by Alexis Anne
With a deep breath and a lot of emotions I was trying desperately to wrangle, I pulled the delicate necklace out and walked over to the mirror.
I didn’t take off my old necklace. Instead, I put the new one on and let them dangle around my neck side by side. Our past and our future. Our inner demons beside our outer façade. There was no telling where the next ten years were going to take us. Most of the time that idea thrilled me. It seemed so full of love and possibilities.
But sometimes it scared the crap out of me.
There was so much uncertainty. So many different ways our lives could unfold, and every day I was more connected to Jake.
Just as I tucked Jake’s envelope and box into my bag for the hotel, Jennie and Cassandra drifted into the room wearing gowns nearly identical to June’s. Jennie’s blonde hair was swept up into a bun while Cassandra’s dark hair was down in waves like June’s.
“Everything seems to be going well. We should be on schedule for the wedding of the year!” Jennie grinned at me.
I was apparently silly to think our fast wedding would turn off most potential guests. Instead, the opposite happened. Everyone was thrilled to help pull off our wedding and determined to be there to see it happen. It was overwhelming and I was definitely nervous about having such a big day.
Honestly, it had turned into a circus. January was the height of the busy tourist season on the islands, so most of the hotels were already booked. My parents called in every favor they could manage and found most of the guests somewhere to stay, the rest were staying off-island in Fort Myers. We’d hired cars and vans to ferry guests to and from their respective hotels to the house. We lived on an island—there was no way we were ever going to park three-hundred cars.
Guests were arriving in shifts so my parents arranged a pre-party. I could hear the soft sounds of the DJ playing music in the reception tent. There were party games, cocktails, and food.
Not that I cared about any of it.
All I cared about was marrying Jake.
And while I was nervous about the fuss everyone was making, I wasn’t the least bit worried about the monumental thing we were about to do. I knew without a doubt marrying Jake was right.
Cassandra flitted around to check my hair. “You’re perfect, Evie.”
I’d taken Jake at his word when he said he wanted to see me in a sexy white dress. “I hope Jake likes it.”
She and Jennie traded smiles. “Sister dear, I’m not sure if you know this, but your groom would love you in just about anything. He’s kind of got blinders on when it comes to you. I think he’d find you sexy in a garbage bag.”
She had a point. It wasn’t about the dress, though. Even I knew that. I wanted today to be perfect. Not for me, but for Jake. He said this wedding was for me, and it was, but it was also for him. There were very few nice, normal traditions in his life. Having a dream wedding was something I could give him. I wanted everything to go smoothly.
“Alright, we need to get you in that dress so we can start in on pictures.”
It wasn’t a hard dress to put on, but like everything else with this wedding, it was a process clouded with emotions.
As I wiggled into the backless dress with Cassandra on one side and Jennie on the other, I knew these memories were going to stay with me forever.
They stepped back and did that thing where they scrunched up their faces to stop the tears, but it didn’t work. Cassandra broke first and I was gonna blame it on her mommy-hormones, but Jennie was right behind her.
“Guys, come on. This is supposed to be a happy day. You’re starting to make me feel weird.”
Jennie hugged me. “You’re such an idiot sometimes. We are crying because we’re so happy we can’t keep it in.”
Cassandra was nodding her head vehemently. “So happy.”
That was when my mom walked in. She stopped dead in her tracks and clapped her hand over her mouth as she did the same face scrunchy thing.
“That’s it!” I yelled. “All three of you, downstairs. I’ll see you for pictures and nothing else. Send in June.”
I heard her telltale snicker from the hallway. “Move along criers, move along.” She waved them out of the room and shut the door. “I gotcha, no worries. Now, let’s make sure you are picture perfect.”
She and I went over my hair and makeup, double checked my dress and underwear, then she helped me into my flip flops. Yes, I said flip flops. I was getting married on the beach, it was either barefoot (which was my choice) or flip flops. I’d been talked into the shoes. Apparently it was “safer”. Something about no one wanting an emergency on my wedding day.
I argued the point that I never wore shoes outside of work and I’d live if I stepped on something, but I was overruled.
“It’s not too late to back out. I can smuggle you out the front.”
“June, what the hell? This is my wedding day and all you’ve done is act like—” I stopped and looked my baby sister up and down. Her eyes were sad, her shoulders slumped, and her smile was obviously forced. “Did someone break your heart?”
She shifted uncomfortably and looked away. June obviously had something happen to her and was trying to hide it with all the wedding chaos going on around her.
“Not exactly. I was an idiot, ok? I shouldn’t have been so stupid.”
I definitely didn’t like the sound of that. “Sit, tell me all about it.”
She glared at me and crossed her arms. “I’m supposed to get you downstairs in five minutes for pictures.”
“Then make it quick.” I stared her down with my very best Big Sister eyes. “Sit.”
She huffed, but sat down. “I’m telling you, I was stupid and I’ll get over it.”
“You don’t have to give me all the details, just explain why you’re hurting.”
