by Linda Ford
Beatrice smiled and nodded as Maisie continued, little knowing preparing a meal was but a fraction of things she felt incapable of doing. And now her ignorance was to be revealed before the whole family.
Unless she could find a way to escape the gathering.
“Big Sam is bringing in a roast. I’ll show you how to cook it. We’ll have it hot for supper tonight and slice the rest cold for tomorrow.” Maisie rattled on about cooking potatoes and boiling eggs for a potato salad. She mentioned the things Susanne and Willow would bring. “They are both fine cooks. You’ll enjoy meeting them.”
Beatrice wondered how Maisie could voice both thoughts together.
“I’ll help you make a chocolate cake.”
A cake? Beatrice had barely managed muffins and her first attempt at bread had been a failure. Now Maisie wanted her to bake a cake.
Maybe she should go back to Chicago, where she knew how to fit in.
But of course she wouldn’t. She would learn how to bake a cake, make bread, cook a meal and whatever else she must know to survive in the country.
So she could be independent? A thin little idea crept in. Or so she could fit into ranch life?
Ranch life, town life—what did it matter so long as she could prove she could take care of herself? That she was more than a pretty little reward for people using her to achieve bigger and better plans.
“That’s Levi’s favorite,” Maisie said.
Dolly had been listening to the conversation. “My papa liked chocolate cake best,” she whispered.
Beatrice looked at the child, seeing tears pooled in her eyes. She knelt and pulled Dolly into her arms. “Then you must help me make a chocolate cake for Levi and his family. Okay?”
Dolly nodded.
Beatrice allowed herself just a tiny hope that the cake would turn out and Levi would be pleased to have known she’d prepared his favorite. She pulled a chair to the table for Dolly to perch on, got the ingredients Maisie listed and, with Maisie directing them, she and Dolly mixed up a cake and stuck it in the oven. Beatrice held up crossed fingers. “I hope it turns out okay.”
Maisie chuckled. “It’s never failed.”
Indeed, it looked just like a cake should look when Beatrice pulled it from the oven a short time later and set the pans on a rack to cool.
“Now you’ll have to make the icing.”
Beatrice gulped. “Don’t you think you’re expecting the impossible to think I can make a cake and the icing?”
Maisie only smiled. “Not at all.”
And so Beatrice, with Dolly’s eager help, mixed together the sugar and cocoa and cream in a pot and set it to boil. She cooked it, cooled it and beat it according to Maisie’s instructions, then spread it on the layers of the cake. Done, she stepped back and admired her creation.
“It wasn’t hard, at all, was it?” Maisie asked.
“Not with you guiding me.” Would she be able to do it again on her own? She hoped so. She ticked off on her fingers the things she now knew how to do—make a few meals, make biscuits, do the laundry, clean the house and now, bake a cake. She was getting downright domestic. Her victory faded a bit. Likely no one else would think so.
As she worked throughout the day, she thought of meeting Johnny and Willow for the first time, and their children—baby Adam and his two sisters, Celia and Sarah. They were twelve and ten respectively. She’d also meet Tanner and Susanne, and Susanne’s two nieces and two nephews, whom they were raising. She had asked Maisie to repeat their names and ages several times, determined to keep all the children sorted out. Frank, eleven, Liz, ten, Janie, six, and Robbie, five.
In the afternoon, she took Dolly outside and sat in the shade to talk. Every time the visitors were mentioned throughout the morning, Dolly had grown stiff. Beatrice hoped she could prepare the child for the upcoming day.
Or should she take her and the two of them could go elsewhere until the visitors left? The thought was tempting, yet she felt honor-bound to help Maisie take care of the meal. Plus she was eager to see Levi with his family and watch his reaction when he tasted the chocolate cake she had made.
“Two of the children are your age so you’ll have someone to play with.”
Dolly stared at a spot on the ground, not moving, not saying anything.
Beatrice glanced toward the barn, saw Levi standing in the doorway watching. A smile tugged at her lips. Try as she might, she could not forget the few tender moments they had shared—one when he’d surprised her with a kiss and another when they knew Dolly was safe. She wondered if he felt the same way. But right now, her concern was Dolly and she sent him a silent plea for help.
He must have heard her unspoken request for he ambled toward them and sank to the ground on the other side of Dolly. He smoothed Dolly’s hair. “What are you fine ladies doing this afternoon?”
“I was telling her about your brothers and their families visiting tomorrow.”
Dolly stiffened.
Levi shared a look of concern with Beatrice and then bent his head close to Dolly’s. “Are you scared of so many people?”
Dolly nodded.
Levi chuckled. “Can’t say as I blame you.”
Beatrice wanted to warn him his words were only adding to the child’s worries, but he continued before she could speak.
“Did you know Tanner caught a bunch of horses and is taming them to start a new herd?”
Dolly shifted a bit as if interested.
“Funny thing is he caught himself a pretty young woman with four orphaned children at the same time.”
“Their mama and papa are dead?” Dolly whispered.
“Sadly they are. But they had their aunt Susanne and now they have Tanner. One big happy family.” He paused to let her digest the information. “And then there’s Johnny.”
