by J. L. Beck
21
Celia
I don’t throw myself pity parties. I didn’t when my sister died or when my father told me he was arranging my marriage. I’m a firm believer that crying over something doesn’t change the outcome. Right now, I’d give myself a few seconds to feel what I’m feeling and then push past it. I’ve concluded that there is no way out of this house. I’m resigned to that fact. My escape attempt proved useless.
Still, every second that passes, I wonder how I’ll live through this hopelessness that’s swamping me? Dragging me under in wave after wave of despair? Nicolo intends to sell me. He hasn’t once deviated from that plan, and yet I keep trying to make him see I’m worth more than a paycheck, more than revenge.
I guess it’s stupid to hope I’d gotten through to him. When he kissed me last night, I saw stars. Even though it was little more than teeth and tongues tangling roughly, it was the first time I felt him with me when we were together. Every other time, as he so eloquently puts it, I felt like little more than a wet hole. My ignorance of sex stamped across my forehead for him to mock.
It’s the ignorance he enjoys when he touches me, and it’s his touch that I enjoy so much. I enjoy how his breathing quickens and his heart beats faster against me. He wants me, but he doesn’t want to admit it.
The proof of all of that is me being tied to the bed. I still can’t believe he just left me here. I’d never been so ashamed as when Sarah walked in. He made sure my legs are open so everyone walking in gets a magnificent view of my most private parts.
At least Sarah was the only person to come in here. I don’t even want to think who else could walk in. On cue, the doorknob turns, and the door opens. Like a bunny caught in a trap, I wiggle against the restraints, the rope cutting into my skin painfully.
“I know you’re excited to see me, but that’s no reason to squirm,” Nic’s voice booms through the room, and to my annoyance, that calms me. Better him than some random guard, or even worse, his brother.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I blurt out.
“Good thing I’m here to untie you. Your punishment is over,” he announces and starts undoing the knots. He frees my ankles first. As soon as my legs are free, I squeeze my thighs together, making him chuckle.
“Too late to be shy now,” he murmurs while untying my wrists. “As much as I’d like to play with you a little more, I have things to do. Behave, or you’ll be right back here.”
“Great,” I say sarcastically. Rubbing the soreness from my wrists, I sit up and watch him leave the room like it’s just another day at the office.
Still angry as can be, I climb off the bed and head to the bathroom. Then I find something to wear and sit back down on the mattress. I lean back into the side of the bed, the ball of my hair pressing uncomfortably against my scalp. My gaze gravitates to the ceiling as I’m trying to come to terms with everything.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do for a Starbucks right now.
A snort slips out as I imagine the extra whipped topping on a mocha frappuccino. I don’t know why I’m even thinking about something so mundane, especially when there are more pressing matters, like how the hell I’m going to get myself out of this without being tagged and sold like a cow at an auction.
I push the thought of a Starbucks to the back of my mind; such luxuries are a thing of the past. My buyer will have certain expectations of me. He’ll realize quickly that I won’t sit quietly and let him do what he wants with me.
The thought of escape, of fighting back, pushes a little of the despair away, making the pressure on my chest bearable. I might not escape Nicolo, but that doesn’t mean I won’t escape whoever purchases me tomorrow night.
The door opens with a slight creak behind me, but I don’t bother looking. What more can he do to me now? The click of shoes across the hardwood is stiff, hesitant, not Nicolo’s you-should-be-bowing-to-me gait. I glance up over my shoulder to find the other man, his friend, Soo.
His brown eyes are electric as he surveys me from head to toe. “Are you all right?” He’s asking like he legitimately cares, which I can’t believe for a second.
I don’t bother hiding my snark. “Why do you care? Need to make sure the merchandise is intact before you can put me up to the bidders?”
He tracks his gaze up the bruises on my legs with a little frown. “Contrary to what you might think, I don’t enjoy this.”