She shifted around and all I wanted to do was hug her, but I knew June better than that. She would stiffen up and push me away. She’d put her guard back up and it would be the end of everything. So I resisted my sisterly urge to love her and gave her space.
“I got involved with someone I knew wasn’t available.”
“Married?”
She shook her head, “Oh, god no. Nothing like that. Just, not available for a relationship or feelings or anything like that. We agreed to just keep things light, we saw each other as friends and we were experimenting with some fun on the side…”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes and her cheeks flushed. “June, you’re a beautiful twenty year old woman. I’m not going to judge your choices. You are old enough to know what you need.”
She smiled a little and shrugged her shoulders. “Thanks. Bottom line, I knew better. I knew I liked him too much. Things got complicated and we had a huge fight before I left to come here.”
Now that she’d poured out her heart, I tackle hugged her. I wrapped my arms around her and tucked her head against my shoulder. “Boys are stupid. I’m sorry you had to come to my wedding when your own heart was hurting.”
June pulled away and wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. She hated crying as much as I did so I was surprised to see her so worked up. June must really like this guy. “Is there anything I can do? Any advice I can give? As you may or may not know, I’m kind of experienced at complicated relationships.” I was hoping the self-deprecation would help lighten things.
She looked around the room and shrugged. “Is it worth it?”
“Is what worth it?” I asked. This was a very important question and I didn’t want to misunderstand her.
“Relationships. I have friends and family... do I really need a relationship?”
“A funny question to ask on my wedding day.”
She smiled. “I’m cool like that. It’s a trick question designed to make sure you’re really ready to get hitched.”
The truth in her statement made me want to hug her until her heart stopped hurting, but I knew all too well it wouldn’t help. The only thing that helps heartaches like that is time.
<
br /> “June, life is a crazy bitch. There is nothing fair or easy about it. If you find someone who makes you hopeful even when there’s no hope, if he makes you want to be a better person, and if he is willing to give everything for your happiness, then yes. But anything less will just break your heart and bring you down. You need someone to weather the storm with, not be the storm. Life is going to get hard and when that happens, having someone at your side can make it easier to survive. So when you think you’re falling in love, step back and ask yourself, is he someone who will help you survive, or someone you have to survive.”
“I’m really happy you’re getting married to Jake.” She forced a smile onto her face, but I knew her words were genuine.
“Me too.”
Chapter 14
-Jake-
Greg and I were playing darts on the back porch when Tom walked up. “Can I steal the groom for a few minutes?”
“As long as you get him drunk,” Greg said with a shrug. “He’s far too sober for what he’s about to do.”
Greg could fuck off. I never could understand why he was always so intent on getting me drunk. “We can talk in here,” I replied, leading my uncle into the sitting room of Joe and Mara’s house. Eve and her family were off doing pictures in the garden and I’d been told to stay away.
The sitting room had tall windows on two sides overlooking the beach. There were two simple blue couches facing each other and two white arm chairs with a dark wood coffee table in the middle. China and antiques dotted the furniture and walls and heavy blue curtains hung around the windows.
I took a seat on the couch facing the door and Tom took the chair beside me. He leaned forward over his knees and clasped his hands together. “I just wanted to have a few minutes alone with you. I haven’t seen in you months, it’s been weird.”
Tom was always busy. It wasn’t as if I saw him all the time when I worked for him, but now I never saw him. “I miss you, too. But I don’t miss the work and I don’t miss the desert.” If I set foot in the Middle East ever again, it would be too soon. In fact, I didn’t think I ever wanted to visit another desert. I hoped that was ok with Eve.
“I don’t blame you. It was never your thing. In my defense, I tried to get you to leave for years.”
“That you did.”
I got the feeling Tom was working up to something. He wasn’t the most expressive man I’d ever met, he never minced words, but he typically got his point across.
“I have something I want to say—something I should have said a long time ago…” he paused, looking everywhere but at me before finally spitting it out. “I should have gotten you out of that house a lot sooner. I’m sorry.”
I never wanted or expected an apology like that from my uncle, so his words knocked me on my ass. “Don’t be ridiculous, you have nothing to apologize for.”
He looked right into my eyes. “I don’t want to debate this, son. This isn’t a heart-to-heart conversation. This is me telling you I’m sorry. I should have gotten you out of there sooner. Period. And that’s the beginning and end of this conversation.”
He stared me down, daring me to say another word, but I knew better than that. Tom said what he needed to say, and that was final. “Ok.”
He nodded once and took a deep breath. “Good. You’re a good kid and I’ve never wanted anything but the best for you. I’m very proud of you and the work you’ve done and I can’t wait to see what you and Eve do with your lives.”
I kind of strangely liked it when Tom called me “son”. I knew it was as much a general comment on my age as an actual endearment, but considering I’d disowned my real father and thought of Tom as my next best alternative, it felt good to hear.
“Thank you, sir.”
“So don’t fuck it up.” He said it so bluntly.
“Trust me, I won’t,” I replied slowly. I really wasn’t sure where Tom was going with this.
