by Amy Sumida
“But I didn't want that; an open relationship,” I whispered. “Tiernan didn't, and now you don't either.”
“We decided to go another way, to focus solely on each other,” Raza sighed deeply. “But that doesn't change what you feel.”
“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “I want to be with you. I've made my decision. I'll get over Tiernan. I just needed to be a friend to him tonight.”
“I love you, mo shíorghrá,” Raza took my hand. “And that means I want you to be happy. Killing a piece of your heart won't make you happy.”
“Neither will hurting yours,” I leaned forward to kiss him. “I'm a big girl, I can deal with this. Loving you is not a tragedy, Raza. It's a blessing,”
Raza shook his head and frowned.
“If you developed feelings for another woman, I wouldn't tolerate it,” I said firmly. He jerked his gaze to mine. “I wouldn't accept it. I would leave you, and possibly get violent on my way out.”
“I know,” he said.
“You don't think that's unfair?” I asked. “Horrible of me? Selfish?”
“Maybe a little selfish,” he smiled. “But you were raised human. It's hard enough for you to accept that you can love more than one man, to expect you to accept that I could love multiple women, would be too much.”
I scowled and looked away from him. Even hearing him talk about the possibility of him loving another woman made me irrationally angry.
“So it's a good thing I can't love another,” Raza whispered.
“You can't?” I looked back to him.
“There's no one else for me, Seren,” Raza said simply. “I've lived long enough, and been with enough women, to know that. You're the love of my very long life.”
I fell into his embrace, my face tucking into the hollow of his throat. His arms came around me, and I sighed. This was how I should have felt earlier, with his wing around me. This peaceful bliss. This was what being with Raza was like for me.
“If you will be my queen, commit to me in marriage, then I will allow you to have other consorts,” Raza said softly. “You won't have to feel guilty for not allowing me the same freedom you have. It's against our laws for a married king to have consorts.”
I closed my eyes and hid my face in his chest. I felt him lay his cheek against the top of my head, his heartbeat steady in my ear. This wasn't the place for that discussion, if there even was a good place for it. I didn't want to answer him, my mind was whirling and my heart racing. How could Raza be so calm? How could he simply offer me this, after all those vows between us? The things he said about wanting me only for himself. The way he sat there, so angry, just minutes earlier. How could he shift so quickly? It made my head spin.
“Easy, mo shíorghrá,” Raza stroked my hair. “You're letting your human side confuse you. Just as I let my dragon nature confuse me. Love cannot be possessive. I know that now. I have to be generous with you, or I'll smother the very parts of you I love the most. This doesn't mean that I desire you less or that I love you less. Even now, my dragon roars at me for my betrayal. But my love for you is stronger than he is. It's stronger than my love for him.”
“I can't,” I pulled away from him. “I can't cause this conflict in you and be content. Don't you understand that? Just as you want me to be happy, so do I want you to be happy.”
“Having you for my wife will make me supremely happy,” Raza smiled. “Enough to accept whatever brings you joy.”
“Marriage,” I let out a long breath.
“You say you love me,” Raza stroked the amethyst stripe in my hair. “You say it's forever. So why do these vows frighten you?”
“This isn't the time,” I shook my head. “Moire... the witches... the elves.”
“I refuse to let these outside influences dictate my life,” Raza declared.
I stared at his beautiful face, at the lines of his wings rising proudly behind him. His golden eyes glowed with his passion, while his chest rose and fell steadily with conviction. He was ready to give me everything, all of himself and his kingdom. And more. I glanced at Tiernan and found him staring at us intently. Silver eyes flashed, and I looked back to Raza's golden gaze. Silver and gold. Seelie and Unseelie. With Twilight the green between. Perhaps we were fated to be.
“You're right,” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I love you. Forever. I accept your proposal, Raza. I'll marry you.”
Raza stood, pulling me up with him. He clutched me to his chest as he roared in delight. He lifted me above him, smiling up into my eyes, and then slid me down for a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back, luxuriating in our love. Now that I'd made my decision, it felt as if chains had fallen away from my heart. Laughter bubbled up my throat and vibrated against our lips. Raza smiled with me and drank down my happiness. When we finally eased away from each other, we had the attention of the entire hall.
“Princess Seren has just consented to be my wife!” Raza declared, and the room exploded in applause.
Everyone was smiling, shrieking with delight. Except for Tiernan, who stared soberly at me. I gave him a little smile and a nod. His face lit with understanding. Tiernan started to grin, then he lifted his glass to Raza, and took a long sip.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Congratulations,” Tiernan kissed my cheek. Then he whispered into my ear, “Does this mean what I hope it means?”
“Yes,” I held up a hand when he started to smile, “but I'm not rushing back into being with you. I need a little time to get comfortable with this. With all of us.”
“Lord Tiernan,” Raza's hand slid around my waist. “Come to wish us well?”
“Of course, Your Majesty,” Tiernan nodded his head respectfully. “May your marriage be blessed by Danu.”
“Danu has given her blessing on our marriage long ago,” Raza smirked. “As you well know.”
“This feels weird already,” I sighed.
Cat huffed her agreement.
