by Vivian Arend
“Hell, yeah. You know that.”
Travis pushed. “Then why are you making her feel as if you’re not interested in her? Coming on to her then shutting it off like she’s dangerous, or worse, done something wrong?”
Cassidy paused. “You’re shitting me. You want me to make a play for your girlfriend?”
“We already had this conversation. Does it matter that she was in the middle, or if she were alone with you? You’d still be touching her. Licking her until she writhed.” Travis caught Cassidy by the arm. “And while we’re talking about stuff that makes no sense, you fooled around with me as well. Does that make you my boyfriend? Because that would mean in whatever neat little boxes you’re trying to tuck relationships, I’m cheating on you every time you’re not there and I sink my cock into her sweet pussy.”
Cassidy’s nostrils flared, and Travis congratulated himself on a direct hit.
“We don’t have a relationship,” Cassidy bit out behind clenched teeth. “We’re not together. We’re friends, and what happened with us…it was a mistake.”
“That’s another load of bull,” Travis noted. “Look, I get that none of this is straightforward. Being attracted to her and me and… God, I get it. The running-hot-and-cold shit though? It’s making us all crazy. When you pretend you don’t want Ashley unless I’m in the picture, you’re hurting her. I can take you fucking around with my brain, but pushing her around is going too far.”
Travis ran his hand up Cassidy’s arm, the contrast between his strong, masculine build and Ashley’s softer muscles and curves so clear in that moment. He glared at Cassidy, frustration and anger washing away lust. “Stop hurting her and give yourselves what you damn well want. I don’t want to have to wipe away her tears when you dump all over her.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not the one you need to say that to. And in terms of us and that mistake?” Travis slipped his hand to the back of Cassidy’s neck, trapped him in place then kissed him. Harsh. Nearly brutal. Lips crushed together as they grappled and fought to get closer.
Fire turned on a moment from anger to lust…to disgust.
Travis tore them apart. “That conversation is not done either, but I can’t stand the sight of you right now.”
His lips burned, his blood rushed, but the damn near unquenchable ache wasn’t there. Not this time. Like Ashley, all he wanted was some space.
He turned on his heel and stomped off.
“Where you going?” Cassidy demanded.
“Riding. I need time with a beast who’s got a higher IQ than you.”
He detoured into the cookhouse to grab some food and shoved a couple sandwiches into a bag. Grabbed some water. Packed it all into a pannier and saddled up a horse. The entire time he was getting the ride ready he felt Cassidy’s gaze on him.
Well, fuck that. He’d had enough togetherness for a while. One night sleeping under the stars might put everything back to normal in his world.
He stepped into the stirrup and mounted, settling his hat more firmly in place.
Cassidy stood a few paces away, hand extended with a square black case in his grasp.
“What?” Travis demanded.
“Take it.” Cassidy shook the box. “Sat phone and GPS. If you need anything, give a shout. Camp policy.”
Travis accepted the load and shoved it into an empty flap by his right thigh. He stared at Cassidy for a long moment then turned and headed up the trail, into the solitude of the wilderness.
Eerie silence lay over the camp as the afternoon passed. Cassidy finished the chores, pausing every now and then to see if Ashley had moved from the roof of the cookhouse where she’d crawled to after finally leaving her cabin.
He was a shit. Travis was right, but Travis didn’t know all of it, and Cassidy ached at holding back.
Would it be so wrong? To give in for the summer and let what he wanted be real?
He stopped in surprise when a loud clattering rang out, his gaze jerking toward the mess hall where Ashley stood, metal bar in hand as she struck the dinner bell vigorously.
Cassidy stopped in the wash hall and scrubbed the dirt from his torso, slipping on a clean shirt before heading into the cookhouse.
Maybe she was going to poison him or something. If so, he deserved it.
Overhead, storm clouds were rolling in rapidly, rain spurting down in occasional clumps. He hoped Travis would get back soon.
