by Diane Allen
‘Oh, Mother, for once in your life, shut up. Sam is not coming back. Perhaps if he had listened to me, or gone to this new Literary Institute to learn more about things, he’d still be alive today. I must have told him a thousand times not to put his pipe in the same pocket as his gunpowder, but like the fool he was, he never listened. And as for you being abandoned, you are not. You can come with me: the choice is yours. And if you don’t, then I will try to take care of you. I can always farm and work at the mine – not that I’ve a caring to do so, but I might have to,’ Jack snapped at his mother, as he picked up the leaflet and looked at it with more care, following his mother’s harsh words. Perhaps Meg would be interested; perhaps this was something he could ask her to attend with him?
‘Sam would never have talked to me like that! I don’t know what’s got into your head lately, what with farms and not working at the mine – not to mention chasing after your brother’s girl. Your father and Sam will be turning in their graves!’ Betty sobbed.
‘Aye, well, I’ve no intention of joining them just yet. I’ve a life to live. I’m off out. I’ll be back in time for supper, and I’ll bring that back with me. I’ll go and catch a salmon if I can, or at least a trout or two. The beck’s in flood, from the rain that fell last night, so you don’t have to worry about starving yet,’ he said sarcastically as he headed to the kitchen door.
‘Don’t you get caught by the beck-watcher, or it’ll be prison for you, and I’ve no money to bail you out with,’ Betty yelled after him, as she watched Jack stamp angrily down the garden path with the Literary Institute leaflet in his hand. What had she done to deserve all this worry? she thought to herself, as she turned and looked around the two-bedroom cottage that she loved so dearly.
Meg looked up when the shop bell jingled as Jack entered.
‘Are you back already? Although I’m glad, because I wanted to thank you for going to see my parents today, now that I’m on my own here.’ She smiled at Jack and watched as he stood awkwardly in front of her with something in his hand.
‘Your own? Mr Battersby’s not about?’ Jack asked quietly.
‘No, he’s gone to see his lady friend in Reeth, but I’m not supposed to say that.’ Meg giggled a little. Her trip home with Jack had reminded her of how she had first been attracted to him, and perhaps it should have been Jack that she had fallen for.
‘I just wondered . . . the new Institute is opening Friday night, and I wondered if you would like to go and have a look around it with me? I like to read, and the woman that gave me this leaflet told me there’s going to be a library there.’ Jack looked down at his feet and shuffled them, not really expecting Meg to say yes.
‘Yes, that would be grand. I’ve kept wondering what it was going to be like inside, and now you’ve given me the chance to find out. A book to read of an evening is just what I will need, to pass the long, dark nights that we will soon be having.’ Meg smiled.
‘That’s grand. I’ll pick you up about seven?’ Jack smiled back. He couldn’t believe that she had accepted his offer.
‘Yes, I’m sure Uncle Harry will not mind, as long as he knows who I’m with and where, and I’m not back too late.’ Meg looked at Jack’s face and noticed the delight upon it.
‘I don’t suppose you could get a day off and come into Reeth with me next weekend as well? I need to buy myself a milk-cow and a horse, if I can afford both.’ Jack thought that while the going was good, he had nothing to lose by asking; and he could do with Meg’s knowledge of both animals.
‘I’ll see what Harry says. I don’t think he’ll mind. I haven’t had a day out of the shop since I arrived. So I can’t see why not.’ Meg grinned. ‘Not that I’m the best judge of either, but I suppose I’m better than you are.’
‘Aye, but I’ll improve, once I’m up at The Rash. As long as I can be self-sufficient, I’ll be alright. There’s a good vegetable plot and a garden that just needs turning over before spring. And once I’ve a cow and a few hens, I’ll be right for butter, milk and eggs, and there’s not much more that I’ll want. My mother is being a stubborn old bugger and saying she’s not coming with me, so I might still have to do a day or two up at the mine, to keep her roof over her head. I could have done without that, but then again there’s a lot of farmers in the same position, so I shouldn’t moan. Even though other farmers are not keen on the miners.’ Jack looked serious.
