She was every bit as sinfully sweet as I remembered. In an instant, I was hers again. How could I have ever walked away from this?
Sliding my arms around her, I pulled her up against me, taking the kiss I’d wanted since walking into her therapy session. Her dress slid up her thighs, and she automatically pushed up against my erection and whimpered. Fuck. I could have her right now. Unzip my pants, slide inside her, and thrust into her until her gasping moans echoed off the walls.
Hungry for more, I deepened the kiss. Memories and desire swirled inside of me until I lost all logic. “Jillian,” I moaned as I dug my fingers into her naked thighs. Wanting to feel her wetness, I inched my fingers up and under until I could brush them along the soaking wet fabric of her panties.
“Wait! We can’t do this.” Shivering, she grabbed my hands and pulled them up. There was raw fear in her eyes, and I stepped back and gently eased her down the wall. Without breaking eye contact, I tugged her dress down.
“I shouldn’t have done that, Jillian, and I’m sorry. There’s a time and a place, and this obviously isn’t it, but we’re not done, and I think that proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
She ran her hands through her hair and finished straightening her dress. “I can’t do this.”
“You don’t belong with someone like Don, Jillian. You can’t use him to hide, and we both know it. You can fight me if you want, but I’m not going to make this easy. If you’re really so sure that you’re ready to put all of this behind you, then prove it. Spend the next few months with me, and when it’s over, you’ll never have to see me again.”
Her hands were shaking, and she shook her head. “I have to go. I’ll make Don late for his reservations. I’ll see you tomorrow at the coffee shop.” She ignored my gaze as she hurried away. The dying echoes of her heels clicking on the floor followed her all the way to the office, but I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
“You’re the guy who’s been following me around campus for a month.” She pursed those sultry lips as she lowered her sunglasses. “See something you want?”
“Most definitely.” Without any hesitation, I reached out and cupped her chin. “I want your name.”
“Jillian Quinn, but if you call me Jill, I’ll make sure you walk funny for a week.”
“Strange, I was going to promise you the very same thing if you have dinner with me. But I don’t think that we were talking about the same thing.”
Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes widened, and she smiled. “How many times a day do you say that to a girl?”
“I’m hoping that you’ll be the last, Jillian Quinn. So, what do you say? Want to have a little fun with me?”
But that had been the old Jillian.
This new Jillian didn’t look like she had fun anymore.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Jillian
“Don! What a surprise running into you.”
This was the seventh upright asshole in a row to stop by the table. I hadn’t even begun to dig into my dinner. Don had already chastised me for trying to eat while he was holding a conversation, but he never bothered to introduce me to any of them, and while they gazed openly at me, they never asked.
I would have felt humiliated, but my mind was elsewhere. I could still feel the phantom lingering of Brendan’s touch. I tingled and ached in places that I hadn’t tingled and ached in a long time. I was bothered on a physical and mental level.
And, if I were being honest with myself, a spiritual level as well.
Gripping the fork in my hand, I tried not to glare at the board member. All their conversations were the same. Fake smiles. Talk about change. Empty promises to call. They were leading Don on, hinting at a seat that might be emptying soon, and Don was eating it up.
“Excellent. We’ll be in touch,” the board member said as he pumped Don’s hand and walked away.
Not wasting any time, I jabbed at my chicken and shoved it in my mouth. Now, I was angry eating. The more I saw Brendan, the more my old self shined through. I didn’t even know who I was angry at.
“Slow down,” Don commanded. “You look positively feral. What has gotten into you? We’re supposed to be enjoying a nice dinner together.”
The slow burn fired into a hot flame. “What has gotten into me? We were served our food fifteen minutes ago. My chicken is cold. Every time I try to eat—”
As if right on cue, someone else appeared at the table. “Don! Jimmy told me that you were here. How long has it been?” The old man clapped Don on the back, and I pushed my chair back and stood.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to go powder my nose,” I growled. Stabbing the chicken with my fork, I grabbed it and my glass of wine and headed for the patio. I could feel both men staring at me as I bumped the door with my hip and stepped out.
The restaurant was situated on a small lake. It was crowded, and there was a line of people outside waiting to be seated. I’d asked Don if we could eat outside, but he wouldn’t have been seen, so we were in the very center of the damn restaurant instead.
Customers turned to stare at me as I leaned against the railing and nibbled at the chicken. I didn’t care. I needed some fresh air, and I needed to eat.
“Ma’am?” A waiter approached me hesitantly. “Would you like a plate?”
“No, thank you,” I said politely. “This works just fine.”
He looked at me like I was a crazy person and nodded. “Sure. Okay. Enjoy, I guess.”
“Oh, I will.” Taking a large bite, I chewed until the chicken was practically liquid before I could swallow, although I wasn’t sure why I bothered. If I choked and died on this patio, at least I wouldn’t have to deal with the humiliation of facing Don again.
Or the pain of facing Brendan again.
Chasing the cold chicken with the wine, I took a deep breath. Brendan had made some good points. Should I come completely clean and tell Don about my previous marriage, about my current marital status, and most of all, about the kiss. I didn’t hide things from the men I dated, even if they were pissing me off. But could I trust him with the truth? Maybe use him to test the waters of public opinion? Maybe Danielle was right and nobody would even care about my past, and I was worried over nothing.
