by A. K. Koonce
A loud and proud sounding caw tears through the sweet animal’s lungs as his wings spread wide. That sound dwindles down to an adorable little squeak at the end as Minue takes flight. The wind catches his wings and he’s off in the matter of seconds.
An inky span of feathers rushes off with the quail and I look back to find the attic window open. Shadows lay heavily within the room and I can’t see the Prince there. He’s hidden away.
Just like the memory of his mother.
The sparrow and the quail rush off together; their caws and squeaks mingle together as they fly.
“Now what?” Chaos asks as he turns away from me, shielding his eyes with his hand as he watches the little animals grow smaller and smaller by the second.
A mischievous smile tips my lips. Without warning I leap, my legs clutching around his lean hips from behind. The strong muscles of his shoulders tense as he braces my weight against his back. A big hand settles against my thigh and I love the way he feels beneath me—steady and assured, protective of anything that might ever try to harm me.
His handsome face looks back at me with a smirk. Warmth blooms all through my chest at the sight of his simple smile.
“That’s really sweet and everything, but what exactly am I supposed to do?” Sinister’s constant carefree look of amusement isn’t in his eyes right now. There’s a strange look of uncertainty like I’ve never seen in his features.
Does he think I’d leave him behind?
“You’re a shifter. Just burst into a demon hawk and fly the hell out of here.” Rime is still very much set on Sinister being a shifter.
“I’m not a shifter.” Sinister raises his hands in explanation. “Shifters know how to use the animal’s gift that they’re given. I wouldn’t know how to fly any more than you’d know how to breathe fire.” He cocks a challenging brow at the ice dragon.
“Okay, I suppose that’s a fair point.” Rime’s features smooth as if he might smile but he never does.
“I think there’s enough room on one dragon for two people, Sin.” I pat Chaos’ back and the demon stares at the spot I just gestured to as if he’s trying to visualize himself there wrapped around Chaos.
“Plenty of room for Arlow’s ex-boyfriend, for sure.” Chaos nods and I’m not even sure if he’s kidding or not.
“He’s not my ex,” I whisper with awkwardness tinging my tone.
“That’s true. We never dated. Just friends.” A knowing smile pulls at Sinister’s lips. It’s a mixture of fondness and sadness and I hate the way I know what he’s thinking.
My heart hurts as it beats hard within my chest.
Kain passes Rime a look and the quiet exchange seems to throw everyone into action.
“Okay, that’s enough. We don’t have time for this.” Rime stalks forward and grips Sinister’s arm. The two stare at one another, meeting each other at eye level, but before Sinister can reply Rime is storming off with the demon in tow. “Let’s go, Dog boy.” Scales rip across Rime’s flesh, eating up his pale skin tone with a clicking sound. Wings burst from him and, in an instant, he’s soaring up into the sky. Sinister grabs for a hand hold against the smooth muscle of the dragon but there’s nothing there. He slides against Rime’s left wing, his legs dangling in the breeze.
I don’t even have time to process the change. The soft cotton beneath my fingers rips as the flesh turns to hard scales and Chaos takes off running in a blur of claws, wings, and sharp teeth. The air is knocked from my lungs. My fingers spread wide against his neck as the dragon rises higher and higher. Blue skies are all I see. Not even the clouds get in his way it seems. The tip of Chaos’ snout meets Sinister’s boot and he nudges the man up onto the back of the glistening white dragon.
An announcing roar shakes through the air. A mass of red scales rises between the two dragons. The beast blocks out the sun and shadows fall across us as Kain ascends higher until he’s just above the two men but slightly behind them.
It takes me a moment to realize, at his position, he can keep an eye on them both. On all of us.
Just like he always does.
My heartbeat settles into a calmer rhythm as I look over at my friend, safely seated just as I am.
“I think I would have liked riding with you better,” Sinister yells to me. The wind cuts off his words and I barely hear him.
Deep greens and reds and the burning color of near blooming autumn passes by below us in unappreciated beauty as I stare at him. I can’t help but imagine his hands on my hips as they were only once before. I imagine the hard press of his body against mine. I imagine the spiraling feeling of adrenaline his closeness would give me.
My shoulders sag and I relax just slightly as I consider it all. I felt all of that once before with him. It terrifies me that I want it again. We failed so epically in our past. I’m an idiot to think I’d want it again.
You’re not an idiot.
Chaos’ rumbling tone cuts through my thoughts and the simple caressing feel of his voice within my mind makes me lean into the comforting warmth of his dragon. I bury my face in his neck as I shield myself from the whipping wind.
He said I had to let him into my thoughts. When did I let him in? Is it because I trust him completely now? Or because I’m relaxed?
I still don’t know how to tap into his one-way bond. But I like listening to him. I like the feel of the unspoken connection he and I share.
Wanting to feel true love doesn’t make you an idiot, Low.
“What if I don’t know what that feels like,” I whisper on a breath so quiet the wind eats it up in less than a second.
