I was going to say the same thing, but the words were not coming out. Thank God Ethan was there to catch me.
I watched Mr. Jones nod his head in understanding and then walk toward the parking lot. As soon as he was out of sight, Ethan turned me toward him, I stood on my tiptoes and hugged him tightly. I couldn’t believe what just happened. Did I just get offered to represent one of the best tennis programs in the state? Holy crap!
“You are going to be amazing. This is such a great opportunity.” Ethan praised.
“It’s...” I stuttered but could not find my voice. I couldn’t think of words to describe how I felt right now. My body was trembling still, and I felt like I might faint. I wanted to scream or cry or something. I was completely overwhelmed.
“Let’s pack up and go talk to your mom. If you want to do this, you are going to need to read these papers. There’s a lot of information here, and you need to know what you’re really getting into before you sign on the dotted line.”
“Right. Read…talk…sign.” That was all I could manage at that moment.
He pulled me to his side, and we walked back inside the courts. With his arm wrapped protectively around me, I felt safe. I felt like I could do almost anything at that moment, even play for the U. The only thing I was concentrating on though was standing upright.
Coming back from an injury was hard. Staying strong after an injury was even harder. All my insecurities about my game were centered around getting hurt again. If I hurt my shoulder, I could be done with the game forever. Did I want to risk that by playing this fall? If I got hurt, would I be able to recover in time to play for the high school in the spring? Would I be able to recover at all?
We packed up and headed back to my house in silence. There really wasn’t much I could say that was going to change how scared I was about getting hurt again. I needed to stay healthy, I needed to stay strong, and I needed to make sure that, above everything else, I didn’t push myself beyond what my body was capable of. At least not until I know that I am completely healed.
I was very lucky to make it through the spring season. My mom thought that it was a fantastic opportunity. We go through the contract line by line after dinner, with Ethan there to help interpret some of the jargon for us. He seemed to know a little more about the program than he let on in the beginning. By the end of the night, my mom had agreed to let me do this if I wanted to. I agreed to at least let myself try. It was the only way that I could prove to myself that I might still be good enough to get a scholarship. It was the only way that I would be able to prove to myself that I was good enough to compete on a higher level.
I signed the documents the next morning, and so did my mom. Ethan agreed to drive me to the U to bring them to Mr. Jones. As I handed them over, fear swept through my body. I knew that I was making the right decision, but I couldn’t help but admit to myself that I was scared.
The only thing left to do was to enroll in at least one class to make it official. Ethan walked me over to the admissions office and gave me a small tour of the campus in the process. I decided to take a journalism class and a graphic design class. If I was going to make the trek downtown to campus twice a week, I was going to make it worth my while.
After a pit stop at the high school to sort out my regular class schedule, we went to lunch to celebrate. I was not sure if there was really anything to celebrate yet, but at the moment, I really didn’t care.
Today had been a big day for me. I had enrolled in my first college class, and I was officially playing tennis for a major university, sort of.
“So are you excited?” Ethan asked.
“Nervous is how I would describe it. We start practice the week after next, and I have no idea what I’m doing. Thankfully you’ll be able to be there the first week. When do you leave again?” I rambled.
“I have to move into the dorms the last Friday of the month.”
“So basically, you’ll get to see me practice the first four days, and then off you’ll go. That sucks! I wanted to do something special for your last week here. Now I have practice all day.”
“You’ll be fine. We’ll find time to hang out. It’s not like your practice last from sun up to sun down. You’re done by lunch every day, and I will make sure you get to bed early enough to get a solid eight hours of sleep. Promise.”
“I’m not worried about being well rested. I’m worried about you leaving me. With all the time I’ve committed to this program, how am I going to be able to see you now?”
“We will make time. You’ll see. We’ll see each other so much that it’ll feel like I’m suffocating you.” He was teasing me, and when my eyes locked on his, I could see the promise he was making me. I could see something else in his eyes, something I’ve never seen there before. Love?
No. There’s no way that this man loves me. He’s never once said it, but I can feel it. I can feel how much he cares for me. Can’t I? Are those the feelings he has for me, or are those the feelings I have for him?
“Well, I would hate to feel suffocated.” My voice cracked as I forced the words out of my mouth. I was trying to lighten the mood, but since our eyes were still locked on each other’s, it felt like I was suffocating at that very moment. I was drowning in every emotion that I felt. I was scared. I was worried. I was in love.
Chapter Nineteen
Inseparable. It was the only word to describe how Ethan and I have been over the last two weeks. Since I signed my contract with the U, he and I had been prepping each other for our upcoming seasons. Every morning, we go out early and play. Every evening, after it starts to cool off, we would go for a run. It’s the same routine every day, and just as my body was starting to adjust, it was time to start practice with the U’s “Super Seniors” team. Thank you, Ethan, for that ridiculous nickname.
