by Lilly James
I clench my eyes shut and ball my fist in rage as his words fade. The next part of what he’d told had me storming out of the private room and running straight to Evelyn’s side. It wasn’t just the news that killed me inside. It kills me because I don’t know how I am going to tell Evelyn.
As I sit, I have too much time to think. Too much time to imagine the way Tabitha had pushed her down those stairs. Punched and kicked her stomach knowing exactly what she could have done. I rub my eyes, remembering the bitch’s voice when she called me from Evelyn’s cell. She told me Evelyn was already dead. That she’d committed suicide and it was my fault. For a brief moment I thought it was true, until my thoughts cleared. I knew Evelyn would never do anything to harm our baby or herself. She was born within a family that lacked the ability to love. She’d lost so much throughout her life, but I knew she was a fighter. Not a quitter. I thanked God in high heaven that we’d tracked her cell phone and found her when we did. Seeing her lifeless, sprawled at the end of the metal staircase took everything away from me. Hope. Breath. Life. All because of the twisted bitch standing at the top of the staircase smirking down on me. If the cops hadn’t got to her first, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind I would have committed murder.
“Wake up, baby,” I whisper in Evelyn’s ear. “Please come back to me.” Even though I hope she’ll wake if she hears my voice, I die even more inside every time I try it and she remains still. I try one more time, needing and yearning for her to gaze at me. To talk to me. “Princess.” I kiss her temple, still squeezing her hand.
Then…she squeezes back.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Evey
I was lying on my back, trying to open my eyes, but I all I could manage was to squeeze Parks’s hand. I knew it was his because it had never left mine as I drifted in and out. He never left my side. I’d heard him telling me how much he loved me. How he’d told me that every time he closed his eyes he would think of our happy times. Our laughter. Our banter. Our arguments. Yes, he cherished those because everything we had ever done together, major or minor was something to adore. He also told me how much he was beating himself up. I heard it all. With everything I had, I tried to get my mouth to move, to tell him none of this was his fault. I tried to get my body and bones to function, but they wouldn’t listen to me. The only things I ever felt when I was briefly awake was a slight pain in my stomach and head, but then I’d hear the nurse come in and presumably top up my pain relief. That would knock me out yet again.
Parks gasped from beside me when I squeezed back. A chair scraped across the floor, and I felt him hover over me.
“Princess?” His voice was urgent, panicking, and full of emotion. I fluttered my lids open, then shut them quickly again because of the light hitting me after what seemed an age. I heard his voice again, and I had to try to open my eyes because the overwhelming desire to see his face was running through my veins. I squinted as I tried to adjust to the light again.
“Take your time, baby.” Even though he was demanding me to take it easy, the drive to look into his eyes again powered my impatience. I opened them wide, turned my head to the side, and there he was. Tired, his jaw sporting scuff, his green eyes red and teary, but still my beautiful Wade.
“Parks?” I croaked.
He dipped his head on a laugh. “That’s the only time I’m allowing you to call me that.” He brought his soft hands onto my cheeks as he gently pressed a kiss to my lips. I tried to move my hands, but he didn’t allow it.
“Don’t move, Princess. Let me call the nurse.”
“No,” I croaked again, wincing as the pain started to settle in again. “Is the baby okay?” I felt myself frowning as Parks pursed his lips and closed his eyes tight. Pain speared though him as he did. I could tell.
Parks kissed my knuckles and drew in a deep breath. “I thought you were dead, Princess. Now you’re back, and I’m alive again.”
A tear rolled down his face, and it made me swallow a couple of times. My throat felt odd. Like it was learning to swallow again. “I thought I lost you too.”
“Never,” he promised.
I swallowed again. “Wade? The baby?”
He kissed my knuckles again but lingered that time. “We’ve lost…fuck.” His words caught in his throat, and he couldn’t bring himself to look me in the eyes.
“Wade?” I questioned as my eyes welled up with stinging tears. I watched a man that was controlled, dominating, and strong fall apart right in front of my eyes as he broke down, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed.
