Whenever Sasha was stressed out about what was going on in her home, she would work her stress out on the slot machines at the casino. Then she would be calling me saying that she was more stressed out because she blew her money. But lately, she had stopped going to the casino and started going to the clubs to drink hard liquor. I loved my cousins, but they had their issues, and I’m sure my issues weren’t as bad as theirs. All I needed to do was get Rodney to understand that I was the only woman that he needed in his life.
* * *
As I sat at the bar, I hoped I wouldn’t bump into Rodney because if I saw him, I knew I might’ve become weak to his sexual desire. I thought about him daily, and I yearned for his touch. It’s been two years since I had been sexually involved with any man, and I wanted to save myself for that man that I wanted to marry. I was trying to stay strong because I wasn’t going to keep letting him play with my emotions. But I just couldn’t keep him off of my mind.
How did I get here? I remember when I met Rodney at this very club, a few years ago. He’d told me that he had a girlfriend, but his relationship was on the rocks. I kept it cool because I didn’t mess with other women’s men. My cousin Sasha introduced me to him because he told her he had been peeping me out when I came to the club, and he wanted to meet me.
Rodney was undeniably a catch. He was tall and wore a size fourteen shoe. His hair was cut in a tight fade that complemented his smooth, caramel skin and tapered goatee. His swag was like no other, and the brotha was confident with it. You know what they say about tall men with big feet. And the saying was so true when it came to Rodney.
I took his number, and we talked on the phone, getting to know each other very well. We always saw each other at Club Headliners, and every time I bumped into him, he would be in my grill all night like he didn’t have a woman at home. We would talk, dance, and he would buy me and my girls drinks for the whole night. That went on for a few months.
Then he came to me and told me that he and his girl broke up. He said that they just wanted to go their separate ways. I told him I was sorry to hear that, but that was a lie. Because all the time we spent together at the club and all the conversations we had on the phone, I was ready to be his woman. But I wasn’t going to let him in that easy. He was going to have to work for this.
He had just gotten out of a relationship, and I wasn’t going to be his jump-off chick. I didn’t work that way. If we weren’t in a relationship, we were not going to be having sex. I told him that it was cool for us to go on dates since he was a single man. We went to the movies and dinner every other night. We were so inseparable at the club that people thought that we were a couple. That went on for a whole year. I enjoyed the attention that he gave me because I knew the ladies wanted him, but I was the one with him. He was well known around town, so he would speak to chicks when we were out, but they definitely knew that he was into me. I finally had sex with him, and it was amazing. I thought that was when we made our relationship official. I introduced him to my daughter, and she loved him too.
“Mel, look over there. Yo’ boo just walked in the club,” Sasha said, snapping me from my past and into the present.
I glanced over toward the entrance, and there he stood, all six feet three inches of fineness. When he smiled, I melted like hot butter. He looked good, even if he had on a white tee and sweatpants. I hurriedly turned my head back the other way. I didn’t want him to see me looking at him. I wanted him to come over to me and flirt with me like he always did. I wanted to play hard to get.
I was on my fourth margarita, and I took it to the head. I could feel my insides tingle. Tonight it wouldn’t be too hard for him to get me. I wanted him so badly I made myself sick thinking about how he made me feel behind closed doors. I loved him, and I wished that he would see that I was all he needed. I wanted him to want me like I wanted him, and not just sexually. But I was human, and I needed to get laid. I was going to make him love me. Just looking at him walk through the doors of the club sent butterflies to my stomach as waves of euphoria filled my body.
Lord, please give me strength to keep my legs closed to Rodney Hampton.
3
Asia
I’ve had my share of men in my life. I loved me some black men. My mom once told me, once you go black, you never go back. I kind of followed in her footsteps. My oldest son’s father is white, but my last two children’s fathers are black. My mother was exactly right, because I would take a black man, either light chocolate or dark chocolate, it didn’t matter to me; they were all packing. The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice is what I learned from Tupac, one of the illest black rappers out here.
