by Brenda Hiatt
Much as I’m enjoying watching Rigel beat himself up, I say, “The important thing is to keep her safe, right? Even if you don’t much like me being the one doing it. Believe me, I know how that feels.”
His mouth spasms into something he might think is a smile, but it’s definitely not. “Yeah. I guess you do. Anyway…thanks.”
He leaves and I start eating my cold eggs. I’m nearly done before it occurs to me to wonder when M had a chance to tell him about her plan to “fix” things.
CHAPTER 23
cosc damaste (kosk DAHM-uh-stay): damage control
Molly was super apologetic when she woke me the next morning to say her dad was on his way up to meet with me. I stifled my groan so I wouldn’t make her feel worse, but I couldn’t hide my swollen nose and crusty eyes. She didn’t comment, just started laying out clothes for me.
I’d cried myself to sleep after wallowing in every possible worst-case scenario and a horrible black pit of self-loathing. Why, why, why hadn’t I listened to the Council’s warnings? Of course my every move was being watched, just like they predicted. Those cameras shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. But instead of being extra careful, I’d flouted tradition the first chance I got, at that dinner, alienating my few Royal allies.
My detractors were right and my supporters were deluded. How could I possibly be fit to lead Nuath if I was making such stupid mistakes before I even got there? I’d never be Acclaimed now, which meant I’d ruined everything, and the Grentl would probably nuke Mars and Earth and it would all be my fault.
Another cry in a long, hot shower might have made me feel better, but I had to settle for a twenty-second ionic one instead. It got me just as clean, making my skin tingle and my hair lift around my head, but it definitely wasn’t conducive to wallowing. The sink had water, so I splashed some on my face. Then, staring at my slightly-less-puffy face in the mirror, I took a cold, hard look at my options.
Giving up wasn’t one of them, not with the stakes this high. No matter how badly I’d screwed up, I was still the only person who could respond to the Grentl, which meant I somehow had to get to the Royal Palace.
To do that, I’d have to act as responsibly, as regally, as possible from now on, which meant exerting a lot more self-control than I had so far. No snarky digs at Royals, no whining about rules. Maybe I shouldn’t even try to get Rigel reinstated as my Bodyguard…except I’d promised him last night that I would.
No matter what, I had to keep moving forward, at least until I could answer the Grentl and avert whatever threat they posed. Only then could I afford to worry about what the future would hold for Rigel and me. Because if I failed, there might not be any future at all.
Mr. O and breakfast were both waiting when I emerged into the living room. He waited for Jana to taste my food and Molly to serve it to me, then asked them to leave. “I have private business to discuss with the Princess. You can both eat in the Commons while we talk, or take some of this—” he gestured at the table— “across the hall to the officers’ quarters.”
Once they were gone he turned to me, looking almost as tired and stressed as he had last night. “I’ve been working out a strategy to mitigate the damage done last night, since it’s still imperative to get you Acclaimed as quickly as possible.”
Before he could continue, I leaned forward, using all the “push” I could. “Are you sure the best thing wouldn’t be to announce the truth about Rigel and me? About the graell? If everyone on Mars is going to find out about that video anyway—”
“I told you last night why we can’t do that. Perhaps someday, after you’re Acclaimed, after the people have a degree of confidence in you as a leader. But now, when your opponents’ main weapons are your youth and inexperience? It would play right into their hands, give them enough ammunition to derail your Acclamation entirely. However, if we can convince people that Rigel was at fault, that you were misled by gratitude—”
“What?” I rocked back in my chair, horrified. “No! No way are you making Rigel a scapegoat when it was more my fault than his.”
“I knew you wouldn’t like the idea, but consider how much is at stake. I learned during my Resistance days that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. As a leader, you—”
“Forget it,” I snapped. “No leader worth her salt would let someone else take the blame for her own screwups. You sound like Allister. Remember what he tried to do to Rigel? And how Rigel almost died?”
