“I’m not sure I do. She’s my daughter and I can get behind you telling me that you saw something in her that was great, but as far as seeing her as better than Eric or any of the others in my class, I can’t agree.”
“I didn’t think you would. I was just saying what I thought. What happened to her, what Amy did to her or tried to do in the bathroom, that’s when I knew for sure that things had to change. I had to change, all of it just had to change. She never should have been in that bathroom or even in Amy’s line of fire. I was the one that put her there and that day, I made a decision to fix it.”
“Dillon, before you go on, can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.” I answer easily. I’m standing here in her kitchen, opening up in a way that I haven’t done in years because I want to start fixing things that I’ve spent years breaking, the least I can do for being allowed this chance is to answer whatever questions she has.
“Did you tell Amy to do that to Cadence? The reason I ask is because you seem awfully guilty for someone that didn’t have a hand in what took place.”
“After Amy ran her off, I took off too. I didn’t know Amy was going to do that though I should have seen it coming knowing her the way I do. You see guilt because I’m the one that threw her into it. Even if I didn’t do it, I’m the reason it happened. I’m going to feel bad about that because it’s not right.”
“Well, I have to say, it all makes sense now.”
Now she has me stumped. I’m not sure what makes sense to her, but I’m definitely curious.
“What does?”
“My daughter. She saw something that I just couldn’t allow myself to see because of history.”
“I still don’t understand.”
“Dillon; right from the first day, she has done nothing but defend you at every turn. Even when I told her last night to stay away from you or I would force her hand and keep her in the class with me during breaks, she didn’t back down. It makes sense now. She was defending you because for the first time, you’re worthy of it.”
Cadence has been defending me the entire time? I know that I came here with no expectations, but I can’t deny that I also came with a small hope I’d be able to get through to the woman and have this work in my favor. I just had no idea that I’d be getting this too.
“Is this change in you because of Cadence? Are you doing this so that you can get close to her the way you did with Isabelle and hurt her?”
“No. Not at all.”
“I am aware of Eric and the way he feels for Cadence, so if this is your attempt at attacking that because you believe he is the reason you were punished to begin with, it needs to stop.”
“Ms. T, what I’m doing here, what I’m trying to tell you; it has to do with Cadence, but it’s not because I’m trying to use her. It’s because being around her, it makes me want to be better.”
“You mean that don’t you?”
“Yes ma’am.”
That may have been the first time I ever called an adult ma’am and I can tell by the look on her face that it was the last thing she was expecting to hear.
“Until Kayden told me, I didn’t even know Cadence was deaf. I had no idea that she was your daughter. All I knew was that there was this gorgeous girl in your class that no matter what I did, wouldn’t stop busting my balls. Um—I’m sorry about the language.”
She laughs and I let myself relax. If she’s not going to ride me about my language that I’m not gonna spend so much time stressing out about it. It’s not really what’s important anyway.
“Here’s what you need to realize, Dillon. I am fiercely protective of my students, but even more so with Cadence. I’m sure you can understand why that is. I will not allow you to hurt her or get close enough to even try. I believe what you’ve told me. I think that for whatever reason, my daughter has somehow gotten to you, made you see something that until now you haven’t been willing to, but that does not mean I trust you. Actions speak much louder than words and if you mean what you’re saying to me now, then this is your one chance to prove it.”
“Does that mean what I think it means?”
“Yes. Cadence sees something in you, something that honestly, I just can’t see. I’m going to trust my daughter and take a step back. It doesn’t mean I’m not watching you because son, I won’t ever stop watching you, but I am willing to give you a chance.”
~*~*~
I’m pretty sure in giving me a chance, she wasn’t giving me her blessing to do what I’m about to do when class lets out, but that’s something I’m just going to have to deal with when the times comes and not focus so much on right now.
I want Cadence to be mine.
Hearing her mom talk about Eric and the way he feels about her, it got me thinking about what I would do if he somehow got close enough during this fresh start to ask her out and she accepted. I’m pretty sure I’d lose it and not in a good way. I would end up doing something stupid since it’s what I’m good at and wanting to make things right with her would be completely blown to shit.
I can’t risk that happening, which means I’ve got to jump a few steps ahead in this new beginning and do the one thing that I’ve secretly wanted to do since she put her lips on mine at the ravine a few days before.
I’ve got to make Cadence Taylor my girlfriend.
Chapter Sixteen
Cadence
Something’s going on.
About ten minutes before class ends, Dillon jumps up out of his seat and heads to the front of the room. I can see that he’s talking to my mom about something and she’s answering him back, but it’s only toward the end of the conversation that I see it. I don’t believe it, so of course I start rubbing at my eyes in an attempt to make sure I’m actually witnessing what I think I am.
My mom is smiling at him.
I’m determined to ask him about it the minute he comes back and sits down, but the more time that passes without him heading back, I start to realize that I’m not going to get to ask until I meet him for lunch.
