by Shae Scott
Maybe this chick was doing something right.
Maybe I should try my hand at writing fiction. Correction-- Romance. I was a great writer. Well, I was a great news writer. But I had a healthy sex life, a fine collection of porn, and one hell of an imagination. Why couldn't I write something that would have ladies swooning?
Turns out, it was fun. Turns out, I was pretty good at it. It was like taking countless women on an epic fantasy and I got to pretend to be their hero. I didn't believe in any of that love shit, or happily-ever-afters in real life, but they were a necessity in the world of make believe so I mastered them too.
I self published my first steamfest six months later. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but it sold like crazy. Now, I'm writing all the time, attending book signings and book conventions, and getting laid like a motherfucker. Crazier things have happened. And now, as I scan this crowded room of panting ladies I just have to decide who I want to take back to my room with me tonight.
The moderator called the room to attention and I settled in to answer questions about sex in romance. I was pretty comfortable in front of people. Crowds didn't bother me. And even sitting here in front of all of these women, the idea of talking about sex just seemed like par for the course. I wondered how many of them I could make blush with my answers. I chuckled to myself at the thought and Red glared at me from the corner of her eye. She was definitely bitter.
"Take this seriously," she hissed.
"I always take sex seriously. I'm sure you remember just how serious I take it, don't you?" I gave her a smirk and took great satisfaction when she scowled and fidgeted uncomfortably.
This was going to be fun.
I DIDN'T SEE her until her friend asked a question. They were sitting towards the back of the room, but how I'd missed her I couldn't understand. She stood out like a beacon. Her hair was the color of dark caramel, shiny and long, hanging over her shoulders and resting on the swell of her breasts. I saw her cheeks pink up as she glanced over at her friend in surprise. Obviously, the thought of asking a question in the middle of this crowd did not appeal to her. I tried to focus my attention on the brunette next to her, as I was pretty sure her question was directed to me, but my gaze was locked on her friend. It's not like she was even dressed provocatively. She was in jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt that read ‘Book Nerd’ but she had a sense of simple grace and -- fuck me I was starting to sound like one of my books. I shook my head and focused in on the girl asking the question.
"Do you ever get turned on when you are writing steamy scenes?" The crowd laughed and she smiled, impressed that she'd asked an interesting question.
I gave her a smirk and leaned forward on the table, locking my gaze with hers. "Only if I'm doing it right," I smiled. I gave her a wink and then stole a glance at her friend again. Her cheeks were crimson. I liked that she was embarrassed by her friend. I was intrigued by her. It's too bad she seemed so shy. She probably wasn't the kind of girl to go upstairs with a stranger. Shame. She could have made a perfect muse. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, even as the moderator thanked everyone for coming.
The crowds started to converge on the tables, everyone wanting to say hi or get a book signed. I lost her in the crowd as the group in front of me got bigger.
"Hi. It's so cool to meet you. I've read all of your books. Do you think you'll give Jake and Felicia their own book?" I smiled at the woman in front of me. She had a copy of my latest title in her hands and was handing it over for me to sign.
I glanced over her shoulder and saw the person I’d been waiting for; a curtain of caramel silk covering her face. I wished she would toss her hair back so I could get a better look at her. Her friend caught my eye and gave me a wave. "Thanks for the answer. It was very revealing," she smiled. I watched as Book Nerd grabbed her friend's sleeve and tugged her forward.
"Anytime. Leaving so fast?" I threw them what I was sure was a charming smile. I wanted them to wait. I wanted to talk to her quiet sidekick, but she didn't seem interested in the idea at all. In fact, she barely gave me a glance as she said something under her breath.
"Sorry, we have to be somewhere. Great panel though. Love your books," she threw back at me while being dragged from the room.
Well, that didn't go well. I watched until they were out of sight before turning my attention back to woman in front of me. "Sorry,” I offered, giving her a smile. “I might revisit them. I always thought Felicia had a bit of a wild side to her. It might be fun to see what kind of trouble she could get into." I gave her a wink and she seemed to forgive my wandering eye.
