by Lilly James
I shot a look over my shoulder and saw Joanna coming towards me. “You touch me and I will take that bun right off your head.”
Someone coughed from behind me, and Parks looked over the men in his company. “Sorry about this, gentlemen. Please excuse me one moment.”
“No, you know what, stay where you are.” I took a step back, holding my hands up defensively. “Stay in your precious meeting, apologise for your crazy girlfriend, then carry on acting like I don’t exist.”
Parks stared into my eyes. His body language was still furious, but those emeralds I’d fallen in love with softened as they held my gaze. But I was past caring at that point. Turning on my heel, I pushed Joanna aside and made my way out into the reception area.
“Give them refreshments.” I heard his muffled voice, then the sound of the doors closing.
“Princess,” Parks breathed out, halting me midstep.
“Don’t ‘Princess’ me.” I spun around and shoved his hard chest. “An appointment?” My voice was bewildered. “I had to have an appointment to see you?” His gaze fell to the floor, and he closed his eyes briefly. “I am not a fucking client, Parks. I am not a part of your precious work life. I am your personal life.”
He rubbed at his jaw with a hand. “My personal life is something I don’t want to focus on right now.”
My heart jerked in utter confusion. “What?”
He threw his hands in the air, then thumped them back against his thighs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean you, Evelyn.”
I swallowed down a lump, my fiery anger evaporating and getting replaced with feelings of neglect, abandonment, and anxiety. All things I felt when Parks wasn’t near anymore. “Then what did you mean?”
“I mean…” Words that included feelings were never his forte.
“You can go in there and present a meeting to a load of billionaires, but you can’t tell your girlfriend how you’re feeling?” My voice was cracking, showing that I was at my breaking point, that I’d had enough of being messed about. Yet I couldn’t walk away.
Parks closed his eyes again, indicating he had something to say, but for some reason, he just couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Evelyn.” My name was a small gasp from his lips. His green, beautiful eyes stared into my soul and held me captive like they always did. “I have to get back.”
I sagged at how I was—once again—coming in second best to his work, and his father’s statement rushed around in my head. His work is his life. You will never be.
Parks turned his back on me, but I wasn’t done. “You have us sitting in reverse, Wade, when the only direction I want to go is forwards.”
His shoulders tensed. “You think I don’t want to go forward, Evelyn?” He turned but remained a couple steps away from me. “I am planning for the future every second of every day that I’m not with you, but I have to do it alone.”
“You’re not in this alone. But you’re making me feel like I am. Am I not worth fighting for? You once told me not to worry about our end, because there would never be one for us. Was that a lie? Is this the end? Are you done fighting for me—for us—now?”
He looked at me, then suddenly gave me what I needed—him. What I craved since being in his presence, and that was him. He stepped so close to me that I inhaled his scent, and I touched his arms as they came down onto my shoulders before bringing me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around him, clawing at his shirt as I held him to me, never wanting to let go. He gripped my hair as he held me, my cheek pressed against his chest.
“I will fight to my death for you, Princess.” He tried to push me away, but I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to stay in his arms. Stay in my safe place. He won, though, and prised me away from him, then cupped my cheeks. “But right now, I’m fighting myself.” He gave me a quick kiss on my forehead and let me go.
I knew he was hiding his problems. I could see it in his eyes. It was like he was looking right through me. I ached for him to look at me with eyes that told me they loved me, for that smile and the laughter I got from him when we were lying under the sun on his mother’s tennis court. I turned my head away. As well as feeling like I’d lost my best friend, I felt agonizingly sorry for the man who was standing in a multimillion-pound building, full of hundreds of assistants and employees at his beck and call, but he was still completely isolated.
He walked away and left me feeling crushed. I remained motionless, still staring at the door he’d closed on me. I was only aware of my phone ringing when it vibrated in my pocket, and it drew me from my immobile state.
I reached into my pocket, took out my phone, and glanced at the screen. “Shit.” I sagged, seeing Tabby’s name and remembering our “girly date.”