He didn’t look convinced. “Perhaps I should speak to Rigel. If he—”
“Don’t you dare! It would be just like Rigel to…to fall on his sword, if he thought it was for my sake. Please, there has to be a better way.”
After a long, frowning moment, he sighed. “Perhaps if we move quickly enough we can have you Acclaimed before word of that video spreads throughout Nuath. Unlikely, but I suppose it’s worth a try. Can you tell me now what it was you needed to discuss with Rigel so privately that night?”
Caught off guard by the direct question, and positive the truth was a bad idea, I stumbled a bit over my answer. “Just…stuff about our bond, and…other things we haven’t been able to talk about for a while. Like…Sean.”
After regarding me narrowly for a long moment, he nodded. “Yes, the current situation has been difficult for all three of you. Unfortunately, this incident will likely make things worse.”
No kidding. “Since we’re definitely not making Rigel a scapegoat, what do you suggest I do?”
“Rise above the gossip. Demonstrate your worthiness in any way you can. Allow nothing else of a negative nature to attach to you.” In other words, what I’d just told myself, in the bathroom. “Your best weapon is your likability, as we’ve seen in Bailerealta and aboard this ship. Therefore, I suggest you be yourself…your best self.” He smiled, making me feel a little better.
While we ate, he gave me a quick rundown of what to expect when we reached Mars: crowds that might be welcoming or hostile or both, an official reception committee, and an escort to the lodgings had been prepared for me in Tullymayne.
“Why not the Palace? If we stay there, maybe I could…do what I need to do without getting Acclaimed.”
“Unfortunately, that’s not an option. Traditionally, it is a major event when a newly Acclaimed Sovereign enters the Palace for the first time, even if he or she lived there previously. Even your first visit to Thiaraway likely won’t happen until after Acclamation, as there is more ceremony—and a parade—associated with that.”
More stupid traditions and ceremonies! But I didn’t say that out loud.
He went on to explain that to declare for Acclamation, I should have an approval rating of at least 80%, or at least one significantly higher than any would-be rival. If I couldn’t manage that, and quickly, the contest for leadership would likely be long, contentious and destructive for Nuath and its people.
“Our people have never faced a situation like this,” he reminded me, “so there are no laws or even traditions in place to smooth the process. While I would like to believe the majority are too averse to violence for things to degenerate to that point, there are no guarantees. Particularly if more factions, Royal or otherwise, enter the fray.”
“On other ships coming from Earth, you mean?”
“As well as those who have come out of hiding since Faxon’s overthrow, like Nels Murdoch, the Interim Governor. There are also the Royals who were released from Faxons prisons who are now being treated for memory erasure and other mental trauma. Assuming they recover.”
“Can they really cure memory erasure?”
“We don’t know yet, though some therapies apparently show promise.” He paused and I remembered this was personal for him, because of his daughter Elana. “In any event—”
He continued with his analysis of the current political climate of various Nuathan towns and villages, and which factions I most needed to be concerned with. It was a lot, and it kept me from working out a solid argument
for Rigel’s reassignment as Bodyguard. I didn’t want to bring it up until I could be super convincing, which meant Rigel and I should probably brainstorm it—silently—over lunch or dinner in the Commons.
Finally, Mr. O stood to leave.“Oh, I nearly forgot. I think it would be best if you remain here in your suite for the rest of the trip, certainly for the rest of the day. Let the worst of the gossip run its course. Otherwise you’re likely to be subjected to unpleasant comments that might tempt you to say something that could damage your image further.”
“But—” I broke off, reluctantly realizing he was right. If someone made a snarky crack about Rigel, I probably wouldn’t be able to resist defending him, and that would set things back even further. “Okay. Fine.”
For now.
I made the best of my virtual imprisonment, reminding myself repeatedly that this was the nicest place I’d ever stayed. I studied my book scroll, then practiced Taekwondo forms in the big living room when I started getting stir-crazy. Jana watched me with interest, then offered to teach me a few non-Taekwondo self-defense moves, which helped pass more time.
