The thought made me feel sick but it was my only option. I’d promised not to help Hades find out about Thanatos, so it wasn’t like I could charm Thanatos into turning himself in. I’d never promised not to hurt Thanatos. ‘Course I’d never be able to explain to Hades why I killed his best friend, but I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.
“There you guys are. What took so long?” I asked the moment Melissa and Aphrodite stepped out of Melissa’s gold Civic.
Aphrodite yawned and pointed to Melissa. “She spent forever in front of the mirror getting ready.”
I glanced at Melissa, surprised to see she was wearing a brown satin skirt with a maroon blouse. “You look nice. What’s the occasion?”
“Picture day,” she reminded me. She walked toward the white school buildings, heels clicking on the sidewalk.
“It’s picture day?” I followed Melissa.
“What is picture day?” Aphrodite asked.
“You forgot?” Melissa shook her head. “You’re wearing yourself too thin, Persephone.”
“I forgot because we took senior pictures over the summer. I thought we were done.”
“They’re still going to do the club pictures.”
I groaned and plucked at my necklace. “I look terrible. Ugh, I can’t believe I forgot!”
“So they’re going to take our picture…why?” Aphrodite asked while we walked to the classroom.
“To put in the yearbook,” Melissa explained.
“Which is what, exactly?”
I searched my mind for a way to explain that wouldn’t lead to more questions while I opened the classroom door. A high-pitched squeal caught me off guard, and suddenly I was bombarded by the girls in my class.
“Oh my god! Aphrodite! Kora! You look amazing!” Ashley exclaimed.
We stepped into the classroom. “Thank you,” Aphrodite said graciously.
“Your hair looks so nice and this dress!” Jessica touched the floral material of a dress I’d worn a thousand times without inspiring comments and turned to her twin sister. “Hey Ashley, do you remember that dress we saw in Macy’s the other day? The white one with the flowers. It’s about this cut. We should run by the mall after school and get it, Kora. It’s so you.”
“Uh—” I began.
“It’s so daring!” Ashley exclaimed over Aphrodite’s blue ensemble. Aphrodite had slid right into the social circle in school. Effortlessly filling the void Rachel had left. The twins followed her around campus like lost puppies. It annoyed Melissa to no end, but I’d made sure they weren’t under charm. What else was I supposed to do?
Melissa made an offended noise behind me, and I turned to see her rushing out the door.
“Melissa, wait!” I cried, following after her.
My sandals slapped at the concrete sidewalk. I caught up to her on the bamboo “Causes Bridge” the art teacher had created. Signs dangled from the arches of the bridge, different problems written on each. I slowed as the weight of the problems settled on my shoulders. As a goddess, shouldn’t I be doing something about issues like world hunger? Instead I was stuck dealing with Zeus, Thanatos, and the Reapers.
Melissa leaned over the bamboo rail, staring down at the canopy of greenery between the beams for overpopulation and war.
“Melissa, I’m sorry no one said anything. You look amazing—”
“It’s not enough.” She swiped angrily at her eyes. “I’m just the mere mortal.”
“Don’t let her get to you. Aphrodite was created to cause a stir, it’s—”
“The fact that she was intended to be perfect doesn’t make standing next to her any easier. Look, I’m not proud to admit that she gets to me, okay? Yes, I’m being shallow and overdramatic, but I’m telling you, my self-esteem can’t take this anymore.”
“Melissa…”
“It’s not just her, it’s you, too. You’re both so freaking perfect.” She made a gesture of frustration with her hands. “No one notices me if you guys are in the room. How could they?”
I blinked, surprised by her anger. “This isn’t just about what happened back there, is it? You’ve never cared what those girls think.”
Melissa sighed and sat on the bridge, feet dangling through the rails. “It’s everything. It just builds.” She was quiet for a moment before adding, “I had a fight with my mom.”
“What about?” I sat next to her. The wood caught on my cotton dress. I could only imagine what it was doing to Melissa’s skirt. She must be really upset not to notice.
“I got accepted at Iowa State.”
My heart froze in my chest, but I shoved my selfishness aside. “That’s great!”
“Mom said I couldn’t go.”
“So we’ll work it out. I’ll tell her I said it was okay—”
“I shouldn’t need your permission Persephone!” Her eyes glittered with rage. “I died last year, and you know my first thought when you brought me back?”
I shook my head, but she was already continuing.
“That could have been it. My entire life, and I’d never done a single thing for myself. Every decision I’ve ever made had to be weighed against what you wanted. You think you have mom issues, Persephone? Mine wouldn’t have even had me if she hadn’t been ordered to. You’re the entire reason I exist and, sorry, but that’s pretty screwed up.”
I’d been afraid of this ever since I found out she was my priestess. Maybe back in ancient Greece people hadn’t had issues with being born subservient, but modern-day society didn’t allow for that kind of thing. I’d never treated her like a servant, but if it was me instead of her, that would be a cold comfort.
“You’ve felt this way ever since you came back?”
She shook her head. “Like I said, it builds. At first I was just grateful, you know? I figured things could go back to the way they were, but you changed.”
