Through my silent sobs I heard David’s bedroom door close. If he found me in this state, he’d want to talk about it and I wasn’t strong enough to face him. What will he think when he finally found out what a slut I was?
Hoping it’ll deter him from making me talk, I curled up under the covers and faked being asleep. He didn’t come and, before I knew it, I was falling asleep.
***
Morning was horrible.
From the moment I opened my eyes, I heard the rain slashing down. Instinctively shivering, despite the warmth in my room, I sat up. My phone was still were I left it, a statement of how right I was to feel so dreadful. I would have preferred it if I didn’t wake up at all.
“Honey? Are you up?”
“Yes, Mum.”
She pushed the door open and stepped in quietly.
“You said you had an early train today and George and I are leaving in half an hour. We thought we could drop you off at the station.”
“Is David walking back?”
“Oh, no, he left last night.”
“He did?” I frowned, an indiscernible suspicion making its way to the surface of my mind.
“Yes. George was up when he left and he said a friend of his had a… crisis. His words.”
“Oh. OK, then. Give me a minute to start packing?”
As soon as Mother left me alone, the fake smile tensing up my facial muscles was gone, leaving behind an almost cramp-like pain. Play pretend was not easy, I was sure of that.
Since I had little time to get ready, I used the frenzy of packing to keep my mind away from what was awaiting me on campus. Despite the fear of losing everything, I knew that, if not for me, I had to get through this for my mum. And David; he had been a rock for me so far and I didn’t even knew the guy for five minutes.
The fact that, once she found out the truth about me, Mum would be devastated hurt the most, but I couldn’t disappoint David and stay with Alex. I was sure he would send the police at my door, in his crazy belief that I was an abused woman. Until things cleared up with that, Mother would find out in the worst way possible, and that was out of the question.
Besides, I was single. David was single…
“Shut up!” I said out loud. “He’s your freaking brother.”
Technically, he wasn’t, but it still wasn’t right. “Right?” I asked myself, as I tied my hair into a ponytail. “He doesn’t even like me like that anyway.”
On that conclusion, I grabbed my bag and went down into the living room.
“Everyone ready?” George asked, sounding like a teacher on a school trip.
“Let me fill this thermos with coffee,” I said and hurried into the kitchen.
In less that five minutes, we were on the road. Actually, it could’ve been more than that, seeing that my mind was completely scattered and I couldn’t remember a single thought that crossed it on my way to the station.
“Take care, sweetheart. Call me when you get there.”
“Bye, Mum.”
I kissed both her cheeks and run into the station. I had two minutes to find my train and get on.
It had been close to impossible, but I managed. As the old train screeched in protest against getting on the move, I found myself becoming sleepy. It could have been a good thing to sleep some more so I rested my head against the window.
The world was ending! It must’ve been an earthquake, I couldn’t hold onto anything. My body was being shaken like a limp puppet.
“Miss, wake up! Miss?”
“I’m up. Sorry. Where are we?” I mumbled, blinking the cobweb of the dream away.
“Last station. You need to get off.”
I nodded. The man helped me up and pulled my bag from its compartment.
“Thank you,” I said before wobbling out into the confiding air of the city. It was fortunate that the last stop was also my stop, otherwise I would’ve given into my first reaction upon being woken up and cried my eyes out.
“God, I need to get grip. Maybe a drink would help.”
The embarrassment of coming out of the store with the infamous brown paper bag deterred me from buying that drink. I knew Sarah had some vodka in the dormroom. If I survived the walk of shame to my room, I would reward myself with a glass.
On campus, I half expected my naked pictures to be plastered all over, like scandalous ads for everyone to see my secret, but I saw no sign of such a thing. In fact, aside from my own imagination misinterpreting people’s reactions, I suspected no one was looking at me sideways.
“OK, so things are good. That means something is terribly wrong.”
That was the thing with Alex. I had learned that, whenever things seemed at their best, they were usually the worst.
“Hey, roomie! You’re back.”
“Hey. Did you miss me?”
Sarah laughed out loud, and gave me her signature tight hug that could’ve incapacitated a professional wrestler.
“I’m surprised Alex didn’t come to pick you up.”
“Oh. About that… We broke up.”
