by Kacey Shea
“She’s got a rack like Katy Perry
Legs that make ya’ Tootsie Roll
I’d always have her number
If just to rock and roll
Those red lips hold the devil’s kiss
And I think I wanna burn . . .
“I mean, it’s no Shakespeare, and still rough and all . . .”
Her laughter, loud and tickled with joy interrupts, “Oh, my God. Tell me you’re fucking with me.”
I twist my mouth in mock indignation. “It’s got potential. I think maybe if you take all the letters and rearrange them into new words.” My chuckles join with her amusement and I step forward, finding a seat at the edge of her bed.
“Dude, Trent. I wanna lie to you, but that was really bad. Horrible, really.”
“I know!” I shake my head. “But it was my first try!”
“What, at collaborating?”
“No. Writing lyrics.”
“What?” Her mouth falls open with shock. “Wait, who writes all your songs?”
“Mostly, our old drummer, Derek. It’s what he does for a living now. Sometimes other stuff the label finds us.”
“That surprises me.”
“What? That I can’t write for shit?”
“No. It’s just . . . when you’re onstage . . . you make the words your own. They seem so personal. It surprises me you didn’t write them.”
“Wait. I never see you backstage. When did you see me play?”
Her gaze darts away and I can’t help but let loose another chuckle.
“Sneaky little thing. And hell must be freezing over, because if I’m not mistaken, I just heard Lexi Marx give a compliment. To me?” I raise my brow.
“Chalk it up next to being prettier than a bug.”
“Don’t forget the lack of Lyme disease!”
“Never.” She grins, crossing her heart with one pointed finger, and it’s all I can do to stay still right now. To not crawl over her body until she lays back against the mattress. To dip my chin and feel those lips I’ve been dreaming of for so long. To taste her.
The motor of the bus is a slight rumble over an otherwise smooth ride but our breaths are shallow. Bated. Charging the air with a current that’s full of everything I’ve ever felt for her. Lust. Attraction. Admiration. Desire. Want. All the reasons—good ones, too—why this is a bad idea fade to the furthest corners of my conscience as I lean forward at a deliberate pace so I don’t scare her. Just to touch her. To kiss her. Once.
My cheek makes the first contact, brushing against hers, and I dip my chin as her face lifts and our mouths connect in a rush. A coming home as if they knew where to meet. Our lips are unhurried, languid, and the kiss is everything I thought it’d be. When Lexi tries to pull away I can’t help but stop her, my hand cradling the back of her neck. I press closer, my lips moving against hers and she opens for me. I lick inside her mouth and moan.
The ringing of her phone interrupts the magic of our moment, and Lexi’s hands press against my chest. “Stop. Trent, stop.” She pulls away and this time I let her.
She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want me. It’s what I already knew, but it’s hurtful all the same.
“Sorry. I . . . Um . . .” I climb off the bed, open her door, and turn back just enough to catch her greet her mom with a disappointed hello. I don’t try to meet her gaze. I don’t even know if she watches me slink from her room. Like a big fucking coward, because that kiss . . . Her lips . . . Fuck, I sound like a pussy, but that’s all it took to seal what I already knew. I’ve got the hots for Lexi Marx. I’ve got it bad. I’m so screwed it’s not fucking funny.
My mother ruins everything good. It’s a statement both mean and true. She just called to wish me a happy birthday, but she doesn’t “just” anything and I know that. I’ve always known that. But to start my birthday with a demand that I ditch the tour to visit my dying father . . . it’s just about the worst.
That, and she interrupted the kiss.
The kiss. Until a few hours ago, I thought I’d been kissed before. I was wrong. Oh, God, how I was wrong. Until the moment Trent’s lips locked with mine, I believed kissing wasn’t important. Simply a gateway to something more. Again I was wrong. If I could, I would kiss Trent again. And again . . . and again.
And that’s bad, bad, bad.
I can’t kiss him. I can’t. I shouldn’t. It’s not a good idea.
I know. I know. So why the fuck won’t my body and heart get in line?