Parks tried to compose himself and wiped the tears from his eyes with his thumbs. He took my hand and squeezed hard. “Princess, the baby…” he croaked. “Our baby.”
“What?” I was still confused and felt my eyes narrow, my heart suddenly beat faster than ever. All he could was shake his head, telling me no.
“No? Don’t be silly.” I flapped away what I thought he was about to say. “Look.” I glanced down at the small bump that was my stomach. “It’s still there. I can feel—”
Parks bowed down his head again. “No, Princess. It’s not.”
My eyes filled up as he looked at me with an expression of a man that was torn apart.
“No baby?” I managed over a swollen throat. Parks shook his head in deep sorrow, and I immediately broke down. “No. No. No.”
Parks took my shaking body into his arms and cradled me to him. I was sobbing so hard I was finding it hard to breathe. “Tell them to check again,” I cried as Parks tried calm me, holding me down in case I pulled out any of the tubes. The emotions that pierced my heart and mind were ones I had never experienced before. They came out with floods of tears and yelps of helplessness. My cries summoned a doctor, and he tried to calm me down too.
“Evelyn, I know you must be confused, but let me just—”
“No,” I screamed, pushing the doctor away from me. “Fix this. Bring our baby back,” I cried. “I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want it. Please. You must know that.” I clawed at Parks’s arm as I tried to explain. “The day I told you, I left because I didn’t want a row. I didn’t leave you, Wade.”
“Princess, I know you didn’t.”
“And I didn’t mean it when said I didn’t want our baby. I didn’t mean it when I said we couldn’t be parents. Please believe me.” I was begging and sobbing all at once.
Parks held me tight, kissing my forehead. “Baby, I know you didn’t mean any of that. What matters is you’re okay.”
“But the baby’s not. Tell them to bring our baby back. Please.”
“Evelyn, Princess, there was nothing they could do. I begged them to do everything they could—”
I pushed Parks that time, thumping my fist into his chest. “No. She did this! She killed our baby, Wade.” My heartwrenching sobs had the doctor walking out of the room to leave Parks to try and console me. Tabby had kicked and punched me continuously, and I wasn’t strong enough to protect my own baby. She threw me down the stairs. She did it on purpose to make sure we knew how it felt to lose a child. Well, consider her sick wish granted.
When I had calmed down considerably, the doctor came back into the room and introduced himself properly. I noted he was tall, slim, and had black hair and kind, brown eyes. “Evelyn, I am Dr. Khan, and I just want to go over a couple of things with you now that you are awake, and calm. Is that all right?”
I squeezed Parks’s hand. Parks was watching me, silently asking if I was okay to talk. I nodded, but Parks shook his head, unsure. “Can you let her rest for, God’s sake? She doesn’t need any more upset. Can’t you see that?”
“What else can possibly make me feel any worse than I already do?” I sniffed, bringing Parks’s hand up to my lips. “Go ahead.” I gave permission, and Parks squeezed my hand again, keeping his gaze on me.
“The first thing I need to tell you, Evelyn, is that you suffered a miscarriage in your second trimester.”
“Because of her,” I yelled. Parks kisse
d my temple again and calmed me down.
The doctor glanced at the floor, then back towards me. “Tests have shown it was due to cervical inefficiency.”
I blinked, utterly confused and glanced over at Parks. “What does that mean?” Parks shook his head again, annoyed at the doctor, then kissed my temple before the doctor continued.
“Evelyn, a miscarriage in late pregnancy could be assigned to an incompetent cervix. You see, when the pregnancy begins, the cervix will soften and is supposed to shut in order to keep the baby firmly in the uterus.” The doctor clasped his hands in front of him. “To explain an incompetent cervix, it means the cervix will begin to dilate within the second trimester. When the dilation is undetected, the baby can pass through the cervix and will result in the miscarriage of the fetus.” He placed his fingers into a steeple position. “Did you find yourself spotting or bleeding during your pregnancy? If so, that may have been signs.”