He cracked his neck and rubbed his palms together before replying. “Look, Greg told me what’s going on with Ashley. You need to put her on the next plane to Timbuktu, not sit in meetings talking to her.”
This was about Ashley? Well at least it was something manageable. “We are all adults. I can handle her just fine, sir.”
Tom rolled his eyes. “I’m not questioning your ability to handle her, Jake. I’m asking why you are bothering with it.” He sighed and ran his free hand through his short hair, swearing under his breath. “Why is she here? Appearing out of nowhere with no warning? Pushing a business deal? Nothing but trouble will come out of having her in Tampa.”
It was one thing to listen to Greg complain about Ashley, but it was quite another to hear it from Tom. My uncle didn’t sit around talking about the weather. If he was bringing it up it was because he was genuinely concerned.
And if Tom was genuinely concerned then I needed to stop and really listen to what he had to say, whether I liked it or not.
And I really didn’t like it.
He sighed, looking like saying this was about as much fun for him as it was for me. “I think you’re giving her a free pass now because you feel bad for her. But she’s not you, Jake. She’s more damaged than you ever were. Most of us can’t get knocked down and get right back up. But you can. No matter how many times you got knocked down, you always got back up. For you, there is, and always will be, a solution. It is who you are and nothing, not even your dad, could change that. But Ashley isn’t like you. She’s different. And her past has ruined her. Having her near you is toxic, but having her around your new life—and the woman who is about to become your wife—is simply not worth it.”
Tom was absolutely right about one thing: Ashley was more fucked up than I was. But I found it hard to write her (or anyone else) off as a lost cause. I always sympathized with her because, like me, her past wasn’t her choice. We were both trying to find a way to survive a life we didn’t ask to live. But was having her in Tampa toxic? I couldn’t imagine anything coming between me and Eve, certainly not a few days of Ashley.
“And I should never trust a red head.” I joked because I really needed a moment to cover my thoughts.
Tom barked out a laugh, slapping his hand against his thigh. “You do listen to me. Bottom line, I want you and Eve to have the best shot, and that means overstepping my bounds from time to time to tell you what I think is best for you, son.”
Maybe I was giving Ashley a free pass because I wanted to help, but that was all it was, or ever would be. It was nice of Tom to worry about us, but there was nothing to worry about. Eve and I were fine, and Ashley was a non-factor. “I’m glad you’re here today. Thank you for coming.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” It was probably the closest Tom and I would ever come to saying something sentimental.
The door to the sitting room suddenly opened and Greg popped his head in, “Hey buttercup! You guys done in here yet?”
“You feeling lonely, sweetheart?” I teased him back.
Greg stepped all the way inside, his whiskey glass permanently attached to his hand. “Fuck yeah. It isn’t fair when you two play without me on the playground.”
“I’m sorry. Do you need your dolly?”
Greg snorted and took a swig of his drink. “Naw, but you might. It’s time, buttercup. Let’s go get you hitched.”
Chapter 15
~Eve~
“You get twenty minutes. Not a minute longer.” I glared at my mother. She was being impossible.
“Thirty.”
“No. You said this would take thirty minutes and I’ve been smiling for over an hour. There are only so many pictures that can be taken in one day and I’m already at my limit!”
“You haven’t even taken pictures with Jake yet!”
“Which is why you get twenty more minutes after the ceremony.”
She crossed her arms and looked me up and down. She was trying to figure out how serious I was being. “Fine.”
“I’m serious mother, I’m walking
at exactly twenty minutes. This is my wedding day and I am not going to miss out on enjoying it because you want a picture of my hair from fifteen different angles!”
She stopped and got all misty eyed on me again. She was going to be the death of me. Every single time someone said “wedding day” or “bride” or even “Eve”, she turned into a tear factory.
Jennie saw my frustration and stepped in, “Come on, Mara, let’s make sure the flowers are ready.”
My mother nodded and allowed Jennie to lead her away. June had disappeared sometime after the first round of pictures so it was just Cassandra and me. “It’s almost over and you and your groom can ride off alone into the sunset.” She smiled and adjusted my hair again.
“He tricked me this morning, you know. He didn’t leave when he was supposed to.”
Cassandra faked a look of shock. “Heaven’s no! Don’t tell me the man hopelessly in love with you was still in your bed this morning. For shame!”
I chuckled. “Even worse. He woke me up with his mouth.”
At first my sister shrugged and then paused. She arched her eyebrow and looked me up and down. “Really? What a fantastic wedding present.”
“It really was. But I’m not letting him know that for a while.”
“Evil.”
I shrugged. Teasing Jake was one of my joys in life.
Dad came around the corner. He was trying to smile, but he was failing miserably. “Daughter! Are you ready for this?”
“I am.” I slid my hand into the crook of his arm while my sister took the other.
He looked from me to Cassandra and back again. “I’m about to have two married daughters. It’s hard to believe.”
I rested my cheek against his strong shoulder as we walked slowly toward our waiting guests.