I’ve been pondering the question all day. While the band leaves for local radio interviews. As I devour a stack of pancakes by myself from a hole in the wall diner. When I try to write songs about hurt and sadness, but they end up sounding more like love. Through my sound check. My show. And yes, even as I meet fans and sell merchandise alongside Jax while Trent serenades the outdoor amphitheater. Jax finds it quite comical that my gaze drifts to the stage on more than one occasion. I consider going backstage so I can watch the band play all up close and personal. So I can stare at Trent. But even I realize that’s not good for my crush.
I’m still confused when I get back to the bus and step into the shower. It doesn’t help that I imagine my hands are Trent’s as I rub soap over my skin. Around and down my breasts. Between my aching thighs. While I finger myself. I bite my lip hard when I come so I don’t call out his name.
Yeah. Some birthday this has been.
The guys enter the bus post-show just as I step out of the bathroom. Trent’s eyes land on the towel wrapped snugly around my chest before he darts his gaze away. No one else seems to notice, their laughter and usual banter reaching me where I stand. A breath I didn’t realize I was holding rushes from my lips as I lock the bedroom door behind me. I can’t let this get to me, mess with the comfortable vibe we’ve established, or fuck with my head any longer.
“Get your shit together,” I mutter to myself as I pull on my post-show wear. I’m sure the guys will go out tonight after they shower and change. We have a few hours before it’s time to roll onward to the next city. I will use that time to get my head straight.
“Hey, Lexi!” Sean raps at the door. “Come out with us, okay?”
“I don’t really feel like going out tonight,” I yell back. Because I don’t. I hear the stories when they return from a night of debauchery. I don’t need to witness that firsthand. As much as Trent’s not mine, I can’t stand the idea of him with someone else. No, I prefer to hold on to the rare possibility that our kiss today was something special.
“Lex.” Sean’s voice is close, as though he’s right up against my door. “Come out just for a sec, okay? We need to talk.”
We need to talk. My mind reels with the possibilities. We need to talk about what? My eyebrow styling payback? My father, maybe? I wouldn’t put it past my mother to call their manager with the news. The kiss? No. God, I hope Trent didn’t share that with anyone. I’m an anxious mess as I slip a worn knit sweater over my head and step out the door.
They’re quiet. Too quiet for men who never shut up, and the second I turn the corner I gasp. My hand goes straight to my lips because this isn’t anything I expected.
Sean holds aloft the circular white and pink cake. “A little birdie told us it was someone’s birthday today.” He grins, his smile as wide as those of Iz, Austin, and Trent, who hang back in the kitchen seats.
“What? No. You guys!” It’s all I can manage as tears, happy ones, gather in the corners of my eyes. I blink them back before they can escape, and take the open chair next to Trent when Austin motions for me to sit.
“After cake we have presents, too,” Sean announces, setting the cake on the table.
“This is like, really sweet.” My face physically hurts, my smile stretches so wide.
“Wait until you see the gifts. You may change your mind,” Iz teases and the vape I gave him clicks when he inhales.
“Happy Birthday Badass. Aww, you guys are too good to me,” I tease when I read the piping aloud, but their s
miles only grow. “So, when do we get to eat this?” My mouth salivates at the whipped buttercream frosting.
“After we fucking sing, of course!”
They break out into this grunged, rocked out version of the Happy Birthday song in which Austin plays air guitar and Iz taps two forks for a drum solo that makes me wonder if they practiced.
“Cut the first slice.” Trent’s fingers brush against mine when he places the knife in my grip. He leans closer and dips his chin to whisper in my ear. “And don’t forget to make a wish.”
Flipping my lip ring with my tongue, I wish for the first thing that pops into my mind, and slice through the cake, so pretty it looks too good to eat. The guys cheer and clap and I get caught up in their joy, laughter leaving my mouth as I dish out pieces for each of us.
“I want the ass!” Austin reaches for the slice in which I cut the word badass in two.
Trent slaps his hand away. “No. You get bad. If anyone gets Lexi’s ass, it’s me.”
