by Diane Allen
‘I won’t, I promise. I’ve realized I was a fool,’ Meg said humbly.
‘Aye, well, we’ll see. The lad’s dead now. He won’t be coming back, and you seem to have settled down this morning. But I’ll be keeping a close eye on you, lady, don’t you think I won’t. But we’ve both got secrets, and perhaps they are best kept between ourselves for the time being. We’ll see how I feel when your parents turn up.’ Harry gave her a knowing look before he went into the back room.
Meg sighed. Thank heavens for the rain, as it had bought her more time to recover from her loss before confronting her parents. And with a bit of luck, Harry might not say anything to them, if he realized how much he needed her company.
Jack was scanning the local newspaper for advertisements announcing farms to let or sell.
‘I don’t know what you are looking at those for, as you are no farmer. Haven’t I had enough heartache with losing Sam, without you going and leaving me?’ Betty Alderson sobbed. The family home was not the usual pristine place, with washing-up now in the stone sink and clothes unironed, because of her grief.
‘It’s because we have lost Sam that I’m looking. You know my head was set on going to America, but now I’ll have to stop in this country. You need me to look after you.’ Jack scowled as he read the listings. ‘If you think I’m going to go back and work at that mine after losing my brother there, you can think again. I can’t face it. But I’ve still got to be able to support us both.’
‘You know nowt about farming, apart from when you went to stay with your grandfather, and that was years ago. You needn’t think I’m trailing to the other end of the country, leaving my boy not cold in his grave, and you with fanciful ideas in your head,’ Betty moaned at her son.
‘I’m not going the length of the country. In fact, I’ll not be going more than five miles, if I get my way. Look, this would suit us both just right. It’s on the outskirts of Muker, a big enough house and barns and twenty acres of land – that would keep you and me fed; it’d be ideal, especially if I could get a little bit of work as well.’ Jack folded the newspaper and placed it under his mother’s nose, pointing to an advert declaring that The Rash farm was up for tenancy. It was ideal, being only two miles away from Gunnerside.
‘You can’t afford that! Where are you going to get money like that from?’ Betty stared at the figure of two guineas’ rent and put the paper down, scoffing at her son’s hare-brained idea.
‘I’ve been saving up. I was going to lend it to Sam, when he was thinking of eloping with Meg, but he’ll not be needing it now. So it’s time to give us two a bit of security and perhaps find a woman of my own, settle down and stop feeling like an outcast.’ Jack looked at his mother. He knew the news of Sam having intended to leave the family home would shock her, but it was time she realized that he had not been the golden boy she’d thought.
‘Sam was to leave with that flibbertigibbet from the shop! Don’t be daft – he hardly knew her. And as for you having that sort of money, well, I just can’t believe it. I don’t know, these last few days have been like a living hell, and now you tell me this. It’s as if I never knew my two sons, let alone loved them. I don’t know what your father would say about it all, if he was still alive, I really don’t,’ Betty cried and shook her head.
‘Well, I’ll go and have a look around The Rash and, if I like it and think we can make a living there, we’ll be moving. At least I won’t have to put up with the gossips and dirty looks if we are out there on our own.’ Jack stood his ground.
‘Aye, and how am I to go about my business? Stuck up on a hillside, with no one for company,’ Betty retorted.
‘You’ll be alright. I’ll go in the morning and have a look around it, come rain or shine. The sooner we are away from this village, the better,’ Jack said sharply.
Betty said nothing in reply. She knew his head was set on a new life, but she liked her little cottage by the side of the gill and the company of other mining families around her.
Jack stood back and looked at the long, low farmhouse and its stone-walled garden. It was set back on the hillside, with a twisting track up to it that his mother would not like. He breathed in and thought about his decision. The house needed a bit of work on it, and he probably could have done with another acre or two of land, but he could always find that once he was settled in. It would take all his savings, what with the rent and buying stock to put on it, but at least he’d be his own man and not answerable to anybody, as long as he paid his way.
‘Well, what do you think? Are you interested? It’s not a bad house; the boundaries of the fields could do with a bit of upkeep, but all in all it’s a good enough farm for a small family.’ Dick Turner, the owner, stood back and looked at the young lad whose money he was hoping to part from his pocket.
