by Lexi C. Foss
I peeled one eye open to see the back of a couch.
That would have been fine had I not seen my paw against the black leather. I shrieked, and it came out as a wolfish whine that had me scrambling off the couch and onto the ground. On four legs.
Fuck!
I started to spin, bumping into the coffee table with my rump, my snout hitting the end table, and my nails clawing at the white carpet. The same color as my fur.
Oh, Goddess. Oh, Goddess!
This had to be a nightmare. Some sort of cognizance designed to help me get over my trauma from the breeding camp.
Which I could fully remember now.
My heart began to race with the onslaught of horrors, the growls, the mid-shift rutting. Oh, oh, oh, I didn’t want to go there. No, no, no!
I released another of those shriek-whines and began to run, only my legs didn’t know how to work. They spun beneath me, and I went face-first into the floor.
A male voice told me to stop. I snapped in response, trying futilely to escape the cage of my mind. I needed to wake up. This couldn’t be happening. I didn’t want to walk down memory lane again!
“Willow.”
Ryder’s voice. I jumped up, searching for him, begging him to release me from this insanity. Wake me up! Wake me up! I begged him. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to know this. I don’t want to remember. Please!
The bellows and commands continued to riot in my mind, the door wide open on a series of events I never wanted to live through again. I shook my head, refusing to let them take me.
Oh, but the one with green eyes, he always haunted me.
He visited me daily.
My punisher.
My captor.
My aggressor.
I hated him, loathed him, wanted to attack him, to bite him, to slaughter him, to hurt him like he did me. The coward used restraints. How sad for him that a poor, defenseless, little human female could put up such a fight that he needed to chain me to the wall to fuck me.
I laughed at him.
He hated that.
He wanted me to fight.
Fuck you, I thought. You pansy-ass mother—
“Willow.” Ryder was closer now, his minty aftershave heaven to my senses.
Yes, yes, I thought, scrambling to my feet again. Wake me up. Please wake me up.
I could see him now, approaching me slowly from around the sofa. He had a hand out as if to calm me. I cocked my head to the side, confused. Why had he entered this strange dream?
Then I realized he wasn’t alone. Another vampire stood with him. One with icy blue eyes and a jawline that struck me as severely acute. I sniffed at him, noting his woodsy aftershave.
Then another approached.
A lycan.
Bulky.
Dark hair, dark eyes, dominant and terrifying.
I backed up at his presence, not wanting to play with his kind. He was too masculine. Too predatory. Too alarmingly beautiful and cruelly so.
“Willow,” another voice said, drawing my gaze right to a blond male I never thought I’d see again. Except he was all wrong. Not human like I remembered him, but lycan, too. And alpha. Strong. Just like the other.
I whimpered again, confused. That wasn’t my Silas.
Wake me up, I begged, looking at Ryder again. Wake me up.
He began to murmur words in a foreign language, one I didn’t understand, but the melody struck me as familiar. He’d sung this to me once before, after the elevator incident. It was soothing and warm, making me feel safe.
I started toward him, only to notice yet another lycan in the room. This one female. Alpha, too.
It caused my fur to twitch, my instincts flaring to life. I snarled at her, keeping her away from Ryder as I approached him. Dream or no, this bitch was not touching him.
“Did she just snarl at me?” the female demanded.
“She’s territorial when it comes to me,” Ryder explained, his tone amused. I glanced at him, and he began to hum again, luring me closer until my head met his palm. He sat in his chair, bringing us closer, and drew his fingers through my fur. It felt oddly good, allowing me to relax a little more, content.
Each stroke seemed to chase away my nightmares, returning them to a foggy state in my mind that I firmly preferred in the past. All that needed to happen now was for me to wake up.
I closed my eyes, hoping to expedite the process.
But movement had my lids springing back open.
Silas had stepped forward to crouch near the chair. Not within touching distance, but close. Too close.
Part of me wanted to growl. You’re not real.
“Her connection to the pack psyche is unique,” the alpha said from the other side of the room, causing my hackles to rise again. “I can’t hear her as I do the others, but I can sense her denial.”
“No idea why she’d be in denial,” a familiar voice drawled. Damien. I hadn’t sensed him, his presence hidden behind the alpha. Perhaps because I was lower to the ground and unable to see much over the couch and chair. “She went to bed human and woke up a hybrid. I’d be in denial, too.”
I blinked. What?
“Your bedside manner is fantastic,” Silas said, sarcasm evident.
“I have no bedside manner,” Damien replied.
“No shit,” my best friend snapped before looking down at me with his bright blue eyes. “Willow, sweetheart, can you shift back into your human form?”
I stared at him, uncertain of what he meant. I’d prefer to wake up.
Except I was starting to fear this might not be a dream.
“She went to bed human and woke up a hybrid.”
What the heck is a hybrid? I wondered, shivering.
Ryder slid his touch to my nape, giving it a little tug. My attention immediately returned to him as though we were somehow connected. And maybe we were. I’d imbibed a lot of his blood. “It’s okay,” he whispered, coaxing me to lay my cheek against his thigh while he continued to pet me.
“Can you help her transition back?” I heard him ask.