On the first few days of practice, Ethan drove me there. He didn’t stay and watch, knowing that I would be even more nervous if he did. Instead, he went back to his house and packed while I practice. The thought made me sad and a little bit nauseated. I knew that he was leaving on Friday, but I had to keep my head on straight, or else the coach would take it off for me.
The other girls that were selected to play were good. I was the only one from my high school, which surprised me. I could see that some of the other girls already knew each other. I wondered if I was going to be able to make friends or if they were going to make this a competition between us. It really was a competition between us in a way.
I kept my focus on the ball. I was hitting with the two singles player, Kennedy, and practicing my backhand when I see Ethan outside the fence. I was comfortable in his presence, but Kennedy was obviously not and completely missed an easy shot. I knew that she was staring at him. I used to have the same look on my face the first few times I saw him. His raw beauty would stop you in your tracks.
“That’s about it for today, ladies.” The coach’s voice sliced through the air, and I turned to see that he was standing just inside the court with a stack of papers in his hand. “I have your schedules for practice and tournaments. They may change a little, but this will give you the big picture. Most of your tournaments are set in stone, so if you have a conflict, I need to know in the next couple of days.”
We all packed up our stuff, walked toward the coach, and, one by one, grabbed our schedules. The first thing I noticed was that the last tournament was on my birthday. Ugh! Who plays tennis in December? People without snow, I guess.
Scanning the area for Ethan, I was almost to the gate when I noticed that he was talking to my coach. When did he come onto the court? I turned around, dropped my bag, and headed back in their direction, but as I approached, they stopped talking. That’s odd. What information was I not privy to these days?
“Hey, gorgeous. Ready to go get lunch?” Ethan asked a little too eagerly.
“Sure.” You could hear the hesitation in my voice as I dragged the word out a little longer than necessary.
As if he hadn’t h
eard the difference in my voice, he grabbed my hand, and we started to walk over to the gate to pick up my bag. “Where would you like to go today? There’s this really good Indian place just off campus if you wanna try some place new.” “That sounds fine.” I hesitated only a second before continuing.
“What were you talking to coach Miles about?”
“Nothing really. I’ve known him for a few years. I was just saying hi.”
“Oh, okay.” There I was, dragging out the syllables again, hoping he would continue. He did not, so I asked the question I knew he didn’t want me to. “How do you know him?”
“He’s been around for a while. He used to scout for the U, and I’ve talked to him a couple of times.”
“Does that mean that he tried to get you to play here?”
“Yeah. We talked a while back.”
“And…?” This time I was sure that I was getting the message across. Just to make sure, I stopped walking and looked him straight in the eye, giving him my best “Tell me more” look.
“I told you. I made my decision before you came home. Other than that, there’s nothing else to talk about. A lot of places scouted me.” Ethan stated firmly.
I guess that was the end of that conversation. He tugged lightly on my hand, and I fell in step with him. This was such a touchy topic for him that I let it go. He was planning on telling me on Friday before he left, right?
Our conversation over lunch was kept light. No talk of college, tennis, or anything that was going to make either of us think on a deeper level. I was relieved that we were able to keep from talking about tennis. We had done nothing but practice and play over the last few weeks, and a mental break from it was what I needed. We hadn’t played each other since I started to practice with the U team, but we still kept to our nightly runs.
I couldn’t help but allow my mind to drift back to the courts a little though. Playing with Ethan was special. He challenged me in ways that no coach or opponent ever would be able to. I remember the day the scout showed up. Wait. He knew the scout. He knows my coach. What am I missing? Did he visit the U while I was in Michigan? Should I ask? He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, but I had to know.
I was about to ask him as we pulled up to his house. As he opened the garage, I noticed that his dad’s car wasn’t there. We were alone for the time being. His dad would be at work for another two hours or so. I couldn’t think of anything better than cuddling up to Ethan and watching a movie right now. As he hustled me out of the car and into the house, I realized that he had other plans.
He pulled me across the threshold of his room and closed his door as I realized what his plans were. There were candles and rose petals scattered around his room and a red rose on his pillow. I know that different colored roses mean different things, but I wasn’t sure what red meant. I would have to look that up when I get home.
Before I realize what’s going on, Ethan had lit every single candle and closed the curtains. The room was dark except for the light coming from the fifteen or so candles that were burning. I could feel him approach me, and when he wrapped his arms around my waist, I melted into him.
I felt the heat from his body as his hands reached for the hem of my shirt. I didn’t hesitate, knowing what he wanted and lifted my hands above my head, giving him permission. It took all of two seconds before it hit the floor, and Ethan’s lips were on my neck. I turned in his arms and stripped him of his shirt as well while he reached behind me and flicked the clasp of my bra open.
I had never felt so alive in my entire life, standing half naked in front of another person. I knew that I could say one word and this would be over, we wouldn’t go any further, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to be with Ethan. At that moment, I felt like I needed to be with him as much as I needed air to breathe.