When everyone starts moving out of their seats, I throw my book, all the paper I’ve been using to answer Dillon and my pen into my bag and make a mad dash for the door. Before I can head out though, my mom stops me and when I turn around to face her, she’s wearing the same smile from earlier and she hands me a paper.
If it wasn’t weird enough seeing her smile at Dillon earlier, it’s even weirder now.
Thinking that something was going on is confirmed the minute I open the paper and see Dillon’s handwriting on the page. It also gives me answers that I didn’t even know I needed. Where I thought he’d be out in the hall waiting for me when I was done with my mom, I now know different.
Caddy, there’s something I gotta do for my coach. It’s gonna take a few minutes, can you meet me at the ravine?
Looking up at my mom, hoping in some way that she’s got answers for me, she smiles at me again and motions her hand toward the door.
“He told me that he wanted to take you to lunch. I’m okay with it, but if you don’t go now, you’re not going to get back here in time for class and this time Caddy, you’re going to be here when class starts.”
Her wearing the smile the way she is totally destroys any hope she had of coming off halfway serious so I just ball the paper up and toss it in the bin before doing exactly what she said and heading out, my destination clear.
If he’s gotta deal with something with the coach then I’ll play along with him for now. I’ll go to the ravine even though I can’t help thinking that this is Dillon reverting back to the way he was when I first met him and doing it is gonna lead to me getting hurt. I trust him, despite his past giving me more than enough proof that I shouldn’t and even thinking that he would hurt me is enough to turn my stomach, but I can’t help it.
The last thing I want after the morning I’ve had is for him to turn it all around and hurt me. Not even my mom smiling before I walk out can erase the unease I feel a
s I make my way down the stairs and out the side door, each step bringing me closer to what’s going to be waiting for me the minute he gets there.
Crossing the field in record time, I turn onto the main street until I see the entrance and veering off the actual pathway, I decide to walk through the trees this time, moving along with them as they blow around me. It’s only when I come out through the final cluster of them that I see something I hadn’t been expecting.
Dillon is standing about halfway down the bike path, beside a large rock and there’s a can of something I can’t quite make out in his hands. The closer I get to him, I see what he’s holding and the confusion I felt at seeing him standing there alone is amplified even more.
What he’s doing with a can of spray paint when he has to know it’s against the law to tag here is beyond me, but it doesn’t take me long to find out.
“So I lied.” He says the minute I’m close enough to read his lips.
“I see that.”
“Don’t be mad okay? I swear there’s a reason for it and for bringing your mom into it too, though she doesn’t exactly know the real reason I needed her help.”
“Okay.”
He’s not making any sense, but it’s something I’m getting used to with him. The way he is now reminds me of the way he’d been when he wrote me that note a few days ago. He’s all over the place, but he won’t stay that way forever.
“Spray paint?” I ask, pointing to the can, and the minute I do his eyes light up and he looks down at it with a smile, something that again does nothing but confuse me. What exactly is so great about an aerosol can that can make him light up this way?
“Yeah, spray paint. I’ll get to that, but first, there’s something I gotta ask you.”
He points to the rock he’s standing beside and then looks back at me, the smile even brighter than it was a minute ago.
“Sit please.”
Doing as he says and watching as he sits down beside me, the knees of our jeans touching the minute he does, he turns to me, reaching out and taking my hand and placing it in his own before looking up and locking his eyes on mine.
“I’ve got two questions for you.”
“Okay.”
“The last time we were here, I totally misunderstood what you were trying to say and you spoke to me. You also did something else and I haven’t been able to get it out my head ever since even though I acted like a total ass. What I want to know is, if you had the chance to do it all over would you still do it the way you did?”
If he’s asking if I would kiss him again, I think that should be pretty obvious, but since it seems like it’s only obvious to me, I nod and hope that’s a good enough answer for him.
“Okay good. That means what I’m about to ask you won’t be a total fail.”
I tip my head to the side in confusion and he laughs.
“Caddy, can you promise me something?” he asks, the laughter gone and his face growing more serious by the second.
“Okay.”
“Promise me that when I ask you what I’m about to ask, that you don’t give me the answer you think I wanna hear, but the real answer you want to give.”
I don’t want to admit it but with how serious he is about this, I’m starting to feel a little scared. Whatever it is that he’s about to ask me, it’s big enough that it’s throwing his normal confidence off course and I’m not sure how good I feel about hearing anything that does that. He shouldn’t have to feel awkward, least of all with me.
“Okay.” I answer though I’m pretty sure by now he already knows what my answer is going to be. I’ve been saying nothing but okay since I got here.
“That day in the bathroom when I yelled at you, I caught you in the hall crying after I brought you back from here. You were breaking because of me in the middle of a hallway full of people and there was just something so wrong about it. Being with me, wanting what you did that day; that should have been what broke you, not me pushing you away. Ugh, this isn’t coming out right. Let me start over.”