“Me?”
“Before, everyone at school kind of hated you, and you couldn’t deal with that, so I helped you.”
“You fought my battles for me,” I corrected. I was proud that I’d started standing up for myself. That was the one good thing that had come with facing Boreas. I wasn’t afraid of confrontation anymore. I’d fought for my life: standing up to a few high schoolers paled in comparison.
“Well, you don’t need me anymore. And you have these cool powers, and you’re confident and self-assured and have an awesome guy—”
“Who dated your mom…”
Melissa shuddered. “It may be gross, but at least someone is interested in you. And as if that wasn’t enough, you’re stringing Joel along—”
“We’re just friends!” I protested.
“He doesn’t want to be your friend and you know it, but you still hang around with him. It used to just bug me, but I could deal. You’re my best friend after all. I should be happy for you. Even if you do look freaking perfect.”
I stared at Melissa, stunned. In my entire life she’d been the one person who’d never cared what I looked like. She’d never made me feel guilty, or superior, she just accepted who I was. “I didn’t know I was bothering you.”
“It was fine. I’m allowed to be jealous, okay? It’s stupid and petty of me, but I’m only human, remember? I thought I could handle it, but then you dropped her into my lap, and I just can’t. She’s completely perfect. I didn’t think prettier than you existed, yet there she is. And…I know this is shallow. I’m not saying I want to be in the center of attention, okay? It just hurts not to be noticed at all. And then this college thing…”
“We’ll work it out.”
She laughed, tears chasing each other down her cheeks. “And you’re so damn nice about it that I can’t even be mad at you. That’s the worst part. You understand! You get how incredibly screwed up this is. It’s my mom who doesn’t. She just keeps telling me that you saved me, and I’ll live forever, and I should be grateful, but she doesn’t mention how I shouldn’t have been killed in the first place. She doesn’t mention how screw
ed up it is that I was used as a divine bargaining chip, and the only person who protested was you. They were going to let me die, Persephone! She had already accepted it because you are so much more fucking important than me.”
I was silent for a moment, unsure of what I could possibly say to that. “What can I do?” I asked finally, unable to bear the thought of my best friend being so miserable.
“Keep her away from me. I’m not asking you to choose between us, or anything that petty. I know helping her is important. I just don’t want to have to look at her.”
I nodded, my heart beating uncomfortably hard in my chest. “Did you want me to stay away from you, too?”
She didn’t answer, but there was pain etched across her face. Seventeen years’ worth. I turned away, unable to face what I’d done to my best friend.
“I’ll go,” I croaked, my voice hoarse. I stood and took a step backward. “I’ll take Aphrodite and just charm the teachers into thinking we’re finishing out the year. Our parents don’t have to know. At school at least, you’ll get to lead your own life. And I promise, I’ll work out the college thing. You don’t have to be around me to be my priestess. Mom has hundreds of them all around the world. There’s no reason I can’t do the same.”
“Yeah, thanks for that.” She stared hard at the ground beneath her feet.
My already frayed temper snapped. “I didn’t ask for any of this, you know! Do you honestly think if I had the chance to just go back and make it to where we were both just normal that I wouldn’t? I don’t want you for my priestess any more than you want to be my priestess. I just want to be your friend.”
I wanted to throw in some witty retort like “apparently that’s too much to ask,” but that was the problem with not being able to lie. You can’t be too dramatic. Whatever else happened, Melissa had been a great friend. I just hadn’t returned the favor. Instead, I settled for a dramatic exit. I spun on my heel and stormed off.
Each step felt progressively harder to take. By the time I reached the classroom, I felt so heavy I worried I’d sink through the earth. I grabbed Aphrodite’s arm when I got into the classroom and looked my professor full in the eye, for once not even feeling a pang of guilt for using my charm. I was past caring. “You think we stayed for the whole class.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
“Great, and you’ll say we were here every day, right? Turning in every assignment and making straight As.”
He nodded, starstruck.
I hesitated, fiddling with my necklace. Me getting straight As would be nearly as conspicuous as failing for non-attendance. “Oh fine. Just average me out to a low B.”
I turned to Aphrodite. “Charm the students with the same message. I’ll get the rest of our teachers.”
I stormed out of the classroom, tossing my name tag in the trash as I left. So much for normal.
Chapter XV
“Get away from me,” I snapped to a Reaper as I made my way to the parking lot.
The Reaper took one look at me, and the smirk faded from his face. He stepped back.
“Persephone!” Aphrodite’s heels clacked on the cement as she hurried after me. “What’s going on? What happened?”
Just let me get to my car, I thought in desperation. One look at Aphrodite’s concerned face crushed what was left of my composure.
“A minute,” I gasped. “I just need a minute. I’ll tell you everything in—” I cut off before a sob broke through my voice and threw up a shield. I gave myself thirty seconds to cry, scream, and beat out my frustration against the shield. I spent the next thirty seconds regaining my composure.
“Is it Zeus?” Aphrodite asked when I dropped the shield. “Has he come for me?”
I closed my eyes against the wave of guilt that rushed through me. “No, I just…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Melissa and I…I just—”
“Okay, that’s it.” She started back toward the school.
