A laugh burst from me before I could cover it up with an adult-worthy frown. “I’m not a teenager anymore, Danielle. I need someone dependable. I like that we’re taking it slow. Decisions made based on lust never work out well, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Emotion burned my sinuses, and I knew I needed to change the subject. “Why are you raiding my closet?”
She sighed and held up my red dress. “It’s your fault.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Mine?”
She grinned. “Yep. All your sexy clothes were in hiding.”
Well, I couldn’t argue with that. I hadn’t needed anything remotely sexy in years. “Why are you needing sexy clothes?”
“Tall, dark, and sexy from accounting finally asked me out. I just know that someone that buttoned-up is hiding something very delicious under that suit.”
I chuckled. Danielle had been after the hot-bodied accountant for months. “That doesn’t explain why you’re raiding my closet. I don’t have anything that will fit you.”
Winking, she stood in front of the mirror. “That’s the point.” Stripping off her yoga pants and tank top, she tugged the dress over her head.
While I was a little taller than average, Danielle still had a good two inches on me. She was a raven-haired knockout beauty, and the red dress was a gorgeous bold color against her olive skin. It fell teasingly short on her thighs and showed more than just a hint of cleavage.
It was obvious that Danielle had no plans to take anything slow tonight.
“You better wear panties under that dress, and you need to have it dry-cleaned afterwards. And for the love of God, do not tell me any stories of fingering in the restaurant or I will never be able to wear that dress again,” I said with a shudder.
She grinned, smiling at me in the mirror. “Please. Dr. Don would have a heart attack if he saw you in it. You haven’t worn this dress in years. You haven’t worn anything this sexy since…” Her voice trailed off and her smile fell. “I’m sorry, Jillian.”
Waving my hand, I stood and leaned over to grab the red stilettos that matched the dress. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not apologizing for what I said. I’m apologizing for what I’m about to say.” She took in a deep breath before blurting, “It’s been nearly a decade, and you need to start living again. Don isn’t going to cut it, and you know it.”
Ignoring her, I handed her the shoes and smiled at her reflection. “You look beautiful. Have fun tonight and make safe decisions.”
“It’s like talking to a brick wall.”
“I like Don,” I protested.
She exhaled an overly dramatic breath. “You’re the therapist. What would you say to someone who lies to themselves on a regular basis?”
I pointed a finger at her. “Behave, or I’ll tag along on your date and show him that video of you trying to dance on the bar at Tiki’s.”
Gasping, she whirled around. “You were supposed to delete that video!”
I grinned. “Like I said, make safe decisions. Are you going to clean my room before you leave tonight?”
Danielle gave me a sorry look, wrinkling her nose. “I would, but I really need to shave everything and put on my special lotion. I’ll clean it up tomorrow. Promise. Just sleep in my bed tonight because I don’t plan on coming home.” Flashing me a grin, she grabbed the shoes and sauntered to the bathroom.
Sinking back onto the mattress, I took a look at all the clothes sprawled around me. I practically lived in dress pants and blazers now. Picking up a skirt, I fingered the hem and took a shuddering breath. The last time I wore this, I was about to give an oral presentation in front of my class and professor. Brendan knew that I wasn’t great with public speeches and helped to make me feel less nervous.
“Try imagining them all naked,” he whispered in my ear as he slammed me up against the wall. Hooking a finger over the waistband of my panties, he yanked them down and curved that same finger inside me until I was panting.
“I don’t think this is what people have in mind when they say that,” I moaned. He was going to wrinkle my skirt, but I didn’t even care. “Brendan, please.” I clawed at his pants until he chuckled and unzipped them for me.
“We have to be fast. I was going to be late but… oh god, yes.” He slid inside me, and suddenly, I wasn’t nervous at all about my presentation. I just needed this.
I just needed him.
Gritting my teeth, I shoved the clothes on the floor. I was not that girl anymore, and I refused to spend the night walking down memory lane.
Brendan was my ex-husband for a reason, and I was never going to have to see him again.
CHAPTER TWO
Brendan
Snagging the keys from the antique table sitting in the foyer of my childhood home, I tossed them in the air and caught them with a quick, frustrated swipe of my hand. After tossing them into the bowl I used for such things, I rifled through the mail that had piled up on the table in my absence, then rifled through it again. Damn. I still couldn’t find the notes I needed.
“Kim,” I yelled. When she didn’t immediately answer, I narrowed my eyes and yelled again.
Sashaying into the doorway, my sister cocked her eyebrow. There was no mistaking us for anything but siblings. We shared the same dark hair and the same blue eyes. All traits that we got from our father, Jackson Ward. Our mother had been blonde and petite and soft-spoken. There was nothing soft-spoken about Kim.
“You bellowed?” she asked in a deliberately bored tone.
Sighing, I rubbed my temples. “Why is all the mail on the table?”
She propped her fists on her hips. “Because the last time you went to a horse auction, I tried to organize the mail like a sane person, and you got upset.”
“I got upset because you threw away an important letter.”
“And I told you that I never got that letter,” she snapped back. “So this time, it’s all there on display for you to sort yourself.”