A rumbling sound hums through his throat and I press myself closer to his hard scales. The beats of his wings slice through the winds with ease and the dragon keeps his pretty eyes focused on the tiny animals flying ahead of us. Warm sunlight hits my shoulder, highlighting the left side of Chaos’ inky scales.
I think you have. I think you know exactly what love feels like and you’re scared to admit it. You’re still afraid to give yourself all the things you deserve. You’re used to your life being hard and it feels scary that one single part of it might be completely simple. Love isn’t as difficult as you think it is, Low.
My lips part, taking in the cool breeze but not pushing a single word out. A beat passes and still I don’t have anything to say in response to his honesty. He’s always so much deeper than he is on the surface. His surface level humor and strength aren’t anything like the sweet softer side of him that he seems to show only me.
“How do you know, K? How do you know all that with certainty?” This is the second time we’ve had such a similar conversation. My fingers stroke back and forth against his scales and his amber eye looks back at me. The sliced line of his inky pupil dilates as he holds my gaze.
I just do, Low.
My heart becomes unsteady with a clash of confusing emotions. I keep my face buried in his neck and neither of us says another word as we follow after Minue and the sparrow on a slow trek to the south. The trees start to become few and far between. They dot the rolling hills here and there, but the empty expanse of fields is all that leads our way.
For hours, long into the night, we follow after that little guiding creature with nothing but blind hope.
Twenty-One
A Break
It’s late when we finally touch down for a break. With sparking magic that lights up the night sky, I relax the little animal that’s still trying to soar on into the distance. Minue’s soft feathers become tranquil as he makes lazy work of drifting down to land at my feet. He’s asleep the moment my palms scoop him up. I can’t say how much of his exhaustion is physical and how much of it is my magic coursing through his little body. The even breaths that fill him tells me that it was much need though.
The spying sparrow glides down without assistance from my magic. It settles on the only tree, choosing the lowest branch to keep his eyes fixed on me. I wonder what it sees. Am I as confident as I try to be? Am I as strong
as I pretend to be? Or am I still that weak little girl?
My shoulders straighten, and I force the reminder that I believe in myself back into place within my mind.
I stroke my fingers through the soft fur along Minue’s back and my eyes meet Kain’s. His lip curls just looking at the quail. My fingers tick just slightly and jeans, boots and shirts land in a heap in front of him.
The shifters start to pull on their clothes in silence. Sinister lowers himself down and, much like my own magic, he sparks a fire in the dirt. Without timber and without assistance, that fire glows red, bursting with heat that I feel deep in my bones.
“Come here, you have to be freezing.” He nods, waving his hand at the flames. The light splays shadows over his arms, making the ink along his forearms more mysterious. If I didn’t know nearly everything about him, I wouldn’t understand the small words that spiral up and down his arms like a painting with a hidden message within. The words curl and twist, making an image out of strung together letters.
I’ve never been able to read the words. He told me once that it’s the language of his ancestors. And the hundreds of words decorating his arms in turning and twisting letters means to aspire to be more than you were, to aspire to be more than you are, to aspire to be more than anyone ever believes you will be.
He has a reputation. No matter how much he ignores everyone around him, it doesn’t change what they think of him. He’s a deadly demon. It also doesn’t change how much he doesn’t believe what they think of him at all.
He’s more than just the blood boiling through his veins.
He always has been.
On quiet steps I settle against the dirt, resting the sleeping creature in my lap. Heat licks against my skin and I suddenly want nothing more than to sleep. Sinister takes a seat at my side and that tension that I’ve felt the entire time I’ve known him presses between us. It’s a tangible force that pushes and pulls at the small space that separates his body from mine.
Sparkling red eyes trail against my features as quiet whispers start to surround us. Kain’s tone is serious and gruff while Chaos’ is soothing and calm. And the silence Rime gives is all he needs to say. I can’t make out the words, but the discussion seems important.
“You think they hate me?” Sinister’s inky hair shifts as he nods toward the men behind us.
He’s younger than all of us. Five years younger than Rime. And yet, the two men don’t appear years apart. Their demeanors seem to close that age gape. The boyish smile Sinister has holds his youth.
“Would you care if they did?”
“Not one fucking bit.” His quick reply makes both of us smile into the deep crimson flames. His hands hang loosely over his bent knees. Dark boots, dark clothes, even darker hair, make him look like the devil had an affair with death itself and Sinister was the result. The sharp angles of his features always caught my attention, but they were something I could look at but not touch.
I could. I could touch him right now. He’s real and he’s right here next to me for the first time in five years.
And I don’t have the courage to reach out and experience the feel of his skin against mine. Too much time has passed. We’re different now.
“I don’t think they hate you.”
“Not everyone likes my charming fucking personality. This whole package, it’s a lot to take in, aye?” He motions to his face, the whole package. The dimples in his cheeks flutters my heart just looking at them. His teasing cockiness is hard to laugh at. Because he really is gorgeous.
Perfectly made.
“It must be hard being so humble.”
“Definitely.”
The smile in his smooth features slips away as he watches the flickering flames. He doesn’t meet my eyes even as he speaks. “What if you spend five years looking for Agatha?”