I had signed a stack of books before Miles came and reminded me that we had to get going. I apologized to everyone I hadn't gotten to and promised to see them all again before the week was over.
We walked through the hotel hallways returning hellos from the people we passed and I listened as Miles gave me a rundown on the rest of the day’s schedule.
"You have to meet with Parker in fifteen. I told her we'd meet in her room. You won't get any work done if you do it in the bar. It shouldn't take long, she just needs you to approve and sign a few things. You have some free time this afternoon if you want to write or something, but we have to make an appearance at that shindig tonight. We have a table, so you can give out some swag or books or something," he said.
I grunted my approval as we reached Parker's door.
The last time I'd spoken to my agent she'd been giving me a hard time about my next project. I'd been having trouble getting it to come together and I knew she was going to be pushing me for answers. I didn't feel like dealing with her today. I knew she was trying to shop things around and I wasn’t making that easy when I couldn't tell her what direction I was going. She said I exasperated her. I'm sure I wasn't her easiest client, but she stuck around. She had for years. We fought like siblings, but like Miles, she usually shot me straight and that was a quality I liked.
I was preoccupied as I sat across from her. She was attempting to go over some offer for foreign rights, but I wasn't really listening. "What's wrong with you?" she snapped.
"Nothing," I said.
She sighed and leaned back in her chair, studying me. I hated when she tried to examine me. She'd been a psychology minor and liked to pretend she could figure me out.
"How's the book coming along?" she asked.
"It's coming," I said, meeting the gaze she leveled at me.
"Can I read it yet?" she asked.
"Nope,” I smiled. I watched as her eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.
"Keaton, you have got to get your shit together. I know you think you can just cruise by and do everything at your own pace and on a whim, but this is your business. You need to take it seriously and let me do my job," she said.
I leveled my gaze at her, holding it until her eyes flitted away. "Look, I get it. Let me get through this week and then I'll be your golden boy, okay?"
She huffed. What could she do? I'd get her what she needed eventually. She worried that I was stuck. Blocked. She couldn’t understand that I was just busy. Maybe she was right; maybe I needed to buckle down. But I had a new release coming out in just over a month. It was done and ready.
"I'm not a factory. I'm still going to write what I want and until I'm happy with it, you'll just have to wait,” I smiled at her scowl. “Don't frown, you'll get wrinkles on that pretty face," I teased.
"Flattery won't get you anywhere with me," she scowled.
"Oh, trust me I learned that one a long time ago. Don’t worry, Park, I'll get you what you need."
She released a breath and I knew her temper had faded. She was never really angry with me, but her frustration with me was pretty constant. It's a good thing I made her a lot of money or she'd probably drop me.
"Let's meet next week," she offered.
I nodded and stood. "It's been a pleasure." I gave her my best sexy smirk, because I knew that she hated it. Well, she hated it when I used it on her; she loved it when I used it at sig
nings and such. Which is exactly why I’d done it. I couldn't help it; I liked to piss her off.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE you asked Keaton Harris if he got turned on writing sex scenes," I said as we filed out of the room and headed downstairs to the hotel lobby. Lily laughed at me and slipped her arm through mine.
"Hey, I wasn't going to let that panel go by without talking to him. He is freaking hot. Did you see his eyes? Shit."
"He's good looking. But he knows it. No thank you. You can tell he's arrogant as hell." I said. No matter how good looking that man was, I was not going to be jumping on the Keaton Harris bandwagon. He had plenty of ladies running around this hotel looking for him. I was not going to be one of them.
"Maybe. But his books are good. You've read them all, don't pretend that you haven't," she pointed out.
"I have. That doesn't mean I have to join his fan club just because he has abs."
"Fuck. Did you see his abs? I should have asked if I could come up and touch them. You think he would have let me?" she asked.
