by Vivian Arend
Canvases were tossed haphazardly outside the large barn doors.
“She’s here,” Cassidy snapped, pointing at the pile. “God, she’s trying to get her paintings out.”
“The building could collapse, Cass.” Travis was out of the truck and headed for the barn doors at a dead run. The entire time his mind pulsed with her name. With the urgency to swing her into his arms and keep her safe. Having Cassidy beside him only made it worse in a way. “Don’t take chances,” he ordered.
“Don’t think of stopping me.” Cassidy rushed through the open doors, Travis hard on his heels. “Ashley. Where are you?”
There was no answer to his shout, but plenty of noise. In the back corner of the barn, part of the second story gave way, an avalanche of bales cascading through the opening. They burst when they hit the ground, straw flying up, timbers crackling as flames hungrily licked their way across the tops of the wooden stalls.
Everywhere Travis looked, things were burning. The crates Ashley had stacked to use as storage for her paints glowed with flickers of pink and purple tossed in. Most of her remaining canvases were destroyed, the white sheets she’d used to protect them from the dust edged with black against a background of red.
“Ashley,” Cassidy cried again. He twirled toward Travis, terror in his eyes. “In the loft?”
For a second Travis peered at the half-destroyed roof with sick fear shaking his limbs. Another section teetered on the edge of falling. “She couldn’t be. There are paintings outside.”
Which meant she had to be somewhere close. A waft of smoke blinded him, choking his breath. “Stay low,” he warned Cassidy.
They fell to their knees. Travis snapped a finger to the left. “Check behind the paintings. See if she collapsed. I’ll look in the storage area.”
Cassidy nodded, his face tight with fear. “I love you, T.”
He was gone before Travis could respond.
Travis moved forward, his limbs taking him toward the storage area even as his mind screamed a warning that was where the ATV was parked. An ATV full of fuel with extra jerry cans stacked along the wall.
His eyes watered as he peered back and forth in vain looking for some sign of—
A tangle of blonde hair, nearly hidden by a mass of straw. “Ashley.”
Travis scrambled on all fours to her side, lifting off the heavy timber across her legs to reach her body. He eyed her for a moment, taking in the blood streaking her forehead. If this were a typical situation, he wouldn’t have moved her, but the sounds of destruction around them continued to escalate.
He did the fastest visual check ever for broken limbs. “Ashley, baby. Open your eyes. We need to get out of here.”
She moaned, lashes fluttering, gasping for air as she curled onto her side against him.
He lifted her, pressing her to his chest. “Sorry for hurting you, love.”
Ashley curled her fingers around his neck, a sickening cough racking her. He cupped the back of her head and held her tight to his body then held his breath and raced for the main doors.
The sound of the first jerry can igniting echoed off the roof. It reminded him of the time he’d set off firecrackers in the barn. Loud, frightening, but mostly a warning of the more dangerous results that would follow, in that case when his dad got ahold of him to apply some well-deserved punishment.
There were more explosions to come, and the risks would only increase. He stumbled forward, waiting until he was back in the main area where there was a chance Cassidy would hear him. “I have her. Get out, get out now.”
In the back, a second can caught fire, the sickening sound of all the available oxygen being consumed in a whoosh drowned out in the explosion that shot toward the ceiling. Another eardrum-shattering blast was followed by a horrifying creaking noise, and Travis risked a glance upward. Nothing but smoke, but that warning was impossible to ignore…
The ceiling was giving way.
A strong arm circled his shoulder as Cassidy joined them, directing their path through the near-whiteout conditions. The cry of a siren growing louder beckoned them forward. The increased visibility at the door gave Travis the strength to hang on, rushing out and away from the building with his precious burden, Cassidy half holding him up, half being supported.
Shouts rang from the right as the volunteer fire truck pulled in and men leapt out, hoses being pulled. Travis ignored them and kept moving, headed to the ambulance bringing up the rear.