Pinned to the cookhouse door was a hand-drawn picture. Bright colours, like she’d used a crayon. It was clearly a picture of him, although in this portrait he had three heads and teeny tiny arms. He chuckled in spite of being the target.
He deserved that as well.
Through the door he discovered an empty mess hall, but a wonderful aroma hung in the air, and he followed it to the kitchen. There was another drawing pinned to the door at eye level. This one a pencil line drawing. A brief but beautifully rendered sketch that made him look as if he were in motion, stroking one of the horses.
Maybe he wouldn’t get poisoned after all.
“Ashley?”
“Over here.” She turned from the table the cooks used for food prep. She’d put out three bowls and some bread, a steaming pot between them. “I hope soup is okay.”
“Soup is wonderful.” He took off his hat and laid it aside, momentarily awkward with his hands.
She sat and grabbed the ladle, and he hurried to join her.
“I couldn’t imagine sitting in that big hall with just the three of us. Too many chairs out there. I needed something smaller or I’d have felt like an ant.”
Cassidy eyed the thick red soup she was spooning into his bowl, his mouth watering. “It’s nice in here. And I didn’t expect you to feed me, but thank you.”
The wind rattled the windows, and they both glanced up. Outside the trees waved in the rising wind. “You think Travis heard the bell?”
“I don’t know.” The sat phone was burning a hole in his pocket, but giving Travis space still seemed the wisest thing. Only the misery on Ashley’s face couldn’t be ignored either. “Hey, he’s fine.”
She nodded slowly, dipping her bread into her bowl before staring at it unhappily. “Just worried.”
“If he’s not back after supper, we’ll call him. Would that help?”
Her smile spread like the warmth of the sun. “It would. I know he can take care of himself, but…” Her gaze drifted to the windowpane where a spattering of raindrops scattered over the glass. “Yeah. I’d like to know he’s okay.”
Cassidy ate a couple spoons of the soup, his mouth smarting at the heat. “Wow—that’s good.”
“Spicy, right?” She shrugged. “I saw the clouds coming and thought if Travis was caught in the cold, he’d appreciate something to warm him up.”
“It’s spicy, but I like it. Definitely heats all the way through.”
They fell silent for a bit, the food and the warmth of the kitchen in increasing contrast with the wind outside.
He had to say something. The setting couldn’t be better to take this bad situation and turn it around, but their bowls were nearly empty before he found his courage.
“Travis isn’t mad at you.” Cassidy laid his spoon on the table. “He’s pissed at me, and he’s right. And I need to tell you something.”
She stared at him, those sky-blue eyes tearing into his soul.
“I’m sorry.”
A touch of mischief slipped across her face. “Go on.”
He smiled. “You want me to muck this up and say I’m sorry you were upset by my actions? I know better than that. Travis told me about his sister-in-law Jaxi reading him the riot act once about non-apology, apologies. I’m sorry I acted like an ass and upset you. I’ve been trying—”
He took a deep breath. If this summer was going to change, if anything was going to move forward, she had to be fully onboard. Maybe it was old-fashioned, but he had to hear it from her. One more time.
“Travis and I had a couple c
onversations about this, but I should have been talking to you, not him. I’m uncomfortable. You’re an attractive woman, and I want…things. I want things that if you and Travis were in a typical relationship I’d get my head knocked off for wanting. But Travis said you guys don’t have a typical relationship.”
She nodded, licking her spoon slowly. His body tightened, further proof he was going down dangerous paths.
“I like Travis a lot, Cassidy, but we’re not exclusive.”
Cassidy breathed out slowly. “Because you grew up in a lot more sexually accepting environment.”
Her eyes widened. “Hell, no, it’s not that.”
Now he was confused all over. “But…”
She smiled sadly. “If I thought Travis would be happy with only me, I’d tie him down in a cold second. But I’m not enough.”
Cassidy couldn’t swallow around the lump in his throat. “You think he needs a different woman than you?”