I found myself staring at him, eyes wide in confusion as my mind tried to catch up. Yes, I was bleeding. Heavily. But I thought it was my period. “No, I took a test. I was pregnant.”
“Yes,” the doctor agreed. “You were, but–”
“She did this.” I cut him off. My voice was low, and I glanced back and forth between the two men, who were looking at me with sympathy and worry etched upon their faces. “She punched me, threw me down the stairs.”
The doctor shook his head gently. “The tumble you took down the stairs caused a minor head injury and concussion—”
“So it’s my fault?” I swallowed hard and closed my eyes to try and ease the pain that was filling my chest. I was responsible. Me and my fucked-up body. “Is it because I used to take drugs? Drink a lot?” Overwhelming guilt swept over me like a tidal wave.
“Princess.” Parks took my cheek in his hand gently, making me look at him. “It’s not your fault. It happens, and there is nothing you, me, or Dr. Khan could have done to stop it.”
I couldn’t look at the way Parks was staring at me—like I was his angel. Almost like I was so precious to him that I was faultless and innocent. But could I be?
Glancing down at the blanket around me, I solemnly asked, “How far gone was I?”
Parks cleared his throat, trying to sweep emotion aside. “Twelve weeks.”
The doctor went on, “You have lost a lot of blood, Evelyn, and we’re just monitoring you until the last of it has come away. But it seems to have come away naturally. I am extremely sorry.”
“The last of my baby has come away, you mean?” I yelled, unreasonably taking it out on the doctor. “Where is that bitch?” I tried to get up from the bed as my anger boiled over. Parks gently pushed me back down.
“She’s in custody, Evelyn. But there’s no doubt they will just send her back to the fucking loony bin because she’s a crazy motherfucker, instead of punishing her for what she’s done to us.” He fisted his hands. “It’s all my fucking fault. If I never sent her away in the first place, there would be no need for her to seek revenge. But if I’d known—”
“You couldn’t have known,” I blubbered. “I’m the one who got close to her. I should have worked it all out.” How could I have been so stupid?
“Evelyn.” Parks took hold of my cheeks again. “For as long as I live, I will make sure nothing and no one will ever harm you again. Understand? That is a promise. Tabby will pay for this.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“I am not going in that wheelchair, I can walk!” I glanced across to the nurse, who was passing it to Parks. “Please, go and give it to someone who really needs it.”
“Evelyn.” Parks gritted his teeth and grasped the handles. “Do as you’re told for once.”
I rolled my eyes towards Jasmine, who was shaking her head. “Evey, you won’t win an argument with my brother.”
“I agree.” Harriet smiled. It was a smile that I hadn’t seen from her for quite a few days. All I was used to her doing was sobbing her heart out. Blaming herself for what her secret child had done. Then blaming herself for not bringing up Tabby, or Tabitha, like she should have. I’d learned that Tabby was a schizophrenic. She showed signs of it with her medication and disorganized sentences sometimes, but I never realized. She had actually escaped the hospital she lived in to seek revenge. It was just bad luck and damn right ill fate that she came across me at the right time for her, and the wrong time for me.
I consoled Harriet, told her it wasn’t her fault. Although she should have brought her child up instead of throwing her aside. I learned that Wade was the one who made the final decision to get rid of Tabby, but he couldn’t apologize enough. He’d once told me that when he had just cracked America, he thought he was God and did things he wasn’t proud of. Shunning Tabby was one of those things; he just failed to mention it. But that didn’t matter now. She didn’t matter. She would have her comeuppance for what she did to me. I would make sure of it.
“Evey, get in the damn thing or I will,” Steph scolded, trying not to rub her oversized stomach in front of me, but it was habit. She told me she didn’t come and see me when I woke up because she was grief-stricken. Grieving that she was still going through her pregnancy and I wasn’t. I told her there was absolutely no way she should be hiding from me or feeling guilty. I wanted her to enjoy her last months of pregnancy without looking at me and feeling like she had no right to be happy. She did.
