Eliza looked enchanting with her spiky hair freshly done, her cheeks pink with excitement, her long, gangly legs sticking out the bottom of the ridiculous costume. Now, if Kate could only get this darned tail to stay in the right place—
“But he always comes with you, you always watch me together.” Kate sighed. Eliza wasn’t going to let it go.
“Not this time.” The truth shall make you free. “This time I’m not going with your daddy. Mr. O’Connor asked me to sit with him. I told you that, remember?”
Eliza jerked away and Kate stabbed a needle into her middle finger.
“Ouch, Eliza, you’ve got to hold still.” She sucked her stabbed finger. “We have to leave soon and this tail is drooping.”
“That’s not fair.” Eliza’s face was scarlet, her blue eyes mutinous. “You should sit with my daddy, not with Mr. O’Connor.”
Kate struggled to remain calm. “Eliza, you know your daddy and I aren’t married anymore. When people aren’t married, they have other friends.”
“But you and Daddy are friends. You always sit with Daddy at my dance things.”
“I always have, yes. But tonight I’m not going to. That doesn’t mean your daddy can’t come on his own.” Kate was feeling worse and worse about this whole thing.
“But he won’t.” Tears poured down Eliza’s face. “You know he won’t come by himself. He likes to come with you. And I want him to be there.”
“Then you need to tell him that.”
“You tell him. You’re the grown-up, not me.” Eliza tore off the costume, splitting several seams that Kate had painstakingly stitched.
“If my daddy doesn’t come, it’s all your fault,” she hollered as she tore off in search of her father.
Kate sewed the costume together and had a quick shower, feeling tense and edgy. She put on a pair of amber silk trousers and a matching top, gave her hair a quick brush, and went looking for Eliza.
“All ready, sweetie?” The girl was sitting in Kate’s kitchen, her costume stuffed in a carrier bag. Crossing her fingers mentally, Kate said, “Is your daddy going to come watch you perform?”
“He said maybe.” Eliza shot Kate an angry look, and she didn’t say another word during the drive to the studio.
Tony was waiting just inside the entrance. He looked at Kate and silently whistled, and for an instant she felt a rush of pleasure. But Eliza ignored his cheerful greeting, and once again Kate felt embarrassed by her stepdaughter’s behavior.
Eliza didn’t respond when Kate gave her a good-luck hug and assured her she was going to be the best rabbit that had ever danced a tap solo.
One of the dressers came and took Eliza backstage, and for the first time she could remember, Kate was relieved to see her go.
“I’ve snagged us the best seats in the house,” Tony said. “Is Eliza having a little attack of stage fright? I thought McKensy might, but she said she’s enjoying herself too much to be scared. She disappeared the minute we got here.” He escorted Kate through the maze of chairs, seating her as he’d promised, front row, center. “Can I get you a drink? They have soda or coffee, and bottled water.”
“I need something cold and wet. Water, please.”
Tony left her, and Kate turned and anxiously searched the crowd for Scott. Surely he wouldn’t let Eliza down. But there was no sign of him.
The noise level increased as more and more parents and friends arrived, and by the time the lights dimmed and the recital began, the small room was filled to capacity. Kate looked around several more times for Scott. She knew it was unlikely in the extreme that he’d appear now, but for Eliza’s sake she kept hoping.
“Here we go.” Tony reached over and took Kate’s hand in his as first McKensy, wearing a green costume covered with scales, and then Eliza, with her bunny ears, fur bodysuit and crooked tail came on stage.
Kate caught a glimpse of Tony’s face. It was filled with humor and intense pride as he watched his daughter capering across the stage. McKensy had spotted Tony, and although she wasn’t allowed to wave at him, Kate could tell she was dancing her heart out for her father.
Eliza also saw Kate. Their eyes met, then Kate watched the girl scan the crowd, searching for Scott. When she didn’t see him, she went on with her dance, but there was no energy in it.