I knew in my heart of hearts that that was the moment I had been waiting for and that Ethan was the person I had been waiting for. Every girl wants their first time to be special. Nothing was going to be able to compete with that moment for me and that’s how I knew that it was special, that it was right. I would remember that moment for the rest of my life and never regret a single second.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and motioned him forward with my finger. He gave me the sexiest grin I had even seen cross his lips and complied with my small request. As he kissed his way up my body, starting at my navel, I started to feel my body unravel beneath him. By the time he reached my neck, I was breathing heavily, and so was he.
As our eyes met, he silently asked me if I really wanted this. I nodded my head once. As I waited for him to touch me again, my body calmed, but I could feel him watching me, staring at my naked body. I found his eyes as they swept over my body and came to meet mine. I nodded once more, letting him know that I hadn’t changed my mind. He leaned over and pressed a light kiss to my lips. I knew what’s coming next, and I was ready for it.
As I woke up, I wondered if it was all a dream. The fact that I could feel Ethan’s naked body pressed up against me made it all too real. My body was sore, and I had to use the bathroom. I quietly pulled away from him and searched the floor for my underwear. After finding them and tugging on Ethan’s t-shirt, I slipped out of his room. Of course, his mother would begin remodeling his bathroom before he left for college. How inconvenient for me at this very moment.
Down the hall, I could see a light under his parents’ door. I hoped they weren’t home. I couldn’t hear any sounds coming from their room. I headed into the bathroom and cleaned myself up. Looking in the mirror, I barely recognized my own face. I had a wicked grin from ear to ear, and it didn’t even begin to describe how I felt at that moment. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair and pulled it back up into a ponytail.
I slipped back into Ethan’s room and checked the time. It was only a little after five. My mom wasn’t expecting us for dinner until six, so we had plenty of time to get around. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the man before me. He looked peaceful in his sleep. His naked torso was begging to be touched, and just as I was about to reach for him, his eyes opened.
“Hey, gorgeous. You look beautiful.” Ethan said sleepily. His words made my heart flutter, and I couldn’t keep a smile from spreading across my face.
“You look pretty good yourself. We have to get dressed. My mom is expecting us for dinner in less than an hour.” I moved to stand up when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pulled me down to him.
Instead of resisting him, I snuggled up against him and rested my head on his chest. I could spend the rest of the day like this. I wanted to spend the rest of the day like this. If we didn’t have to be at my house for dinner, I would spend the rest of the day like this.
“Are you okay?” Ethan asked concerned.
He was asking because he cared. He did everything possible to make sure that my first time was perfect, to make sure that I was comfortable. I nodded to let him know that I was. I stretched up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and he released me. He knew we had to get moving before we got caught. His parents usually get home by six, and if they catch us in here alone, they would have a major issue with it.
After we were dressed and ready to leave, he pulled me back down on the bed and started to kiss me again. Before I could stop myself, I was kissing him too. His hands were moving slowly under my shirt. I could feel my desires beginning to stir again, and then, as if the heavens knew that we needed to stop, we heard the garage door open.
We pulled apart and both stood quickly. I smoothed my top back down to cover my stomach, and we quickly exited his room. All the rose petals and candles were picked up, but there was still a moment when I thought that our actions would be obvious to everyone around us. If I could feel a change, could they?
We said a quick hello and good-bye to his mother before darting out to his car. We were officially running late now due to our last moments of weakness. We needed to hurry and get to my house before my mom started to wonder where we were.
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Only five minutes late, my mom was setting the table when we walked in. I excused myself to go take a quick shower, knowing that the sweet smell of sweat and Ethan was all over my body. I was back in less than ten, and dinner was just being served.
Chapter Twenty
The rest of the night went by quickly. I knew that with only one more day before Ethan leaves, the hours would just fly, unlike this weekend. This first weekend apart from him was going to drag. My first college class was Monday morning, but I didn’t start school until the following Tuesday. I planned on filling the long hours with clothes shopping, and I had to make a pit stop at the bookstore on campus.
I talked to my coach about missing practice on Thursday, but he was less than enthusiastic. Ethan forced me to go anyway. He didn’t want me to miss on account of him, and he knew that we would have the whole day to spend together after it was over. I appeased him and went, but my mood was a little sour.
I raced over to his house after practice ended to find that he wasn’t home. I sat in his driveway for a few minutes before I sent him a text.
Me: Where are u?
Ethan: Had an errand to run. b there in ten.
Me: I’m at ur house.
Ethan: K. be there in twenty then.
My mind started to wander as I waited for him to arrive. I started to think about what my life would be like without him here every day. I started to wonder if I would be able to focus on tennis, knowing that he won’t be there to watch me play, to cheer for me like he had so many times in the past.
My phone alerted me to a new text, and I looked at the time. It had been almost a half hour, and he was not here yet. Where was he?
Brad: How’s tennis going?
Brad. I’ve only spoken to him maybe twice a week since our “moment” in my dad’s driveway. I know that he was giving me space. He was letting me figure it all out. Didn’t he realize that I figured it out before I left? I came home to Ethan. Even thinking that made me feel bad, but I had to choose, and I did.
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