I hit the Answer button and headed for the lift. “Tabby, I’m on my way.”
I hung up, wishing I could cancel and reschedule, but when that other day came, I knew I still wouldn’t want to go touring London. Not that London wasn’t a great city—because it was—but the amount of people in the streets, the cars, the taxis, and the buses, and the busyness was something I could have done without today. Nevertheless, I was sure as hell going to try and take my mind off things while touring the city. If that didn’t, I’m sure Tabby and her babbling would.
I made my way out of the building, walking like I had a damn grey cloud above my head, and took a taxi to Westminster to meet Tabby.
Our first destination was the London Eye, but I had a text from Tabby telling me she was going to be late. I went ahead and purchased Fast Track tickets anyway and waited in line. Ten minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over, and standing behind me was a pretty lady with long, dark brown hair and wearing huge sunglasses. I didn’t recognize her, so I was about to turn back, but she started laughing.
“Evey, it’s me. Tabby.”
I frowned, confused as I looked her over. The dark-haired woman pulled off her sunglasses, and I gasped in shock.
“Oh my God. I didn’t recognise you. You’ve dyed your hair?”
“Yeah.” She smiled, gently playing with the tips of her strands. “I did it earlier on. I fancied a change.”
“It’s a drastic change,” I admitted, studying her. Her almost-white-blonde hair was now darker than mine. It made her look completely different. The dark colour brought out her beautiful, piercing blue eyes, though. I couldn’t stop staring.
“Do you like it?” She beamed, flicking tresses over her shoulder.
“Yeah. It’s different,” I offered as I touched it.
Tabby joined the queue with me, and soon one of the Eye workers beckoned us into the cart. We took a seat on the wooden bench in the middle of the large, oval, glass cart and waited for everyone else to join. Tabby looked through the window as we started lifting over the River Thames and beckoned me over. I loved getting ready for when the cart hit the top and all of London would come into view.
Tabby continued to stare out at the view, but I sensed her lack of concentration. I wasn’t going to question her, though. My mind was miles away too as I stared down at the river, the conversation with Parks racing round my brain.
Tabby was shifting on the bench, and it gained my attention because I knew she was getting ready to ask me a question. “So,” she said, pressing the computer screen in front of her, which gave her information about the sights we were seeing, “are you and Wade back together?”
I sighed and walked to the left of the cart, my gaze hitting Westminster Abbey in the distance. “No. I lied.” I glanced behind me as I heard her get up and walk to me. She flapped her hand, her gaze leaving mine as she also looked toward the abbey.
“What really happened?” She was incredibly nosey about Parks. I was rude, but not rude enough to tell Tabby to mind her own damn business. Only because I felt sorry for her.
“Family issues.” I said it quick and dismissive, but she didn’t get the hint. Instead, she pointed and said, “Ah. I told you his family was strange.”
I lo
oked at her again. “They’re not strange, just…” I scrambled for a word and waved my hand around. “Private.”
Tabby pushed her sunglasses over her face and rested them on her head, her brow raised. “Did you manage to get any more info on his father?”
Why the hell was she so inquisitive? “Yeah, he’s not the man I imagined him to be.”
Eventually we got to the peak height of the wheel and could see everything around us. Tabby quickly began to riffle through her bag. “Shit.”
“What?” I asked, looking over the city below and listening to the people around us admiring the view. London was a gorgeous city, I couldn’t deny that.
“I’ve left my cell phone at home. Could we take pictures on yours?”
“Cell phone?” I laughed at her phrase. “You’re British, Tabby, why would you say cell phone?” It was weird. I wasn’t entirely sure why, but it was.
Casually she shrugged and flipped her long hair over her shoulder. “You know me. Crazy.” She giggled. “Now let’s have a picture.”
Without my consent, she took my phone out of my hands and held it up in front us, then took a couple of shots.