“Come on, Ashley, open those pretty eyes of yours.” Cassidy stroked her forehead, his voice tight from the smoke and fear. “You’re safe, baby. We got you.”
“My paintings.” The words barely audible, wheezed out as she struggled to sit up.
God. Travis knew the damages were going to break her heart. “Lie still. You have to see the paramedics.”
They were surrounded before she could protest. He and Cassidy had to step back. Had to open his arms and let the medical staff take her.
Something inside him broke.
Watching them pull a mask over her face, her eyes wide and frightened, twisted his guts to raw meat. Travis shoved himself forward to catch hold of her reaching fingers. He held on to his meager control with everything he had left.
Cassidy was there, his body close to Travis’s, his fingers also wrapped around Ashley’s. Grime and ashes were smeared on his face, his blond hair filthy with it. In the distance, water met flames and burst into red-hot steam, the sound rolling around them and echoing in Travis’s ears.
“We need to look you over, Travis. Cassidy as well.” What was probably a familiar face blurred before him. “You have to let her go. Just for a minute.”
“I’m never letting her go,” Travis whispered. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Hang on, sweetheart. We’ll be right beside you, okay? Me and Cassidy, we’re going to be right beside you all the way.”
She squeezed his fingers.
Travis let them place her on the gurney, watching closely as they started all kinds of medical procedures that rocked him even harder. Then the paramedics lifted her and she was gone into the back of the ambulance.
He twisted to find Cassidy staring, green eyes full of fear and sorrow. Travis stepped forward, ignoring the medical person at his side. He caught Cassidy around the neck and leaned their foreheads together until Cassidy was forced to look him in the eye. “Hey, listen to me. She’s going to be okay. You got that?”
Cassidy blinked hard. “God, I was so scared.”
“Me too,” Travis confessed, the words sneaking past lips that felt like sandpaper. “But she’s going to be okay, and we’re going to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again.”
Cassidy caught Travis’s sleeves tightly with his big fists. “I love you, T. I love her. I can’t lose either of you.”
The pain that had hovered in his mind for years, the fear of not being accepted for who he was—all of his frustrations exploded like an echo from the fire. They rushed from him to be replaced by a burning need to give. He wanted to heal Cassidy’s and Ashley’s hurts and ease all their pains. There was nothing he wouldn’t sacrifice for them. For the two people who had taken his world by storm and not only smacked him upside the head, but taught him that he could be himself and it was enough. That he could be himself and it would make him more than he’d been pretending to be while playing games.
Travis dragged Cassidy against him and hugged him fiercely before letting him go. “Come on, let the paramedic take a look at you.”
He waited until Cassidy had given in before turning to find Ashley.
Nothing was ever going to be the same again.
Travis had finally given up and closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair beside Ashley’s bed. The dark smudges under his eyes were nearly as deep as the ones under hers. The shower he’d stolen barely half an hour ago had washed away the grime, but couldn’t erase the other results of the fire.
From his chair on the opposite side of the bed, C
assidy rubbed his thumb slowly over the back of her hand, staring at long lashes resting against pale cheeks. Oxygen tubes led to her nostrils. The thin sound of the machine dispersing its rhythmic dose created a consistent reverberation as if there were an additional person in the room. Eerie. Unnatural.
It had been hours since they’d made it to the hospital. He’d lost track of people in the frantic rush to get Ashley medical attention, but after they’d reached the hospital there had been plenty of family around.
Travis’s family. His mom, most of his brothers. Their wives checking in to see if there was anything they could do. In the end they’d all gone home, reassured they would be updated if there was any change. Anything they could do.
The door opened quietly, and Cassidy glanced up to see Vicki and Joel had returned. He lifted a finger to his lips, and they nodded, slipping in without a sound.
Joel stared at his brother then let out a long sigh.
Vicki knelt by Cassidy’s side and gave him a quick hug. “How are you doing?”
Cassidy checked, but even at the sound of her voice Travis didn’t move. “We’re okay. They’re still monitoring Ashley. Some smoke inhalation, couple of bad bruises from where the beams collapsed on her.”
