by Frankie Love
"He’s a judge, here in Boise."
"Like a legit judge?" I ask as the wheels of my truck grind to a halt.
She nods. "Are you mad I didn't tell you? Everyone always gets all nervous when they hear what he does for a living. Makes people think he's gonna be giving them the stink eye. That's why I didn't mention it."
"It's okay. I mean, he's gonna tell you I'm not good enough, but I can cross that bridge when we get to it."
I turn off the ignition, looking at her father's mansion. I know her mom died when she was little and that she's an only child, but I guess I didn't realize how loaded her father was. I swallow, wondering how he will size me up. The idea of proving myself to him seems impossible, but I'll try--hell I'll do whatever it takes to win him over.
"Don't assume the worst," Josie says, reaching for my hand. "Once he gets to know you he will see what a wonderful man you are. We can show him all the work on Granddad's house and he'll be impressed. I'm sure of it."
I nod, wanting to trust her.
Holding her hand, we walk to the door and she pushes it open without knocking. I suppose it makes sense. She grew up here, but as she calls for her dad, I'm forced to think about my own father. The deadbeat alcoholic who never changed, no matter how badly I needed a parent.
I know she holds her father in high regard and hell, he's a judge, so it’s no wonder why.
I run a hand over my beard and follow her inside.
But then I see him.
Her dad.
And my vision goes blurry.
My memories return.
No. Fucking. Way.
Chapter 8
Josie
I don't know what is happening, but it's bad. I look at my father and it's as if he's seen a ghost--but my dad doesn't believe in the supernatural--he only believes in what he can see with his own two eyes.
Facts and justice and honor and integrity. Those are the pillars that rule his life.
"What is it?" I ask, looking from him to the man beside me. The man who has shown me what it means to open my heart to love when I least expected to find it. The man who swept into my diner and sat down to eat and somehow filled the empty spaces of my heart within a few days.
But something is wrong. Beau's face is tense, his eyes narrow, anger rising in him and he takes a step back from my father.
"Beau, this is my dad, Judge Michael Smith."
"Smith." Beau looks at me. "I knew you were Josie Smith, but this... he can't...
Beau looks like he's seen a ghost too. Or maybe his scariest nightmare.
"What the hell is this man doing here, with you, Josie?" Dad asks with a steady voice that tells me something serious is happening. Dad has always been able to see through the bullshit and understand right from wrong. When his voice gets low and gravelly it is because he isn't messing around.
"What?" I ask, shaking my head in confusion. "Daddy, why are you getting so mad?" I wasn't expecting sunshine and rainbows from this first dinner together, but I also wasn't expecting such hostility. "This is Beau. Beau Montgomery. My boyfriend."
"Your what?" Dad nearly chokes as he asks the question.
"My boyfriend."
"I heard that," Dad says. "But this man is--"
Beau looks at me, the hurt in his eyes palpable. "Your father was the judge who sent me to prison, Josie. He is the man who--" Beau stops. And I can see by his clenched fists that he is ready to burst with rage. I've never seen him mad. Sad, sure, when he confessed to me the story of his past, but this emotion is something else entirely. This is fury.
"The man who determined that you should remain behind bars," my dad says vehemently. "I remember you, Beau Montgomery. How dare you try and--"
"He didn't do it, Dad," I say. "He's innocent." But even as I say it, I find myself second guessing my words.
How could my dad, the most respected man I know, who has spent his career determining right from wrong--be wrong now?
But then I look at Beau, his story having sounded so genuine, so honest... suddenly sounding foolish if I were to repeat it to my dad.
"This can't be happening, Josie. This bastard and you... He told you he was innocent? Even though the evidence pointed to this piece of work? You need to leave. You aren't welcome in my home. Not now, not ever."
I look at Beau, his eyes burning with anger as I reach for him, not wanting him to leave. But he flinches at my touch.
"I won't stay where I'm not wanted," he says.
"No, don't go, Beau. Dad." I look from one man to the other, my heart is torn and broken. They both can't be right, yet one of them is wrong.
I squeeze my eyes shut, completely unable to comprehend a world in which neither of these men is in it. Knowing if my father is telling the truth, then that means Beau has been lying to me this entire time.
It would mean Beau is terrifying in the worst way.
"You are smarter than this, Josie," Dad says. "I remember this case clearly even though it was five years ago. You don't forget a name like Beau Montgomery and you certainly don't forget the images of a trunk filled with those kinds of weapons." My father shakes his head in disgust. "Selling drugs to kids. That’s what this man you are with was doing."
I cover my mouth, unable to imagine Beau doing that.
"It's time you go."
"Daddy, don't..." I say, but even I know my words sound weak. Allowing Beau to stay means I'm telling my father, to his face, that I think he is a liar. That he gave a wrong judgment.
Beau turns to face me. He presses a hand to my cheek, not looking in my father's direction.
"Listen to me, Josie. I've been working on borrowed time my whole damn life. I should have prepared myself for losing you, but dammit, girl," he says, "I love you but looks like you’ve already made your choice. I’m outta here."
