by Saylor Bliss
Never like this.
"Hey, baby. It's not your fault," I reply, pulling her to her feet and into my arms.
I don’t care that my shoulder is throbbing, and right this second, it feels like it's about to fucking fall off. I need to hold her close. I need to feel her body against mine and let her know that everything is going to be okay.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Skila
People are rushing around everywhere.
I don’t know what happened.
One minute, Camryn was fine and things were going smoothly, and then he snaps. Blood covers the floor, puddling around my feet. I think he split his head open. I’m not sure. One of the orderlies lifts Cam to his feet and another offers support. He is dazed and disoriented, but his gaze latches onto me.
“Sky?” he asks, glancing around the room.
It's almost like he doesn't recall anything that happened in the last few minutes—hell, maybe even the last day or longer, it's hard to tell. Kiptyn is talking to the receptionist at the counter. His hands are flying through the air while he speaks, and I can tell from here that he’s getting angrier by the second, but I don't know why. My stomach rolls again, and I retch. Nothing comes up. I’ve already lost the contents of my stomach. I have nothing left to give.
“Sky?” Cam asks again. His voice is gaining an edge of hysteria to it that worries me. I don't want him to freak out again, but I don't know how to keep it from happening either.
“Yeah, Cam?” I ask, taking short, shallow breaths. I ignore the blood on the soles of my shoes. Someone is working at cleaning it all up right now, but each step I take closer to Cam leaves bloody foot trails. These people are going to hate us before we even get him checked in.
“What’s going on, Sky? Where are we?”
“Do you not remember anything, Cam? We’re at the mental hospital. You need help, Cam.”
His eyes dart around the room as he takes a step back from me. Hurt and betrayal cross his eyes before he shuts down in front of me again. I watch as the shutters come down, closing off all emotion. Kip walks up behind me at that moment and places his hand on the small of my back.
“We have a problem,” he says.
“What?”
Good Lord, I can't handle any more problems tonight. I need to go home and relax. I'm not even supposed to be out of the bed right now. Bed rest does not include chasing my boyfriends’ brothers across the house or calling the police or driving to the mental hospital. This is too much.
“Apparently, I can't sign him in here. I need two signatures to admit him. We both have to be related to him, and unless he decides to stay on his own, we have to take him back with us.”
“No. No. No. He needs this, Kip.”
“I know, Sky.”
“I’ll stay,” Camryn says, surprising us both.
I forgot he was standing there, so when he spoke up, I jumped into the air and almost slipped and fell on my ass thanks to the water and blood on the floor. Kip just stares at his brother, unsure of what to say. Neither of us expected him to be willing to stay after the way he reacted when we brought him in the front door.
“Great. That's really good, Cam. I’m proud of you.” I say, because I feel like someone needs to say something.
“I need to talk to Skila alone for a minute before I sign in,” Cam says, looking at Kip for permission. Kip glances at me, asking me if it's okay. I shrug my shoulder, and then Kip nods to his brother and walks away, leaving me alone.
“I'll stay on one condition, Skila. I want you to promise me that you will sign the termination papers and that you will file them tomorrow morning.”
The air in my lungs evaporates. I never expected this, not in a million years. I still don't understand why he is so adamant about not being a part of his own child's life. It breaks my heart to even think about it.
“Why, Camryn? Why do you not want to be a part of his life? I don't get it.”
“I do, Sky. I'll always be a part of his life, but not as his father. I can’t be that man right now. If you look at this with your mind and not your mother's heart, you’ll see that I'm not what is best for him. I can't even take care of myself right now. I need you to do this for me. I need to know that he’s taken care of so that I can focus on me. Please, Skila.”
Silent tears are streaming down my face when he finishes. I never thought about how he felt and what he needed. I was only concerned with why he didn't want my baby. I understand now.
“Okay, I'll do it, but you promise me that you’ll be there for him when you get better,” I say, choking back a sob.
“I promise, Sky. Thank you so much for this, for everything. He’s such a lucky little boy to have you as his momma.”
As he pulls me in for a hug, I let go of all the anger and hurt I’ve felt for Cam. A weight is lifted off me, and for the first time in over seven months, I can breathe again. I have hope for a future that I didn't have before. Camryn releases me and walks me back to Kip, who is standing next to the burly looking nurse.
“Take care of her, brother. She’s one in a million,” he says, pulling Kip in for a tight, brotherly hug.
“I will, bro, always. You go get better and come back home.”
“That's the plan, man.”
Camryn finishes his paperwork, and the nurse leads him through the double doors. I wave bye one last time and then take Kip’s hand and walk back out of the hospital. I'm beyond ready to get home, take a shower, and then crawl into bed. This day has been hell. Pure flipping hell, but that's okay. It was also great. Kiptyn found out his brother was alive. That thought alone makes my heart sing. Even though Camryn came back a different person than he was when he left, he’s alive and he’s getting the help he needs to become the person he needs to be once again. I meant what I said earlier. I'm proud of him.