“Next stop is the London Dungeon,” she squealed, passing me back my phone and pointing to the dungeon to our left as the cart started to descend.
“Really, Tabby? You’re like a tourist.”
“Okay, what about the Thames River cruise?” She pointed at a boat that was sailing below us.
“Na.”
“Buckingham Palace?” she suggested.
I decided to choose an alternative before she reeled off the whole brochure of London. “Convent Gardens? I’m starving.”
“Cool,” she agreed with a smile.
Deciding against battling to get through the Underground, we took a taxi to Convent Gardens. The amount of money I spent on taxis was depressing. When we climbed out of the cab, Tabby linked arms with me, and smirked at me when I frowned at her in discomfort.
“What?” She giggled. “Don’t tell me you don’t do the linking-arms thing.”
“No.” I tried to wriggle out of her grip, but she found it highly amusing and held on tighter. I gave up. “You know you can be quite annoying.” I laughed. “You are the reason I thank God I never had a little sister.”
Tabby laughed and was slowly learning that what I said was in jest. Just in a hurtful kind of tone.
“Here we are,” I told her on a smile and took in my surroundings. The quirky and unique vibes of Convent Garden made me feel happy and free. It made me think of old London with its cobbled roads, and the smells of delicious foods that burst around us were to die for.
Tabby squealed as we walked into the vast open area of Convent Garden where most of the street performers were. She spotted a juggler with a sign beside him that said, ‘Man with big balls’ and found it highly amusing.
After having a lengthy browse around Kurt Geiger and Jo Malone, I bought some cookies for me and some for Steph from Ben’s Cookies. God, they were so good, and I knew she loved them too. I planned to take mine home, but I ate the whole six of them as we walked around. Tabby gave me a look that told me I was greedy. I shrugged, not believing my own sudden hunger.
I took her into Hope & Greenwood, a retro-style sweet shop. Like a kid, I filled my pink-and-white-striped bag with sweets and told Tabby to try some as she hadn’t clue what most of them tasted like.
“Where the hell have you been?” I laughed before throwing a flying saucer into my mouth, then a rosy apple, prompting that “greedy” look from Tabby again.
Our feet were killing us after hours of browsing, so we made a pit stop at a pizza place. I placed my bag onto the back of the chair and sagged. Tabby did the same, and the huff that came from her mouth blew up a stray strand of hair.
“I could do with a glass of wine.”
I couldn’t help glance up at her a little uneasily, but I wasn’t going to stop her. “Go ahead. I’m having a water, anyway.” But I suddenly had the taste for something else. “Actually—” I called the waiter back after we’d ordered pizza, “—do you happen to have watermelon juice?” I hated it, but I was craving the taste again. Maybe it was because I craved to taste it from Parks’s lips and I wasn’t getting my fill of him. The thought put a downer on my mood instantly, so the sane part of my brain chased it away.
“We don’t, I’m afraid,” the waiter said regretfully before turning on his heel and flicking his long, blue fringe out of his face.
Soon he returned with our food and placed it in front of us. I ate mine quicker than I normally would have. Jesus. I was starving.
“You packed that away, Evey.” Tabby laughed, still taking small bites of her pizza slice like a bloody mouse. I glanced at my phone to check for any texts quickly, then left it on the table as I pushed from the chair.
“I’ll be right back. I really need a wee,” I told Tabby and almost ran to the toilets. My bladder felt overloaded and I’d only had two waters.
Making my way back to the table, I was quite startled to see Tabby with my phone in her hand. I was wearing a frown as I made my way towards her, and when she saw me, she almost jumped out of her skin.
“Sorry.” She held it out to me. “I have no credit on my phone and just wanted to send a text. I should have asked.”
Taking the phone from her hand, I felt a little pissed off. She shouldn’t have used it without asking, but was it that much of a big deal? “I thought you didn’t have your phone with you?”
Her eyes widened. “That’s what I meant,” she stuttered.
I got seated and shoved my phone back into my bag. “Next time just ask.” I smiled to try and ease the tension that had suddenly built between us.