I falter at his words, scared. We haven't said I love you... not so explicitly and a sliver of doubt creeps into my mind. Is he only saying it now because he's scared of losing me?
By not answering though, it seems Beau has an answer.
He shakes his head. He lets go of my cheek, looking my father in the eyes. "You're wrong about me. You don't know where I come from and you don't know what I'm capable of. But that also doesn't mean you know what kind of man I am. It means you never will."
Beau leaves then, heading out the front door, leaving it open and getting in his Scout International. I walk to the front porch, my cheeks wet with tears and confusion wracking my body.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake.
But then my dad wraps an arm around my shoulder and tells me it's all going to be okay.
I want to believe him.
But right now, I can't see anything clearly.
Right now, everything is a broken blur.
Chapter 9
Josie
Growing up with a father who is a judge meant that as a teenager, curfews were enforced. There was no gray area when it came to parties and if I wanted to date someone, they better pass Dad's personal background check.
But as I got older, Dad grew slightly more relaxed, realizing at some point that when I was in college he couldn't dictate whether or not I went to a kegger at a frat house.
It's been years since I brought a guy home, but even then, it was never a man like Beau. A man with muscles and true grit and eyes that told a story my father never lived, not by a long shot.
My dad always made six figures, had colleagues who respected him, and the greatest heartache of his life was losing my mom. But even her death was something he prepared for. She had cancer and we all had time to say goodbye. Of course, there is never enough time when it comes to losing the love of your life, but he had decades’ worth of memories with her and he always said he was lucky to have had the chance to love her at all.
But I should have been more thoughtful.
I'm so selfish. And as I watch Beau drive away in his truck, the realization hits me hard.
I should have been more
thoughtful toward my father, and more thoughtful toward Beau. I was so caught up in my own love story I forgot that fact this would blindside them both.
Beau went to prison and my father sent him there.
"Josie," Dad says, calling me back inside. "Let's get you inside, sweetheart."
I let him wrap his protective arm around me, and then I ask to see the pictures from Beau's case. It's impossible to reconcile the man who I gave my heart to with the man my father called a monster.
"Josie, I don't think that's such a good idea. Why don't we eat? I made a roast chicken."
I shake my head. "I'm not hungry. It’s just a lot to take in, Dad. I love Beau, but now? It’s just more than I can take." I start crying in my hands, my shoulders shaking.
"Oh, Josie. Love? He's a criminal."
"I need to see to believe, Dad."
He must realize it's a lost cause to try and reason with me.
"Hold tight, Josie. Go get something to drink and I'll go look at some old files, okay? Maybe if you saw some pictures of what he was carrying in that car you’d understand."
I nod, wiping my eyes. "Thank you, Daddy."
"Anything for you, Josie. I just hate to see you cry."
He walks away, and I am grateful he is such a reasonable father. He's doing everything he can to make sure I'm okay, which makes my head and heart ache.
Beau lied to me.
Broke my heart.
A while later, Dad calls me into his study and asks me to take a seat in front of his computer monitor.
The images he shows me cause me to flinch, gasp, and shake my head.
No. No. No.
I want to believe Beau Montgomery, but the truth is that while Beau had the drugs and the guns and the money-- he had no alibi.
My father sent him to prison with a good conscience.
I thought I fell in love with Beau in the space of a few weeks, but maybe that isn't how love works. Maybe my friends just got lucky when they fell head over heels in a few days flat. Maybe my love story won't ever look like theirs.
Because I fell hard too and look what happened.
My heart cracked into a thousand pieces.
Chapter 10
Beau
My heart’s a fucking tornado as I drive back to the mountain. I am a man filled with fury, a storming vessel that is hell-bent on destruction.
Right now, though, the only thing I want to ruin is myself.
I spent my life being in the wrong place at the wrong time and today is no fucking exception.
I told Josie my truth and it wasn't enough. I told her about prison and being wrongfully sentenced, but that isn't enough either.
The goddamn story of my life.
The man I am is never enough.
And damn, Josie is more than enough. She is my goddamn everything.
I want to get hammered. I want the memories of her father telling me to get off his property to fade into oblivion.
I pull my truck into the bar at the base of the mountain. This watering hole is nothing but a dive, and that is the perfect place to drown.
I push into the bar, and who do I see sitting at that bar but Hawk and Jax, a pitcher of beer between them. I lower my head, running a hand through my hair, not in a place to fucking tell a soul what just went down.
"Hey, Beau," they call out. "Take a seat, man."
I can't just turn and walk away, so I man up and head their way.
"What's up, man? Thought you were going to Josie's dad's tonight."
I shake my head and Hawk hands me a beer. "I was there, but I left pretty damn fast. It got ugly."
Jaxon narrows his brows. "What happened?"
I groan, fucking hating the truth of it. Still, I know Jax took a chance on me and I owe him this much.
