The one thing I haven’t done is tell Sam that I’ve left. I have my penthouse until the end of March at which time I’ll have to find temporary digs. I hope Jimmy and Harrison won’t mind recording music here.
When I told Harrison about Noah, he was excited and completely on board with my new plan. He said he understood why I needed to make the change and said he’d probably do the same thing if he had just found out about Quinn.
Things with Josie are better but nonexistent and I’m okay with that. She needs time to heal from her break-up and I need time to be a dad. I have a lot of years to make up for.
We’re getting a Christmas tree tomorrow. With everything unpacked and put away, the delivery couldn’t come at a better time. Katelyn and the girls are coming over to decorate – apparently this is Elle’s specialty. Who am I to deny three beautiful women the opportunity to do all the hard work?
The doorbell rings and Noah yells, “I’ll get it!” from the top of the stairs. I cringe when I hear him stomping down the stairs. Both Josie and I are afraid he’s going to slip and break something, but he isn’t listening to either of us. Maybe he’ll listen when he’s in the emergency room.
I hear a crash and something shattering. I run from the kitchen through the dining room, panic setting in because I can’t hear Noah; he’s too quiet.
“Noah, are you—”
I stop dead in my tracks. She stands there with casserole spread all over her feet, her hand covering her gaping mouth, eyes watering. I set my hand on Noah’s shoulder and look at her. She’s aged, but obviously had some work done. I can’t tell if she still wears the same red lipstick she did when I was growing up, but I somehow think she hasn’t changed much.
“Noah, why don’t you go grab some gloves, a towel and a plastic bag and we’ll get that cleaned up.”
“Okay, Dad.”
Noah runs off toward the kitchen. I wait a few beats before looking her in the eyes. She’s watching Noah.
“What are you doing here?”
She looks at me, the same cold stare I grew up with. If I didn’t know better I’d think she hated me. That maybe I ruined her life.
“I was… he’s… casserole and… you’re...”
“Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human?”
“I haven’t had a drink in five years,” she says.
“Congratulations. You should go before my son comes back. I don’t want to explain why we’re talking as if we know each other.”
“Liam—”
“Don’t,” I say as I step over the mess she’s created on my porch. I shut the door quietly behind me so I can be frank with her. “You don’t get to ‘Liam’ me. You stood by and watched as he threw me out of the house. You’re supposed to protect me and you should’ve been protecting Noah. You live in the same god damn town and he looks just like me, so don’t tell me you haven’t seen him or Josie around. You should’ve told me. You were the only one who knew how to get a hold of me and you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, I tried, but you know your father. He was adamant.”
“I don’t want excuses. I missed ten years with him. Ten!”
“Can I meet him?”
I have to look away because looking at her – mascara running down her face like a Sunset Strip street walker – isn’t doing much good for me. I hate seeing her like this and, sadly, it’s my most vivid memory of her.
“Why should I let you?”
“You shouldn’t. I’m not a good person, Liam. I know that. I try, though, all the time to do something good for someone. I’m trying to be independent and not so—“
“Robotic?”
“Is that how you saw me?”
“Yeah it is,” I say moving toward the door. “You can meet him, but Sterling can’t. I don’t want him anywhere near my son.”
She nods and follows me into the house. Noah is sitting on the steps with the supplies in his hands. “What are you doing sitting there?” I ask him.
“You were having a private conversation. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“He’s so polite.” I nod because he is. Josie has raised him well.
“The bathroom is down the hall, Noah and I will clean up this mess.”
Bianca Westbury walks down the hall in a home that I own. I swear I never thought I’d see this day in my lifetime. We clean up the mess and Noah hoses down the porch. I’m afraid the steps will ice over tonight, so we’ll have to watch that in the morning.
“Who’s the lady?’ he asks. I want to say a stranger, but she’s here and asking for an opportunity that I’m certain Josie wouldn’t want her to have. I suppose if she wants to see Noah, she can come over here and do it.