“What’s he do?” Dolly asked in her quiet little voice.
“He’s raising horses, too, only he’s raising those big horses that pull heavy wagons or plows. They’re very nice horses. Gentle and easygoing. You’d never guess where he found his wife.”
Dolly rolled her head back and forth.
“She was in a rickety wagon with her little baby boy trying to get to her orphaned sisters.”
“No mama and papa?” Dolly said again.
“No, but they have their sister, Willow, and now Johnny, and they live in a very pretty spot.”
He’d once told her that was where Helen had lived and Beatrice wondered if it hurt to see his brother and family living there.
Dolly studied Levi for several seconds, looking for and finding encouragement to face children who had suffered the same sad loss of parents she had, and then Dolly turned to Beatrice.
“Will they tease Smokey?”
At a loss to know how to answer, Beatrice looked to Levi for direction.
He smiled, turning her heart all mushy soft. “I think Maisie would let Smokey sleep on your bed while they’re here. If Beatrice thinks that’s a good idea.”
Beatrice hugged Dolly to her side. “It’s fine with me.”
Her arm brushed along Levi’s side and she remained there, content for this small contact and happy to know Dolly felt safe with them.
“Can I take her to the room now and tell her she will have to stay there when your family comes?” Dolly asked.
Even though the kitten spent every night in the bed and was welcome anywhere in the house, Beatrice understood Dolly needed to prepare herself and answered, “Yes, you may.”
Dolly got up and took the kitten inside.
Neither Levi nor Beatrice moved.
Levi was the first to break the silence between them. “I’m going to miss her when her aunt takes her.”
“Me, too.” She couldn’t keep the pain from her voice. “I’ve
grown to love her.”
He squeezed her hand. “I pray the aunt will be loving and understanding.”
Just like he’d promised. “Me, too.”
He pushed to his feet and reached down to pull her up. Gaining her feet, she stood but a few inches from him, close enough to see how the pupils of his eyes disappeared into his irises. She was drawn into his gaze, floating like a leaf in the wind. She knew all her longings and dreams showed on her face, but at the moment she couldn’t think why she should care that he saw them. But would he? Would he understand what she wanted when she wasn’t even certain herself? Was it independence or acceptance? Would she know what she wanted if she found it?
He still held her hands, folding them to his chest.
He shifted his gaze past her to the barn and the fence he was working on and pulled his hands free. “Pa wants me to finish the new enclosure before Johnny and Tanner come.” His gaze did not return to her as he murmured a quick goodbye and hurried away.
She sucked in warm air, sweet with the scent of roses, and willed her heart to stop fluttering. He’d been clear that he wasn’t interested in caring for another woman. Not after Helen. Why that knowledge should sting she couldn’t say...or admit.
As soon as she felt she had schooled away every hint of her wayward reaction, she returned to the house to finish the meal preparation under Maisie’s instructions.
Somehow she managed to avoid looking directly at Levi when he came in for the evening meal, but when they went around the table to tell of their day, she let her hungry eyes find satisfaction.
He looked at Maisie as he spoke, his gaze drifting to Beatrice where it stalled as he talked of his day.
She heard not a word of what he said, trapped by the look in his dark eyes.
Did he intend for her to see longing, or was she only seeing the reflection of her own thoughts?
* * *
The next day was Sunday and she dressed in a stylish gown. One in dark gold that she thought emphasized her eyes and hair in a becoming fashion.
Dolly scrambled from the bed. “What I wear?” she asked in an anxious whisper.
Beatrice had gone through her clothes and decided she liked the purple dress she’d worn when she and Levi found her. She’d washed and ironed it. Again she thought how much pleasure it would give her to take the child shopping. She handed it to Dolly and helped her with the buttons, then brushed and braided her hair.
She talked as she did so. “Remember all the people who are coming to visit. You’ll have friends to play with. I’m sure you’ll have fun.”
Dolly listened carefully as if trying to believe that Beatrice was right.
As soon as they were ready, they went to the kitchen, where she made and served a simple breakfast. She was so nervous she couldn’t hold a thought for more than a second and her gaze darted from one thing to another throughout the meal. Nor did her tension ease when the men went outside.
Her hands were in soapy dishwater when a wagon drove into the yard. She stared out the window as a man as dark and handsome as Levi swung to the ground and reached up to take a little boy from the woman’s arms then helped her down. The woman took off her hat and shook her long, dark hair free. It tumbled down her back.
Two girls jumped from the back of the wagon.
This must be Johnny and Willow and their family.
Levi and Big Sam greeted them and then Big Sam ushered them to the house while Levi took care of the wagon.
As they drew closer Beatrice stared at the woman. Her dark, bold look made Beatrice feel mousy and colorless. So much for thinking she looked fine in her dress.
They stepped inside and all of them kissed Maisie on the cheek then turned to Beatrice.
“Johnny and his wife, Willow,” Big Sam said. “Their children, Adam, Celia and Sarah. This is Beatrice Doyle, who has kindly been helping Maisie.” He smiled down at Dolly as he introduced her.