It’s going to take a lot of getting used to, having him back around. I had just gotten used to the idea of his being gone, and now he’s back. I still can’t believe it. So far, the only thing we’ve learned is that Cam wasn’t on the Humvee, but it still doesn’t make sense. Why did they tell us he was dead if they didn’t have proof? Do those bombs destroy everything so badly that they just assume everything and everyone is gone? And where was he for the last few months? One thing is for certain: for every question we’ve answered, another ten have replaced it. I don’t know if we’ll ever have all the answers we need or want, but we have Cam, and that’s what really matters. A lot of families don’t get their soldiers back.
“Let's go home, baby.” Yes, let's go home.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Kiptyn
Skila is in the shower, washing away the day's exhaustion. I want to join her, but I think we both know better than to push our boundaries. Even though we’re both exhausted, there is no way I'd be able to keep my hands off her if I stepped in that shower with her. Besides, there’s something much more important that I need to handle right now.
Lighting the last of ten candles, I set them all around the bedroom, illuminating the space with soft lighting. I turn on Spotify and play some slow music on the lowest volume possible. I don’t want the music to take away from what I need to say to Skila, but simply to add a romantic feel to the room. I hear the shower shut off a moment later, and Sky steps out wrapped in nothing more than a silk robe. She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life.
“What’s all this?” she asks, looking around the room. I know she’s beyond tired, and I want to lay her down in bed and let her sleep for ages, but I need to talk to her first.
“Sky, my beautiful, amazing Sky. Come here, baby. Let me talk to you.” I pull her closer to me, easing her down on the bed. She reclines against the pillows and looks up at me, questioning me with her chocolate eyes.
“Tonight, I was scared to death. I was terrified I was going to lose you. I didn't know what was happening, and my only thought was fuck . . . I’ve never told her I love her. Skila, I may not be the best person
in this world, and I'll make my share of mistakes, but the one thing I can promise you is that not a day will go by that I'll not love you.”
“I love you too, Kiptyn. I have for a while now. I was just afraid of pushing you away if I told you. I should have had more faith in you.”
“Come here, baby. Let me hold you.”
I pull her closer to my side, relishing the feel of her body against my own, and all of a sudden, I see things perfectly clear. I can't believe I never thought of this before now.
“I never want to be without you again. I don't know how I survived a day before you. I feel like my every breath comes straight from you. Marry me, Skila. Marry me.”
“Kip, are you serious?”
“Yes. Marry me. Plan whatever you want for the wedding, I don't care, but I want you to be my bride as soon as possible. Two weeks from today? Say yes, Skila,” I beg her. I need to make her my wife. I need to have her as mine. All mine, forever.
“Yes. Yes, Kiptyn.” She throws her arms around my neck, squeezing the life from me.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Skila
I snuggle up in the fuzzy blanket, thinking about all that had transpired. I find myself humming Love and Marriage—you know, from Married with Children—and giggle to myself. I close my eyes and smile, feeling the soft fluttering of my son turning what feels like cartwheels in my belly. I'm lost in the moment when I feel the bed dip a bit. I turn to find Kip smiling widely. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Well, I was thinking about the nursery. I think we should go with a more neutral color. I know you had your heart set on blue, but what happens when we decide we want another?" I can feel the blood beginning to flush my cheeks at the thought.
"You're jumping the gun a bit there, aren't you?"
"No. Just thinking ahead. You never know what fate has in mind for us." I'm speechless, which is rare.
"Kiptyn, how about we make it through this one before we talk about more? Besides the nursery, we have a wedding to plan."
"About that. I think my grandma has her heart set on setting all that up."
"When did you tell her?"
"About five minutes ago. I thought you were sleeping." I can't help but smile.
"You know my nana is crazy, but I bet she'd like to put her two cents in." Kip nods and wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him.
"You know, I meant everything I said, and I couldn't be happier."
"I know. Now quit changing the subject. I think a cute multi-sports theme would be adorable for the baby's nursery."
"I'm cool with sports," he says, kissing my cheek.
"Good, so it's decided then?"
"Umm . . . not exactly."
"What does that mean?"
"I have a designer coming tomorrow to talk to you."
"What? Kip, I want us to do it. I don't want some stranger trying to tell me what my baby needs."
"Baby, chill. I can cancel, you know. I just figured with the wedding and all, you might need some help."
"Well I guess some help would be nice, but no pushy broad. I'm hormonal and would rather not go to prison for snapping. I might only be five foot four, but my attitude is six foot three," I reply, realizing I sound utterly insane. He bites his lip to hide the grin that threatens to cross his lips.
"I love you, Skila. Every little crazy thing you say makes me fall more every day." He snuggles up against me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "So, are you ok with your nana and my grandma planning this wedding? She said she would run everything by you first, but she does tend to go overboard."
I smile and shake my head. "It's fine, but Nana is a bit . . . how do I put this mildly? Wild."
"Wild, you say?"
"Yeah, she likes the Henny and devil’s tobacco quite a bit."
"I can't wait to meet her. I bet she's fun," he whispers before placing a soft kiss on my shoulder.
"You know, I never imagined you to be so sweet. It’s almost surreal to be here with you holding me."
"Believe me, baby, I'm real. I'm here, and I have no intentions of going anywhere."
I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I'm allowing myself to relax and melt into him as I drift off into a peaceful slumber.