Everyone laughs at his joke, but my lips part, goosebumps cover my flesh, and when I turn my chin to meet his gaze, an involuntary shiver shoots down my spine. Fuck. Wow. Please. That’s what Trent’s stare does to me. As the smile drops from my face, so does his, and his eyes, they’re full of so much scrutiny that I do something strange. I back down from their challenge, looking away first and shoving a huge bite of cake in my mouth.
As soon as the fluffy goodness hits my taste buds I moan with appreciation. Sugary sweetness overload. “Oh, my God. This is so good.”
“Who would have known someone so salty likes it sweet,” Austin jabs with a wink.
Mouth wide, I take another bite and flip him off, causing everyone to laugh again.
Sean hops up from his seat and walks to the other side of the bus. “Now. For the best part. Here.” He pulls down a wrapped box from one of the high storage cupboards, smart hiding spot since I’d never be able to snoop there.
The paper is decorated in florescent rainbow guitars, something you’d pick for a child, but that detail along with the cake is so thoughtful my eyes water. It hits me that this wasn’t some last minute scheme. They planned this birthday surprise. I blink furiously until my eyes clear, and hook my finger under the folds of paper where it’s taped.
“Come on, Lex! Fucking rip into it!”
“You guys really shouldn’t have!” I say, their generosity overwhelming me once more. I rip the paper this time until it reveals a familiar pink striped box. Laughter bubbles from my belly and I shake my head as I remove the top.
Satin. Lace. Cotton, too. There’s got to be at least twenty pairs inside. “Oh, my God! You guys are such dorks!”
They erupt into boisterous laughter. Austin shouts for a runway show until Trent hits him in the balls. Sean grins, his cheeks patched with red, then shrugs when I meet his stare. Iz shakes his head, recounting how he didn’t join the others on their shopping excursion, but he hopes I like them all the same.
“Wait, the three of you picked them out?” I roll my eyes and I continue to laugh as I imagine what a stir that must have caused. “And you didn’t get kicked out?”
“Austin almost did.” Sean rats out his friend and they engage in a pseudo wrestling match until Trent yells at them to knock it off.
“As weird as it is, I love my gift. Thank you.”
“Wait, there’s one more,” Trent says and I catch a trace of confusion flicker across Sean’s face before Trent leans forward and pulls a box from his back pocket. It’s narrow, long, and wrapped in simple white paper.
I’m at a loss for words.
My tongue finds my lip ring and I flick it back and forth until all the paper is gone and I’m left with a brown cardboard box. If not for the color it would remind me of jewelry. I grip the lid, poised to open it, but stop to lift my gaze to Trent. The rest of the guys are silent and I can guess they have no clue what it is, either.
“Go on. Open it.” He pulls his lips into his stunning smile and a few locks of hair fall forward on his face.
When I pull the top off the box, I want to cry.
It’s one of those simple gifts with great meaning, and it’s as if he’s offering me more than simply a necklace. The chain is a bronzed metal and the pendant is the same tone, a rectangular strip of metal with lettering that appears hand stamped rather than engraved by a machine. HAKUNA MATATA the metal reads in all capital letters. It’s understated but beautiful, and hands down the most thoughtful present I’ve ever been given.
I don’t realize a few tears have slipped past my eyelids until they splatter on the table.
“Dude, your gift sucks and now you made Lexi cry. Not cool, man.” Sean steps forward but Trent is closer.
Trent drops to his knees at my left. “You hate it?” His fingers cover the box but I snatch it away.
“No. No.” I shake my head and a few more tears fall. I blink my lids and meet his concerned stare. “I love it.”
His eyes widen with my words.
I lift my chin and smile at Austin, Sean, and Iz. “This has been the best birthday. Ever. Thank you.”
“She’s a real girl! She’s a real girl!” Austin says with a laugh and I roll my eyes.
“Just because I don’t cry all the time doesn’t mean I’m not a woman.”
“That’s for damn sure,” Trent mutters and takes the chain from my fingers. “May I?” He opens the clasp, and I barely manage a nod before he lifts his arms over and around my neck.
I turn my back to him and he fastens the chain. His fingertips brush the back of my neck and the room suddenly feels too hot. Definitely too full of spectators. The pendant rests just below the hollow of my throat, a perfect fit. I straighten my spine and turn in my chair. Trent’s gaze meets mine.