By dinnertime, I could swear I was already feeling twinges of Rigel-deprivation. So instead of watching the mindless comedy Molly suggested after we finished eating, I went to my room to fine-tune my arguments for getting him back.
When Mr. O’Gara arrived for breakfast the next day, I was ready. I bided my time at first, picking at my food while he updated me on the mood aboard the ship. The general outrage over the contents of that unauthorized video seemed to be fading, he said. Some were even making excuses for me, since it was common knowledge that Rigel had saved my life back in October.
I immediately seized that opening. “So, about Rigel.” Mr. O frowned, but I continued anyway. “Since you won’t let us tell the truth, shouldn’t he be reinstated as my Bodyguard when we land? Jana has duties on the Quintessence, so I won’t have one at all then.”
“I’m sure a new Bodyguard can be assigned fairly quickly. In fact, one may already have been appointed, based on what the Council said before we left Jewel. We need to do everything possible to squelch speculation, so the less you and Rigel are seen together and, forgive me, the more you are seen with Sean, the better.”
I’d expected this, so I moved to my next point. “But if it’s already known in Nuath that Rigel is my Bodyguard, won’t it cause even more gossip for him to suddenly not be? Maybe if we pretend nothing happened—nothing important enough to have him replaced, anyway—people will pay less attention to rumors.”
When he began to look thoughtful, I pressed forward eagerly. “Also, don’t you remember how sick we both got when we were apart for ten days last Thanksgiving? I’m already not feeling that great after just a day and a half away from him. I won’t look much like a leader if I’m too weak to go out in public.”
“As I recall, you were both given an antidote. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” he said drily.
“You can’t know that. It’s never been tested, since Rigel and I have never been apart longer than a day or so since getting it. Is it worth the risk?”
“I have perfect faith in our Scientists.” But I sensed a thread of uncertainty.
“Even they said it should be tested, remember? That’s the whole reason Rigel and I ran away, to keep them from separating us again. Besides, it’s not like Rigel has any place to go once we reach Mars.”
Mr. O regarded me for a long moment, clearly trying to decide whether those concerns were valid or if I just wanted to keep my boyfriend close by. Finally, he gave a small shrug.
“It’s true that we should downplay things as much as possible, and that Rigel can’t be left on his own, especially as he has never been to Nuath before. I’ll consider the options.”
“Thank you.” It was the most I’d really expected. “And I promise neither of us will breach protocol again. At all.”
Before he left, I suggested I should have my last dinner in the Commons that night, since it would be my only opportunity to demonstrate to everyone aboard that I was rising above the gossip. To my relief, he agreed.
I entered the Commons that evening, head held high, and was massively relieved to immediately sense Rigel’s brath. I didn’t even have to move my head to zero in on him, sitting alone at a table in the corner.
While Molly went to get my food, I headed straight for the table where Sean sat with a couple of other teens, careful not to so much as look Rigel’s way. Desmond saw me coming and quickly vacated the chair on Sean’s right, which made Sean look up.
“Dad said you might come down, but I thought maybe you’d changed your mind. You doing okay?”
I shrugged. “I’ve been better.”
“Me too.” I was surprised to sense irritation from him. “People are acting sorry for me and it’s getting pretty old.”
Oh. “Sorry.” At his scowl, I realized that was exactly the wrong thing to say. “It’s got to be better than what they think about me right now. So, what time do we land tomorrow? And what should I expect?”
Clearly relieved by the change of subject, he started talking about Arregaith, the town where the spaceport and most supporting industries were located, and nearby Tullymayne, where our temporary lodgings would be. Mr. O had already told me all this, so I just nodded and smiled while reaching out mentally for Rigel.
I’ve missed you so much! How are you holding up? He didn’t answer right away, so I asked again, focusing harder.