‘Aye, you are right. It is a good enough spot.’ Jack stood at the garden gate and looked across the valley to Beldi Hill and was reminded why he was set on farming instead of mining, as he looked up at the scars left behind by hushing and the constant search for lead. He couldn’t go back to working in the mines. He needed to make more of his life, despite his mother’s protests. Besides, now that Sam was no more, he was perhaps in with a chance of catching Meg Oversby’s eye, once she had finished mourning Sam’s death.
‘Well, are you to rent it or not? I can have papers drawn up by the end of the week, providing you’ve got the brass.’ Dick Turner looked at the young lad and wished he’d get a move on. Although it had stopped raining, there was a chill in the wind and he needed to get off the hillside and back down to the valley and warmth.
‘Aye, we’ve a deal. And don’t worry – I’ve the brass. I can pay you now, if you want, and then it is done with and I can’t change my mind. Or, more to the point, my mother can’t change my mind for me.’ Jack held out his hand to be shaken by Dick Turner and smiled as the deal was struck. He had his own farm, albeit rented, but it was a start.
He was full of himself as he walked down the road, crossing the bridge back into Gunnerside. It had taken the death of his brother for him to realize that life was too short not to do what you wanted to do, and now he was going to put in place the next piece of his plan. He passed the chapel and its graveyard and thought about his brother lying in the cold earth, and vowed to himself once again to make the best of his life as he entered Gunnerside and decided to call in at the shop to tell Meg his good news.
Harry raised his head as he heard the shop bell go. ‘Oh, it’s you, is it? Are you still not back at work? Your mother will not be happy with that.’ Harry looked up from slicing some bacon and acknowledged Jack.
‘No, I’m not off back to the Owd Gang. I’ve had enough. And as for my mother, she can please herself. Is Meg around? I’ve something to tell her.’ Jack smiled. Even though his heart was heavy with the loss of his brother, he could not quell his excitement.
‘Now don’t you be flirting with Meg. Don’t you think your family has caused enough upset? But aye, I’ll get her. She’s in the back room, waiting for her father and mother to come, now that the weather’s brightened up a bit.’ Harry went towards the doorway.
‘She’s not leaving, is she? You’re not sending her home?’ Jack asked anxiously.
‘That’s for me to know, lad. Now, don’t you go upsetting her.’ Harry went to speak to Meg, who was dreading her parents’ arrival, in case Harry told them all and she had to return home with them.
‘There’s Jack Alderson asking for you in the shop. Now don’t you be leading him on. Remember that family are worth nowt,’ Harry growled as Meg got up from her chair and went into the shop.
Meg looked at Jack and remembered the time he and Sam had stood under the waterfall at Hardraw together, earlier in the year, which seemed like a lifetime away now.
‘Are you alright, Meg? You look not as pale this morning.’ Jack smiled at her as she looked up at him.
‘Yes, I’m as well as can be expected. How are you, and how’s your mother?’ Meg
asked, aware that Harry was standing hidden in the doorway behind her.
‘We are both coping. My mother is missing Sam, though, as they were always close.’ Jack thought how beautiful Meg was. No wonder his brother had fallen for her.
‘Yes, she will miss him greatly, I’m sure.’ Meg nearly cried and then, knowing that her parents could enter the shop at any time, quickly controlled herself.
‘I thought I would come and tell you my news: that perhaps some good has come out of Sam’s death, and that I have decided to make a new life for myself.’ Jack smiled.
Meg looked concerned. ‘Are you leaving for America? Have you finally decided to go?’
He shook his head. ‘Not America – not that far. I’ve just agreed to rent a small farm down near Muker. You are the first to know. I’m dreading telling my mother, as she’ll not be at all suited. She told me so last night, but I need to live my life and not waste it.’
‘I’m glad for you, I really am.’ Meg stopped in her tracks and felt her stomach churn as she saw and heard her parents and Dan, with the horse and cart, drive up to the shop’s doorway. ‘My parents and my cousin Dan are here. Oh God, I don’t want to go home. I need to stay here,’ she whispered to Jack.
‘Have courage – perhaps they will let you stay,’ Jack whispered back, as the shop bell rang and in stepped Tom and Agnes, shortly followed by Dan, carrying the basket of butter.