I tell them the shitty truth, and when I finish, they're shaking their heads. "Look, I don't expect shit from you guys. You want me out, I'll go. But the truth is, I didn't lie to Josie. I know the man whose crime I paid for."
"Do you know where the guy is?" Hawk asks. "Because the only way you’re going to clear your name is if you find him."
Jax twists his lips, doubting that. "I don't know, man. What is Beau gonna do? Drag him by the neck to Josie's dad's house and force a confession?"
I sit up straighter. "That's exactly what I should do, but fuck, he won't go down without a fight. He has connections, you know?"
Hawk runs a hand over his beard. "When James was looking for Cherish, we drove all over the Pacific Northwest looking for her. You can't quit before you've even started."
"I can go looking for Tommy, but he is the sort of man who will only be seen when he wants to be found."
"He knows you’re out?" Hawk asks.
I nod. "Apparently, he was looking for me. Wants to kill me before I can fucking make him pay. Which I don’t even intend to do."
"Can you get him here?" Hawk asks.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, let Tommy know you wanna talk. Lure him in. Then take him down."
The thought of fighting the kind of fight Tommy would be interested in makes me sick. I can't fucking do prison again.
But that was before Josie.
"How badly do you care about being with Josie," Jaxon asks. "Because if you don't…"
I cut him off. "It may have only been a few weeks, but that girl is my world. I'll fucking do anything to have her trust."
I don't want to fucking tear up in this bar, so I clench my fists under the table, trying to get myself in check. I came in here tonight looking to forget, but now…?
Now, all I want to do is remember.
Josie.
I will get her back, even if it's the last thing I do.
Chapter 11
Josie
It can't be happening.
No.
No. No.
But it is.
Positive.
I’m on the pill but I guess in this case, statistics weren’t on my side.
There is no doubt about it.
I took ten tests to be sure.
"Josie?" Dad calls, knocking on the bathroom door. "We really need to get to the college registrar’s office before it closes. They're expecting us, so you can sign up for classes."
With shaky hands, I know I can't hide this. Nothing good will come of that.
Especially after my Dad has been nothing but patient with me the last few weeks. He's talked through options with me. We've made lists of pros and cons.
Options:
1) Stay at Granddad's house and work at the diner.
2) Move back to the city and work on my master’s degree.
I know I don't want a job at a bank, I'd want a master’s degree in finance that could help families make choices to give them financial freedom. At least it would be a job I'd feel good about.
But these options offer drastically different lives.
And I love the mountain. I do. And Granddad’s house feels like home, but Beau is there.
And I don't want to let one man determine my life choices, but at the same time, staying there, hoping for a new man to waltz into town and give me the life I want seems so ridiculous. Instead, I could have a career and make my own life without waiting for a man to give it to me.
I know what Dad thinks.
But those lists were made before I took these tests today.
"Dad," I say, putting on my bravest face and opening the bathroom door. "I have to tell you something."
"What is it?" he asks, his eyes wide with concern as he takes in my blotchy face.
"I'm pregnant. With Beau Montgomery's baby."
----
"When are you coming back?" Jonah asks. I've been at my dad’s for over a month. At first, I planned on going back to the mountain but now everything has changed.
But I don't know how to tell my best friend that.
My dad took it well as if he had prepared himself for the worst. Maybe after a lifetime of working with criminals he had.
<
br /> But being pregnant is not a crime.
It's a gift, a blessing... at least in a lot of cases.
And even though my child is the size of a blueberry, it feels like a burden too heavy for me to bear.
"I don't know when I'll be back," I say honestly. "I think I'll be here awhile though. Knowing Beau's still at the mountain, it's hard to imagine returning."
"So, you're just staying away for good because he lied?"
"I don't know. I love him, Jonah. Or at least loved him. I don't know." I brush away the tears and am grateful I didn't place this call on FaceTime.
"I know, Josie. But everyone here feels like they're between a rock and a hard place. The men on this mountain are all about second chances and Beau's a hard worker who's helping Buck and Jaxon out. And you know how Hawk influences their opinions. He's all about letting Beau stay--especially since he served his time. People change, you know?"
"But he still lied to me, Jonah. And I'd be lying if I said this didn't hurt.
My closest friends are siding with him."
"No one's siding with anyone, Jos." Jonah sighs, and I hate that I'm putting him in the position to be the go-between. It isn't fair. "Maybe it's best for you to stay at your dad's place until you start to feel less..."
"Heartbroken?"
"Yeah."
I swallow; the whole truth on the tip of my tongue, but I'm scared Jonah will accidentally say more than he should to my friends out on the mountain.
"Okay, enough about me," I say to avoid talking anymore about myself. "How are things on your end?"
Jonah sighs through the phone. "Steph says she's gonna come visit this summer. You think that's a bad idea?"
I sit cross-legged on the carpet in my bedroom and think about that for a second. Steph was his girlfriend last year when he was living in Florida. She worked at a tattoo parlor and though I've never met her, I know she and Jonah fought a lot.
And then she cheated on him.