He was repeating information they already knew, but he couldn’t help himself. There was nothing else to say. This was the current reality, no matter how much it sucked.
Another hand pressed on his shoulder as Joel gave him a squeeze. “You want to hear the news now or wait until Travis is awake?”
“Travis is awake.” Across the bed Travis lifted a hand in the air, his voice rough and low like he’d been chain smoking for years. His eyes focused quickly as he sat forward. “What’s the word on the fire?”
“Vandalism that got out of control. A few of the high school kids thought it would be cool to do a circuit while so many people were at the picnic. Spray painted a few barns, tore up a few fields with their trucks.” Joel grimaced. “By the time they hit your place they’d had a few drinks, and leaving rude messages on the backside of the barn wasn’t enough.”
“Rude messages?” Travis’s question was clipped. Tight.
Joel’s gaze dropped to Cassidy’s for a minute, then back to his brother. “I’d rather not say.”
“Don’t try to spare my feelings,” Cassidy said. “Homophobic slurs aren’t going to kill…”
The actual possibilities implied in the unsaid part of his sentence crashed into him like an unexpected blow to the jaw. God. The band of fear across his chest tightened further, and he had to refrain from squeezing Ashley’s hand too tightly.
Travis sat up straighter, his gaze on Ashley’s pale face. “They lit the fires on purpose?”
“They said it was an accident. They decided it would be funny to burn a few boxes that were stored outside.” Joel folded his arms. “Dad and Blake are looking into it. Deciding if there’s enough to press charges. The only good part was one of the kids felt guilty and went back. Said he intended on making sure the fire was out, but it had gotten away, so he phoned it in. The kids certainly didn’t know there was anyone around who could get hurt.”
Vicki spoke softer as if to make doubly sure Ashley didn’t hear. “We pulled aside the paintings that were outside, but they’re pretty damaged. I don’t know if Ashley can fix them or not.”
Every part of the story made Cassidy ache harder. “First she has to get better.”
“We won’t stay.” Joel paced over to his brother. “Just wanted to let you know.”
“Thanks.” Travis rose and accepted Joel’s hug. “I’ll call you later.”
Vicki wormed into Cassidy’s arms and gave him a fierce hug of her own. She pulled back, face tight. “Take care of them, right?”
“Always.”
The room was back to silence but for the ventilator.
Silence, and guilt.
Cassidy forced his gaze off Ashley’s shallow breathing to Travis. Waiting for a sign of condemnation. For anger.
What he saw was so much more.
“T?”
Travis rose and came around the bed toward him. He knelt and caught Cassidy’s hand in his. “I’m sorry for everything that’s gone wrong over the past weeks.”
Cassidy paused. “There have been shitty moments, that’s for damn sure. But I don’t think you can take the blame for many of them.”
Travis trapped him. Pulled him against his chest and took his lips. Kissed him as if he’d never get another opportunity. Hunger and fear—at that moment they tasted the same, and Cassidy had to shove aside the guilt that flared for feeling a rush of emotion when the woman he’d fallen in love with was still in danger.
But the man he loved was kissing him with a need and a hurt that had to be answered. Cassidy caught Travis by the back of the neck and soothed him. Accepted his frantic kisses but also slowed things down. Slipped his fingers over Travis’s tight shoulders and pulled until there was enough room between them they could breathe.
Cassidy didn’t stop rubbing until Travis stopped shaking.
Jaw firmly set, Travis caught Cassidy’s hands. He lifted grey eyes framed by lashes darkened with moisture. “I love you.”
The words were spoken loud enough there could be no doubt. Not a casual afterthought. A deliberate and forceful statement.
Cassidy met Travis’s intense gaze. “I hear you. I’ve been hearing you say it for a long time, but it’s nice to have the words and actions, T. Nice to have it both ways, because I love you too.”