‘Thank you. Good luck with the new farm!’ Meg smiled and wished Jack loudly, not wanting her parents to remember him calling at her home looking for work.
‘Aye, thanks for that.’ Jack turned and nodded at Agnes and Tom, then stared at the lad that Meg had called her cousin, noticing Dan pulling his cap down over his eyes so that Jack was hardly able to see his face. He glanced back again as he closed the door behind him. He knew that face, but where from?
‘Now then, our lass, we didn’t make it yesterday because the weather was so bad, but we are here now, so that’s all that matters.’ Tom looked over his shoulder as the door closed behind Jack. ‘Who was that, then? Should I ken him, if he’s a farmer? He looks familiar. I could swear I’ve seen him somewhere else before, but for the love of God I can’t remember where.’
‘That’s Jack Alderson, but no, you’ll not know him,’ Meg said quietly.
‘You look pale, Meg. Are you alright?’ Agnes came over and kissed her daughter on the cheek.
‘I’m quite alright, there’s nothing wrong with me. Uncle Harry has been keeping me on my toes, busy with the shop and other things. Haven’t you, Uncle Harry?’ Meg turned to where Harry had been hiding, as he ventured out of the shadows, and she smiled at him.
‘Aye, we are both alright, and that’s more than can be said for the three that died in a mining accident at the end of last week. Terrible, it was.’ Harry looked at Meg and noticed the worried look on her face. ‘That’s happen why Meg looks pale. Folk have been coming in with their grief all week, needing somebody to listen to their woes. It wears you down after a while. Anyway, it’s good to see you all. I was getting a bit short of butter, so I’m glad you’ve made it over. Now then, Dan, give me your basket and we’ll put it where it’s cool. Not that we need to do so today, as winter will soon be knocking on our door and then we won’t get to see a lot of you.’
Meg looked at Harry with relief. He was obviously not going to say anything about her and Sam, else he would have mentioned it already. ‘Yes, it’s been a bit of a week. Everyone has been in the doldrums, and the weather hasn’t helped.’
‘It’s not been that bad with us. I’ve been helping your father with one thing or another,’ Dan spoke up.
‘It’s not been good, lad. I don’t know where you’ve been all week, but I’ve got piss-wet every time I’ve gone out.’ Tom shook his head in disbelief at some of the stuff that came out of Dan’s mouth. He had quickly come to realize that he had to take everything said by Dan with a pinch of salt. He seemed to have trouble telling the truth, a trait he put down to Dan’s father.
‘Never mind, you are here now. Go through into the back room and have a natter with Meg while I mind the shop. Dan, could you bring me some coal in from the coal-hole? I’ve a bad back, and I don’t want Meg lifting it.’ Harry patted Dan on the back and opened the shop door, taking Dan outside with him to the back of the building and giving Meg some time to talk to her parents and confess all, if she wanted to.
Agnes smiled at Meg. ‘You are sure you’re alright? You do look a little under the weather.’
‘I’m fine, Mum, stop worrying. I’m as happy as I’ve ever been. Now, come and tell me what’s new at home, and update me on any gossip.’ Meg smiled and walked through to the back room. If she could manage to keep it together today, she could manage for the rest of her life, and her parents need never know of her heartache over Sam.
‘That’s alright then. As long as you are fine, that’s all we are bothered about.’ Agnes smiled at her daughter. She didn’t believe her for one minute – something was not quite right with her Meg. She didn’t know what but, being her mother, she sensed something was wrong.
Meg and Harry waved their visitors goodbye, standing in the shop’s doorway. Both were relieved to see the back of them.
‘Thank you, Uncle Harry, for not saying anything about Sam Alderson,’ Meg said quietly. ‘They wouldn’t have let me stay, you know.’
‘Aye, well, least said, soonest mended. And you seem a bit brighter this morning.’ Harry put his arm around the young lass that he knew to be secretly heartbroken, even though she denied it. ‘Every day will get a bit better, lass. I know that, from my own loss.’
‘I miss Sam, but life has got to go on, I realize that.’ Meg looked up at Harry.