‘But you didn’t want to go back to the mine. Especially not after losing Sam. Won’t your mother live with you, and then you don’t have to worry about her?’ Meg asked.
‘Nay, I’m happen better off without her. I’d like to take myself a wife, have a family of my own, and she’d not be happy for me to do that if she lived with me. She’s over-protective, when it comes to her bairns. And now she’s lost Sam, I don’t think she wants me ever to leave her side, but I’m not falling for that.’ Jack shook his head and glanced up at Meg. He wanted to say, ‘I want you by my side’, but knew the timing was wrong, and that she still mourned for Sam.
‘I know. My parents still think I’m a girl, but in two months’ time I’ll be twenty, and my mum was that age when she married.’ Meg sighed.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow night then. I’ll pick you up. I’m on my way to catch some salmon for supper. It might take me some time, because I lie on the bank and tickle them. I know it sounds daft, but you lie down on the bank next to a pool that you know the salmon are in and, when they go under a stone near you, that’s when you put your hand carefully in the water, before placing it underneath them to stroke their belly gently. They like that, and they calm down enough for you to grab them out of the water and onto the bank, if you are lucky. My father taught me that before he died, God bless his soul.’ Jack laughed. ‘I’ll bring you one, if you want – you and Harry.’
‘No, you are fine, thanks. I don’t like fish, and I’ve a stew cooking on the range for tonight, but I’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.’ Meg smiled at Jack as he left the shop. She would look forward to choosing a book with him, and to a day out in Reeth with him. It would make a change, providing Harry agreed to both.
Harry pondered his stew, as Meg made both of her requests attentively while they ate supper together.
‘I don’t know if I should let you. I don’t suppose there’s any harm in you going to the Literary Institute together, but going into Reeth is a different matter. You’ll be gone a full day with Jack. That gives you plenty of time for him to get up to no good with you.’
‘Uncle Harry, we are friends. I’d never feel the same way about Jack as I did about Sam. And Jack is completely different; he’s quite reserved and would never dream of doing anything against my will. Besides, I’m a long way from being over the death of Sam. I have no interest in such things.’ Meg blushed; she’d not spoken so openly to her parents, let alone to a man who was not even related to her. However, she felt that between Harry and her there was a bond, and both had kept secrets about one another to themselves, so a special trust had formed.
‘Well . . . Jack’s got to promise to me that he’ll behave himself, and then I suppose you can go. He’ll have no idea what to look for in a cow, so he’ll need your help. Why he’s decided to farm is beyond me, but perhaps it’ll suit him.’ Harry pushed his empty plate to one side.
‘His grandfather was a farmer, you know, down below Leyburn. They haven’t always been miners.’ Meg rose to Jack’s defence.
‘Aye, well, that makes no difference. You behave yourselves, else I’ll have something to say to you both. I mean to send you back home in another month in the same condition you came to me in, if you understand my meaning.’ Harry looked across at Meg and saw how embarrassed she looked.
‘You’ll have no problem with that,’ she said quietly, with her head hung low. She was nearing tears as she said it, knowing full well that her monthly had not arrived on time and that she was starting to worry about the consequences. Never before had her monthly been late, and she feared the wor
st.
‘Get yourselves gone then, I’ll ask Lizzie up here to keep me company. She can help in the shop.’ Harry smiled and watched as Meg tidied the supper table, thinking that she deserved a bit of joy in her life. After all, her head had been turned by the wrong lad and now that he’d gone, she would need a friend, albeit Sam’s brother was not the best candidate. But Jack seemed to have more sense than the one that had just been buried.
‘Thank you, Uncle Harry, and you needn’t worry,’ Meg said quietly, hoping that she was not lying and that all would be well when her monthly arrived. After all, she was only a day or two late.
‘By, look at all these books – I’ve never seen as many. It’s a grand thing they’ve set up here. It’ll help many a miner become literate and will learn them more about their work. It’s a bit like being back at school, mind, but that’s not a bad thing, because some of the folk around here have never been to school and they regret it now.’