* * *
When Sasha, Melody, and I kicked it at the clubs, people were surprised when I told them we were cousins because Melody and Sasha are black, and I’m a blond-haired, blue-eyed white chick, with no ass at all. My mother married into their family, and they treated me like I was blood.
One thing I always envied growing up was that Melody and Sasha had nice plump behinds; not too big but just right. Every boy in our high school would tell them how nice their figures were. But the boys seemed to always skip past me and act like I wasn’t even there, with my belly protruding over my jeans and my jeans sagging over my flat behind. I’d always been on the chubby side ever since I was a baby. I get it from my mother. She was big boned, and she loved to cook.
I was so happy when I saw a commercial advertisement on TV about butt pads and the waist trainers. I asked my mother for her credit card and called the number on the screen and ordered the garments. I couldn’t wait for the package to be delivered to my doorstep. My body was banging just like Melody and Sasha’s. With my belly rolls tucked away and the butt pads, I was looking bootylicious. Beyoncé had better watch out.
“Angel, if you don’t get your funky, boney feet off my couch, I’ma break both yo’ ankles. I ain’t raised no animals, so stop acting like one!” I yelled at my middle child. People have told me that I’m a mean-spirited person to my kids, and, in general, but they are just sensitive. My kids were giving me gray hairs, and I was only thirty-four years old. What had I gotten myself into? I loved my three kids, but they were bad as hell. And none of their daddies were around to help.
My oldest child, Joey, had a father that had gotten married and was playing house with his wife and her children. My daughter Angel’s father, Steve, was in prison, and my baby girl, Alexa, had a father, Delroy, that had just moved out of town. He said he needed to get away because his life was too stressful in Ohio. But let the truth be told, he moved as soon as he was told by the courts to pay child support.
I had some sorry baby daddies. Truth be told, I couldn’t stand Joey or my baby girl Alexa ’cause they both looked like their good-for-nothing pappies. But, Angel, we got along because she looked just like me.
I tried raising my kids the best way I knew how, but I was starting to lose it. With me being a full-time Realtor and mom, something had to give. My doctor said that I may have been going through postpartum depression. She wanted to prescribe me some pills to help me calm down so I could function better, but I wasn’t about to become addicted to popping no pills. Those doctors killed me. Their remedy to all their patients’ problems was to prescribe some pills that would make them crazier with all the darn side effects. Those prescriptions had every side effect that you could think of. They should’ve just written on the bottle, “This Medication Will Kill You Slowly.”
“Joey, what the heck is going on in there? It sounds like you in there tearing up when you are supposed to be cleaning up,” I yelled at my twelve-year-old son who was in the kitchen washing dishes.
“Sorry, Ma, the glass slipped out of my hand. I’ll clean it up.”
“You’re the clumsiest doe-doe I know. Ya darn right you gonna clean it up,” I snapped.
It seemed like every week I was buying new dishes because if my kids weren’t breaking them, they were throwing them in the garbage. If they kept on playing with
me, they would be eating off of paper plates and Styrofoam cups. At times, I couldn’t stand my son. He was so lazy. He didn’t want to do nothing but sit around and play his video games. And on top of that, he was starting to look just like his stupid daddy. I despised that man for leaving me and getting married to a chick he met on BlackSinglesMeet.com. He wasn’t even black. I don’t know how that happened. Maybe he was lying about how they met.
My phone rang. I looked at the caller ID. It was my middle child’s father calling me from prison. Steve was getting out soon, and I knew he wanted to come and shack up with me and my kids. I did want my kids to have that father role model, and he was Angel’s father, but I was seeing someone else, and I didn’t really want to be bothered with him. Plus, I didn’t know how he would feel about me having another baby while he was locked up. He told me he was hurt and would have to just deal with it. But he was saying that over the phone. I wanted to see how he would be in reality when he got out.