A deep breath shook Travis as tears welled up. “Bastard. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
Cassidy couldn’t help it. He caressed his thumb along Travis’s jaw. “Is it my turn to be the twelve-year-old in this relationship and make a smartass comment about being hard?”
That brought a reluctant smile to Travis’s lips. “Sure, we’ll take turns. Like everything else.”
“Can I have a turn too?” A soft, feminine voice, but raw and ragged.
They jerked apart, spinning toward the bed. Travis found his voice first. “Hey, baby.”
Ashley reached up to explore the oxygen tubes looping across her face toward her nostrils. She wrinkled her nose at the IV in the back of her hand then shrugged, slipping her tongue over her lips.
“Let me help.” Cassidy leaned over and kissed her gently before grabbing the small container of Vaseline the nurse had left on the side table.
Travis squeezed in, holding on to Cassidy as he reached for Ashley. “How you feeling?”
Ashley swallowed and grimaced. “Like a barn fell on me.”
It was funny and yet horrifying. Cassidy caught her fingers and found himself holding Travis’s hand at the same time.
“Anyone get hurt?” Ashley asked.
“Just you.”
She nodded slowly. “I’ll be okay. Once I give up my smoking habit.”
Travis attempted a laugh, but the sound died away quickly. “The fire wasn’t meant to deliberately hurt you, Ash. Some kids were being fools, and things got out of hand.”
Her eyes widened. “Shit, really? I wasn’t sure what happened. I was in the loft, thinking, and I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, there was smoke everywhere.”
“You got a lot of that smoke inside you. That’s why you’re on oxygen,” Cassidy explained, stroking her hair back. Ignoring the tubes and brushing her cheek. Needing to touch her—to reassure himself.
“They warned me about that in the ambulance. I’m not freaked out or anything.” Her expression tightened, the bright joy she usually exuded checked. “Did my paintings make it? I tried to take a few outside, and then a wall caved in and I got stuck. That part was scary…” Her voice faded away.
“Don’t talk too much.” Cassidy ignored her question. “Your throat must hurt like crazy.”
“Cassidy,” she warned. The fire was back in her eyes.
He shook his head. “The ones you took outside are smoke damaged and got bumped around. The r
est are gone. I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes and lay back, a tear sneaking from the corner of her eye and breaking his heart. “That fucking sucks.”
Travis wiped the moisture from her cheek tenderly. “Once you get out of here, we’ll do everything we can to help you.”
“Maybe I can get a postponement.” Her face tightened in frustration and sorrow. “But…shit.”
“Why’d you go home, Ash? Who upset you?” Travis asked.
The loss of her paintings had to cut hard, but Cassidy agreed—he wanted to know what had happened.
For a moment it looked as if she wasn’t going to answer. Then she sighed and turned her blue eyes on them, sadness in their depths like her heart was breaking. “I know it’s going to take time to settle in, and I’m not giving you two up, but you need to know I’m scared.”
Travis’s body tightened. “Scared of what? Of being hurt again? Because I swear that’s never—”
“No,” she laughed, the sound turning into a cough that took a few moments to calm. “God, no, not me. It’s your mom I’m worried about. And your nephews, and heck, all the family.”
Travis shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s why your mom’s been so quiet around me. Her friends are turning on her because I’m here and ruining you. Me and Cassidy.” She flicked her gaze to his. “See, you too can be a corruptive influence when you put your mind to it.”
God. “Stop joking around, baby, or I’ll paddle your fine butt, oxygen or no. Just who is turning on Marion?”
“People in town. I overheard it, me and Vicki.” She caught Travis’s hand. “I want you and Cassidy, but I can’t stand to think of your mom getting handed crap because of me. Or little Robbie? Or what about those precious baby girls of Blake and Jaxi’s? Down the road, are people going to attack them for being associated with us? People can be dicks to me, and I swear, I’ll hand it right back and leave them fucking reeling, but that—?”
Her voice was down to almost nothing. Travis pressed his fingers over her lips to stop the tirade. “I understand. Now, stop talking.”