I looked away, expecting one of her colorful lectures about how I was an idiot.
“Oh. That explains it, then,” was all she said instead.
I frowned. Had the world gone upside down?
“What do you mean?”
“He got into a fight last night. I thought you’d be all over him by now, but you two being broken up explains it.”
“A fight?”
“You haven’t heard.”
I took a couple of breaths to calm myself down. It was nothing, only Alex being Alex. I was not about to fall for another one of his dirty tricks.
“I didn’t know. I’m sure he was just blowing off steam.”
“Maybe. He’s alright, if you want to know.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about Alex, he can take care of himself. I’m more worried about the other guy, who was unfortunate enough to get in his way.”
“I don’t know who that is. And, there’s no pertinent gossip to consider. Maybe you should ask Alex.”
I smiled. “Then tell you so you can have your own juicy gossip to share, right?”
“I would never!” She feigned offence, but we both knew she most probably would. We burst into laughter and I could’ve sworn she was more amused by her talkative nature than I was. She even wiped off a tear.
“Oh, dear. Girl, you’re funny.”
“I am also running late for my class. See you later, Sarah.”
I left her in the common area and hurried into my bedroom. No time for vodka, I barely managed to put mascara on.
Nothing catastrophic had happened on my way to, during or after the class. People seemed to genuinely have no idea about my pictures.
“What’s his plan this time?” I kept asking myself as I waited in line to get a coffee.
“Morning, Eva.”
“Hey, Maggie. Can I have a mocha latte?”
“Sure.”
Shifting awkwardly from one foot to another, uncertain whether Maggie knew her brother and I weren’t together anymore. She acted nice, so I assumed she hadn’t gotten the news yet.
“So, how was your weekend? Heard you were on a vacation with your mum.”
“It was fine. Yours?”
“Meh. Nothing special. Worked most of the time.”
My coffee was ready. She handed it to me and I paid for it. That’s when I saw Alex. He was about to step into the shop and I wasn’t about to let him see me.
“Thanks, Maggie. I have to go, I have something to do,” I excused myself clumsily and turned to leave.
I had lost sight of Alex for a second so I chose to use the side door, just to be safe. Only my luck would’ve have it that I almost bumped into him.
“Stay away from me, you bitch,” he muttered.
“What?” I said, involuntarily.
His face wasn’t bruised and you could’ve thought the fight was just a rumor if not for the broken arm in a fresh cast.
“
You and your boyfriend? Stay away from me.”
“Boyfriend?”
“He got lucky this time, but tell him that I’m going to kill him when I see him. Fucking prick. What sort of guy beats up a younger guy? He got the drop on me, but he won't get lucky next time.”
“What sort of guy beats up a woman?” I spat and left him as shocked as I was, in the middle of the thinning crowd of students.
“What was that about?” I asked myself. I had never thought I could say something like that, and to Alex, of all people.
I didn’t have time to ponder the issue, however, as I needed to have a chat with David. He had to be the one who attacked Alex and I needed to set things straight.
Since I didn’t know where he was, a face-to-face confrontation was out of the question. I had to call him.
“Eva.”
His voice sent chills through my core, but I chased them away. This sort of pleasure had to be denied.
“David, what did you do?”
“He won’t bother you again. I told you.”
“A friend might ass… Wait, you’re not denying it?”
“No. I went there last night and we a had man to man…”
“You stupid man! You don’t know what you’ve done. You shouldn’t have. He… He can destroy me.”
“He won’t. He knows that if just one picture appears online, I will come for him. It doesn’t matter if someone else put it there.”
“Picture? What picture?”
I could see my world coming to an end. He knew.
“I know about what he did. And he betrayed your trust. I heard you last night and I just couldn’t sit around, doing nothing.”
“Why?”
I thought he hadn’t heard my question, I had spoken quietly. He paused.
“Because I like you.”
“I… You what?”
“And because you needed help. And for so many other reasons, I can’t think of them all. I don’t know. I wanted to help you, and he needed to learn. Who knows what sort of things he did to you. God, if he touched you…”
“Like rape me? No, he didn’t.”
He kept rambling. I felt stupid for blushing earlier. Of course he liked me, he had to, if we were to become siblings.
“It’s alright. Thanks. I could’ve taken care of myself.”