It’s a dark thought. One I’ve thought of myself, one we’ve probably all thought of. Only Sinister has the balls to say it though.
Would Agatha really survive five years with Kreedence? The memory of his power makes my stomach twist around itself.
“That’s not going to happen. She’ll be fi—”
“Fuck you, we’re not splitting up.” Chaos’ anger shakes through the night. Minue flinches in my lap, his little wings shuffling from the growling tone.
Kain’s jaw clenches closed and both men glare hard at one another. Rime’s palm settles against Chaos’ forearm with the smallest touch as he takes a step closer to the two men.
“You two need to keep your voices down,” the ice dragon warns as his attention trails over the darkness around us.
“What’s wrong?” I push against the soft dirt and make my way toward the three who are lingering in the shadows. They haven’t moved much since we landed. This break doesn’t seem to be much of a break for them at all.
Kain’s breath comes in angry heaps as he stares hard at Chaos. No one speaks for several seconds. Sinister’s arm brushes mine but he doesn’t interject.
Rime’s voice is low and ominous when he his words finally cut through the quietness.
“I grew up in the north. Far away from here. Chaos and Kain grew up on the opposite side of the continent. Their families are on the southern edge of the kingdom.”
That’s the most any of them have ever said about a specific location on their families. My lips part as I look from one man to the next. I still don’t understand.
“Kain thinks Minue is leading them home.” Rime’s words are gentle and calming.
My heart drops to the low into my stomach. I look to Kain and see nothing but fuming anger. Understanding echoes in my voice as I speak in an empty tone.
“He thinks Kreedence has his family.”
Twenty-Two
A Fragile Bond
Chaos refused to split us up. With a sleeping bird rodent tucked away into my satchel, we soar off into the night. My fingers shake against the white scales of the dragon beneath me. Sinister’s palm presses against my stomach and I’m not thinking about the way he feels pressed against me like I thought I would. All I can think about is how much I ruin life for everyone who comes in contact with me.
Not just with my lies, with my simple presence. What if I’m not blessed by the Goddess? What if I’m cursed?
What if something happens to their families? They tried so hard to keep them safe and I fucked it up right from the start. They’re in danger because of me.
Stop. This isn’t your fault, My Tamer.
My breath catches as Rime’s words caress my thoughts. He’s sweeter with my thoughts. There’s no undertone of anger in his voice right now. I peer over at Chaos as he keeps his gaze focused on the destination ahead. Kain soars above us, his long neck extended with a determined fierceness to his stance.
Close your eyes.
I blink against the cool wind before closing my eyes and settling my head against his neck.
Our bond is fragile. It’s new and unused. Relax your body and your mind will follow. You trust us. That’s enough to let us in. But to speak with us you must relax. Chaos’ mother always told me a bond didn’t have room for anger. It won’t allow it. Forcing your thoughts through the bond won’t work, Arlow.
I take a slow breath in and try to just ease the words I want to speak to him out.
How long have you been in my head?
A rumbling sound hums through the dragon and a hopeful part of me prays he can’t go too deep into my thoughts. What has he heard me say?
Not that I have anything to hide. I have chaste and innocent thoughts.
Mostly.
Not long. I was afraid it’d happen after last night.
He was afraid.
My heart sinks but I know what he means. It’s scary. Terrifying but exciting, I guess.
But it didn’t. We fucked and I watched you closely but it never clicked into place.
For some reason, that makes my heart hurt even more. The thought that I meant nothing to him hurts more than thinking I meant too muc
h to him.
I almost brushed it off. Then I saw you kiss Chaos. Overwhelming emotions slammed into me and all I wanted was to fucking wrap you up against me and never let you go.
Oh.
I like you with us. My dragon likes you with us.
Silence passes between us as I try to find a safe thing to say to him. He didn’t say he loves me. He didn’t confess his undying love for me.
But it’s still hard for me to accept.
You don’t have to panic about the bonds. But you should try to use them. With everything that’s going on with Kreedence, having a bond is an asset to us. Use the bond, Arlow. Strengthen it. Please.
Okay. I will.
I try to calm the hard beating of my reckless heart. I try to ease the tension by asking him a distracting question.
How much of my thoughts can you see?
I press the thoughts of my mouth against his skin to the front of my mind. I imagine my lips skimming down the hard lines of his chest. My tongue flicking lower and lower and lower.
A growl roars frosted air into the dark sky. Cold flakes of snow hit my skin in little droplets.
Don’t do that. You do not want to see an aroused dragon. It’s not a pretty sight, I promise.
My brows lower and I try not to dwell on what that image might look like.
Yeah. It’s fucking nightmarish.
Okay, I have made note never to do that. Thank you.
Laughter hums through my thoughts and it’s such a soft sound I don’t immediately realize it’s Rime’s. I’ve never heard him laugh.
It sounds pure. It’s a sound that blooms through my chest with warmth and comfort.
It fills me completely with a tingling calm.
Until familiar crimson light fires through the sky. It overtakes the small shining stars. It streaks a color of blood across the heavens. It flashes across my face, illuminating the terror that’s spreading over my features.
A weak whisper is all I have.