“Pleased to meet you,” they all said in a flurry of greetings.
The sound of another wagon drew Beatrice’s attention back to the window to watch the newcomers. Tanner was darker than Levi. Susanne as blond as Beatrice but with dark-fringed eyes. Tanner lifted her to the ground, the look between them so warm with love it made Beatrice’s eyes sting.
Four children jumped from the back of the wagon.
She smiled at how the two littlest ones bounced up and down. She squeezed Dolly’s shoulder. It would be nice for the little girl to have some playmates.
The family trooped in and Beatrice and Dolly were again introduced.
“What’s this I hear about you?” Johnny asked and Maisie explained about her accident.
“But enough about me. I want to hold our church service outdoors.” She reached for Sam, who picked her up and led the procession from the house.
Beatrice followed them outside, purposely staying a distance behind. She was not a part of this family. She clutched Dolly’s hand, feeling every bit an orphan as the child beside her.
The family sat on a slight knoll. Beatrice sat two feet away with Dolly clinging to her side but Maisie would have none of it. She patted the spot beside her. “Sit by me.”
Beatrice could not refuse without drawing attention to herself and she and Dolly slid over. She tucked away a sigh of relief when Levi sat down beside Dolly and smiled at them both. She’d never been part of such a large family gathering and struggled against a desire to belong. She ought to write across her brain in large and bold letters Must Find Independence, more for her sake than for anyone else’s.
She kept her attention on Big Sam, who stood before them to lead the service. She joined in as they sang two hymns, then Big Sam opened his Bible. “Maisie asked me to read these verses in Jeremiah chapter twenty-nine.” He read aloud. “‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.’”
Beatrice’s thoughts stalled. Hadn’t she decided to trust God to take her to the place she needed to be? God, forgive me my wayward thoughts and guide me to my expected end. She tried to envision that as a woman earning her own living, proving her worth, but the plan faded until she couldn’t see it clearly anymore.
Big Sam finished reading and closed the Bible. “You’ve all heard Maisie say it but I believe it bears repeating. God can be trusted to guide us even through surprising and unexpected circumstances.”
“Amen,” Tanner said and earned himself an adoring look from his wife.
Big Sam continued. “Often we fight against surprises and think we’ve made a mistake when rather we need to stop and pray and seek God’s will in a situation.” The simple service ended in prayer.
The men moved off and conferred with one another.
“Big Sam is worried about the mischief that has been going on here,” Maisie said.
Beatrice’s gaze followed Levi across the yard. When he disappeared into the barn, her heart continued to follow him.
She shook her head. Romance and heart-rending love was not in her carefully planned future. Planned by whom? A doubt crept into her mind. Was it God’s expected end for her? If Levi came to her and confessed the same kind of love she saw between his brothers and their wives, what would she do? She brushed her skirts as if they were dusty. They weren’t. She simply needed to keep her attention on something she could touch and see.
Levi would never let himself fall in love with an incompetent city girl.
But if he did?
She couldn’t answer the question.
* * *
Levi followed his pa and brothers to the new set of corrals. He would not glance back to see if Beatrice noticed him leaving, perhaps even regretted it, but the effort to keep his face forward made his neck hurt.
He’d noticed how she’d hung back as if she didn’t
want to be part of the family gathering. Part of him resented her attitude but a much larger part wanted to draw her into the family, let her see how welcomed she’d be, how she’d fit in like a missing member if she would let herself do so. But the stubborn set of her chin let him know that she wanted only to follow her own plans. He vowed he would not think of her the rest of the day.
“Have either of you seen any sort of mischief like we have?” Big Sam asked of Levi’s brothers after he’d filled them in to what was going on at the ranch.
The brothers said they had not.
Big Sam thumped his fist to the top plank of the fence. “I don’t like it. What is the purpose of all this?”
Tanner studied Levi. “Sounds personal to me. What have you done to offend someone?”
The question brought Levi’s full attention to the conversation. “Me? You’re the one who always used to walk around with a chip on your shoulder looking for someone to be mad at.”
Tanner shrugged. “You’ve got the wrong man in mind.”
Levi and Johnny looked at each other and chuckled. It was true. Since Tanner had met Susanne, the chip on his shoulder had vanished.
Big Sam held up a hand. “Let’s concentrate on the matter at hand.”
The brothers nodded. For the next few minutes, they tried to think why anyone would want to bother the ranch, but no one could come up with anything that made sense.
“Looks like the women are putting out the meal,” Tanner said, and the men all looked that direction. Both Johnny and Tanner hurried to help their wives.
Levi hesitated about five seconds, then trotted toward the house, catching Beatrice just as she reached the door. “Can I help carry anything?”
“Yes, please.” She handed him a box of dishes.
“What do you think of my family?” he asked.
“There’s lots of them.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “Must seem like it to an only child. To me, too. Until a few months ago I had only two brothers. Now look at the family. How is Dolly doing?”
“She was sitting close to Maisie when I left.” Her expression grew troubled. “I hope she doesn’t find it all too overwhelming.”