She ate the rest of her pizza without really saying much else, until I looked past her head and out the windows to watch the bustle of people walking by. Really I was looking for anyone that looked like they worked for Parks. I hated the thought of being watched.
“Who is it?” Tabby turned her head, peering out of the window quickly, then looked back to me. She seemed jumpy.
I shook my head. “No one.” The arch of her brow urged me to cut the bullshit. “I’m just a bit paranoid, that’s all. I think every time I see a mean-looking guy, it’s a man Parks has sent to follow me.”
Tabby started twitching, shifting in her seat and looking restless. It was actually annoying me, and what I really wanted to do was tell her to stop it, but I asked if she was all right instead. “Something up?” I grabbed her empty plate and put it on mine, then threw the napkins on top just for something to do.
“Can we go?” Tabby rushed to her feet, looking around irritably. “The restaurant’s filling up, and I don’t like too many people around me.” Her nervous laugh and behaviour bewildered me.
“Uh. Sure.” The first thing that came to my head when I pushed to my feet was, How does she cope in Starbucks? That place is always full and boisterous. I gathered our belongings, even taking hold of Tabby’s bag. She was so eager to get out of the restaurant, she’d forgot to take her things.
“Tabby, wait for me.” I pushed my way through the crowds of people in the restaurant, trying to keep up with the rapid pace of Tabby’s feet.
“I just need to get home, Evey. I have these anxiety attacks. Like someone’s coming to get me. Ya know? I think someone is after me.” She glanced over her shoulder, then quickly looked forwards and put her head down. “See that man in the green coat?” I went to look over my shoulder to see who she was talking about, but she grabbed my arm. “Don’t look. He will know we’re on to him.”
What the hell? She wasn’t making any sense.
I gave off another uneasy laugh, trying to play down her disorganised sentences and shifty behaviour. She was obviously joking. Right? “Tabby, no one is coming to get you.”
She quickly flagged down a cab and yanked open the door before he’d even come to a complete stop. I jumped in next to her, eyeballing her curiously.
She in
formed the driver of her address, then looked straight at me. “Will you stay at my place tonight? I don’t want to be alone. I like it, but I don’t want to be alone.”
“Tabby,” I said, my tone concerned. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Good. Just say you will stay.”
“I don’t know.” She clearly knew I was about to object, so she took hold of my hand in a desperate plea.
“Please, please stay with me. I really, really don’t want to be alone.”
I gently lifted my hand away from hers. “Tabby, I have nothing on me. No clothes. Nothing.”
“I have stuff.” She teared up as she begged. “Please?”
I looked into her pleading blue eyes and saw a desperate, lonely young woman. The way she could make me feel sorry for her blew my mind, but maybe she had a past that wasn’t so different from mine. I knew I was a heartless, cold bitch, but something inside me was suddenly starting to thaw.
“Okay,” I gave in on a sigh, then made a joke out of it. “But no funny business.” My intention of staying with Tabby was to make sure I got to know her more. Got to know her past and who she actually was. I was quite worried about her sudden change in behaviour, and to be honest, it was also so I didn’t have to go back to Steph’s flat and listen to her and Mathew’s baby talk, and drown my sorrows listening to depressing music.
Chapter Seven
I slammed the front door of Tabby’s flat, which drowned out the music her neighbour was blasting from across the way. Jeez. Talk about rough.
“Shall I put my music on?” she questioned herself as I let my bag fall from my shoulder and took a seat on the sofa. “I’ll put some music on,” she answered herself and pressed Play on her CD player. It took me a second or two to figure out what song it was, then I realized it was Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know.”
“I’ll be right back,” she told me as she headed to her bedroom and disappeared behind the door. I waited patiently in Tabby’s shabby living room. It was warm, at least. But the bare walls that had paint chipping from them made me feel sorrowful and cold inside. It was like she had nothing and no one, making me even more determined to uncover the reason she was so alone.