I laughed, "Probably."
"Damn. If I see him again I'm gonna ask him." I had no doubt that she would indeed do just that. And he'd let her because the girl was gorgeous and she was most certainly not a wallflower. Hell, knowing Harris’ reputation he'd probably invite her back to his room. Rumor was he was quite the playboy.
"Loosen up, Quinn. Live a little. You have to take chances now and again. Make it count," Lily said. Lily's motto in life was to capture every moment, never let an opportunity go by. She'd lost her mother when she was seven and the loss had left her wanting to wring as much life out of every moment that she had. I admired that about her, but I was usually more comfortable hanging back and letting her take the spotlight. It's not that I was shy as much as I would rather sit back and observe. You could learn a lot from the edges. It drove Lily crazy. She wanted to be in the middle of everything and she did her best to make sure that she took me along with her every chance she got.
"We should go down to the lobby bar. I hear there were a lot of authors hanging out down there between sessions. Maybe we can get a few books signed," I suggested. I had brought a pile of books from my library and I was anxious to get to meet some of my favorite authors while I was here.
"Sure, I could use a glass of wine anyway. We can have a drink or two and then go and get ready for dinner and the party tonight," Lily agreed. This conference was huge. The days were full of panels on every subject imaginable. And the nights were filled with mixers and parties. I loved it. It was like being on vacation with thousands of like minded people. No one in this crowd would judge you for always having your nose stuck in a book. They would applaud you and call you an instant friend.
We made our way to the hotel lobby bar. No surprise, it was packed with people. The hotel carried a constant hum everywhere you went. You could feel the energy vibrating in the air. Usually things like that made me nervous, but here it felt different. I wanted more of it. It energized me.
"Look, those girls are leaving. Let's snag their table," Lily said pulling my arm. I followed her, glancing around the room for familiar faces. I threw my bag of books on the floor beside me and took the seat against the wall where I had prime viewing advantage.
I hadn't really known what to expect from this week. Sure I had read the pamphlet and researched it to death. There were thousands of people in attendance and each day came with a full schedule of options geared to readers, bloggers and writers alike. They covered every topic imaginable. There was so much to do that trying to make out my agenda on what to attend had about given me a panic attack because I couldn't figure out how to be in multiple places at one time. Lily was perfectly content to drift in and out of each one.
Now that I was here the reality of it was so much more. It was constant activity. Aside from all of the panels you had parties and social events and entire rooms set up where you could go and browse books. People were always giving you something. It was overwhelming and wonderful.
Sitting in this bar was just more of the same. Authors meandered through, signing books and chatting with readers. People gathered in circles in heated debates over their favorite characters. I couldn't help the giggle that erupted from my lips as I took it all in.
"What's funny?" Lily asked smiling.
"This. This experience. I'm in love," I admitted.
She laughed with me. "Just wait until I drag you to that party with all the hot male cover models," she warned.
I laughed, "Just don't grab anyone's ass. I don't want to get thrown out of here too soon."
"You take away all my fun. First you pull me away from Keaton Harris and now this," she pouted.
"Hey, I'm just doing you a favor. Someone needs to keep you out of trouble," I said.
"Yeah, well someone needs to find some to push you into," she shot back. I laughed and raised my glass to cheers.
I HAVE BEEN thinking about the girl from the panel all afternoon. The one I didn’t even talk to. The one that would barely look at me as she practically ran from the room. There was something charming about her and the way the blush had hit her cheeks and the shocked horrification in her eyes as her friend had stood beside her. The memory was distracting. I’d been scanning the crowds for her, but so far I hadn’t seen her or her friend again. I should have tried harder to stop them when they were leaving.
Why did I even care? It's not like anything was going to happen, not with someone like her. Still, I found myself wondering what her voice sounded like. Usually, I only cared about things like that when the girl in question was screaming out my name as I drove one home. But with this mystery girl, I kept imagining what she would sound like telling me hers. I shook the thought away; I was starting to sound like one of those sappy assholes in my books again. I needed to put the whole thing out of my mind and find a distraction at this party. If I was required to attend I might as well go home with a door prize.