“Well, Nicolo does. He seems perfectly content leaving me naked and tied to the bed all day, using me, and selling me. Matter of fact, he’s done all of this with a smile on his face. I’m pretty sure he’s enjoying this.”
“He needs his revenge. Unfortunately, you are collateral in his plan.”
“Whatever revenge he gets by selling me won’t help him and won’t make him feel better when he’s finished. I’ll just be another mark on his conscience, another scar he’ll never be able to erase.”
My voice is low and thready. I try to keep the tears at bay so he doesn’t truly see how scared I am. “He should have done his research. My father doesn’t give a shit about me except for what my marriage could bring him. He’s waited years for an alliance with one of the other families, but he’s resourceful. I’m sure he’s already bounced back and launched a new venture to bring him the connections he wants.”
“This isn’t about your father caring about you. This is about Nic taking something away from your father. You don’t think we know he doesn’t love you? It’s clear he doesn’t but knowing that Nic took something from him is what will destroy him. Knowing he used you for his benefit instead of your father’s, that’s the real revenge.”
My mouth falls open, probably making me look like I feel—a fish out of water. Of course, he knows. Yet, he doesn’t care that I’m innocent. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.
Soo studies me, his long muscular legs showcased in tight black jeans. With his hair back, I can see the straight sweep of his cheekbones and the sharp cut of his jawline. He’s beautiful, but so is Nicolo, and I’m reminded then that even the devil can look like an angel.
“Do you have any requests? I can get you something, make you more comfortable.”
“Why?” I spit. “So I owe you something too? Want to pop by for a hand job later to make sure I live up to the expectations of your clients?”
His posture is rigid, but he doesn’t react to my statement. Not even a flinch. “I want nothing from you, Celia. Do you have any requests or not?”
Anger simmers in my veins. I’m tired of being here, trapped in this ivory castle with a man that will never be my hero.
“Sure, let me go. If you release me, I’ll leave and disappear. I won’t even go home, and then you guys can still pretend you sold me or killed me, whatever you want. I’ll never come back, I promise.”
The corner of his mouth ticks up the tiniest bit, but his eyes remain flat. “I can’t do that. Nic would kill both of us and stick our heads on spikes at the end of his driveway. Not the fate I have in mind for myself. Is there anything else?”
I sob and laugh at the same time. “All I can think about is a mocha frappuccino right now. And pants. If I can have anything, can I please have some damn pants?”
His eyes shoot to my bare legs again, which are stretched out in front of me. My toes are still perfectly painted a lilac purple, despite my barefoot ordeal outside last night.
“I’ll see what I can do. Don’t do anything stupid again. I don’t want to have to hunt you down. And in case you’re wondering, I’m very good at hunting.”
Without another word, he spins around and leaves. I turn my head to watch him walk out of the room and close the door behind him. What the hell kind of game is he playing? Is he truly being kind, or is he trying to get me into trouble with Nic?
I stare at the door for too long, thinking about the differences between Nic and Soo. Both are powerful, strong men. Nic is more authoritative and a little crazy, so people give him a wide berth. Soo seems like the type
that will take you down from the shadows. He’s there and gone before anyone sees a thing.
Out of nowhere, an idea hits me, and I hate it the minute it blooms with life in my brain. Nic wants to sell me to the highest bidder, so sure that my virginity and status as a daughter of the five families will bring in some big cash. But what if I’m not a virgin when I walk up on that auction block? The idea is crazy, absolutely insane. Of course, it would be his word against mine. Until the buyer got me home, and my word proved true. Then he’d want his money back.
I tap my finger against my chin, thinking deeper on it. There are flaws in my logic. The only way a buyer could tell he lied would be to touch me.
A shiver runs down my spine, and bile rises up my throat at the simple thought.
Soo might be a good prospect. At least he’s pretty to look at, and he has an intensity about him that says he’d make it his mission to please a woman underneath him.