All amusement vanished from her face. She didn’t say anything, just stared and stared until the silence was far more condemning than if she’d smacked him across the ears. Smacked him for being a stupid shit, and a coward.
The worst thing was he couldn’t look away.
Like a lash of condemnation from Mother Nature herself, the skies opened. Rain beat on the tin roof covering the kitchen area, loud enough to deafen them both. A flash of lightning filled the window accompanied by a rattle of thunder that shook the building.
“That was close.” Ashley leapt up and pressed her hands against the glass to stare into the pouring rain.
He joined her at the window, watching water pool in the ridges left behind from their building efforts. “It’s going to make a hell of a mess out there.”
Another flash turned her face ghostly white for a second. This time he saw her cringe when the thunder rattled the roof.
“Travis…” She tugged on his arm. “Can you call him? Make sure he’s okay?”
“Of course.” He led her back to the table. “It’ll take me a second, though. Finish your soup while it’s hot.”
She gave him a dirty look. “I’m not a child. I’m worried, but I don’t need to be coddled.”
“That’s a reason to let your soup go cold?”
Ashley pulled a face. “Stop being logical and make the call.”
He couldn’t make it right there, not with the rain pounding so hard overhead that the nails in the roof must be shaking loose. Tin metal with a rain this fierce—they shouldn’t have any leaks but the noise had grown loud enough to be deafening.
He caught Ashley by the hand and tugged her with him into the mess hall with its sturdier wooden roof.
Closing the doors behind them cut out some of the noise.
“The rain is crazy,” Ashley said, moving once again to the window to watch it fall. She tipped her chin back to stare into the treetops where they were lashing the sky. “And the wind…” She turned toward Cassidy, and those eyes were haunted again. “You calling this century or the next?”
He got the phone fired up, hoping like hell Travis had his turned on. “If we can’t get through, it’s because he’s shut it down, not that he’s hurt, okay?”
She didn’t answer, and he didn’t look her way, because one more second of those enormous eyes staring through him and he was going to drop everything to make her feel better.
Static cut over the line. Another burst, almost as loud as a thunder blast. Cassidy held the receiver farther away and waited for the ringing in his ear to subside. “He’s got it turned on, that’s good.”
Ashley stepped closer, and he kept the phone tilted so she could hear the response.
“Travis, you hear me?”
A deep voice was drowned out by the wind gusting rain against the side of the hall.
Shit. “Try that again, T. We’re in the middle of the storm. You okay?”
Fainter this time, fading in and out as he spoke, but it was Travis, and he was okay. “Fine. I’m at Second Camp and tucking in for the night.”
Ashley touched Cassidy’s arm, her eyes bright with moisture.
“Good to know. Everyone else okay?”
“Campers think it’s some special party thrown just for them, so yeah, okay so far. Horses are doing pretty well, none of them freaking out. There are enough hands here if we need to spend the night babysitting them. We’ll be fine.”
The fingers on his arm tightened. Cassidy touched Ashley’s hand reassuringly as he spoke to Travis. “Be careful. Don’t take any chances, you hear me?”
Impossibly, Travis laughed. “Yes, head wrangler. Now tell me how Ash is doing before I go.”
Cassidy offered the phone to Ashley, but she shook her head.
He could understand it—probably too worked up to talk right now. Cassidy gave her a wink and answered Travis a lot more lighthearted than he felt. “She’s with me, and she’s not planning on cutting me anymore, so we’re okay.”
“That’s what I like to hear. You take care of each other, right?” A sudden whistle cut over the line followed by a strange flapping sound. “Ah, shit, I’ve got to go. Lost part of the damn tent roof, so I may as well join the horses.”
The line went dead, and they were back to nothing but the storm, him and Ashley, who still had a death grip on his arm.
He put the phone on the table and peeled her fingers free, stroking them softly. “Travis is fine, although it’s also a mess at Second Camp. We’ll have repair work to do in the morning once this thing blows over, but in the meantime, he’ll spend the night there and take care of things. We have to mind the shop at this end.”