I look over my shoulder to see Bianca standing there wringing her hands. She’s cleaned up the best she can, but she’s nervous. I’ve never seen her so unsure of herself. I motion for her to sit down in the living room. She takes one of the wing back chairs while Noah and I sit on the couch.
“Remember when you asked if you could meet my parents?” Noah nods. His eyes light up at the mention of my parents. I wish they didn’t, they really aren’t anything to write home about. “Noah, this is Bianca Westbury, my mom.”
Noah looks at my mom as if he’s studying her, learning everything he can about her. She pats down her hair and smiles softly at him. She clasps her hands and then straightens out her skirt again.
Noah looks back and forth between us and shrugs his shoulders. “What do I call you?”
Bianca sits forward, her hands resting on her knees. “Oh, um… I don’t know… I… Let’s see…”
“I call my nana and papa, nana and… oh that’s funny huh, Dad?”
“Dad,” Bianca whispers. She looks at me and smiles. “I think if you called me Grandma Bianca that would be okay.” She nods and her face lights up. “Yes, I think I’d like Grandma Bianca.”
“Okay, that’s cool.”
“Yes, cool,” she says. I start laughing and so does Noah. I don’t think Bianca has ever said the word ‘cool’ before in her life.
“Noah, tell me all about yourself.” With those words I’m effectively cut out of this conversation. She moves over to the couch and sits next him. I remember her like this when I was little before things started changing at my house.
I leave them in the living room to get to know each other. I take out my phone and call Josie. She needs to know about my mom coming over and meeting Noah and I’d rather tell her before Noah lets it slip.
“Hi,” Josie says on the third ring. We’ve started talking every day, but I’ve avoided telling her how I feel. I want her to come to me when she’s ready. I’m not into being someone’s rebound and if she wants me it has to be forever. Right now I’m happy having her in my life without drama.
“You wouldn’t believe who knocked on the door a half hour ago.”
“The delivery man?” She’s been giving me so much crap about the amount of deliveries, but I’ve never had my own furniture before. I may have gone a bit overboard with a few of my purchases, but I plan to own this house forever and it needs to be furnished properly.
I laugh at her. “Bianca.”
Josie only knows how I felt about my parents in high school. I haven’t told her about the ultimatum Sterling issued when I decided to leave school. I wait for Josie to say something. There’s nothing but silence on her end.
“What is it, Jojo?”
“Did she just show up?”
“She was bringing a casserole to the new people. What’s going on?” Her tone is making me curious. She’s usually bubbly when we’re talking and right now she seems down.
“Nothing,” she says, clearing her throat. “So you don’t want me to bring dinner tonight?”
Even if the casserole was sitting in my kitchen, I’d still want her to bring dinner because having her in my house, knowing she’s not going home to anyone, is a great feeling. I can’t wait to carry her up the s
tairs and lay her down in our bed and keep her there forever.
“I’m expecting you for dinner so you might want to hurry up.” She starts laughing and accuses me of using her for her mad food skills, even if she’s ordering pizza. I don’t deny it, but it’s a fine excuse to get her in the door night after night. “I’ll see you soon,” I say before hanging up.
I peek back into the living room. They’re still sitting together deep in conversation. I watch them interacting and wonder how she could’ve allowed Sterling to be the way he was. She radiates with excitement when she’s talking to Noah; why couldn’t she have been like this with me?
Nick has been gone for three weeks. The night he told me he was moving, he left. I don’t know where he went. Needing a distraction I went to work the next day, giving Jenna a Saturday to do whatever. When I came home his stuff was gone. He didn’t have much, just clothes mostly, but I felt his absence when I walked into my bathroom and his shaving cream and toothbrush were missing.
I miss Nick. I miss his laughter, his comfort and how I felt when he held me at night. My heart is not broken. I haven’t sat and cried except for the night he left. How I feel is not fair to him. He did the right thing by leaving. He saved us this way. I just want to know if he’s okay.