I grabbed a beer from the mini fridge and sprawled out on the couch in my suite.
"Yo, Keaton, grab me a beer," Miles called out from one of the bedrooms. I scowled.
"Get out here and get your own goddamn beer. What are you even doing in there?" I yelled out. He came out holding two ties, wearing a button down shirt and his boxers.
"Which one do I wear?" he asked holding up one tie and then the other. I rolled my eyes.
"I don't care what you wear," I said.
"I know you don't care. But the ladies downstairs will. What do you think, dark and mysterious or aloof playboy?" he asked.
"You do realize that you are completely full of shit don't you?" I took a swig of my beer and Miles flipped me off.
"Just because you can walk in the room and nail any pretty little thing you see by flashing your smile and dropping your name doesn't mean you can't play wing man once in a while. I don't come on these trips with you because I like to collect bookmarks and lip balm with some naked dude on it," he pointed out.
I laughed. Miles had been tagging along for the past three years. He was my little brother and two years younger than me. It was nice having him around. He was the balance I needed when I was in all of the crazy. I think he was just in it to travel and get laid, but it was fine. I guess in a way I was too.
"You should get ready too. We're supposed to be downstairs in like twenty minutes," Miles suggested as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and then moved back towards his bedroom.
I wasn't in any hurry. I'd get there eventually.
"Did you see that girl who asked the question at the end of the panel today?" Miles yelled out from his room. That caught my attention. I waited for him to continue. I felt my pulse thrum as it picked up speed, which was ridiculous.
"She was hot. I wonder if she'll be at the thing tonight. I'm calling it. Stay away from her."
Shit. He said the girl who asked the question, right? I'd been so focused on the girl sitting next to her that I couldn't picture her. "Which one was she?" I asked. I ignored the way my voice sou
nded, coming out gruff and tense.
Miles came out fully dressed this time. "Are you really wearing a tie?" I asked, suddenly annoyed at the thought that he may have just lain claim to the girl who had been invading my thoughts all day.
"Shut up, jackass. You’re supposed to dress up. Didn't you read the agenda?"
"Whatever. Which girl are you talking about?" I asked again.
"Oh. The brunette. She asked if you got turned on writing sex scenes," he said. I felt the air whoosh from my lungs. Instant relief. I pushed up from the couch suddenly feeling much better about the evening ahead.
"Oh yeah, she was cute. Might be a little too much for an amateur like you to handle though," I teased.
"Fuck you," he shot back.
I laughed and started towards my room to find something to wear. If Miles was going to scope out dark and twisty then I was going with him. I had a feeling Book Nerd would be with her and I wasn’t willing to watch her walk away a second time.
WE WALKED INTO the ballroom from the back entrance, so nobody really saw us. The organizers were trying something new and had given us each a table around the outskirts of the party so that we were accessible, but separated. Like zoo animals. I hated it. Tables were meant for signings. I wanted to mingle and talk to people. Wasn’t that the whole point of these things? I knew eventually I'd end up on the dance floor with everyone else. That’s when the real fun began. I loved getting to know all of the readers and attendees. It amazed me how invested they would become in the things that they read. The writer in me loved that. I loved that I could write something that made another person feel something. So it happened to make them feel hot and bothered and bang their husbands. Everyone was still a winner.
The only time I got uncomfortable was when they would go on and on about how amazing it was that I wrote about love and how beautiful it was. They were convinced that I was dreaming about fairytales right along with them. It took all I had sometimes not to tell them the truth. I just didn’t believe that love like that lived in the real world. Not anymore. But what good would that do? If they didn't believe in love they wouldn't believe in me or the words I put out there. So I let them keep their fantasy. But I didn't believe in it. I never would.
