Helen crossed to Jenny and gave her a hug. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done.”
“I’m going to miss you,” Jenny said, her voice catching. She was going to miss them, but she was going to miss so much more, too, if Silas sold the Rocky D. This family was heading toward their future, something better for all of them. But she didn’t know what was ahead for her, and as she took a glance at Zack there were no answers there.
Obviously putting aside what Silas had told them—maybe it was easier for him than for her—Zack said to Michael and Tanya, “Come with me. I want to show you that project I was working on.”
The two kids exchanged a glance and then grinned. “I thought you forgot,” Michael whispered to Zack in an aside that Jenny could hear.
“Not a chance.”
The two kids ran down the hall after him.
Jenny found out more about where the Larsons would be living. They really did seem happy as Stan slipped his arm around his wife’s waist. “Mr. Barrett told us he went to school with both you and Mr. Decker. He seems like a great guy. I mean, he owns this construction company, yet he acted like I was his equal.”
“Dawson remembers where he came from.”
They were talking about everything the kids would love about Phoenix when Zack, Michael and Tanya came back into the room, Michael swinging his backpack happily. They all wore smiles, though now Zack’s seemed a bit forced.
Ten minutes later, the Larsons were gone and it was just Zack and Jenny standing in the living room. “You did a wonderful thing for them,” Jenny said again.
Zack was sober. “Michael and Tanya told me they’re going to miss their friends, but then Michael added his parents have stopped fighting. That’s huge for a kid.”
She knew how huge that would have been for Zack. How his ideas of marriage would have been so different if his parents had had a different relationship.
Zack checked his watch as if the conversation had gotten too uncomfortable, or as if he wanted to shut it down before it did. “I have to make a few calls.”
“Zack, we have to talk.”
“I think we should wait until what Dad told us sinks in.”
“It’s already sunk in. If he does this, the Rocky D will be no more.”
Zack’s jaw tightened and his shoulders squared. “Don’t you think I realize that? I grew up here, Jenny. I learned to ride here. I gentled my first horse here. I shot my first video here.”
He’d first kissed her here, too. “Then you do care if he sells the ranch?”
“I care. But I don’t know if that means anything to him. I don’t know if it changes anything for me. Are you going to try to convince him not to sell?”
“Only you can do that. You’re the heir.”
“The heir? I haven’t thought of myself as that for years. You’re more of a daughter to him than I’ve ever been a son. If you want to stay, then you need to convince him not to sell. Here, you’re like a daughter. Somewhere else you’ll be an employee.”
“Do you want me to convince him so you don’t lose the Rocky D?”
When Zack didn’t answer, she just shook her head. “You say you love traveling. But I’m not so sure you like wandering any more than I do. If the sale of the Rocky D bothers you, have you asked yourself why?”
“Memories of my mother are here,” he said gruffly. “Memories of you and our friends are here. I hate to think we’ll lose who we once were to a retirement village.”
“Are you telling yourself you wouldn’t feel as bad if Silas were selling the Rocky D as is to someone who wanted to keep it going?”
“It wouldn’t be destroyed.”
“No, but it would be changed. No one will handle the Rocky D like your dad.”
“Before this visit I might have said that was a good thing. Now, I’m not so sure.”
Jenny couldn’t wait any longer to tell him what she needed to tell him but didn’t want to tell him. “I’m not pregnant. I got my period.”
Again he kept silent and Jenny knew Zack did that when he wanted to withdraw, when he didn’t want to show anyone his feelings. He was so good at not showing anyone his feelings.
Finally, he said, “That’s for the best.”
His calm and stoicism lit her anger. “For the best? For who? For you? So you don’t have to think about ties and commitment and what you really feel?”
His voice gentled as he asked, “Jenny, would you really want to have a baby this way?”