He takes a breath and taking his other hand, the one that’s not wrapped around mine he starts fidgeting with his hair, whatever it is he’s trying to get out obviously harder for him then even he thought.
“What I’m trying to ask, it’s—ugh. I’m just gonna spit it out. Even though I’m no good for you and I’ll do something to completely blow this, will you go out with me?”
If I didn’t just witness him struggle so hard with it and I wasn’t so struck by everything he said before he got to the question, I would have used the dead air around us right now to laugh at him. He might be two years older and he might even have a whole lot more experience with dating then I do, since I have none at all, but even someone like me could have taken less time to ask someone out.
“Please say something.” He says and all I do is smile at him. The smile, I do it for two reasons. It’s the only thing keeping me from cracking up at him, but it’s also supposed to offer him some security because right now, he looks scared.
There is just something so wrong about the quarterback of the football team scared. It’s just something that should never happen considering he gets knocked on his butt by some pretty big looking guys every time he plays.
“Yes.”
“Yes, you’ll go out with me?”
I can take going out two different ways. He could be asking me to be his girlfriend or he could be more literal with it and asking me out on a date so that he can see if I’m girlfriend material. No matter what way he’s asking, the answer isn’t going to change, though I’m starting to get now why he said that he didn’t tell my mom the truth.
I‘m not sure her understanding of Dillon and her willingness to give him a chance extends to him being with me in any other way then friendship. This is definitely not going to go over good when she finds out.
“I’m already out with you Dillon.”
“Really Caddy? You’re gonna choose now to be a smartass?” he asks, struggling to keep his face straight and failing as he starts to laugh.
“I stopped being one?” I ask playfully and as he laughs again, his head dips down to our hands, both still resting together, wrapped in each other, but not quite linked. I see his lips move but I can’t make out what he’s saying and by the time he looks up again, I’m pouting and his eyes scrunch in.
“Shit. I screwed up already?”
“I wanted to hear what you said but I couldn’t read.”
Understanding crosses his eyes and he leans back a little but not enough to break away from the way our legs and hands are still touching, which comforts me. How quickly he jumped to the conclusion that he somehow did something wrong worries me. Even if he’s not asking me to be his girlfriend and he just wants the chance to take me out, I can’t have him questioning every step. It’s not right.
“I said that you never really stopped being a smartass and that I’m really glad you said yes.”
Here’s my chance to get answers. I need to know what I’m saying yes to, even if my answer doesn’t change. I want to know if when I go back to school today, I’m going back the same Cadence I was when I left or if I’m going back as Cadence, Dillon Murphy’s girlfriend. It might not seem like a big deal, but I’m no stranger to the way the world works, especially in high school. It matters a lot. It’s going to change everything.
“What am I saying yes to?”
Now it’s his turn to tip his head sideways in confusion and watching as he does it, it seems we’re pretty similar that way too. What started out as the same eye and hair color has now morphed into our movements being the same. It’s strange but cool at the same time.
“You don’t know what you said yes to?” he asks, again using his free hand and running it through his hair. “If you didn’t know, why did you say yes at all?”
“Because it’s yes no matter what.”
“For real?”
I nod and his hand falls from his hair and the smile is again lighting up his fa
ce. Right now, the way he’s sitting here, his lips lifted, his eyes shining, I’m pretty sure he’s giving the sun a run for its money. Not because he’s brighter than it or something cheesy like that, but because the way he looks right now rivals it in how important it is to me.
I spend a lot of time outside just watching and the best time to do that is during spring and summer when the sun is so high and bright in the sky that it just lights up everything around it. It’s kind of the same thing Dillon’s doing right now. He’s so bright that he’s lighting up everything around him, including me.
Maybe it’s cheesy after all.
“Will you be with me Caddy?”
Answering my question with one of his own, he’s given me exactly what I need. He doesn’t just want to go on a date with me, he wants to be with me. Gone is the awkwardness from before, even though the words he said still linger with me, and in its place is the confidence I’ve come to recognize as distinctly Dillon.
“Yes.”
His hand moves then, releasing mine and for a split second, my heart drops in my chest. Distance, even something as small as him moving his hand away doesn’t feel right. It’s only when both of his hands make their way around my back and my body moves forward that I realize what he’s doing.
He’s hugging me.
As the seconds pass wrapped tightly in his arms, the distance between us on the bench lessened considerably with the move, I enjoy the way it feels being this close to him. The scent of his sweat mixed with a cologne I can’t place wrapping itself around me as easily as his arms just had until the only thing I can sense in any way is him.
Pulling back just a little, he brings his hand to my face and running his finger in a small trail from my ear, all the way across my cheek, he comes to rest at my lips and looking up, I can see that his eyes are locked on the place where his finger lies and I find myself wondering what he’s thinking. Before I can open my mouth and ask him though, he leans down and presses his lips to mine and all thoughts, all questions fade away until all I can feel, taste and smell is him.
Hear Me Now Page 15