“Eva, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I… meant it.”
What was he talking about.
““I’ve got to go, I have a class in twenty minutes.” ”
“I’m staying at the Milano hotel. Room 205.”
I hang up, barely resisting the urge to throw the phone away. How much more stupid could I get?
***
I had been distracted all day, going over in my mind every word David had said.
“I meant it.” What did he want to say with that?
That he liked me? He meant that he liked me when he said it? Was he attracted to me?
I almost cried out of frustration at one point.
“Jesus, I need to find out!” I said out loud, rolling in my sheets. “Tomorrow I’ll talk to him.”
If everyone saying that sleeping on it would help with better judgement was to be believed, then I was being denied counsel by the mysterious gods that were supposed to untangle my thoughts while I slept. I couldn’t keep my eyes closed for the nervousness, let alone get any rest.
At the crack of dawn I was already staring at my phone, pondering whether it was too early to call David or not.
I had no classes until noon so there was plenty of time for a good face-to-face talk. But, was I making a mistake?
Maybe , I was blowing everything out of proportion, enabling my own confusing feelings to get the better of me. I had made a fool of myself enough times in front of David, I couldn’t bear the thought of him knowing about my feelings.
He would be grossed out. What if he told his father, and I ended up ruining my mother's relationship?
No, I couldn’t do that.
I spent the morning walking aimlessly through the park, didn’t even stop when it started raining. I didn’t notice I had forgotten my phone until I returned to my bedroom to get ready for class.
I picked it up and saw David had called me three times. I held my breath as I dialed him back.
“Hey, Eva. What's up?”
“You called me.”
“Yeah. I wanted to check up on you, see if you were OK. Are you?”
“I… What did you mean when you said you liked me?”
Disregarding the internal uproar advising my mouth to shut up, I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. There was no way out of this one.
He remained silent for what felt like the longest time. He must’ve been looking for the right words to tell me I was insane and that I should stay away from him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“You shouldn’t have?”
“It doesn’t mean anything. Look, you're a pretty girl, smart and everything. I’m sure there are lots of guys within your reach that you should be spending your time questioning.”
“I am not questioning you. I just wanted to know for sure what you meant.”
“I didn’t mean anything.”
I took a deep breath to stop the pesky tears that wanted to choke me up before apologizing for my silliness and hanging up.
“Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I cried. “How could you be so fucking stupid?”
David didn’t give me enough time to answer that, as he was calling again.
“Yes?”
“Are you busy now?”
“I have a class in… Oh, God! I’m twenty five minutes late!”
“OK. Then you better hurry.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re already late?”
“No, why did you ask?”
“Oh. Nothing really. I wanted to see you. Talk in person, but nevermind that.”
“Stop being an idiot!”
I could picture his shocked expression. “Sorry?”
“Stop saying something and then pretend it never happened. It’s not fair. Just man up, for goodness’ sake!”
“I’m sorry…”
“Oh, for the love of… Just come over. I’m skipping this class.”
***
Silence wasn’t always awkward. For example, now.
I was sitting so close to David, I could’ve sat on his lap. I was looking at him, watching his face. And he was looking back.
“You meant it.” It was a statement. I wasn’t asking him anything. His eyes told me what I wanted to know.
“I don’t know how this happened, I’ve never been like this. And I couldn't tell you. To be honest, I’m surprised you didn’t run away in disgust.”
I started laughing.
“What?”
“Oh, God. You’re an idiot.”
“Thank you. That’s the second time you call me that.”
“And I am an idiot. I was thinking the exact same thing. Needless to say, we were both wrong.”
“What do you mean?” He looked terribly confused, which amused me even more.
“I mean I like you too.”
I could’ve sworn he was blushing. I opened my mouth to say something about it, but he stopped me. Or I had just passed out from my concussion and was hallucinating.
Was he kissing me?
If my senses were to be trusted, David had just shut me up by putting his lips over mine. That was a kiss, I was sure of it.
Then his tongue slipped between my lips and started wreaking havoc in my mind. If it were just a hallucination, I might as well enjoy it. I moaned.
He chuckled into our kiss, reminding me that everything was real.
“You seem to be enjoying yourself.”
Pursuit: A Bad Boy Romance Page 28