“We'll take it slow, like you said,” Tiernan backed away. “I'm sure you'll want some time to adjust to married life before adding any distractions.”
“Yes, we will,” Raza growled.
“If we can't even have a conversation about this without coming right out and saying what we mean, this will never work,” I sighed and walked away, Cat beside me.
“Seren,” Raza followed, Tiernan close on his heels.
I kept walking.
“Son of a succubi!” Raza swore and swooped in front of me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into an empty room, ushering Tiernan in with us. “Fine, let's talk plainly, shall we?”
“Okay, good,” I agreed. “It's obvious that Tiernan has figured out that you'll allow me consorts.”
“So you've talked to him about Killian too?” Tiernan asked.
I froze. Raza's eyes widened.
“Or not,” Tiernan whispered. “My apologies. You said 'consorts', plural, so I thought he knew.”
“Killian as well?” Raza lifted a brow.
“I don't know,” I held up a hand. “I've just recently realized that I care about Killian.”
“You should have mentioned that when I proposed,” Raza growled.
“Well it wasn't your average proposal was it?” I snapped. “I didn't even get a ring.”
“You didn't get a ring?” Raza snarled. “What do you call that piece of jewelry which once belonged to my mother?” He pointed to the ring I wore on my right hand.
“Oh shit, right,” I closed my eyes and winced. “Sorry, I wasn't thinking.”
“No, you weren't,” Raza let out an angry stream of breath. “So, you've barely just agreed to be my wife, and now you're adding another consort to the one I already, grudgingly, approved?”
“Goddess damn it,” I glared at Tiernan and he winced.
“Amazingly enough, this is not Tiernan's fault, Seren,” Raza snapped. “Don't try to place the blame on him. You should have been clear with me. Honesty is paramount to the success
of our marriage. If I can't have your complete fidelity, at least give me the truth.”
Cat started to growl at Raza.
“Fine, you're right, I should have mentioned Killian,” I agreed. “The whole thing was surreal, and you were being so sweet, and then the Tiernan thing... I couldn't drop Killian on you too. Not when I'm not even sure about him.”
Raza cracked his neck and stretched his wings. Never a good sign.
Cat's fur went on end, her lips pulling back in a snarl.
“Easy now,” I laid a comforting hand on Cat. “This is just a conversation.”
“Killian would be good for her,” Tiernan said gently. “You know she needs someone human, at least part human. Without that, she'll fade, Raza. We'll lose her.”
“She can have him as a friend,” Raza transferred his glare to Tiernan. “She doesn't have to spread her legs for him.”
“Wow, this got ugly fast,” I shook my head in disbelief. “What happened to 'whatever brings you joy'? You couldn't even last one night. See? This is exactly what I didn't want. This,” I pointed back and forth between them. “I can't do this. We're going to destroy each other, and that is the opposite of what this sort of relationship should be about. If being together doesn't strengthen us, then Danu was wrong. I was wrong. Maybe all of this is just plain wrong.”
I started to walk out. Raza grabbed me by the arm and spun me around.
“No, Seren, you don't get to say it's forever, then just walk away,” Raza growled.
“She's good at that,” Tiernan sighed.
“Fuck you, Tiernan,” I hissed. Then I turned to Raza, “I wasn't walking away from you, I was walking away from all of this,” I waved my hand around to include the three of us. “You made the offer of consorts, not I.”
“Seren,” Tiernan shook his head. “You know you do it. Every time things get difficult, you bolt. You think that love shouldn't be hard, or something foolish like that. Of course, it's hard!” Tiernan got up into my face. “You want easy? Go be with someone you don't actually care about. Someone who will agree with everything you say and never challenge you. That will be easy. Real love is rough. It's fierce, like a wild animal. Strong enough to shield you from harm, but also savage enough to tear you apart. That's the beauty of it. It can be messy and complicated, but it can also be glorious and inspiring. The most sublime thing you'll ever experience. Isn't that worth a little conflict, Seren?”
I stared at Tiernan, then looked to Raza. Their chests heaved with their emotions, and I realized I was shaking too. Was Tiernan right? Could we become something sublime? Could we take this chaos and force it into order? Goddess, I hoped so, because I loved them both. Fiercely, like that wild animal Tiernan spoke of. But loving was the easy part, it was taming the beast which took work. Perhaps it was time to put in the effort.
I rushed forward and they both caught me. I just grabbed at them blindly, one arm around each man. Their faces came to rest beside mine, and I had a moment of blissful epiphany. I was the bridge between them. Pressed together like that, we formed a physical symbol of what we could become. For ourselves and for all of Fairy.
“Yes,” I whispered, “this is worth a little conflict.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
I thought it would be awkward or strange, but after I held them like that, it seemed so natural to turn my head and kiss Raza... and then Tiernan. Neither of them recoiled or resisted. They held me while I made that small declaration of my love and intent. For us, for this, and maybe for more.
But I wasn't ready for more than that small gesture. Things were building up between us, and I needed to take that climb slowly. So I kissed Tiernan goodnight, a sweet melding of lips and promises for more. A reunion for us really, but also the beginning of a stronger version of us. I sank into that kiss with him, into the joy of touching him once more without guilt or anger between us. And the most amazing part was, when I pulled away from him, I saw Raza standing there, hand outstretched, with a smile on his face. Waiting for me.