Jack walked through the Literary Institute, taking note of the lessons that were to be given of an evening to help promote education and welfare in the dale. The walls were stacked high with books and there were writing materials and paper, with desks to sit at and learn in every room.
‘Our lad, if he was still alive, should have been coming here. Look, there’s a geologist one evening a week, explaining how to find lead and how it is formed. That would have helped Sam, and he’d have been wanting my job and all, because the geologist’s also talking about the proper way to go about smelting. I just did as I was taught. I know nowt about why I do it, in truth, and I should do.’
‘Yes, it will help folk. And the library is a godsend. Folk can even take a book home with them, as long as they return it. I’m going to enjoy this one, it’s about Dentdale and is called Hope On, Hope Ever and it should be good.’ Meg looked at the book in her hand and smiled. ‘I’m glad Harry is letting me come with you on Saturday, I’m looking forward to it. You know I don’t know that much about cows, but I can tell if they are going to be a good milker or not. As for horses, I know you look at their teeth to age them; other than that, you can count me out.’
‘It’ll be alright. I can only buy what I can afford anyway, and I’ve not that much brass to be flashing about. As long as the cow can supply the house with milk, and the horse gets me from one place to another, I’ll be happy. I thought that if we had time I’d treat us both to a spot of something to eat in the Buck, if you fancy?’ Jack stood in the doorway of the Institute and waited for an answer.
‘Yes, if you like. I can’t pay my way though. Harry doesn’t seem to think I need paying for being over here and looking after him. Although I’m not complaining, because I have everything I need through the shop. And he treats me well, he’s a good man.’ Meg smiled.
‘I don’t think he’s that keen on me. He gave me a right lecture when I picked you up. I didn’t think he was going to let me come with you at first.’ Jack shook his head.
‘That’s because of Sam. He knew I was a little heartbroken over him, and I’d sneaked about behind his back. That’s why I asked him if it was alright if you accompanied me this evening and tomorrow. I don’t want to deceive him again,’ Meg said quietly.
‘You were heartbroken – are you not still? You sound as if you have moved on with your life.’ Jack quizzed her.
‘I know it’s early days since Sam’s death, but I’ve had time to think about things, and it would never have worked with me and Sam. I love my family too much. It would have broken their hearts if I had run away with him, and I think I was just infatuated by his attention to me. He was my first love, and I knew no different than to be obsessed by him. Sam made me feel special, but I think he did that with most girls, with hindsight. Death is all around us. My aunt and her husband have died, and Mary at the shop, but hardly any tears have been shed for them. You’ve got to get on with life, no matter how much you hurt.’ Meg looked up at Jack. ‘Don’t think I’m hard-hearted. I was enchanted by Sam and I’ll never, ever forget him, but I’ve done my crying now, especially if I have to go home in another few weeks. It’s no good staying with Uncle Harry and moping, looking out at the graveyard every day, which is what I initially thought I was going to do. Besides, the so-called “Dan” has left now, so they’ll need me back home. With winter coming, there will be a lot more to do on the farm. It’s better to think of the living than the dead,’ she whispered.
‘I know, that’s why I’ve rented a farm. Life’s too short to be doing something you don’t enjoy. The trouble is my mother: she’s always got her own way, and she thinks I’m selfish. Believe me, I’m not. I just don’t want to spend my days walking up that fellside, gasping for breath like all the old smelters do, when the dust from the ore has clogged up their lungs and they are dying a slow, painful death. You’re right – death is all around us, and you have to embrace living and make the best of your life. Anyway, enough of this miserable talk. And speaking of my mother, I’d better get myself back to her, else she will be swearing at me. And Harry will be waiting for you. Do you want me to walk you home, or are you alright walking the short distance back?’ He smiled at Meg.
