by Andy Warhol
Sunday, April 19, 1981
Easter. I was in a really depressed mood. It was Sunday so Jed had come and taken the dogs for the day. I cried three times. I decided to pull myself together and go to church.
Monday, April 20, 1981
The weather was slightly coolish so I had on a jacket and my backpack. Vincent talked to our landlord at 860 and he said the fifth floor that’s vacant rents for $7,500 a month! We pay about $2,300 for our floor, so I mean, I really should buy a building. We need more room for Interview and rents are ridiculous. And when our lease is up, ours’ll really go up, too.
Janet Villella called and said she’d pick me up in her limo to go to the ABT opening at Lincoln Center.
Suzie Frankfurt called and said that they foreclosed on John Samuels’s father’s 79th Street house. It was sold on the courthouse steps to the Brazilians.
Tried to find my black tie. Janet picked me up at 7:00.
The most jolting thing that happened at the ballet was this woman came over and said, “Hi, do you know who I am?” and I said no, and she said, “Lila Davies.” I went to school with her at Carnegie Tech, and she was one of the people who we all lived together with on 103rd Street in the fifties. She had her eighteen-year-old son with her. They live in Cleveland. And then I felt old, because her son looked like she did when I knew her. I felt old and grey and tired and out of it. And I invited her to lunch at the office. And now I’ve been thinking that all my problems are because I’m feeling old. And I’m seeing all these young kids just budding. So I’ve pinpointed the problem.
Godunov sprained his back so he was out, and Gelsey Kirkland was really good. Then Misha did “Push Comes to Shove” and everybody loved that because he’s a star. Afterward they were having a free dinner across the way. Sondra and Chris Gilman were there. Anna Sosenko who wrote songs for Hildegarde was there. She’s in the autograph business now and when I told her how many Interviews I signed a day she said to stop immediately, that my signature will be worthless.
Tuesday, April 21, 1981
They just found another body in the Atlanta killings, the twenty-fifth, I think. And I was thinking about it: If I had a little kid and she was murdered, I would go out and kill the person myself, even if I landed in jail. I would do that. I’m sure of it. It’s just incredible that they don’t have any clues at all in twenty-five murders.
Brigid had invited Rod McKuen to lunch, he used to sleep on her sofa when he was broke. He just moved to town and he called her up. She went to Balducci’s and was really putting on the dog. So we sat there and had lunch and gee, I tried to figure out what was fascinating about him, why he’s so big, and I just couldn’t.
And John Wallowitch called. I raved to him about seeing him playing the piano on cable TV, and I told him to come to the office. He was calling to tell me that his brother Eddie, my first boyfriend about twenty-five years ago—that he just went down to Florida to visit Eddie and found him bloated and dead in his house. He’d been drinking, gone off A.A. and had a fit. He always got depressed and I never knew why because he was good-looking and he was a photographer. John didn’t want to look at the body, so a friend came over and identified it.
I went to Ashton Hawkins’s dinner at 17 East 89th Street, my old neighborhood, so it made me feel funny. The real howdy-doody heavy duties were there—Brooke Astor, Laurance Rockefeller, Alice Arlen. And Mike Nichols’s hair, I don’t think it’s fake, it looks so great, so really great. Ashton had a rent-a-maid, one of those old Irish types like from Schrafft’s, the cute Irish ladies with the dykey Vassar haircuts in black uniforms and white collars. Brooke Astor said she was trying to save the South Bronx—the old people and the poor people. Mary McFadden was there with her escort, Stephen Paley, and I made believe Bob hadn’t told me anything about her divorce, about the guy stealing all her stuff. I said, “You look pretty,” and she said, “I’m desperate.” I told her to just go out and buy herself a new Yves St. Laurent dress and she started to hit me and she’s strong.
Then I asked her if she wanted to arm wrestle and we did and then she started to like me and that got strange. I felt bad because I think I hurt her hand.
Went home. I called Jon Gould at the Beverly Wilshire. Then I went to bed and had the most un-sleepful night. Woke up at 3:00 and had a big glass of brandy and a Valium.