“Hello,” I spoke into the receiver. I sat and listened to the operator; then I heard Steve’s voice.
“Hey, Asia. How are you and the kids doing?” He sounded all pitiful.
“We good, how are you doing?” I knew that was a dumb question since he was locked up and all.
“I’m cool. I’ll be getting out in a few weeks. I can’t wait to see you, Angel, and the other kids.”
“Yeah, Angel misses you.”
Steve had been locked up for two years, and our daughter, Angel, was six years old. That’s all she talked about, how much she couldn’t wait to see her dad again. I didn’t take her to see him in prison, but I allowed her to speak to him over the phone.
“Asia, I know I wasn’t right when I was out, but when I come home, I’m going to be a good man to you. I’m going to find me a job, and I am gonna hold you down like you been holding me down since I’ve been in the joint.”
Yeah, yeah, whatever! He was talking that jail talk, about how good it was going be when he got out. Jobs were hard to come by. He would be lucky to even find a job that paid minimum wage.
Steve was a good father and a good man, but I had fallen out of love with him. I’d kinda gotten bored with him. He wasn’t spontaneous. I was. I wasn’t the type to bite my tongue. He was. They say that opposites attract, and we were definitely opposites. We had our daughter from a one-night stand, so I just dealt with him being the father of my child. But since he was getting out soon, he swore up and down that he loved me and always did. He said he wanted to make it work between us. I just didn’t know how to tell him I was seeing someone else.
Yes, I had been putting money on his books every week and making sure he had the stuff he needed, hoping that we could be together when he got out. But about a month ago, I met Lance, and when I tell you the brotha was fine, that was an understatement. His body was toned like no other, and when he smiled and showed off his perfectly white teeth, he would mesmerize you from miles away. Maybe because that’s all you saw were his teeth in the dark because he was so dark, but that’s the way I liked them. He was smart and intelligent, and I had a lot of fun with him. Did I forget to mention that the sex was magnificent? Just thinking about him made my toes curl.
“Asia, you still there? We only got one minute left,” Steve said, breaking my thoughts.
“I’m still here,” I stuttered, trying to get Lance out of my mind.
“Are you gonna be happy to see me?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said, not enthused at all.
“Okay, babe. I’ll see you in a few weeks. Give Angel a kiss for me and tell Joey I said hello. And, Asia, I love you,” he said before the call was disconnected.
When I hung up the phone, I realized that he never acknowledged Alexa, my daughter that I conceived while he was locked up. I had to break it to him as soon as he got out of jail that this wouldn’t work. I may have yelled at my kids, I may have said bad things about their dad in front of them, I may have even called them out of their name a few times, but I would never put any man before my children. If Steve couldn’t come to grips with me having three kids instead of the two I had when he went away, then he was gonna have to step. But then, if he did accept Alexa, what would I tell Lance? I didn’t know what I wanted, I was so torn.
4
Melody
The sun shined brightly through the large window that was on the side of the bed. I turned and looked at the man that was sound asleep next to me. All I could think about was the long night of intense lovemaking we had.
“Hey, sexy,” he crept up from behind me.
I turned my head to the side, and there he stood, his hypnotic cologne filled my nose, and I wanted to dive into his arms. I acted like I didn’t see him when he entered the club. “Hey, Rodney. How long you been here?” I smiled seductively.
“I just got here. Can I have a hug?”
Being in his presence made me shake in my bones. I twirled my seat around, reached out to him, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. My whole body shivered from the touch of his lips. I needed to get it together. I needed to control myself before I exploded with ecstasy.
“You are looking good enough to eat,” he licked his lips.
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Stop it.” I playfully shoved his arm. He knew how to turn me on with his words.
He got the bartender’s attention, told her to get him a Long Island Iced Tea and get me and my girls whatever we wanted. “You want something to eat?” He asked, his eyes danced when they looked into mine.