‘No, I’m fine. It’s not as if it’s a hundred miles away, just a short walk over the small bridge across the gill and then I’m home. I’ll see you tomorrow. And something to eat there would be lovely. Thank you.’ Meg watched as Jack made his way up the lane, past the smithy, following the gill edge to his mother’s cottage at the end of the lane. There was more to Jack, she thought as she wandered home; he had ambition and he looked to the future. He’d always been in Sam’s shadow, when she thought about it now. Perhaps Sam had shone too brightly in life to have lived to any great age.
Meg sighed. She’d lied to Jack, for there was a small piece of her heart that would always be Sam’s. He had been her very first love – the love that no woman ever forgets – and part of him would always be with her, right to her death. However, with Sam now dead, she realized that Jack was perhaps the better of the two brothers, and she had no intention of hurting his feelings because of her puppy love for someone she was beginning to realize she had hardly known.
Reeth was busy. Market-goers had full baskets of fruit and vegetables, and women haggled at stalls, as the men of the family sold their livestock and discussed the politics of the day.
‘That’s the one you want.’ Meg leaned over the hastily erected wooden pens that were in place on the sloping grassy marketplace in the centre of the village. ‘That roan shorthorn, she’ll give you plenty of milk and she doesn’t look that old.’ She pointed to a cow that looked bewildered as it stood penned up with the other animals that were for sale.
‘You are sure? What about that one over there – she’s a reasonable price, and the fella that is selling her has some sheep for sale and all, so perhaps I could do a deal?’ Jack looked around him. He’d been to the market many a time, but not with this much brass in his pocket, and with so much at stake if he bought unwisely.
‘No, she’s no good. She’s not got a good bag on her – she’s no milk.’ Meg pointed to her udders and then nodded at the cow she had recommended, as she yelled above the squawking of some geese in the next pen.
‘Right, I’ll see what he wants for her, and if he’s willing to take her to Muker for me. Because I’m not paying a drover.’ Jack fumbled in his pocket for his money and went over to the old man who was selling the bewildered animal.
Meg rushed to his side. ‘We can walk her home, especially if you get yourself a horse. Speaking of which, there’s a fell pony over there. She’s not many hands tall, but she’s sturdy and is just what you want, by the look of her. She’s well-ridden, you can tell by her back – it’s slightly dipped. And she seems good-natured enough.’ Meg followed Jack as he went to negotiate his purchase of the cow, all the time looking at what animals were for sale and hoping to spot a good buy.
‘How much are you wanting for your shorthorn, sir?’ Jack asked the gruff-looking old man in his workshirt.
‘It’ll be a half a guinea, and not a penny less. She’s worth more than that, as she’s a good milker and as calm as you like,’ the old guy said.
‘Will you take ten shillings? She’ll have a good home and will be looked after well.’ Jack held out his hand to be shaken.
‘Nay, I promised my old lass that I wouldn’t let her go for less than half a guinea. She’s thought a lot of, is this old lass. The missus didn’t want to part with her, but we need the money.’ The old man rubbed his head and looked at the two young folk in front of him. ‘Are you two starting out? I remember those days like yesterday, when me and my old lass were newly married and hadn’t a penny to our names.’
Meg quickly said, ‘Yes, we’ve just rented our first farm. Every penny counts.’ She glanced at Jack, hoping that he would say nothing to the contrary.
‘Because I like the look of your wife, and she looks that disappointed. Aye, you can take Daisy for what you are offering. Call me a soft old lump, and think of me when I get an earful of the old woman tonight.’ He held his hand out to be shaken, after spitting on it for luck. ‘Are you taking her now, or have you more business to be done? I’ll be here until five or thereabout. I’m waiting on my lad; he’s at the blacksmith’s.’
‘We’ll be here for another hour. Can you hold onto her until we return?’ Jack passed the man the ten shillings and shook his hand, beaming at Meg as he realized that she had saved him money.
‘Aye, I’ll hold onto her. Go and get what else you want. Neither of us will be going far.’ The old guy patted the cow’s neck and looked at the loved beast; he was going to miss Daisy, for she was almost part of the family.