“Yes,” the alpha replied. “But it may hurt her.”
“Then that’s a no,” Ryder corrected.
“I have a suggestion,” the icy-eyed vampire announced, pushing away from the wall. “How about we give Ryder and Willow some privacy to discuss what’s happened. Perhaps she’ll turn back on her own as a result. And in the interim, I’m going to take a nap. The daylight drive was rather draining, and Ryder’s penchant for skylights isn’t helping matters.”
“Damien knows his way around my guest wing and can provide you with appropriate accommodations.” Ryder’s palm paused on my head. “Do you want to go up to our suite, little wolf?”
Only if you agree to tell me this is all some sort of messed-up dream, I wanted to say. Instead, I just leaned into him more, feeling oddly safe beside him. Which was strange because I knew Silas better. We’d spent most of our adolescent and teenage years together.
You’re a lycan now? I asked, looking at him again. An alpha lycan? Does that mean you won the Immortal Cup?
My heart fractured a little with the thought.
Silas had gone on to win his immortality, while the Magistrate had sent me to the breeding camps to die.
Except I’d escaped. I’d fought. Just to fall into Ryder’s hands.
My attention returned to the royal vampire, his dark gaze unreadable as I stared up at him. I beseeched him to explain to me how this all had happened, to tell me what hybrid meant.
“Damien, show everyone to the guest quarters.” It wasn’t a request but a demand. Ryder released me and stood, saying, “And, you, follow me.”
I couldn’t say no even if I wanted to, which I didn’t.
He stepped around his chair, moving with his usual authority. I glanced at Silas, momentarily uncertain, but he gestured for me to go with a nod of his chin. “I trust him not to hurt you,” he said softly.
Ryder snorted. “How endearing.”
/>
“Would you rather me say something else?” Silas countered. “Perhaps that I’m baffled as to why my two best friends ended up with ancient royal vampires as mates?”
“Who said I’m her mate?” Ryder asked, arching a brow.
“I can smell it,” Silas muttered. “And you look at her the same way Kylan looks at Rae.”
Rae’s with Kylan? I thought, my eyebrows going up. Wait, do wolves have eyebrows? Then I shook my head, going back to the important thought again. How did Rae end up with Kylan?
He was a sadistic royal known for slaughtering his harem.
Oh, Goddess. Is Rae okay? I demanded, a snorty sound coming from my muzzle as I focused on Silas.
“Now she’s snarling at my mate,” the female alpha muttered.
“Willow,” Ryder said. “I’ll explain everything if you follow me.”
Yes, please. I turned away from Silas and his… I stopped, glancing at him. Wait, did she just say you’re her mate?
“Willow,” Ryder repeated, a hint of command in his tone.
Right. Follow him for answers. Okay. One step after another, I made my way to the bottom of the stairs, then looked up with a huff. I could barely operate my four legs on a flat surface. How the hell was I going to maneuver upward?
Ryder didn’t seem to notice, his feet already carrying him up the steps.
I tried to follow and stumbled, yelping in annoyance.
He paused then to look at me, his eyebrow arched haughtily. Then he narrowed his gaze and returned to the first floor to really study me. “Where’s my little warrior? Did she perish during the transition to hybrid? Because I could swear she knew how to crawl quite well on four limbs back in San José.”
I growled, annoyed. Yeah, she did. In human form!
“You’re really going to let a few steps defeat you?” He yawned as though bored. “And I thought you were here to intrigue me. Maybe I will go see if the other female wolf knows how to go up stairs.”
That caused my hackles to rise. He did not just bring that other bitch into this.
“This behavior is tedious,” he continued. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and figure it out.”
Figure what out?! I wanted to rage. What the hell is a hybrid? Why do I have four legs? Who are all those people? What are we doing here?
“Your growl is an improvement, I guess,” he said flatly.
Oh, I’d show him an improvement. I lunged for him, my instinct to bite taking over.
He rapped me on the nose with two fingers in response, tsking. “No. Biting.”
“Two words I will never say to a woman,” Damien put in as he started up the stairs with the others trailing behind him.
“You would if her bite nearly killed you,” Ryder tossed back.
“I wouldn’t say ‘nearly,’ ” Damien replied.
Ryder grunted. “You did say ‘nearly.’ ”
“Did I?” Damien was at the top of the stairs now. “Hmm, maybe I overexaggerated.”
“I’m shooting you five times now.”
Damien sighed loudly. “Fine.”
I glanced between them both, confused as to what the hell they were talking about. Then a hand smacked my rump, one that didn’t belong to Ryder. I spun on my heels to face the alpha male with dark eyes and hair. “Ryder’s right. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Being a lycan is a gift. Now stop spoiling it and move.”
Silas came to stand beside him. “I forgot how much I loathed you in the beginning of my transition.”
“You took your transformation like a proper alpha. She’s over here pouting.”
“She’s not an alpha,” the female said conversationally. “More like a beta.”
“Still strong for a human turned lycan,” the male alpha replied. “And she’s a hybrid on top of it. Time she acts like the powerful product she is and stops moping around.”
Maybe if someone told me what the hell is going on, I wouldn’t be moping, I thought at him, a growl coming from my throat.