“Aphrodite, what are you doing?” I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“She needs to be put in her place. She bosses me around, she dared to upset you…” Aphrodite took a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. How you deal with your worshipers is your business, but Persephone, she made you cry.”
“You don’t understand.” I explained as best I could, but Aphrodite wasn’t having it.
“You risked your own well-being for a nymph, gave her immortality, and treat her as a friend—no, family—and Melissa has the audacity to complain about it! And you! You not only let her get away with it, but you allowed her to upset you? Why do you care what she thinks? You’re a goddess!”
“I wish I wasn’t!” I exploded, throwing my hands in the air. “I’ve lost my best friend. I can barely look at Hades. I’m not even on speaking terms with my mom. This time last year I was normal!” My voice broke. “I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. I’ve got nothing left.”
“You have me.” Aphrodite draped an arm around my shoulder and steered me to a wooden bench. “I know you feel like you’ve lost something, your normal life, or whatever, but that life was a lie. The harder you try to hold onto it, the faster it’s going to slip away. You’re never going to fit in with humans. They can tell what we are. Look at how the children at this school treat you. They’re polite, sure, but they whisper. They know you’re different.”
“You seem to fit in just fine.”
If she heard the bitterness in my voice, she ignored it. “That’s because I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. Humans understand their place. There are leaders and there are followers, and then there’s us. It makes them nervous when you act like their equal.”
I didn’t believe that for a minute.
“Persephone, I’m not friends with those girls. I don’t pretend to be, yet they follow me and they respect me. They would do the same for you if you just stepped up and behaved like a goddess.” She laughed. “It’s really terrible what Demeter has done to you. You’re not just a goddess. You rank. There are four major deities left. You’re the child of two of them and wife of a third. These humans shouldn’t have any power over you. If you’d been created like me, you’d know all this. She took the knowledge that was your birthright.”
“My mom wanted me to be able to fit in.”
“How’s that working out for you?”
I stared at the concrete. I wanted Aphrodite to be wrong. I wanted to keep my human life, to believe I still belonged here. But the knot in my stomach told me that wasn’t going to happen. And, really, what did it matter? I put my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. I couldn’t think. I was too tired.
“Come on.” She pulled me up from the bench, voice gentle. “It’s time you learned how to behave like a true goddess. If you’re to rule with Hades then—”
I balked at that. “I don’t need to change. Not for you, and not for Hades. He likes me the way I am.”
“Does he? You just said you can barely look at him. What’s going on with you two?”
“We’re taking a break.” Her sympathetic nod made me defensive. “It was my idea.”
“Oh good!” She looked relieved. “I was afraid he’d fed you some crap about your age difference.”
My eyes shot to hers. “Why would that be bad? We’re like millennia apart.”
“He was one of the first beings created, so it’s not like he’s ever not dated anyone significantly younger than him, with the exception of Hera, I suppose.” Aphrodite met my eyes with a frown. “She would have been his equal in power and knowledge as well, wouldn’t she? Meh.” She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Doesn’t matter. I’m just glad it was your idea. If the age difference really did bother him, then that would mean he’s looking for something he could only possibly have had with one person. And being his rebound is beneath you.”
I couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Could that be true? It sounded reasonable.
Oh gods, was that all I was? Rebound?
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“Anyway,” Aphrodite’s voice was a thin buzzing in my ear. “I’m sure you’re right. He loves you just the way you are. But, you are naive. And while I’m sure that’s endearing, isn’t it a bit of a security risk to his kingdom?” Aphrodite met my gaze.
I thought of the promise I’d unwittingly made to Thanatos. I’d endangered the whole Underworld with my ignorance. Guilty, Hades’ voice echoed in my mind. I touched my necklace and swallowed hard. That was how he felt when he kissed me. Like he was taking advantage of a child.
Maybe Aphrodite had a point. Maybe I was naive. I’d never fit in at school. Only with Melissa. You’ve changed, she’d said. What exactly had changed about me? I could stand up for myself. She’d rather me be helpless, just like my mother did. If I was helpless, then I was easier to control.
Rebound? He was the love of my life, and I was just rebound?
Maybe I was too naive.
I didn’t want to be helpless. I didn’t want to be controlled.
I broke away from Aphrodite’s gaze with a sigh. “What did you have in mind?”
She gave me a bright grin. “Let’s leave humanity behind, shall we?” She motioned to the parking lot. “It’s time you learned to behave like a true goddess.”
Chapter XVI
“This is behaving like a true goddess?” I asked dryly as Aphrodite tried on yet another dress.
“No. This is dressing like a real goddess. We’re going out tonight.” She put the dress back on the hanger and approached the saleswoman. “I’ll be taking this with me when I leave.”
The woman’s pupils widened as Aphrodite’s charm erased any objections she may have. “Would you like me to put it in a bag?”
I caught the woman’s eye and handed her my credit card, praying it hadn’t maxed out. Aphrodite had gone on quite a shopping spree.
“You don’t have to do that.” Aphrodite pointed out.
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