Wednesday, April 22, 1981
Didn’t sleep well, I’ll have to stop drinking so much coffee and just eat more healthy food and cut out liquor, too. I did my exercises in a hurry and I’m up to ten pushups and then eight and eight situps.
Lila Davies called and cancelled coming to lunch because she had tickets to Amadeus.
Friday, April 24, 1981
Passed out Interviews this morning. Had to meet Donald Trump at the office (cab $5.50). Marc Balet had set up this meeting. I keep forgetting that Marc gave up architecture to become an art director, but he still builds models at home, he told me. He’s designing a catalogue for all the stores in the atrium at the Trump Tower and he told Donald Trump that I should do a portrait of the building that would hang over the entrance to the residential part. So they came down to talk about that. Donald Trump is really good-looking. A girl named Evans was with him and another lady. It was so strange, these people are so rich. They talked about buying a building yesterday for $500 million or something. They raved about the Balducci’s lunch, but they just picked at it. I guess because they go around to so many things where there’s food. And they didn’t have drinks, they all just had Tabs. He’s a butch guy. Nothing was settled, but I’m going to do some paintings, anyway, and show them to them.
Sunday, April 26, 1981
It was such a pretty day. Jon Gould walked me all the way downtown to the office, then he went to the gym and I went to work. I did some Madonnas. Then I went to church for a minute. Chris Makos called and I said I was just too exhausted to make reservations anywhere for dinner, so he did, at Da Silvano. Jon called and he said he was free, so I picked him up at work, and cabbed down to Da Silvano ($8). It’s just expensive Italian food that they try to do well (dinner $140). And Catherine Guinness’s friend Anna Wintour was there with Michael Stone, and I couldn’t remember her name at first, but then I did. She was just hired by New York magazine to be their fashion editor. She wanted to work for Interview but we didn’t hire her. Maybe we should have, we do need a fashion person, but—I don’t think she knows how to dress, she’s actually a terrible dresser.
Jon dropped me off and I got home and crawled into bed and fell asleep.
Wednesday, April 29, 1981
Brigid said “Jon Gould of Paramount Pictures” had called the office four times and she was snide about it, but I told her we were working on a script together. When I called him back he was at lunch.
And Christopher brought up two barbells and I could hardly lift them. I’m up to two sets of ten pushups and one set of ten situps. Jon called back and said his rented car was towed from 75th and Columbus and that it was my fault because I’d told him it wouldn’t be. He thought it was stolen, but then the police called Hertz.
Donna, one of the girls in Can Can, called and invited me to the show on Saturday, and I called Tom Cashin to find out if Jed was going, because if he was I didn’t want to go. Donna’s the girl from Best Little Whorehouse who Tom was seeing during the show. She understudies the other girl, and on Thursdays she does a real role.
Faye from Halston’s called and wanted to know if I wanted to be his date for the opening of Little Foxes on May 7, but that’s Jon’s birthday. So I asked Faye if I could have an extra ticket because it would solve a birthday problem. Faye didn’t sound too happy, I think Halston really wanted to go with just me.
Thursday, April 30, 1981
Went to 667 Madison to Janet Sartin’s for a facial. I got shoved in a room and a fat lady made me take off all my clothes. So then Janet came in and said, “This young lady will do you,” and this young lady was about sixty-five. She put a hot towel on me and it was l
ike heaven. Janet looks good—her face is pretty—but she has a lot of crow’s feet. And I think it’s because she believes in astringent—I’m sure that dries it out. She told me she does Bianca and I said, “Bianca has the greatest skin,” and she said, “That’s my skin!”
Nena and Aurora’s brother, Agosto, came down to the office, the one who’s small and adorable who was a Marine. Vincent talked to him about a job.
Went home then picked up Jon (cab $4, tickets $60) and went to the Minskoff.
At Can Can we had good seats, in the same row as Ethel Merman. I told Ethel I wanted to see her back up there. And then we ran into Donald Trump and the dollar-a-year man for the city who has the building company, Walsh, and their wives. And it was so much fun to see Donald Trump again so soon in a different place. And I chit-chatted with the Czechoslovakian wife, and Jon Gould chit-chatted with Trump. I love going out with Jon because it’s like being on a real date—he’s tall and strong and I feel that he can take care of me. And it’s exciting because he acts straight so I’m sure people think he is.