A stinging sensation in my side rouses me, and I look at the clock. Three in the morning. I softly curse under my breath as I shift to adjust my torso and to alleviate the pain.
"You ok?" Kip asks groggily.
"Yeah. I think. My side is burning, and my leg feels numb," I reply, sitting up slowly and rotating my ankle, trying to bring the feeling back. He jumps up and crawls off the edge of the bed, turning on the lamp and sitting at my feet.
"Are you sure you're ok? Your ankles are swollen pretty badly."
"Yeah. They are, but that's not what's bothering me. Would you rub my side? Please?"
He nods and stands up, leaning over me and softly stroking my side. I groan, and he pauses. "You know, you really shouldn't make those noises. Do you know what that does to me?" I laugh, because it’s pretty damn obvious.
"Yeah. I know. Sorry. It was almost an instant relief."
"How about I draw you a warm bath?" He asks, a sly grin creeping across his face.
"Sure, but no funny business. You know what the doctor said."
"Yes. I know. I'll try to behave, okay?"
"Fine. I'll waddle in there in a minute." He laughs and rubs my belly before taking off to the bathroom. Standing up, I slowly make my way to the bathroom. The smell of lavender begins to permeate the room. I step in to find the tub filled with bubbles and rose petals and the soft flicker of candles lighting the room
"Why, Mr. Price, are you trying to spoil me?" I blurt out with a giggle.
"What if I am? You’re mine, baby, forever and always. If there is ever anything I can do or give you to help you, then I will. I promise you that."
"Thank you. You’re too good to be true," I reply, dropping my robe to the floor. My shadow dances across the wall, and I realize just how big my belly has gotten.
"Looks like you have a basketball stuffed in there," he says with a wink.
"Asshole," I mutter as he helps me into the tub. The warm, fragrant water envelops me, and I can feel every muscle in my body turn to mush. Kip craws into the oversized tub and sits behind me, pulling me against his chest. I can feel his attraction for me pressed against my back, but he doesn’t try to seduce me. Instead, he soaks the loofah in my favorite fragrance and gently rubs it along my shoulders and down my arms. When he’s done washing my body, he pulls me back against him and wraps his arms around me, cradling me safely between his long legs. I rest my head against his chest and let the water relax my muscles and ease the pain in my side.
“I love you, Kip.”
“I love you more.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Skila
Two weeks fly by. I’m glad we decided not to wait any longer before getting married. At the rate this baby is growing inside of me, I wouldn’t have been able to find a sheet that fit me in another week or two. Staring at myself in the mirror, I sigh. "I look like a damn beached whale . . . and why am I wearing white? I’m clearly not the traditional virginal bride."
"You look fantastic. I hope when my day comes, I look half as beautiful as you." I half-smile at my reflection and shake my head.
"Lisa, you will be beautiful, there is no doubt about that. You always have been and always will be."
She grins and hugs me tightly before stepping back and pushing me toward the chair at the vanity. I’ve given her free reign over my hair and makeup today. Usually, it's something my mother would be here for, but I don’t have that luxury. She passed away six years ago from stage-four breast cancer. The hole her absence left in my heart was wide and gaping, unfillable, but over the years, I’ve managed to bear the pain better and better.
Today is a struggle, and not just for me. I know it’s hard for Kiptyn too. We are being married two weeks after hospitalizing his brother, his
best friend, who up until two weeks ago, he’d thought was killed in a suicide bombing in Israel. I know he wants Camryn by his side during the ceremony, but it isn’t possible right now.
Maybe later, we can have another more elaborate wedding, not that we would need it. As far as I’m concerned, the wedding doesn’t matter at all. The marriage is the important thing. We’re having the wedding for our friends and family so they won’t feel left out, and I’m glad we are, but the real test isn’t the ceremony and how many flowers we have, or what food is served. It comes later, when times get tough and we want to run in the opposite direction of each other. It will happen. I know that.
Every family goes through something similar, but what makes a healthy marriage is the way they handle those situations. I refuse to ever walk away. I'll stand by his side for the rest of my days, through the good and the bad.
Lisa tugs my hair tight, weaving a light blue ribbon through the mass of silky brown locks. The ribbon was given to me by Kiptyn’s granny. She said it had been his mother's when she was a little girl. I burst into tears when she offered it to me, my hormones getting the best of me. It amazes me how openly she has accepted me into her family and her heart.
“I’m so sorry. My hormones are crazy,” I try to say.
She wasn’t affected by my tears one bit.
“Oh, sweetie, this is just the beginning. That little boy will be walking on your heart for years to come, but it's worth every scuff mark,” she said, pulling me into a comforting embrace. I stand there, letting her hold me. I could pull away if I want to, but something about her calm nature comforts me. I smile into the mirror, remembering.
Lisa looks up, meeting my eyes, and she smiles back at me, "So, I’ve been meaning to ask . . . does anyone else know?"
She gazes down at my stomach, and I know what she’s asking. She wants to know if we have told anyone else that the baby is not Kip’s. I thought about it. Hell, I tried to bring it up to Kiptyn, but with everything going on right now, it’s just not the right thing to do.