‘Aye, well, we’ve all been there. Folk come and go, and there’s nothing you can do about it. I tell you what: his brother’s done well for himself, renting The Rash so soon after losing his brother. He’s got a bit more sense than his brother had. But by, didn’t he give that Dan a funny look. Jack must be like the rest of us and not be that keen on the little bastard. I know he’s your cousin, but Dan takes the biscuit, telling his tall tales about nowt.’ Harry laughed.
‘I never noticed Jack’s look,’ Meg said, not really bothered.
‘Aye, well, he did. It was if he had recognized Dan from somewhere, but thought better of saying anything – unless it was my imagination.’ Harry slumped down into his chair. ‘I might go and see Lizzie tonight. Will you be alright on your own for an hour or two? You’ll not do owt daft while I’m away?’
‘I’ll be fine, and I promise to behave myself.’ Meg sighed with relief; an hour or two on her own was just what she needed – some peace, and some time to cry and remember Sam without anybody hearing her sobs.
21
‘You’ve rented the place without even giving me the chance to look around it!’ Betty exclaimed as Jack told his mother the news.
‘I did – I had to, else somebody else would have taken it from under my nose. It’s a grand spot, Mother. You climb up the field track to get to it, and it is just under the fellside, out of the way of the wind. The house looks right across at Beldi Hill – it’s got such lovely views up and down the valley. There’s a little over twenty acres, mostly fell, but there’s two good meadows. And the house has got a garden and veg plot, so you can potter about in it.’ Jack never stopped talking for a second, he was so happy with his deal for The Rash.
‘What if I don’t want to go? I’m happy here, so why should I follow you up to some godforsaken hillside? I’ve one or two friends down here in the village, and the shops are handy. I’ll have to walk miles to get anything, or see anybody, up there,’ Betty moaned.
‘Oh, you’ll get used to it. Besides, I’ll buy myself a horse and cart and then you won’t have to walk at all. Mentioning the shop, I’m going to go back there after I’ve had my dinner. I put my head around the shop door to tell Meg my news, when her parents and her so-called cousin came in. I need to ask her how she’s r
elated to Willie Fawcett’s lad, Seth, who used to help him with the packhorses from Liverpool docks. I can’t figure it out. Seth was from out of the workhouse in Liverpool – I’m sure that’s what Willie told us, when he first took Seth on.’
‘Never mind the bloody lad! You told that young Meg your news first, rather than me. Your brother’s not even cold in his grave and you are looking at his lass. You were jealous of him when Sam was courting her. Well, now you are a bit quick in making your move. Show some respect, lad. Sam would have something to say to you, if he could.’ Betty crossed her arms and glared at her son. ‘Well, you’ve helped me make my mind up. I’m stopping where I’m at. If you must go, you can go and be a farmer on your own. I’ll nobbut get in your way, especially if she gets to be about the place. But you’ll have no luck if you’ve set your cap at that lass – she’ll always be Sam’s.’
‘Don’t be daft, Mum. We are just friends. I doubt old Harry Battersby will let Meg out of his sight now, let alone me court her. But I will ask her about that lad. I know it was Seth, because he used to be so cheeky to everyone when he brought supplies. But he’s not been for a while now, and I never thought anything of it. As for you stopping here, it’s up to you, but I wouldn’t want to see you on your own. And my belly would still need feeding, and you know I can’t cook. You’d only miss me, you know you would. I could run you down in a horse and trap, when I get one bought. You could have a weekly visit into Hawes or Reeth market, like all the farmers’ wives do. You’d soon be butchering your own pig and making butter along with the rest of them.’ Jack grinned.
‘I’m too long in the tooth for that, lad. You do need a woman of your own, but I’ll think about it.’ Betty shook her head as she saw to his dinner. She had no intention of leaving her cottage, if she could still manage to pay the rent. Jack would be doing this venture on his own, just this once.
Jack ate his dinner and, although excited about his rental of the farm, he was still thinking about seeing the lad he knew as Seth, from Liverpool docks. He cleared his plate and yelled his thanks to his mother, then made his way out of the cottage across the gill and down to the shop. It didn’t add up: how could Seth be Meg’s cousin? He’d seen Seth coming up to the mines in Swaledale since he was nine or ten; he’d even seen him break his leg when a mule kicked him, and Willie Fawcett had cursed at having to report the incident to the workhouse and being without Seth’s help for a month or two. This couldn’t be Meg’s cousin!