When I got home there was a note from Jenette Kahn to call her when I got in, no matter what time, so I did, and she said Sharon Hammond was getting married to her lord the next day at 5:00 and I was invited to the reception from 6:00 to 12:00.
Monday, May 4, 1981
I had a death threat, I’ll get to it.
I ran over to Janet Sartin’s for my appointment. Then she came in and said, “Oh darling, your office called about ten minutes ago, Vincent and Robyn, and they said it’s very important.” So I called them back and they said that that kid Joey Sutton had called forty times. And he’d sent me a note last week—Vincent didn’t open it, I did—that said: “Beware of May 5, it’s Live or Die.” He’s been hallucinating a theory that I stole Mick Jagger’s song “Miss You” from him and gave it to Mick Jagger to record. I don’t know what he’s talking about … I don’t even know if this kid really writes songs. He’s … disturbed.
So after Janet Sartin I went to Sporting World to buy a hat to disguise myself. I got a camouflage hunter’s hat ($27). Made phone calls ($2). Called Jon to tell him someone was threatening my life and when I finally got him (laughs) he didn’t care. People were still asking for autographs, though, so I bought more disguises ($15.74) and then cabbed to Park and 18th ($5.50). Robyn was waiting for me there. A Detective Rooney or something like that from the NYPD came over. And Risa Dickstein, she’s Interview’s lawyer, said she has a detective we can hire, but I’m going to hire Agosto to be my bodyguard and go places with me.
Anyway, I wrapped some presents and then was picked up by Jon Gould and we went to La Grenouille to meet Chris Makos and Peter Wise (cab $6). The place was crowded with funny Miami Beach people. We got an up-front table. And all the other people in the restaurant were jealous because we were having so much fun, they wanted to join the party. We’d brought gifts for each other and we were opening our gifts. For dessert we ordered two souffles and champagne. And money is the best gift so I gave Jon and Peter each $100 in one-dollar bills. And I also gave Peter $25 rolls of pennies which were so heavy. And Jon I gave $80 of Susan B. Anthony dollars. Jon gave Peter a teapot and a big mixing bowl. I gave them all silver clothespins for their letters. We were there till about midnight having a good time, and we were blowing bubbles and Marcel the captain got a little mad at that (dinner $400).
Tuesday, May 5, 1981
Vincent hired some security. He didn’t want me to come to the office, but I had work to do.
Peter Wise told me that I should get a bulletproof vest, that he knew where you could get them. I was a chatterbox because I was nervous. Went down to 11th and University Place to a funny shop on the second floor (cab $6). Peter had called Christopher to meet me there and take photographs. I bought a bulletproof vest ($270). The guy was really creepy, he said his business had really soared after the Reagan thing. He had dresses and coats and everything bulletproof, and there was a sports jacket I asked him to hold for me, that I’d come back and pick up, and it seems really warm for winter, too. We asked him what else he had, and he said he wouldn’t say in front of the media, because a journalist from Stern came there with us, so Christopher can’t wait to go back there to see what he’s got that he wouldn’t say. Then Christopher had his bike downstairs but I couldn’t even get on it, with my backpack. I called Jay Shriver at the office and he came to meet me around the back of the building. Went up in the freight elevator.
Then it was the busiest day ever. The cop we rented couldn’t believe all the freaks we have up there. And there’s always some new girl at Interview who’ll buzz anybody in. I called Jon at Paramount, he was in meetings. Bob didn’t come down to the office.
Brigid’s jealous because I’ve lost all this weight, but she looks better with her face filled in a little. She got rid of her cat Billy because he was sick with a virus so she’s heartless and cruel. I told her, “You’re no good.” And she just says she doesn’t want to talk about it, she’s waiting for a new cat to come in at the store.
Jackie Curtis came up and she just has dyed hair, but short. He’d been to Gstaad and had a really handsome boyfriend with her, I don’t know how she does it, and she’s fat and smelled of liquor and she was limping so it was really pathetic. She brought me a shopping bag. [Note: when Andy talked about men who wore women’s clothes or makeup, he would randomly refer to them as “he” or “she.”]