I’d already tried my stumble fuck version of seduction on Nicolo, and while I may tempt him, his control runs too deep. He will use my body in every other way, but he won’t fuck me. Even if I want him to, which I hate. I hate wanting him, even more so knowing that he won’t give in to temptation and give us both what we want.
The guards and male staff I’ve seen won’t even look at me. It’s like they know the second they do, Nicolo will come along with a handgun and a devilish smile.
The last choice is Lucas. He’s good-looking enough, but he’s broken. Jagged, shattered from the inside out. It’s not in the same way Nicolo is, but deeper, harsher, like nothing will make it right again. It makes him dangerous and unforgiving—two things I don’t want for my first time.
I slap the heel of my hand against my forehead. No. I can’t be thinking romantically about this. Losing my virginity is nothing more than a plan with very low chance of succeeding—both in the act and in the results.
With my only options being Lucas or Soo, I’d choose Soo in a second. But I need to be ready to accept anyone who comes my way.
With that grim thought bolstering me, I shove off the hardwood and head out into the hall. The pile of firewood is still there, and Nicolo’s office door is open.
The idea of running into him or seeing him right now… No, I can’t face him like this. Not without protection. I rush back to the room and find the fountain pen I’d tucked under my mattress. I carefully fold the sleeves of my shirt up so I can hide it inside the bunched-up fabric. It won’t do a lot of damage, and it won’t hold forever, but it makes me feel safer.
Back in the hallway, I gather the firewood and then enter Nicolo’s office. Thankfully, it’s empty. I let out a sigh of relief and take the wood to the still mostly full box by the fireplace. Once it’s neatly stacked, I turn to leave and collide with a firm chest.
Craning my neck back, I drag my gaze up his body. Not the devil, but the devil’s brother. Lucca stands directly in front of me, blocking my exit.
He’s wearing jeans, a tight black T-shirt, and a scowl just for me. “What the hell are you doing in here?”
I take a step back, but remember my plan, and force myself to at least not retreat any further. “I was just filling the wood box. It’s my chore for the day.” I add a smile on the end, which only causes his frown to deepen.
He throws himself in the armchair in front of the desk like a teenager called to the principal’s office. All his long limbs splayed; his arms crossed over his chest defiantly. “Get the hell out of here and bother someone else.”
I try not to flinch at the harshness of his voice. This is not going how I expected it to. I almost flee in fear, coming up with a different plan, a better plan.
His voice makes me jump. “Why are you still here?”
I clear my throat and take a fearful step toward him, but he doesn’t look up at me. “I was actually wondering if you had any advice for tomorrow?”
Now he arches his neck to stare at me over his shoulder. “Tomorrow?”
“The auction? Any advice to make sure I end up with someone decent?” The words make me want to vomit, but I spit them out anyway, hoping I sound at least pitiable.
He drags his eyes down my body to my bare feet and back up to my face. “You’ll be fine, I’m sure. Just keep your disgusting scar covered. Not that it matters, they can just fuck you from behind, I guess.”
I squeeze my hands tight and then release one to touch the top of his shoulder. It’s a gentle touch, but the second I make contact, he launches out of the chair and halfway across the room.
“What is wrong with you?” he roars.
I can’t stop the shaking, not when he’s screaming at me. I tremble, and not in the same way I do when Nic touches me. This is pure, undiluted fear. Even my voice shakes when I answer him. “I’m sorry… I thought—”
“Thought what?” he demands, stalking forward to tower over me.
With him so close, I can see the resemblance to his brother, but I also see something else. His eyes, so full of pain, look familiar to me. I can’t place how, but I drag my gaze from his and stare down at the floor. “I don’t know. It was stupid. I’ll go back to my room now.”
I turn to head out, but he snags my arm and drags me back to him. He’s not touching me anywhere but the grip on my arm. It’s not as tight as the hold he had on my wrist before, but still iron, with no give. “What is stupid?”
Like I’m going to confess my plan to him. Not in a million years, not even if he tries to shake it out of me. “Nothing, you just looked like you were upset, is all.”
