but she wasn’t eating out of defiance, her heart hurt. Why did it hurt so badly? What was wrong with her? She should ask Caine, she wasn’t ever to leave an illness unspoken of. Caine was nice to her, he expected nothing.
With a heavy sigh, Honor sipped the hot chocolate; it seemed bland, the apple juice was no better. Laken came to sit beside her, he took her hand.
“I spoke with Tavish.” Honor stiffened, she knew Laken would hear her fear as her heart began to pound. “Most of the fault is mine. Tavish understands you were hurt. He understands more you could have been killed.”
“All he wants are babies.”
“What he wants is life, mine, yours, his, ours, Peter’s—everyone’s.”
“Peter said Tia died.”
Laken dropped his head for a moment. “A tragedy. She couldn’t adapt, everything was too frightening. Tavish couldn’t take her back to the iceberg—the people are dead or here. He couldn’t take her to a new iceberg, others would be brought here too, if humans were found. Caine tried to help her cope, Honor. Tia was too afraid of her vampire to let him close; she had witnessed the death in your ice dwelling and had unfortunately been near Rhett, a somewhat angry vampire, when he took the life of a woman in a very unpleasant manner. Tia thought Caine was human and still it didn’t help. Sometimes there are those who just can’t adapt—they are too afraid to change. They are so set in their ways they would rather choose death than life, because their values are more important.”
“I didn’t value the ice-dweller way of life.”
“No, you fought it and won.”
“How did I win? You saw the cost.”
“Saving your life was the cost. Talek would have doomed you all. Yet here you sit, alive. So are Peter and Meg and Nora.”
He always made things sound so right. Was it right? At one time she had thought there must be something when she gained her freedom—it must mean something.
“Honor,” Laken said and gripped her chin. “There is honor in living, and fighting for what you believe in.”
“I’m a prisoner.”
“We are all free to live and love. We are all bound by these walls; it’s why the vampires come back. Do you think we have to stay?”
“We humans do.”
“You went over the wall, is that what you want?”
“No,” she cried. “I need to know where I belong. Everything here is still so new, and I feel so stupid around others who take this place, and the things in it, for granted. I want to fit in.”
Laken smiled at her. He handed her the apple juice. “Then let’s find a way for you to fit in.”
* * * *
Honor stared up at a large structure Laken said was a barn. Honor was skeptical about going in. The smell was a bit—odd, gross, yucky, blah. It was darker inside than out, and Honor peered at the shadows on the walls. In one of the boxes Laken called a stall, she found a strange beast. It was large, had four bizarre feet Laken called hooves, a wide wet nose, and the gangliest looking tail. Honor thought she’d vomit, and placed a fist to her mouth, when a huge tongue licked its way up the beast’s nose.
When the beast made a low bawling noise Honor scooted back, wondering if it was a battle cry. Laken went into the stall and petted the beast’s head.
“It’s a cow, Honor. She gives us milk. Look.”
Laken pointed under the beast and called the four saggy tits an udder. Udderly gross, Honor decided.
“You made me drink white stuff from there? Ew. How does it come out?”
“You said you liked the taste of milk. And watch.”
Laken gripped a teat and squirted Honor in the face with a stream of warm milk. She slowly curled her hands into fists as he laughed and it dripped its way down her chin. He went on to explain how a cow has four stomachs. It chews its cud and is also the tasty meat she had eaten the first day of her arrival.
The next animal Laken taught her about was a pig. It had pink skin, was big, not as big as the cow, and Honor felt relief when Laken told her they didn’t milk it. In a pen were squawking birds Laken declared were chickens. One of her duties would be to collect their eggs—big white and brown things that apparently popped out of their asses, presumably. Honor looked at him like he was insane. Laken actually wanted her to go in the cage with killer birds? Did he not notice their sharp beaks and claw feet?
Honor jumped and spun when a childlike sound bleated behind her. In a larger pen were little white fluffy creatures, and they sounded like they were trying to converse with her.
“Laken, those creatures want someone named BaaBaa. Who is he?”
Laken chuckled and went into the stall; he picked up a tiny young one and brought it to her. “This is a lamb, a baby sheep. We get fleece from these creature’s hides.”
“It doesn’t feel like fur.”
“It’s called wool.”
“Remarkable. I had no idea animals were so useful when alive.” Although, Honor was getting a better understanding of her purpose. Dead, she would be useless, alive she could give birth and aid in the survival of
those around her—who aided in her survival.
Laken put the lamb back into the stall and took her outside to a patch of land he called a garden. A place where the coven’s vegetables and fruits were grown. Laken pulled a brown lump of what looked like shit out of the ground and rubbed the excess dirt off with his fingers.
“Please tell me I haven’t been eating growing shit,” she said wide-eyed.
“Honor it’s a potato, a root, not a piece of poop.”
Looks like some kick-ass shit to me—ouch. “If you say so.”
“When we get to the kitchen, you will see how all of these items of food are prepared.”
Honor scratched at her head in confusion. Nothing grew in ice. Here, Laken was pulling yet another long thing from the ground. It looked like some weird orange cock he called a carrot. Did Mother Nature get horny? There seemed to be a long row of orange cocks to choose from—how satisfying—and a little disturbing knowing humans ate the things after nature was done with them. Was there no end to this gross experience? Honor paused when Laken pulled the next item from the ground. Now this Honor knew, finally! After Laken brushed it off Honor took the large rounded ball-shaped item in her hand and frowned.
“What’s wrong, Honor?”
“It’s not cold.”
“Why would it be cold?”
“Isn’t it a snowball?”
“It’s called an onion. You eat it; you put it in things or on things.”
Honor studied the item then dropped it, almost jumping from her skin. Her body crashed into Laken’s from fear. Laken grabbed her and held her tight.
“What’s wrong, Honor, what is it?”
“You grow human hearts,” she said and gasped.
It was a gruesome sight. On a green vein hung huge, blood red hearts. Some of them rested on the ground, some were squished with their guts spilling onto the dirt. Oh how horrible. As she watched, a bird landed and pecked at the innards. Honor thought she might vomit, she felt her head spinning.
A Vampire To Watch Over Me [Vampire Coven Book II] Page 11