“What way? You mean without marriage? Without vows? Without a white dress and a picket fence? Maybe I’ll take a baby any way I can get one. Maybe I want your baby more than I want anything. But you’re leaving after the New Year and you’re going to treat us like an affair that never should have happened. I get it, Zack. You just don’t want the strings. Or if you want any strings, you want them to be all on your terms.”
She felt tears pushing against her eyes and she would not cry in front of him. She would not. The idea of losing Zack’s baby and the Rocky D all in one day was just too much. “I have work to do in the barn.” She started for the door.
“Jenny.”
But she couldn’t turn back. She couldn’t look at him and not ache so deep down in her heart. She didn’t know if she’d ever be without the pain again.
“Go make your calls, Zack. I’m going to spend as much time with the horses as I can, while I can.”
Then she was through the kitchen and out the back door before Zack could come after her. There would be no point in him coming after her…because he simply didn’t love her the way she loved him.
Zack had never felt so unsettled in his life. The foundation of his world seemed to be breaking apart and he didn’t understand it one bit. His life wasn’t here anymore, at the Rocky D. He’d been happy in California before he’d come.
Hadn’t he?
Or had a sense of restlessness nagged at him often the past couple of years? Had he buried himself in his work because the rest of his life was so barren? When Jenny had revealed she wasn’t pregnant, why had he suddenly felt the same way he had the night she’d told him about her miscarriage? Shaken up, different, wondering what his purpose was in being on this earth.
His movies had always been his purpose. If they weren’t enough anymore—
He rambled through the ranch house, memories from his life here floating back in every room. Maybe he needed to purge himself of them. That was all. Then his father’s selling the Rocky D wouldn’t mean anything.
The house was large. As he stepped into each room, he let movies play in his mind—his mother telling him stories and reading him books, her joy in arranging fresh roses in each room, her care in choosing furniture, decorations and the menu Martha would make. He even remembered times when she and his father had their heads together over a magazine, when they’d held hands walking to the barn, when they’d gone riding together on moonlit nights. They’d once loved each other deeply. Maybe his father just hadn’t known how to express it, or hadn’t felt worthy of it. Maybe as he grew older, he grew more desperate to reclaim his youth. Zack didn’t know when he had forgiven his father for his weaknesses. Maybe when he’d seen him lying in that hospital bed. Maybe when Jenny had pointed out his mother had made her own decisions and poor choices. Maybe when Zack realized his own life wasn’t what he wanted it to be. Jenny had seemed to understand that. She seemed to understand his ties to the Rocky D were stronger than he ever imagined. Where would she go if his father sold the Rocky D? To a ranch in Sedona? Would she come to California with him? Yet he didn’t want her doing that by default. Had he wanted her to choose him over his father and the land she loved? Had he wanted her to choose him without conditions? Rambling from room to room only made the churning in his chest more tumultuous.
Maybe he needed a session with Dusty. Maybe he just needed to escape the claustrophobic feeling that seemed to be hemming him in.
Jenny was in the mares’ barn when she heard a noise—a noise that didn�
��t belong. At first she thought it was the wind or the door banging, maybe a branch dislodged from a tree that had blown against one of the buildings. But then she heard it again…and a chill shivered up her spine. She’d been grooming one of the mares, trying to calm her turmoil, trying to make decisions with her head, along with her heart.
But nothing was clear. Nothing felt right. So she’d gotten into the rhythm of brushing and just concentrated on that. Now she slipped out of the stall, latched the door and ran to the side entrance.
The pounding was louder and she knew exactly where it was coming from—hooves against a stall door. Without a thought for anything but Dusty, she ran to the rescue barn, letting the wind whip around her, under her vest. She was barely mindful of the snow beginning to fall. The temperature was supposed to plummet tonight, and with the wind chill… She suspected exactly what had happened. One of the hands had thought he was being kind and instead he’d caused a disaster. Dusty needed his freedom as well as kindness. Maybe that’s why he and Zack understood each other so well.