Like all the dance recitals Kate had attended, this one went on far too long, but this time she wasn’t bored at all. She was far too conscious of Tony holding her hand, of the way he’d threaded his fingers through her own, cradling her hand on his thigh, stroking his thumb across her skin and making her shiver. But she knew, too, that Eliza’s sharp gaze had spotted them holding hands. There was no reason in the world to feel guilty, but she did.
When at last the final number was over and the curtain calls came to an end, they got to their feet and waited for the girls to finish changing and find them. McKensy was first out of the dressing room. She flew to her father and threw her arms around his waist.
“Hey, duchess, you were the best dancing troll I’ve ever seen.” He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small box tied with gold ribbon. “My compliments, mademoiselle.”
“Ooh, Papa, thank you.” Eyes shining, McKensy tore open the box, revealing a delicate silver chain with a pewter troll dangling from it. “I love it, I love it,” she crowed.
Kate cursed herself for not doing something similar for Eliza, who walked slowly out of the dressing room just as McKensy asked Kate to fasten the troll around her neck for her.
“Eliza, over here.” Kate thought for a moment the girl hadn’t seen them, because she stopped some distance away and stood in the middle of the crowd.
“Eliza?”
At last, she came slowly toward them.
“Eliza, you were wonderful,” Kate enthused. She drew the girl into her arms and hugged her close, kissing her cheek. Eliza’s body was stiff, her expression stony.
Tony added his congratulations, and then pulled out another small box with the same gold ribbon from his suit pocket and handed it to Eliza.
“For the best of the bunnies,” he complimented.
“Open it, Eliza, I’ll bet it’s like mine,” McKensy urged. “Only you’ll have a bunny instead of a troll, right, Papa?”
“I don’t want it.” Eliza thrust the gift at Kate without even glancing at Tony or McKensy. “I want to go home now.”
“But we’re going out to dinner.” Kate had to hold on to her temper. Eliza’s deliberate rudeness was becoming intolerable
“I’m not hungry. I want to go home, Kate.”
“Would you excuse us for a moment, please?” Kate took Eliza’s arm in a firm grip and marched her into the crowded washroom, searching for a corner that afforded a bit of privacy.
There was none. Every cubicle was full, and people were waiting in line. Kate bent down to Eliza’s level, and in a quiet voice she said, “Okay, young lady, just what’s going on with you?”
Eliza’s mouth opened wide and she let out a shriek that had everyone in the room staring. When Kate tried to put her arms around her, Eliza lashed out at her with her fists and her feet, screaming, “Go away. I don’t want you, I want my daddy.”
A blow to her cheekbone made Kate’s eyes water. Then Eliza’s foot connected with her shin, and Kate gasped in pain. She grabbed Eliza’s fists in her own and held on. “Eliza, stop that this minute. Hitting is not allowed.”
“She needs a good smack, in my opinion,” an older woman declared, shaking her white head in disapproval. “In my day, children weren’t allowed to act like that.”
Two small girls watched from a few feet away, eyes wide. One of the mothers smiled at Kate, her expression sympathetic.
Kate took a deep breath, trying to focus on Eliza rather than her audience and her own exasperation. Eliza was still shrieking at the top of her lungs, and then the shrieks turned into words. “I hate you. Go away. I want my daddy.”
A cubicle was vacant, and Kate tugged Eliza inside and shut t
he door. Eliza slumped down on the floor, arms over her head, her shouts turning into sobs.
Kate waited for what felt like an eternity. She stroked Eliza’s head and tried not to think about Tony and McKensy waiting outside. She tried to rationalize the frustration and outright anger she felt. She wanted to go out to dinner with Tony. She wanted Eliza to behave well, the way McKensy did. She wanted a chance tonight at a life that approached normal.
When Eliza had calmed somewhat, Kate said, “Okay, kid, we can’t stay in this toilet all night. Tony and McKensy are waiting outside. It’s not fair to just let them wait.”
“I don’t care about them. I want to go home,” Eliza sobbed. “I want my daddy.”
“Okay.” Kate thought for a moment. “I’ll drop you at home before the rest of us go for dinner.”
Eliza’s head shot up and she glared at Kate with swollen, teary eyes. “I want you to stay home, too.”