Although she could enjoy hers, it felt like I hated mine before I even had chance to enjoy it. I never got that chance to stroke my bump fondly. I never got the chance to guess whether I would be going out to buy pink or blue. All I got the chance to do was deny it. I couldn’t sleep most nights because of the painful guilt I felt inside. What if my baby knew I didn’t want it? But that was just an initial reaction. After I thought about it, I knew a baby would have been even more of a blessing to mine and Wade’s family. I guess I’ll never know what that may feel like now I know my chances of having kids are low because I somehow have the incapability of carrying one because of the way my uterus is. I felt empty inside knowing I possibly couldn’t carry a life.
I glanced around, seeing all the faces that cared for me, waiting to go into the wheelchair. Wade, Cheryl, Steph, Harriet, Jasmine. Even Alex stopped by, to Parks’s displeasure. The faces I didn’t see, not once, were my parents. Cheryl had called them, informed them of what happened. My father told her that he didn’t have enough money to come and see me on the bus, and my mother told Cheryl I was better off without a child because I would have been a shit mother anyway. I’m glad they didn’t come because I wiped them from my life a long time ago.
“I’m not getting in.” I crossed my arms, knowing full well I could walk. I may have been a little sore, but I could walk.
“You stubborn woman, I’ll carry you instead, then.” Parks came to my bedside, causing everyone to go into fits of laughter when I swotted him away.
“You can’t carry me.” I was trying to be serious, but he picked me up anyway.
“I’ve told you before, baby, you do as you’re told.”
“I wouldn’t have you any other way.” I smiled and rubbed my nose along his. “Thank you for being my overbearing, arrogant arsehole I first fell in love with.”
“You’re very welcome.” He winked. “Now let’s go home.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Five Years Later…
Wade
The sun beams in through the open doors on our beach hut, and the gentle breeze that flows into the bedroom is welcome in the Bora Bora heat as I lay beside my beautiful wife. Her sexy, curvy body is wrapped around messy, white sheets. Because she’s pregnant, she prefers to sleep like a starfish, and it makes me smile. I smile wider when I see her bump, big and proud, as the sheets slip from it. She moaned that her tits had gotten too big this time around, but hell if I was complaining.
Since the day she said “I do,” I don’t think I’ve ever had a shitty day. I knew there was nothing in this world that would have kept me away f
rom her. Not my past. Not me. Not secrets. Nothing.
Now that our pasts were safely in the past, there were no more dark shadows waiting for a chance to destroy us. My wife and I are inseparable. Indestructible. Nothing is ever going to stand in our way. Our bond is tight, strong, and only shows signs of getting stronger. We are each other’s enemies but also each other’s lifelines. She saved me from a life of mental torture, and I saved her from a life of loneliness. I was afraid of drowning in her at the start, but the moment my heart told me it was the right thing to do, I dived in head-first.
I study the work of art beside me, then she turns, opening her eyes, and I fall victim to those captivating ambers of hers. Just like I did all those years ago when she presented herself to me in my office with that sassy attitude I fell in love with.
“You watching me sleep again, Wade?” She smirks, knowing me too well by now. I always watch her sleep.
I nod, bite the side of my lip, and hum in appreciation. Fuck, my wife is beautiful. “I was waiting for my moment.”
“Your moment?” she asks softly, her lazy morning voice sending a shooting pain straight to my hard dick.
“Hmm,” I murmur, kissing down her neck. “The moment to set myself right between these sexy legs of yours.” I climb on top of her, being careful of her belly, and kiss her neck, then move my lips onto hers. The way she moans softly and bites my ear like I love has me even more determined to slide my cock between her legs.
“And what do you plan on doing when you get between them?” she purrs.
I kiss her lips, drive my tongue in and around her mouth, then pull back to let her know exactly what I plan on doing. “Well, if you haven’t noticed, my dick is hard and seeking your—”
“Mum, Dad?”
I jump off Evelyn so quick when I hear that small voice that I lose my balance and tumble from the bed onto the floor. Evelyn starts laughing, and Ruby, our three-year-old, dark-haired bundle of craziness that I adore more than life itself jumps onto our bed.