His forehead bunches up, and he looks so much younger without the perpetual scowl on his face. “I don’t need your pity or comfort. The only time I care for a woman’s company is when she is on her knees.”
That’s an opening if I ever heard one. I blink and look down at the floor, knowing what I have to do next. I slowly sink down to the rug in front of Nicolo’s desk. “I can do that.”
I think more in shock than permission; he lets me get all the way to the floor. Just as he hauls me back up again, Nicolo walks into the office at a slow and steady amble.
Oh, god. I am so fucked.
“Am I interrupting?” he asks, studying us, especially me, still mostly kneeling in front of his brother.
I surge to my feet and gently tug my arm from Lucas’s grasp. “No, of course not. I was just putting the firewood away like you asked.”
Lucas’s expression is unreadable. A cross between you’re a fucking idiot, and how did I end up in this situation.
Nicolo turns his attention to his brother, who’s already flexing his fists at his sides. “Anything you want to tell me, brother?”
He snorts and shrugs. “Just the usual. Go fuck yourself, and I’ll see you at dinner.”
When he tries to walk out, Nicolo grabs him by the shirt and flings him back in front of him. I scramble out of the way, so I don’t get caught between them. Nicolo and his brother remind me of a bull and a red flag. The outcome can never end well.
Nicolo has his brother’s shirt bunched in his hands while he leans in with a growl, “Thought you’d take my girl for a test drive?”
I don’t like how the way he says my girl slips through me, warming up in places I’d tried to ice over with indifference.
Lucas shakes his head and shoves Nicolo off him. “I don’t want a fucking thing to do with her. She’ll be gone tomorrow. By the way, thanks for letting me know you set the date, asshole.”
Nicolo looks ready to throw a punch, and I cower behind his desk chair, something like guilt slithering through me. I’d dragged Lucas into this, and now he was going to get punished for it. Shit. I step out from behind the chair and approach Nicolo. “It wasn’t what it looked like. I wanted someone to take my virginity. I was trying to seduce him.”
Both men turn to stare at me with slacked jaws. Nicolo recovers first, turns, and shoves his brother toward the door. “Get out.”
Lucca shakes his head and walks out the door.
Then
Nicolo’s focus is on me, and I’m left swallowing my tongue. “I’m sorry. After this morning, I was angry, and I felt like you used me. It was a half-baked plan at best. Lucas didn’t show a single bit of interest in me.” I know I’m digging myself a grave, but for some stupid reason, I want him to know that his brother didn’t show a lick of interest.
Nicolo stalks forward until he’s inches from my face. “You’re trying to protect him? Why?”
I wave at the door. “It wasn’t his fault. I didn’t want you to hurt him because of something I did.”
A new fire flashes in his eyes, and I reflexively back away until my hip meets the edge of his desk, and I have nowhere else to go.
“You were trying to lose your virginity so the auction wouldn’t pay out as much. Was that your plan all along, stellina?”
I shrug, refusing to meet his eyes now. When he says it, I feel even more idiotic. “I had hoped it was Soo, I could seduce, but Lucas showed up first.”
Now he laughs. He throws his head back and laughs at me. Actually laughs. All the anger I’d been feeling fires through the guilt, and I shove him away. “You don’t get to mock me. Not when you’re the one who’s about to sell me like a pig being sent off to the butcher.”
He growls and charges at me again. I quickly fish out the fountain pen from behind my back and uncap it. He won’t touch me without my permission again.
“Soo would have wiped the floor with you and left you in a whimpering puddle without ever having touched you. He’d also never betray me because he knows what this auction means to me.” He leans in and places one hand on either side of the desk, boxing me in.
I shove at him with my shoulder, but he doesn’t budge. All over again, I’m trapped. I raise the fountain pen and jab it as hard as I can into the center of his hand that’s placed along my right hip.
He jumps back with a hiss, and I do the only logical thing I can do. I race toward the door, knowing that this might be the moment he actually kills me.
22