“Thank you.” I whisper so softly I’m not sure he hears the words.
His gaze is intense, full of the same heat that flushes my skin, and his lips kick up at the edges with that familiar smile. “Happy birthday, Lexi.”
Happiest birthday of my life.
“So, birthday girl, you gonna come out with us now?” Sean winks, breaking the moment Lexi and I share.
Before she answers, I lean away from her chair and grab some of the dirty dishes from the table. I move to the sink with a need to keep my hands busy because it’s all I can do to not cup her face and pull her close for another amazing kiss. Fuck me. Those lips. I could kiss them all night.
“No thanks. You go celebrate for me.”
“You sure?” Austin says and I hate how his eyes light with appreciation when she smiles at him.
“I’m sure. This was perfect. Thank you.” She stands from the table and walks over to Iz, giving him a hug before he exits the bus door. She offers one to Austin too, and then Sean as they get ready to leave.
We made a plan to surprise Lexi and then go party at some nearby bar until they close. Our bus doesn’t leave until after two, so there’s plenty of time. The night is young. But when Austin steps outside and Lexi comes back over to collect her gift from the table, my feet are still planted in the kitchen. I have no desire to go out. Why would I when everything I need is here?
“You ready, man? That dish is probably clean,” Sean says with a lift of his eyebrow.
“Fuck.” I glance down to realize I’ve been scrubbing the same plate this entire time. The others are still dirty and piled up on the counter.
“It’s okay. I can finish cleaning up. Go,” Lexi says.
My gaze stays trained on Sean. “No, go on without me. I think I’m gonna stay in. Besides, we can’t have the birthday girl cleaning up from her own party.” I steal a sidelong glance at Lexi. “That’s like Party Etiquette 101.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Sean sends me a warning cloaked in a smile. “You were never good at cleaning up messes.”
“I know what I’m doing. Promise.”
He raises his brows and turns, leaving the bus.
“At least let me help.” Lexi sets the box of lin
gerie at the edge of the counter and stands at my side. “Here, I’ll dry.” She grabs a fresh dish towel from the drawer.
“Good birthday?” I hand her a clean plate and rinse off the rest.
“The best.” She smiles so damn sweetly, and for the first time, maybe ever, she looks years younger than her newly turned twenty-four.
Side by side we finish up, and while she returns the clean plates to their place in the cupboard, I take a wet cloth and wipe down the table and counter.
“Domestication looks good on you.” Lexi leans her hip against the counter with a grin. She’s making a joke, sure, but the heat in her stare says something more. Or maybe that’s only my hope. Either way, I can’t stop the desire that courses through my body. My muscles tighten as my gaze takes in the sight of her. Just Lexi. The stripped down version, no makeup, no overtly sexy clothes, just Lexi in all her unaltered beauty.
Her lips part, just enough that they appear even more plump. Kissable. Tempting.
Oh hell, what’s living without taking a risk?
I step in front of her, caging her in against the counter and steal the towel from her hands. Something charges the air. Yearning. I hope it’s not one-sided. The racing pulse that thrums at her throat, right where the chain of her new necklace rests, is my only indication she might return the sentiment.
I dip my chin, bending so my lips feather across her forehead until they find her ear. “Tell me, Miss Marx, do you like it dirty or sweet? Or maybe wet?”
She lifts her gaze, leaning back enough so she can meet my stare. “Can’t I have it all? Why should I have to settle?”
“I like that. That you want everything, because you deserve it, Lexi.” Setting the towel on the counter, my fingers trace a trail from her exposed shoulder and up the side of her neck until they cup her jaw in my palm. She shivers with my touch and her eyelids flutter shut. Maybe I should walk away now, before it gets messy. Before I do something I can’t erase or clean up, but I don’t.
“You deserve so much, but I . . . I’m going to kiss you now.” I take her silence as permission. That, along with the encouragement from her fingers. They slide over my hips and dig into my flesh, tugging me closer still even after my lips cover hers. Sweet. She’s everything I want, and her mouth is as sinfully delicious as I remember.