The banging became louder, more desperate. Jenny was afraid for Dusty…afraid he would do irreparable damage to himself. He’d been hurt so badly in the past. She couldn’t bear to see him hurt again.
As snowflakes settled on the arms of her sweater, she didn’t think. She just felt for the horse and the panic that had probably overtaken him. Since Dusty had been going into his stall more often, one of the hands must have thought they’d do him a kindness and close him in there for the night against the cold, against the wind, against the snow. But Dusty was afraid to be closed in, afraid someone would hurt him while he was there.
Running into the barn, Jenny called Dusty’s name. He was kicking the outside stall door with all of his frantic desperation.
Jenny knew she had to get to that outside door and open it. Her boots sliding on the icy walkway, she rushed to the outside entrance to the corral and pushed open the door. She reached Dusty’s outside stall door and called to him again as her fingers fumbled on the latch.
Then it was open. But the force of wrenching it free made her slip on a patch of snow. She groped for something to hold on to. There was nothing there. Her legs went out from under her and she fell as Dusty reared up, his hooves hovering over her.
Zack heard the banging as soon as he’d stepped outside the house. Jogging to the corral, he climbed the fence in time to see Jenny unlatch Dusty’s stall door. His heart jumped into his throat as she slipped and fell. He’d never been so afraid in his entire life, never felt so helpless or powerless, never realized his whole life was wrapped around one blonde woman who had held his heart since high school.
“Jenny, roll! Oh, my God, roll!”
At the sound of Zack’s voice, Dusty rotated on his hind legs. Zack’s body thrummed with adrenaline and his thoughts skidded around his head until only one was very clear—if anything ever happened to Jenny his world would collapse. He raced to her, ready to protect her however he could.
Dusty’s hooves hit the ground about a foot from Jenny’s shoulder. As he galloped past them, Zack wrapped his arms around her, breathing hard, holding her close, so grateful for a second chance to do what he should have done fifteen years ago.
Jenny had held his heart all this time and now he wanted to hold hers. He wanted to keep her by his side for the rest of his life. In that one terrifying, unforgettable moment when Dusty had reared up, he’d known he deeply loved Jenny Farber. And he’d never love anyone else. At that moment he’d known all of his excuses, all of his pride, were simply defenses against being vulnerable.
Now, he’d never felt so vulnerable.
He pulled away, only far enough away to ask, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“No,” she said as breathless as he was, and he wondered if she could read in his eyes what he was feeling. Since he didn’t know if she could, he had to make it clear.
He kissed her. With snow swirling around, with the wind blowing, he held her tight and let his lips and tongue tell her everything he didn’t know if he could put into words.
But she pulled away, looked up at him and said, “I’m okay, Zack, really.”
She sounded confused, maybe by everything that had happened, maybe by his kiss.
“I love you, Jenny.”
Her eyes widened and he thought he heard a small gasp.
“When I saw you fall, when I thought of you getting hurt. When I even entertained the possibility I could lose you, I knew then I was being a stupid fool. I came home for the reunion because you called…because you said you needed me. But when I saw you, I couldn’t forget what had happened, couldn’t forgive, couldn’t understand.”
“I should have gone with you,” she said. “I should have trusted you.”
“You’d had no experience trusting a man’s word. We were young. We didn’t know where life was going to lead. And I shouldn’t have been so full of myself as to expect you to run off with me. Not after the childhood you’d had.”
“Zack, I loved you. I really did. When I lost your baby I didn’t know if I’d ever get over it. I tried so hard to forget you. I tried so hard to build a life here without you. But when you came back, I really had no defenses. It didn’t take me long to realize I’d fallen in love with you all over again.”
“This time everything’s going to be different,” he told her. “I’m going to move my editing studio here. I’m going to convince Dad not to sell the Rocky D and let the two of us run it. I do want to continue to make movies and I’ll have to be on location. But you can come with me if you want and I will always come home. Although I’ve tried to deny it all these years, Miners Bluff is my home. More important, you are my home. If Dad’s determined to sell, I’ll buy the ranch.”