“Alright,” Raza kissed my forehead. “You can have your hunter, your dragon, and your lizard too.”
“You're okay with Killian?” I lifted my brows.
“I'm okay with the possibility of him,” Raza amended. “You can date him. Figure out if he will actually make you happy. If he will...”
“Fit into this arrangement?” I asked.
“Exactly,” Tiernan answered for Raza. “Adding a consort should be a joint decision, a matter for all of us. Raza and I should be able to say no if things with Killian look like they're going badly.”
“Or if it's endangering our relationships,” Raza added.
“Fair enough,” I said breathlessly.
Was this really happening?
We went back to the celebration together, me in a bit of a daze. Raza seemed happier than I'd seen him in ages. Tiernan must have been haunting him as much as he haunted me. The specter of lost love. Now we'd dealt with Tiernan. Not by exorcising him, but by bringing him back to life. Accepting him into the fold. The worst was over, conquered, and I suppose that brought a measure of peace with it.
Plus, there was the fact that I had agreed to marry Raza.
Marriage. I swayed in my seat as it hit me. Truly hit me. I was doing this. I was joining my life to Raza's. Forever. And that's quite a long commitment for a fairy. But then I looked at him, and instantly calmed. This man was willing to conquer his very nature for me, the least I could do was conquer my silly issues about commitment.
“You will make a wonderful queen,” Raza took my hand and kissed it tenderly.
Queen. Right. I looked out over the unseelie, and had more mixed feelings surge up in my chest. I had grown to love these fairies. Their beauty wasn't as glaringly obvious as the seelie, but once you saw it, it was impossible to ignore. Still, I was Princess of Twilight, and those fairies were family to me. How could I leave my kingdom to rule this one? My father was king, sure. He would care for Twilight in my absence. He'd done so for its entire existence. But I still felt slightly traitorous.
“It will all work out,” Raza said gently, as if he could hear my thoughts.
“I think it will,” I said, surprising the both of us. “There's no way it can't, not after all we've gone through to get here. This has to work.”
That's when Killian walked in.
He had a herd of extinguishers with him, and behind them were unseelie fey, the Craos-Teine staff, who were helping to bring in several wooden crates.
Killian strode forward, spread his hands out, and proclaimed, “I have returned!”
“Yes, we can see that,” Raza drawled. “I assume those are the thermal scopes.”
“Yes,” Killian smirked, “and a few iron arrows.”
The assemblage made happy murmurs.
“How many is a few?” Raza stood.
“Just around a hundred, but my guy is making more even as we speak. I can twilight back in the morning and grab them as he completes them,” Killian offered.
Raza shot a look my way, “Perhaps he does have his uses.”
“Raza,” I shook my head.
“Well done, Lord Killian,” Raza declared. Then he spoke to the gathering as a whole, “We have weapons and the means to spy the elves. We shall triumph!”
The hall cheered.
“My thanks to you, Lord Killian, and to all of you men who have helped to bring us these valuable supplies,” Raza nodded to the extinguishers. “Please come in and join us.” He motioned to the castle staff, “food and lodgings for our guests.”
The servants rushed to do their king's bidding.
“You've arrived just in time to join our celebration feast,” Raza added.
“Celebration, eh?” Killian sauntered up to the high table. “What are we celebrating? Besides my triumphant return, that is.”
“A group of seelie have come to offer their swords to our cause,” Raza nodded to the seelie, seated just to the left of the high table. “And Princess Seren has a
greed to become my wife.”
Killian's face fell. His gaze shot straight to mine, and I tried to convey that it was a good thing, but he didn't get it. His jaw hardened, his shoulders stiffened, and he nodded crisply.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty,” he nodded to Raza, then to me, “Your Highness.” He turned and went back to the extinguishers who had arrived with him, “See to these, will you? I forgot there was something else I needed to handle.”
Then he began to walk out.
“Damn it, Raza,” I growled. “You want me to run after him, or are you going to call him back?”
“Lord Killian!” Raza shouted, keeping his eyes on me. “Join us at the high table, if you please.”
Killian froze, and then turned around slowly, to glare at us. His jaw clenched as he stalked back up the hall, and then woodenly took the dais stairs two at a time. His boots echoed on the wood, conveying his anger through their booms. Raza indicated a seat beside his, and Killian sat in it heavily. The entire hall was watching us with wary expressions, but as soon as Raza looked out towards the room, the gathering went back to their meal with forced gaiety.
“Killian,” I started.
“It's okay, Seren,” Killian was taking deep breaths. “I get it.”
“No, you don't,” Raza poured Killian a glass of wine and slid it over to him. “Drink up, Lord Killian. You have cause to celebrate as well.”
Killian's head swung around to face me and Raza.
“I spoke to him,” I said.
Killian's jaw dropped.
“We have come to an agreement,” Raza added. “Just before you arrived, actually. You're timing is impeccable.”
“An agreement?” Killian asked. His slit pupils enlarged until they looked nearly normal.