Her expression was all the warning he needed to brace himself as Ashley threw herself into his arms and clung on tight.
Chapter Fifteen
Outside the storm raged on. The walls of the mess hall were solid log, and Ashley still wondered if the place was in danger of being blown over.
The sudden brutality of the weather contrasted with the apparent peace surrounding her. They had the noise to deal with, but they were warm and dry and sheltered. Knowing that Travis was safe with the rest of the crew also helped.
Now she had to decide what to do with the stubborn, foolish man she was squeezing.
It had taken until now to realize he was as afraid as she was. It wasn’t some general anxiety holding him back from admitting his desire for Travis, but a deep, lingering fear.
Having grasped that truth made all the difference in the world.
She wasn’t a frightened, weak creature, or she hadn’t been before she’d been broken by the worst of situations four months ago. It was time she went back to making fearless decisions. Confronting the things that needed to be changed, seizing life with both hands.
Grabbing hold of the opportunities before her.
Cassidy held her like she was china, not pushing her away—he’d at least learned that lesson—but he was still acting more brotherly than loverly.
She slipped her hands across his torso, palms to his chest. “Thank you for calling Travis.”
“I was worried as well. I’m glad he’s safe.” Cassidy stroked a strand of hair off her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
“Give me a minute to clean up.”
Walking back into the kitchen was like walking into a tin can. They both hurried to get the food put away, but abandoned the dirty dishes in the sink so they could escape back into the relative quiet of the hall.
“So much for our cozy atmosphere,” Cassidy complained.
Ashley took the bull by the horns. “I don’t know, I think we can manage something. You have a wood stove in your cabin, don’t you?”
His smile bloomed slowly as she slipped her arm around his waist and walked him toward the doors. “I do.”
She stepped in front of him and gave it her best shot. “Maybe it’s crazy, but I’m learning as I go along that the right decisions are sometimes the craziest ones. I want you, Cassidy. I still want Trav
is, but I want you as well, and I can’t pretend I don’t.”
“We’ve all got a touch of the crazies if we’re being honest.” Cassidy cupped her cheek, his fingers delicate on her skin.
“You ready to be honest?” she asked. “Really, truly, honest? Then how about adding in, I know you guys want each other.”
He swallowed hard. “It’s…not simple, Ashley.”
She laughed. “And me wanting two guys is simple? Hello, this is all of us in the same boat, and it’s time to decide if we’re going to take the ride or bail.”
A hesitant smile broke free. “Nice analogy in light of the fact we might need a damn ark to survive this storm.” He slowed, turned more serious. “If I said let’s take a ride, what are we going to do?”
An extra-loud rumble made them both jerk their heads toward the door. “You need to look in on the horses?” she asked.
“I should. Plus check the guests’ cars in the parking lot, and the bunkhouse to make sure it’s still in one piece.”
“I have to check my van. Unplug everything and close it up tight. I can look around the parking lot and the bunkhouse, then join you in your cabin.”
His smile faded. “I don’t like the idea of you—”
“Stop right there.” She pushed him back and grabbed her coat off the wall. “Don’t like the idea of me getting poured on? Well, I don’t like it either, but I’m a grownup, and I won’t melt. So I’ll let you do your job, you let me do mine, and then we’ll see about getting your cabin warmed up so we can sit out the rest of the storm.”
It was clear he wanted to argue. Instead he nodded then pulled her back into his arms before she could brace herself and step into the cold, wet night. “My cabin, as soon as you can.”
This time when he leaned down he didn’t stop. This time he kissed her thoroughly enough to make her toes curl and her body heat sufficiently to withstand any icy temperatures. He didn’t simply put their lips together; he cradled them close, letting her feel every inch of his muscular body. Allowing her to feel his desire in the way his tongue played her. His teeth, his lips. So new and fresh and incredibly right.