Kate’s patience was slipping. “Sorry, Eliza. I promised I’d go out to dinner with Tony and McKensy, and that’s what I’m doing. I’ll drop you at home first, though, if you’re really sure that’s what you want.”
“That’s not fair.” Eliza began to wail again. “I don’t want you to go with them.”
“Eliza, I’m losing my patience with you. Get up and we’ll wash your face with some cool water, and then we’re out of here.”
But Eliza stayed huddled in a ball on the floor.
At her wit’s end, Kate got to her feet and lifted the heavy girl into her arms. It was like carrying a bag of limp, soggy laundry. Good thing she was strong, Kate thought, struggling her way out of the cubicle. Deciding to skip the face washing, she staggered into the reception area, which was now deserted except for Tony and McKensy, waiting on a bench near the door.
Tony got up and came toward her, extending his arms in an offer to take Eliza. The girl’s face was buried in Kate’s neck, but she must have seen through the corner of her eye what was happening, because she wound her arms so tight around Kate’s neck it became difficult to breathe.
“Eliza, loosen up, you’re choking me to death.” Kate’s patience was nearing an end. She managed to get a breath and gasped, “I’m sorry, but she’s decided she wants to go home, so could I meet you at the restaurant?”
“We can follow you home, and then you can ride with us,” Tony offered.
Kate thought it over. “You’re already late with your reservation. I’ll meet you there.” She was furious with Eliza for causing such problems.
“Fine.” He wrote down the address and then put a hand on Eliza’s head. “Bye, Eliza. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”
Stony silence.
He slipped the little package he’d brought for Eliza into Kate’s handbag and held first one door and then the other so she could dump her burden into the passenger seat of her car. Eliza curled into a ball and wrapped her arms around her head.
“See you in about half an hour,” Kate promised in a bright tone that belied the way she was feeling. It took every bit of her self-control to keep silent on the drive home. When she pulled up in front of her house, she felt the urge to scream. For the first time in weeks, Scott’s beaten up old car wasn’t in the driveway.
Foreboding filled Kate even as she snapped, “Okay, Eliza, here we are. Let’s go find your daddy.”
But that was impossible, because Scott wasn’t home.
THERE WAS NO WAY KATE could leave Eliza by herself, and four frantic calls confirmed there were no baby-sitters available at the last moment.
Feeling mad enough to smash something, Kate called the restaurant and told Tony she couldn’t make it. She could hear the same disappointment in his voice that she felt.
Eliza was sitting on the living room couch, tears dry now, shoulders slumped. For the first time ever, Kate found it difficult to summon up sympathy for the little girl.
To calm herself, she put the kettle on and found a chamomile tea bag. Taking a deep breath she prayed for patience. Once the tea was steeped, she returned to the living room and sat down beside her stepdaughter.
“We need to talk about this, Eliza.”
But Eliza, her expression closed tight, got to her feet. “I’m going to have a bath and put my jammies on.” She started to walk away and then turned and gave Kate a woebegone look. “Please, please can I sleep in your bed tonight, Kate?”
Her voice quavered and she looked so pathetic Kate’s heart melted. What was there to say except yes? There’d been enough drama for one night, she decided. They could discuss this whole thing another time.
She poured her best bubble bath into the tub and washed Eliza’s back. While the little girl got her pajamas on, Kate warmed a glass of milk for her and made them each a grilled cheese sandwich. Neither of them mentioned the scene at the dance studio.
When Eliza was asleep at last in Kate’s bed, her blankie against her cheek and her tattered old teddy tucked under one arm, Kate stood looking down at her. The blond spiky hair was still damp from the bath, and Eliza’s skin looked translucent in the soft light. Her long lashes were dark shadows on her rosy cheeks. The last vestige of Kate’s anger melted and overwhelming love filled her heart. She bent and pressed a kiss against Eliza’s temple. She loved this child with all her heart. She often thought she’d give up her own life for the girl.
And then a traitorous little voice in her head whispered, Aah, but isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?
Shocked, Kate tiptoed out of the bedroom and sank into one of her comfortable living room chairs. She’d built a trap for herself by having Scott and Eliza live here, in her house. How would she ever get free?