He growled back, the sound powerful and domineering, sending me several steps back into Ryder’s legs. “Some advice, little one,” the male said, that rumble still evident in his tone. “Never challenge an alpha. You’ll lose every time.” He stared me down, his dark irises whirling with power, demanding I yield.
Some part of me knew to look away, an inner voice that was new to me, telling me naturally that to submit was part of life. Yet another part of me demanded I remain standing, questioning this wolf’s right to dominate me.
I felt split in two, divided between a hierarchal world and a predatory existence.
“Well, that’s impressive,” the alpha mused. “How about you lean on that stronger side and shift back, then we can test that challenge.” He squared off with me, his strength an intoxicating presence that threatened to swallow me and force me to my knees.
Yet that other half of me glared back, incapable of bending.
I don’t answer to you. Energy hummed through me at the conviction in my internal tone, my vision blurring with a shimmering haze that reminded me of that moment between sleep and reality, right before a dream ended.
Yes, yes. I closed my eyes, welcoming the sensation and allowing it to swallow me whole as my universe turned right-side up again. Only, the hard surface below me reminded me of cold concrete, not the warmth of Ryder’s bed.
For one heart-wrenching moment, I wondered if my time with him had been a fantasy. One contrived by my mind to save me from the horrors of my true existence. But I could smell his minty aftershave, the familiarity a balm to my raging senses as I stretched to loosen stiff joints.
“Ryder?” I whispered, my voice hoarse as though I’d slept for too long. And perhaps I had. That’d been a messed-up cycle of dreams. I vividly remembered it all as if it’d been real, the dual worlds still very much alive within me. The scents were with me, too. Alpha lycans and an ancient vampire.
My nose twitched, and I slowly opened my eyes to find myself at the bottom of the stairs in Ryder’s house, curled in a ball.
I blinked and glanced up to see the alpha male from my dreams smirking at me. Ryder stood a few feet away, his shoulder braced against the wall. “I thought you said your method would hurt,” he drawled.
“It would have had I forced her to shift. But she did that on her own,” the male replied, still staring at me. “All because her inner vampire wanted to challenge my wolf.” His eyes ran over me with interest. “I’m ready to dance when you are, sweetheart.”
“She’s not yours to play with,” Ryder informed him.
“I didn’t say I wanted to play,” the alpha returned.
Silas wrapped his arm around the other male’s waist and leaned in to nip the man’s neck sharply, eliciting a growl from the alpha. “That’s a challenge, Alpha,” Silas said.
“Protecting your friend, Enforcer?” the alpha asked.
Silas nipped him again. “Just providing you with a better match.”
The sweet scent of oranges tickled my nose, making me sneeze. It was coming from one of the lycans. The female, maybe?
Why can I smell that?
“If you’re preparing to frolic on my lands, then ask Damien to turn off the security,” Ryder said. He bent down to scoop me up into his arms. “I’ll be upstairs having a long talk with my pet.”
25
Willow
Of course, now Ryder decided to carry me.
Not when I couldn’t figure out how to use four legs and needed help, but when I had two legs again and could walk just fine.
As much as I wanted to say something, I couldn’t, because the thought of four legs evaporated whatever amusement I had at the situation.
“I’m a wolf,” I whispered, more to myself than to Ryder.
“Are you?” Ryder asked. “I hadn’t noticed.”
I glared at him.
He smirked back.
And somehow that lightened the situation again just a little. He carried me into his room and kicked the
door closed with his heel before setting me on his bed. Then he leaned down to place his hands on either side of my hips, causing me to fall backward into the mattress. He hummed in approval as he lowered himself over me to touch his mouth to mine.
“In fact, you feel very human to me, Willow,” he said softly, nibbling my lower lip. He winked and rolled off me to lie on his back beside me with both of our legs dangling off the bed. It was an almost playful position and so very Ryder-like to me.
“Tell me what happened.”
“A demand?” he asked, shifting again up the bed to rest on his side with his head propped up by his hand. “How very wolfish of you.”
I crawled backward to join him, then moved into a similar position. His gaze dropped to my breasts, only then causing me to realize my nudity. “You’ve seen it before,” I said. “Now tell me what happened.”
“Hmm,” he hummed. “Perhaps I’m still intrigued after all.”
“Ryder.”
“Willow.”
Ugh, this man! “Tell me what happened.”
He sighed as if it were some big deal to inform me how I’d become a wolf. Or a hybrid. Or whatever the hell I was.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked softly, reaching across the small space between us to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. His touch relaxed me almost instantly, his power over me lost somewhere between enthralling and terrifying. He’d become my lifeline these last few weeks, a beacon of light in a sea of darkness.
Nothing he did matched what I expected, including now as he traced a line down my neck to my collarbone, his dark eyes hypnotically beautiful.
“I remember being in bed with you,” I whispered. “I think I fell asleep while you were in the shower. Or perhaps you’d already taken one. It’s foggy. But I recall feeling ill. I think I took a shower, too. There was a towel. And food. But it made me sick.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what happened after that. Except, you were angry. I think I tried to apologize.”