Oh, and that guy at that shop said he made a bulletproof raincoat for the pope. And disguises don’t seem to work for me—I’m going to get a fisherman’s hat tomorrow. I think that’s the best, like Mr. Winters used to wear.
Picked up Jon on the corner of 18th between Eighth and Ninth and we went to Chris Makos’s on Waverly Place (cab $9). Found a Citibank machine and Jon used it, and I’ve never done one before and it’s so exciting, it asks you questions.
Wednesday, May 6, 1981
I called Jay Shriver at the office and he came downstairs to meet me and get me in safely, and the place was busy with people. Lunch was for Sylvia Miles and she was already there.
Jon called and said that he was trying to get a reservation for his Gulf + Western boss Charles Bluhdorn who wanted to take Barry Diller to dinner at “87” and he wanted to know if I could help him. It’s a new restaurant and it’s very small and hard to get into. But I mean, no restaurant’s that big a deal. So I called Henry Geldzahler, the commish, and he said that okay he would call and try but only because Charles Bluhdorn had given $2 million to the city last year. So he tried and they said it was impossible. So I called Jon back and he was thinking he was going to lose his job, but then Bluhdorn cancelled the dinner anyway.
Cab to the Ritz ($4). Neil Bogart was giving a Prom Night party. Downstairs one of those boring fans was dancing and smoking joints and acting crazy, and he wanted to come upstairs with me but he didn’t have a pass. I decided to have a hot dog, it was Nathan’s, it was good. And then that kid somehow got up and was sitting with us, and then Eva, the lady journalist from Stern, did a great thing—she started telling him that she didn’t know what she was doing with the Andy Warhol double. She said she was a second-string reporter at Stern and they didn’t even get her the real Andy Warhol to interview, they got her the double, and what was she doing in such a second-rate position, and somehow he believed her, he just got right up and left, and he wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the night. He thought I was a fake Andy Warhol. Isn’t that great? Then we left and I invited the German lady to Xenon for Grace Jones’s show.
Thursday, May 7, 1981
Cab to Mercer Street to have my pictures taken with my Myth prints (cab $8). Rupert was waiting on the street corner because he wasn’t sure where to go. The people from Stern were already there. They just put me in front of the Myths, and I almost threw up, they looked so sixties. I’m not kidding, they really did.
Glued myself together and picked up Jon Gould and we went to the theater to see Little Foxes, and there was the bi
ggest crowd. We had first-row seats, in front of Halston and Liza and Mark. Liz Taylor’s mother was there, she was cute, like Janet Gaynor. Lots and lots of curtain calls, they would’ve gone on forever. They dragged Lillian Hellman onstage. Then we went backstage. Senator Warner said hi to me. I told the colored maid how great she was and so was Dennis Christopher.
Jon and I left and went to the birthday party that Lady McCrady was giving for him at 15 or 17 Park Avenue, which is actually the backyard of where I used to live in Murray Hill. And I was talking to this blonde girl for a while and this guy said, “I bet you don’t know who you were talking to,” and I said no, that I didn’t, and he said, “That’s Rita Jenrette, the congressman’s wife who posed for Playboy.” She said she lives smack in Harlem—I guess either she has no money or a black boyfriend. She’s really kooky and really bright. Jon dropped me home and he came in for five minutes and then he left.
Sunday, May 10, 1981
Tried calling Jon several times. Then I went to Ron Link’s play, and as soon as I got home, Jon called, but I was so upset by that time that I couldn’t even talk. Went to bed at 12:30.
Monday, May 11, 1981
Made an appointment with Doc Cox for Tuesday because my weight is so down and I don’t want to get sick. 120.
Bob had arranged for us to go to a dinner that Earl Blackwell and Eugenia Sheppard were setting up for the Sacklers. I got a limo and was asked to bring a girl so I picked up Barbara Allen and we went to Doubles. I had a black tie on but I should have worn black pants because I had jeans on and those waiters were all looking at me funny. It was a really heavy-duty dinner. All the right people were there. Andy Stein was there and I told him if he wanted to have really beautiful skin he should go to Janet Sartin, and he told me I should go to his gym place, so we’re going to exchange numbers.