She was attracted to Tony. Hell, that was the understatement of the year. She wanted to get naked with him, she wanted to know what he looked like, last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
And how was she going to accomplish that with Eliza in her bed and Scott in her apartment? A wave of depression threatened to engulf her. It was hopeless. It would be years before Eliza was grown, and until then she was stuck with Scott.
C’mon, Lewis. You’re good at solving problems. You do it all day at work. So why, no matter how hard she tried, couldn’t she see a clear solution to her own situation? She sat pondering over it, and jumped when the phone rang. It was Tony, it had to be.
“Kate?” Leslie’s voice was thick and high, almost unrecognizable.
“What’s the matter, Les?” Kate was instantly alert. She’d talked to Leslie twice on the weekend, and again this morning.
“It’s Mom.” Leslie’s voice broke. “She’s—she’s gone, Kate.”
For an instant, Kate didn’t understand.
“She—she died an hour ago.” Leslie broke down in great, gulping sobs. It took several moments before she regained enough control to tell Kate what had happened. “When I got home from work, her voice was slurred. She couldn’t walk, her right side was paralyzed. She—she was there alone. I thought she was getting better…today was the first time I didn’t have my neighbor stay with her. I rushed her into Emerg and they did everything they could, but she—she’s gone, Kate.”
While she was frantically trying to figure out who she could get to stay with Eliza, Kate heard Scott’s car pull into the driveway.
“Les, where are you?”
“I’m at St. Joe’s. The staff lounge in Emerg. I can’t seem to think straight or figure out where to go or what to do.”
“Stay right where you are. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Kate hung up and raced downstairs.
Scott was just coming in the basement door.
“Eliza’s asleep in my bed, I have to go out.” She glared at him. “She was devastated that you didn’t come to her recital.”
“I meant to. But then one of the guys dropped by, and it got too late.” He looked sheepish and hangdog.
“How can you live with yourself, letting her down like that? Eliza was really upset.”
“Well, you were the
re, weren’t you? With your boyfriend,” he added with a sly grin. “I figured three’s a crowd. And I didn’t really promise Eliza I’d come, anyway, I just said maybe.”
He was an idiot. He didn’t deserve a daughter like Eliza. Kate stared at him, her temper barely in check. She had to leave, she reminded herself. She had to be with Leslie. There was no point in getting into anything with Scott.
“I don’t know what time I’ll be back,” she snapped. “Make sure you set the alarm and get her up and ready for school in the morning.”
“I always do, don’t I?”
“I seem to recall a lot of times when you’ve slept in, and I’ve driven her to school,” Kate reminded him. He was infuriating. Without another word, she turned on her heel and went back upstairs, grabbed her handbag and raced out to her car.
LESLIE LOOKED ON THE VERGE of collapse. Kate put her arms around her friend and held her. Les was trembling, and her breathing was fast and shallow. She was obviously in shock.
Several nurses came in and began heating soup in the microwave and talking among themselves.
“Let’s go up to my office,” Kate suggested. “I’ll make some tea, and we can talk.” She took Leslie’s arm, and the other woman followed her like an automaton, down the hall, into the elevator, upstairs.
Kate unlocked her office door and switched on the floor lamp.
“Sit down, Les. I’ll plug the kettle in.”
“I want to kill him,” Leslie burst out. “I want to kill him with my bare hands.”
Puzzled, Kate turned to her. “Kill who, Les?”
“Dr. Hersh,” she spat out. “Remember, I told you that when I brought Mom in to Emerg, Hersh diagnosed labyrinthitis? She didn’t have that at all. She had an aneurysm, I’d bet everything on it. There’ll be an—” her voice broke “—an autopsy, and it’ll show that I’m right, I just know it. Hersh didn’t even bother doing tests on her. I asked him to, and he brushed me off. I told you, remember?”
Kate did remember. She sat down and took Leslie’s cold hand in hers, and her concern for her friend grew. “You think if Hersh had done the tests, it might have made a difference?”
The Family Doctor Page 10