Gritting my teeth, I tapped on the table. “There was a note right here when I left.”
“I’m sure it’s still there.”
As she sauntered to the refrigerator, I half sighed and half growled. Four years my junior, Kim always had an attitude, but things had only gotten worse since our father died two weeks ago. “Is there something you want to say to me?”
“What would I want to say to you?”
I bit back the urge to yell. “Maybe you could explain why you’re so upset with me?”
“Upset?” She blinked in mock innocence as she pulled out a bottle of beer. “Why would I be upset? I mean, you waited three whole days after burying Dad before you left for a week to go look at horses. And you’re leaving again two hours after getting back to talk about a business deal that Dad didn’t even want. Why would I be upset about that?”
“It’s ten o’clock in the morning, Kim.” I gave a pointed look at the bottle in her hand. “You’re not seriously going to drink that, are you?”
She turned it up, drinking most of it in one long swallow. When she was finished, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, giving me an I dare you to say something else eyebrow raise. “I’m an adult, Brendan. I can drink whenever I want. Oh wait, that’s right. You still think I’m a kid. I guess Dad did too.”
If we treated her like a kid, it was because she acted like one. “If this is about the fact that my name is now on the deed for the ranch, then—”
“You left us!” she yelled, surprising me so much I took a step backward. “You went off to your fancy school in the city and told Dad that you didn’t want anything to do with Ward Ranch, then you came crawling back after your marriage fell apart, and now you’re supposed to be in charge? Because you’re the oldest?” She snarled. “Because you’re a boy? I should have a stake in this ranch! This is my land too!”
Red-faced, my sister was practically in tears. Tossing the mail aside, I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Instead of punching
me like I expected, she sagged against me and started to sob. Her anger had nothing to do with the ranch. I would never cut her out of the profits, and she knew it. This was about our father.
My relationship with him had always been rocky, but she’d always been Daddy’s girl. They had a bond that nothing could break, and I knew that she was grieving. And hurt that he’d left most everything to me, not her.
I had been an ass. After the funeral, I couldn’t get away fast enough, and I didn’t realize that she would need me. Even though she was mouthy enough to set my teeth on edge, she’d always been independent. “It’s okay, Kim. I’m right here.”
“Do you even miss him, Brendan? Even a little?”
I stroked her hair. “Of course I do.”
Sniffing, she leaned back and studied me. “Do you promise me that this deal with Harry is for the good of Ward Ranch and not just to satisfy some personal agenda?”
I bit back a sharp retort, keeping my voice level. “This isn’t just about doubling our land and horses. Blackwell’s ranch borders ours. No way in hell will I let a land developer buy it and put up some damn subdivision that will drive us all crazy.”
She wiped the tears and pulled out of my arms as she shook her head. “Harry would never allow that.”
“He might not, but he’s not as young and healthy as he used to be, and I don’t like to think about what his bastard son will do if he gets his hands on the land. The asshole will probably split it into tiny lots and build cheap houses as close to each other as possible. I need to buy it now while Harry is still in control.”
Kim stared at my face as if searching for the truth. After a few moments, she nodded, apparently having seen the sincerity in my eyes. “Okay, but you will take time to mourn, right?”
Kissing her on the forehead, I gave her a cheeky smile before I grabbed my keys again. “Put away the beer, Kim. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Before she could stop me, I escaped outside and let the screen door slam behind me. I wanted to help her but talking about my father’s death wasn’t really something I was ready to do. He was my father, and I loved him, but the man had never approved of anything I’d ever done. From girls I dated to the grades I made, nothing was ever good enough. When I decided to go to college in L.A., he told me never to darken his door again. When I got married, he cut me out of the will.
Then again, when things went to shit, and I needed to go home, he had been there for me. Sure, he hadn’t been able to stop from saying, “I told you so,” at least a hundred times. But he had been there for me in the end. He’d taken me back in, gave me the space to lick my wounds. Of course, we still fought, but I grew to appreciate the ranch in a way I never had before.
At the time, it had just been a hideout for me, but now it was home again, just like it had been home since I was a baby. As a teenager, I hadn’t appreciated the beauty of the house, the land. I hadn’t appreciated the hard work of caring for it. I’d only wanted out.
Now, I wanted to protect it in a way I couldn’t fully comprehend myself. And not just for me. For my sister too. Save the way of life that was slowly getting eaten up by developments and people who wouldn’t appreciate the land.
I wanted — no, needed — to finalize this sale.
For Dad, a voice in my head whispered.
And for me, I realized. For my sister, and for our next generations, if we were so blessed to have children and grandchildren of our own.
My throat tightened at the thought, and I had to cough to clear the emotion away.
Shit. I didn’t need to think about all that. I needed to think about the future, not the past. Look forward, not back.
And the future meant growing and expanding, protecting this beautiful area.
Harry’s land might border ours, but it wasn’t the house next door. It would have been quicker to take a horse, but I thought I might need to run to town afterwards, so I took my black Beamer instead. Driving out of Ward Ranch, I went around the open California State parklands that bordered the both of us. I liked to drive fast, and the car hugged every curve of the valley.