Sorry, I heard you before. But ‘fine’ would be a lie and the truth would make you feel worse, so I didn’t know what to say. Even from twenty yards away I could feel how upset he was, a combination of frustration, anger and guilt. Especially guilt.
Please stop blaming yourself, Rigel! It was way more my fault than yours. Anyway, I have some good news.
Molly interrupted me with my dinner then, which was probably just as well, since Sean’s expression implied he’d noticed my distraction. I wasn’t hungry, but pretending to eat would make it easier to disguise what I was really doing. I picked up my fork.
So, my news. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked Mr. O into letting you be my Bodyguard again once we land, so we just have to hang tight till tomorrow.
Yeah? That would be great. I hate not being able to protect you.
His response reassured me that Mr. O had kept his word and not tried to talk Rigel into martyring himself for my sake—or, rather, for the sake of “the greater good.”
We’ll figure out a plan. We always do. I projected all the confidence I could with the thought, but didn’t get much enthusiasm back. Of course, he probably wasn’t feeling great—physically—either.
Not so much, he sent in response to that thought. Sorry you’re not feeling well, either. Anyway, I should go. I’m done eating and that Jana woman is watching me.
His mental tone bothered me. Are you mad at me?
No, just at myself. Love you, M. He was already walking out of the Commons on his last thought.
I’ll see you here tomorrow, for the landing, I thought to him a little frantically as he left. I love you, Rigel. Always!
“Do you want to stay and watch the movie?” Sean asked as I continued to pick at my food.
I shook my head. “I’m a little soured on movies in the Commons, sorry. Besides, I should go to bed early, since tomorrow will probably be a long day.”
Not wanting to look cowardly, I hung around until the movie started and eventually a few people came up to me. Some even made a point of telling me they still supported me, “no matter what.” I tried to find that comforting, but a lot of the emotions I sensed around me were less than friendly.
Still, I thanked each person warmly, no matter what I felt off them, figuring it couldn’t hurt. After half an hour of interaction, I was too drained to do more than drag myself back upstairs to my suite.
Molly woke me early the next morning so we could finish packing before heading down to the Commons for the landing.
The big room w
as again set up theater-style, people grabbing food and drinks from the recombinators before buckling themselves in to watch the screen. I sat next to Sean in the front row with Jana sitting where Rigel had before. He didn’t seem to be here yet.
“What did you decide?” I whispered across to Mr. O when Molly went to get my breakfast.
He gave me a tight smile. “That we’ll give it another try. For now.”
Relief washed through me, though I belatedly realized that Sean’s sour expression—and emotions—should have answered my question before I even asked. With a smile I couldn’t suppress, I looked up at the viewscreen.
By now the Red Planet filled nearly the whole thing, looking every bit as dusty and lifeless as it had in every picture I’d ever seen from NASA’s orbiters and rovers. Even though we’d been decelerating for hours, our approach still seemed awfully fast to me. A few minutes later, nibbling on a pastry with my eyes glued to the screen, I wondered how soon I’d be able to recognize our landing port. It was probably well hidden, like the one in Bailerealta. Maybe that flat spot off to the left—?
But even as I thought it, the Quintessence banked off to the right. We were close enough now that the planet blocked out the horizon. For a moment I could make out hills and valleys and crevices, but soon we were so close and moving so fast that everything below us turned into a reddish blur.
We must have gone nearly a third of the way around the planet before we slowed enough that I could make out features of the landscape again, closer now, and clearer. The land darkened as we moved away from the sunlit side, but whether it was just before sunrise or just after sunset, I wasn’t sure. I saw another likely flat spot in the twilight but we passed that, too, then descended into what looked like an impossibly small depression between three rocky peaks.
Just like in Bailerealta, a bright X appeared on the ground, then four triangular panels receded to reveal an opening that barely looked big enough to accommodate the Quintessence. I wondered if they used some kind of tractor beam, or if the pilot had to be that good. Either way, we descended smoothly through the portal, then down a long, long shaft.