After I finally finished my chicken, I steeled myself for Don’s reaction for leaving the table so suddenly and walked back to the table. Although he smiled pleasantly at me, I could see the fury in his eyes. “You needed to powder your nose on the patio?”
“I prefer the natural light. Dim bathroom lights make it hard to see all the flaws,” I said lightly. “My dinner was delicious, by the way.”
“You are acting like a child, Jill. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
“Don, how did you think this was going to go? You asked me to get all dressed up and take me to a nice dinner, and then you won’t even let me eat. What did you expect me to do?”
“Jill, you are going to need to get used to situations like this. As I am sure you have heard, there is a seat opening up on the board, and I am a strong contender. You should be pleased with this. I could be in a situation to help you, Jill. I know that your dissertation is weak, and I could make sure that certain doors open for you that might not otherwise be available.”
“My dissertation is not weak!” I snapped before I took a deep breath. This wasn’t how I wanted this conversation to go, but we were going to circle back around to the fact that Don, who’d only been encouraging before, now thought I wasn’t good enough. “Look, you’re right. I have been distracted. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Perhaps you could let me finish my dinner with some peace and quiet. I have a feeling that you are going to introduce more drama into my life. I have to say, Jill, I am disappointed in you. I watched you for a couple of years before I chose you. I thought you were a quiet and serious woman.”
“Chose me?” I wrinkled my nose. “Chose me for what, exactly?”
“To be by my side, of course.
Finish your wine. I think we’ll be skipping dessert.”
“What do you say we skip dessert?” Brendan’s gaze bored into mine as I finished the cheeseburger. The fast-food wrappers were still on the dashboard of his car, and the ninety-nine-cent hot-fudge sundaes were melting. He’d claimed that he’d made reservations at a swanky restaurant, but we hadn’t actually made it there.
I hadn’t even bothered to put on my panties as we dressed and headed to the local burger place for dinner. I couldn’t even remember the last time someone had made me scream like that. He was the first man who’d promised to rock my world and actually followed through.
Leaning across the console of his car, I dipped my finger in the ice cream and spread it across his lips. Licking them clean, I gave him a devilish smile. “I don’t skip dessert. Especially when I have a craving.”
“God, yes.” He dragged me over the console until I straddled him and scooped some ice cream on his fingers. Lifting my shirt, he swiped the cold cream over my nipples. I leaned back as he feasted and moaned.
“Jill! Did you hear a word I said?”
I gave myself a mental shake. “Yes. You want to skip dessert. I think that’s an excellent idea.” Trembling, I drained the rest of my wine. The faster this night was over, the better. I needed to do something that I hadn’t done in a long time.
This ache wasn’t going to go away, and since I couldn’t use Brendan to satisfy me and certainly couldn’t count on Don to do it, I was going to have to do it myself.
***
The next morning, I stared at the empty coffee pot. Don had refused to talk last night after dinner, and he kissed me on the cheek and folded me into the taxi and sent me home. I still needed to talk to him before I spoke with Brendan, so I was headed back to the university earlier than I had planned.
“I see that your bed’s not made, and your special toy is still sitting on the nightstand, so I’m going to go ahead and assume that someone got you all riled up last night,” Danielle teased as she entered the kitchen.
I would have been embarrassed, but I was too tired. “Brew faster,” I commanded the machine. The red light meant that it was brewing, right?
“It usually helps if you push the button.” Danielle smiled cheekily and pushed the button for me. The coffeemaker gurgled to life, and I groaned. I needed more sleep. Actually, I needed to hole myself up in my room and never come back out again. “So what happened last night?”
“Brendan walked in on me and Don. Don basically told me that I should be happy being a trophy girlfriend because I was never going to amount to anything. I ate chicken off a fork on the patio like a lunatic.”
Leaning against the counter, Danielle nodded. “Okay, some of that sort of made sense. Since you and Don don’t do anything exciting, I’m going to assume that Brendan walked in on you two having a boring conversation. Second, Don’s an asshole. One of the biggest names in Hollywood relies on your expertise and advice, so you’ve got a bigger future than Don ever will. And I’m guessing the chicken was amazing, so good for you.”
I groaned and rested my head in my hands. “I kissed Brendan. Well, actually, he kissed me. I might have kissed him back. I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“Ah, that explains the toy on your nightstand. I’m surprise it still works. You got that so long ago, it’s practically an antique.” She smiled kindly at me and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know that you’re confused right now, Jillian, but there is one thing I know for sure. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are, and you’ve got a bright future ahead of you, and you aren’t going to let Don or Brendan stand in your way.” She kissed me on the forehead and grabbed the pot of coffee.
“Oh, leave me some. Please,” I pleaded.
“I have back-to-back meetings all day. Brew your own,” she said as she drained it all in her giant travel mug. “Besides, aren’t you meeting a certain someone in a coffee shop today?”
I stared at her mug, wondering if I should attack her. “I have to talk to Don first.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Then you’re going to want that sleepy haze to help dull the dullness of Dull Don.”