Stop looking at me. You are making me hot. “Yes, some chicken and fries, please.” I could feel sweat running down my chest. That was not sexy at all. I needed to go cool myself off.
“Okay, I’ll go order it.” I watched him as he walked away. I was filled with glee, like a teenage girl on her first date. The man did something to me, and I couldn’t control myself.
Sasha, Asia, and I chitchatted and listened to the music while we sipped on our drinks. Rodney stood right behind me the whole time like the hulk, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
“I miss you so much.” He blew hot air in my ear and on my neck. He knew exactly what he was doing.
I looked him in his eyes and gave him a looked that said whatever.
“No, I’m serious. I want you.” He was in my ear again. His words had my insides tingling. I tried to stay in control of my emotions, but I seemed to be losing the battle.
“Rodney, you already know how I roll. I am not going let you play with my emotions any longer,” I said seriously, talking over the music, looking dead in his eyes.
“Mel, I don’t have a girl. I want you. I miss you. Babe, I love you. Can I please have you?” He rubbed his hand up my thigh discreetly.
He had done enough. His touch was what I wanted at that moment, and my mind was made up. I told my girls that I would call them the next day; then Rodney and I left the club.
“Are you driving?” I asked.
“Nope, my truck is in the shop,” he said.
He followed me to my car, and I pulled off. “We going to your house?” I asked.
“No, my bathroom is messed up. My pipes are backed up,” he said.
“What that got to do with me coming over?” I asked.
“Let’s go to your place,” he blurted out.
“My daughter is there.”
“Well, let’s go to a hotel.”
We pulled up to a hotel, and he asked me to go in and get the room because he was too tipsy. He gave me the money to pay for the room. When I got back in the car, I saw the light on my phone. No, he wasn’t looking through my phone. I smiled, knowing that he was checking up on me. I didn’t say a word about the phone. “Do you have protection?” I asked.
“Nope.”
I sighed, then drove to the gas station to get some condoms. We were finally in the hotel room, and I knew what I wanted wasn’t right. I had been doing so well. I had been celibate for two years, a
nd I promised myself that I wasn’t going to have sex again until I found that right guy. But deep in my heart, I wanted Rodney to be the right one.
So in my mind, I thought once I gave him the good lovin’, he would want to commit to me, and we would be together. We had been knowing each other a long time, and he knew I was a good woman. I had a good job, I took care of my business, and he knew how I felt about him. So what else did the brotha need? Nothing, because I was going to give him whatever he wanted, without asking. I knew that he cared for me too.
After I put my purse down on the chair that was in front of the bed, Rodney came up to me and kissed my lips slowly. I wanted to melt in his arms. We stood in the middle of the room kissing for a few seconds; then he removed his lips from mine. He planted wet kisses on the left side of my neck, and then the right side. He then cuffed my butt in his large, masculine hands. My panties instantly became moistened. He unbuttoned the few buttons on the back of my dress; then he slowly pulled the dress down below my breasts, then below my waist. As he did that, he looked at my body as if it was a feast that he was about to dig into.
“Babe, your body is so sexy,” he panted.
My heart beat at a fast pace because I was excited about what was about to go down. We had been down that road many times, and every time he knew exactly how to satisfy my needs.
“I want you so bad,” he said right before he kissed me below my navel. Then he went lower until he reached my hot spot. I moaned.
After he came back up for air, he laid my body down on the bed and tore his clothes off as if they were on fire in his rush to get to me. I watched as he placed the condom over his swollen manhood. I shivered when I felt the tip of his manhood rub against my inner thigh. I inhaled as he slid in slowly, stretching out my insides. His thrusts were slow, just how I liked it. He knew what I needed, and he gave it to me. And then we climaxed together, forcing me to cry out his name as a single tear fell from my eyes. The tear did not come from a sad place. The man had me mesmerized, and I loved him with all my being.
No Perfect Affair Page 2