Since returning to Ward Ranch, I’d managed to triple our profits. We were a wealthy family, and I’d put the money to good use. We were responsible for the main road that ran through Springs County and the access roads into the parks. We helped improve the storefronts and invested in the hotel to expand it. Now, we had enough tourists coming in so that most of the small businesses were turning profits, something that hadn’t happened in years.
The Blackwells were doing well, but they weren’t nearly as wealthy as my family. Harry loved the horses, but he knew that his son didn’t feel the same. He wanted to make sure that the ranch was taken care of before he died, but he wasn’t about to sell to just anyone. He was a particular man, and he and my father had never gotten along.
I needed to impress.
Dirt flew up from beneath my tires, and I parked in a cloud of dust. Once it settled, I emerged. Stripping off the jacket I’d pulled over my shirt and jeans, I rolled up my sleeves and headed to the front porch.
Harry appeared on the other side of the screen. The man was in his seventies, and despite the rumors of his failing health, he looked just as distinguished as the first time I’d met him. Dressed in jeans and flannel, he eyed me as he opened the door, and I knew that I’d made the right decision in scrapping the jacket.
“Brendan,” he greeted in a low and gravelly voice. “You’re on time. I appreciate a prompt man.”
Reaching out, I shook his hand. “Harry, I’ve been looking forward to this meeting for a long time.”
A silver eyebrow raised to his silver hairline. “You’ve been looking forward to buying my land for a long time?”
“I’ve been looking forward to meeting with you,” I said with a wry smile. “We’ve been neighbors since before I was born, but you’ve been a hard man to pin down lately.” In fact, I hadn’t seen the older man more than a handful of times in the past twenty years.
He led me through the foyer of the large farmhouse and into his office. When he closed the door, he sighed and ran his hand through his thinning hair. “Been doing a lot of traveling. Thinking.”
Sitting in the large leather chair across from his mahogany desk, I studied him. He looked upset. “Nothing wrong with traveling.”
“There is when you had a wife and a son at home.” His gaze grew distant as he sat down, and I saw the tremble in his hand. “I’m going to be honest with you, Brendan. This meeting isn’t about the sale of the land.”
I stirred in my seat, unease rippling through me. “It isn’t?”
“I’ve watched you over the last few years. You’ve done great things for Ward Ranch. You love the land, you love the horses, and you have a head for business. You certainly have the money to buy me out, so I’d be a fool to turn you down.”
Would it really be this easy?
“Great.” Gripping the arms of the chair, I leaned forward. “Let’s talk details.”
A faint smile spread over his face. “Hold on there, cowboy. The truth is that you aren’t the only one interested in my land, but you’re my favorite contender. Hell, I haven’t even decided if I want to sell the land. Dennis told me just last week that he was interested in keeping it in the family.”
“I don’t understand.” A feeling of suspicion tugged at me. Dennis left Springs County for the city the moment after he graduated from high school. He was far too pampered to get his hands dirty on a horse ranch, and there certainly wasn’t anyone in the county who could outbid me for the land. Why was Harry having second thoughts now?
His chair creaked as he leaned back and appeared to relax. “When you get to be my age, you start to face the failures in your life. Mine are glaring. I’ve mended most of the fences I’d previously burned, but my wife died hating me, and I’m just not building a relationship with my son. The truth was that I’d spent too much of my time worried about my business than my family, and I don’t wa
nt you to make the same mistakes. Buying my land is a huge responsibility. Doubling your ranch will take almost all of your time. I don’t want my land to be the reason you never find fulfillment in your life. Love. Family.”
Stunned, my jaw dropped open. I’d had a feeling that Harry was going to be a hard nut to crack, but really? Not having a family was going to be my downfall?
“Harry, with all due respect—”
He held up his hand. “You’re upset. I can see that. I haven’t made my decision, but your competition is happily married with two kids and a strong family ethic. You, on the other hand, are notorious for your one-night stands and randy behavior. I want to see you prioritizing what’s important in your life. I’ve decided to hold my final decision for a few months.”
A few months? What did he expect me to do? Get married and knock up my wife so I could buy his land?
The thought was a low blow, and pain lanced through me. Pain. Not the anger I expected.
What Harry didn’t know was that there had been a time when family had been a priority. When I’d promised to love a woman until death did us part, but it wasn’t our death that parted us, and I wasn’t planning on walking down that same path again anytime soon.
Relationships sucked.
No. That wasn’t true. Relationships were fine, it was the getting married part that sabotaged them. It was like a couple of rings and a marriage certificate turned everything to shit.
Before I could argue more, Harry rose and held out his hand. “We’ll speak again, Brendan. Until then, reflect on your life. When we get together again, I expect you to have a compelling argument for how you plan to balance your work responsibilities with the rest of your life.”
A plan?
The old man wanted me to make a fucking life plan in order to buy his ranch?
He was bat shit crazy.
Instead of saying something that might get me kicked out of his home, I shook his hand and nodded. What could I say, anyway? I’d planned to devote the rest of my life to the ranch, and I had no idea how in the hell I’d convince Harry that a family just wasn’t in my future.
Reclaiming My Wife Page 2