“You’re not helping. Go away,” I grumbled as I grabbed my purse. I didn’t have time to make a second pot of coffee, but I might not need it after all. The anticipation of seeing Brendan again was all the adrenaline I needed.
After hailing a cab and trying not to be annoyed by the fact that Don couldn’t even drive me back to my apartment, I headed up to Don’s office and knocked on his door. His face still displayed that annoying look of disapproval. “Jill. I am working this morning. Perhaps you could schedule some time with me later.”
“Actually, that won’t work because I already have a meeting later. In an hour, actually.” I took a deep breath and blurted, “With my husband, so I need to talk to you now.”
“This last minute need to talk to me smacks of desperation…” He looked up from his computer, staring at me with narrowed eyes. “Wait, did you say husband? Your husband?”
I waited for his anger, but he just looked even more disapproving. Gripping the strap to my purse, I sat in the chair in front of his desk. “I tried to talk to you last night… never mind, that’s not really important. Yes. I discovered a few days ago that I’m still married. I got married when I was eighteen, and I thought I got divorced less than a year later, but apparently, I didn’t.”
“Making rash decisions as a child? Jillian, the more I learn about you…” He sighed and rubbed his temples. “I suppose that I can forgive the transgressions of your past. I cannot, however, be associated with a married woman, so make sure you keep this quiet while you get a real divorce.”
“That’s sort of the other issue.” Afraid of even more judgment being heaped on me, I twisted my fingers around themselves. “Brendan is willing to give me a quiet divorce, but first he wants to spend some time with me.” I wasn’t about to mention that Brendan was using me to buy some land.
“That cowboy from yesterday is your husband?” He sneered. “Your judgment needs to be questioned, Jill. I assume you regret your decision to rashly marry that Neanderthal.”
I bristled, and my nails bit into my skin. “Look, I would divorce Brendan right now if I could, but he’s threatening to make it public, and we both know that might not reflect well on me.”
An eyebrow arched straight up. “You’re worried about your reputation now? Perhaps you should have thought of that before you foolishly married him. Jill, there are more important things at stake than your inflated ideas about your career. Divorce him. Now. If things get messy, I will do my best to clean it up, and I hope that this is the last bit of trouble that you get into, because I need a mature and sophisticated wife and not some trashy and disastrous drama queen.”
Stunned, I stared at him. How long had I been berating myself for my choice in ex-husbands when I should have been questioning my choice in boyfriends?
“Excuse me? You chose me to be your mature and sophisticated wife? Did you expect that I was going to be some decoration on your arm? That I would give up my dreams and tend to you while you did everything you wanted?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re still welcome to work.”
“Wow.” Shooting up from the chair, I kicked it away and started to pace. “You already have us married, and we haven’t even had a proper kiss. We haven’t gotten intimate. We haven’t even discussed how we feel about each other. You’re not mature or stable. You’re a user.”
“Jill—”
I faced him. “I swear to god, if you call me Jill one more time, I’ll scream so loud that I will bring the whole building here. I’ve told you a thousand times to call me Jillian. We’re done, Don. In fact, I’m not sure that we were ever together, so you really don’t need to concern yourself about the decisions that I made when I was eighteen or the decisions I’m going to make in the next hour. And I hope you realize that all of those guys last night have no intentions of offering you that seat
. They’re just stringing you along so you’ll keep kissing their asses.”
Grabbing my purse, I stormed out of the office and slammed the door shut. It wasn’t until I was halfway down the hall that I realized what I’d done. It wasn’t the break-up. I didn’t feel any pain over that, but Don was just one person who had judged me for the decisions I’d made when I was young.
He’d judged me harshly. Almost as harshly as I blamed myself.
If this came to light, I’d be facing Don’s reaction tenfold.
Damn, damn, damn. I needed to accept Brendan’s offer.
Cursing the whole way, I grabbed a taxi to the coffee shop. Seeing him lounging in the booth only made me angrier, but my racing heart had nothing to do with my annoyance and everything to do with my reaction to him.
This was probably the most dangerous decision I’d ever made.
“Hello, sweetheart. How was your date last night?”
I dumped my purse on the table and grabbed my wallet. “I’m getting coffee.”
Just then, the barista called my name. Brendan smiled. “I remember what a complete and terrifying monster you are in the morning. I ordered your usual.”
I was too happy to have coffee to be upset. Picking up my extra-dirty chai latte, I took that first hot sip, let the liquid slide down my throat, and closed my eyes and sighed. I was already starting to feel better.
“The last time I saw that look on your face was right after I slipped my hand up your skirt.”
“No.” Holding up my hand, I glared at him as I slid in the booth. “If we’re going to do this, then we need to establish some ground rules, and the first rule is that we’re not walking down memory lane. I mean it, Brendan.”
“So, you’ve decided to take me up on my offer.” There was a twinkle in his eyes as he sipped his coffee. “Excellent decision. How did your boyfriend take it?”
I lifted my chin. “Don and I are no longer together, and that is rule number two. No questions about my personal life.”
“Should I be writing these down?” he teased. “Did Don break up with you when he discovered that you were more than two-dimensional?”
Reclaiming My Wife Page 7