“Zack, are you sure? Because if you want to live in California, I’ll go with you. I love you. You are my home, too.”
“We have a lot of talking to do. We’ll work it out. But whatever we decide, we’ll be together. And not just together.” He took her face between his palms. “Jenny Farber, will you marry me?”
“You said…”
“I said a lot of things. But now I’m feeling a lot more. I understand what vows mean. I understand the type of commitment you need. I need it, too. I want you to be my wife and I want to be your husband. And then I want to have lots of kids.”
She was crying now, and he felt his throat tightening up and his eyes burning. Not from the cold, either, but from the emotion he’d been trying to deny for so long. He buried his nose in her hair. “I have to get you inside before you turn into an icicle.”
She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Not before I give you an answer. I will marry you, Zack Decker. And I will always be your home.”
He kissed her again as the snow swirled around them, as Dusty took another run around the corral, as their love enveloped them and Christmas bells jingled on the barn door.
Epilogue
Zack paced in his father’s study, checking his watch. “He said he’d be here.”
“The weather’s bad, son. He might be having trouble on these roads. He still has half an hour.”
This Christmas Eve, when his father called him “son,” Zack felt like one. Maybe because he’d found the love he’d always needed, the love he never thought he’d have. Now, with Jenny’s help, he’d found a different perspective on his father and on his childhood. He and his dad finally seemed to understand each other. After much discussion, he and Jenny had decided to live at the Rocky D most of the year and use his house in Malibu as a getaway. Silas could keep his hand in the ranch if he wanted, but he could retire if he didn’t. The upside for him was that he could still live in the house on the land he loved, the house and land they all loved.
“This is why I didn’t tell Jenny I called him. I didn’t want her to be disappointed,” Zack said.
“You did what you could. The rest was up to him.”
There was commotion in the hall. Friends and family were arriving
and taking seats in the living room where their wedding ceremony would take place. Mikala, Celeste and Abby were down the hall with Jenny, helping her get dressed.
Clay peered in the door of the study. “I think someone’s here to see you.”
Charlie Farber walked in, his suit a bit mussed and wrinkled, but presentable. “I got here as soon as I could,” he said breathlessly. “The road from Sedona to Flagstaff was closed and I had to take the long way around.” He went over to Zack and extended his hand. “I know I congratulated you on the phone, but I want to do it again. And I want to thank you for calling me. I know Jenny didn’t because she didn’t want to ask me to come and then be disappointed.”
“You’re here,” Silas assured Charlie. “That’s what matters. I offered to walk your daughter down the aisle when she told me she and Zack were getting married. But she’s independent. She assured me she’d be giving herself away.”
“I have no right to play any part in this,” Charlie muttered. “I’ll just be grateful if she doesn’t throw me out. Can I see her now?”
“This way,” Zack directed, leaving Silas’s study and going down the hall with Charlie following.
Jenny was getting dressed in one of the spare bedrooms. When he knocked on the door, Celeste opened it, all smiles. “Hey, Zack. She’s almost ready.” Then she saw Charlie. She nodded her approval to Zack and called to Jenny, “Someone’s here to see you. We’ll be down the hall waiting for you.” Zack had alerted Jenny’s friends that Charlie might be coming.
Mikala exited the room along with Abby and Celeste, and Charlie went in.
One minute Jenny’s bridesmaids had been flitting all around her, then the next—
She was facing her father. Her hand went to her mouth. “Daddy!”
“Hi, baby,” he said approaching her. “You look beautiful. I’ve never seen a prettier bride.”
Jenny had felt so special as soon as she’d tried on this gown. It was satin and lace with long sleeves, and a ruffled lace hem that fell into a train. Her headpiece was a very feminine version of a Stetson with tulle, lace flowers and beading.
Once Upon a Groom Page 17