Noah and I are spending Christmas at Liam’s with Katelyn and the girls. We’ll be one extended family dealing with the loss of a friend, husband and father – together. Katelyn and the girls are with Noah and Liam now, decorating. Liam wanted to wait until I arrived, but I told them to go ahead. I’ll have plenty to do later.
In hindsight, Jenna should be working. We’re busy. Not that I’m complaining about having customers, but an additional set of hands would be nice right about now. My delivery boy is definitely adding to his Christmas fund with tips.
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Potter.”
“Oh, Merry Christmas, Josie, I just love your little shop during the holidays. You do such an amazing job with your decorations and flowers.
“Thank you. What can I make for you today?”
“I’m hoping for an arrangement of red roses and white calla lilies to add a little contrast in my entry way.”
“Sure thing, Mrs. Potter.”
I leave Mrs. Potter while she examines the poinsettias. I direct another customer to the flowers he’s looking for before walking to my walk-in cooler. I pick-up the roses and lilies, along with a few other festive flowers before heading back. There’s a tall blonde lingering at the register, she doesn’t have anything in her hand so I smile at her and tell her I’ll be with her in just one moment.
“Hi, excuse me, are you Josephine Preston?”
“I am,” I say as I start to arrange the flowers in a crystal vase for Mrs. Potter. She’s one of my regulars, always having fresh flowers in her house for something. The new customer just stands there not speaking so I continue to work. I finish up Mrs. Potter’s arrangement and take it to the register where she’s added other plants. After I ring her up and she pays, I help her carry her purchases to her car.
“Thank you, dear.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for shopping here, it means the world to me.” She kisses me on the cheek before getting in her car. I hurry back inside; it’s freezing out. My hands rub warmth into my arms.
I ring up the remaining customers and start working on my next order, taking stock of the few customers left in the store.
The blonde walks up to the counter and sets her bag down. Her sunglasses hold her hair back and I look quickly outside for any hint that the sun has come out and see none. Tourists always mark themselves so well. “Can I help you?” I ask.
“I thought we could talk,” she says. I have to look at her again to make sure I don’t know her from anywhere. I don’t.
“Did you want to make an appointment for a bridal consult or is it for something else?”
She smiles when I mention bridal, she must be in love. “Somehow I don’t think my man would appreciate it if I made wedding plans without him.”
“You’d be surprised. Most don’t care.”
We laugh. She’ll learn that guys just nod and say ‘okay, whatever you want honey’. I pull out my appointment book and look at my next available open time.
“We don’t really need to meet. I just wanted to give you this,” she hands me an envelope – it’s manila and fairly light. I look at the return address. It’s some lawyer in Los Angeles. This must be the paper work for Noah to become Liam’s beneficiary.
“Thanks,” I say, setting it aside.
“Aren’t you at least interested in what I just handed you?” She leans on the counter, her long red nails catching my attention. Her twisted smile is devious, as if she’s planning something harsh and I’m the tail end of the joke.
I pick up the envelope and pull the flap open. Taking out the papers and reading them carefully, anger boils under my skin. He’s done what he promised he wouldn’t. I put the papers back in the envelope and slide it under the counter next to my purse.
“You really should’ve just mailed them. It seems like a wasted trip.” I try to busy my hands when all I want to do is kick every one out and race to Liam’s to pick up my son.
“It’s my job to make sure my client’s needs are met to the fullest.”
“Lucky client,” I reply secretly hoping she’ll leave. She’s done her job. No need to hang around any longer.
“By the way, I’m Sam Moreno,” she sticks out her hand. I don’t move to shake it. I have no desire to be friendly with her. She pulls her hand back. “Anyway, I’m Liam’s manager. From here on out, you’ll go through me where your son and Liam are concerned. Also, the last page of the filing I just gave you is for a paternity test.”
“A what?” I squeak out.
“Well, you can’t expect someone like Liam Page to just hand over cash for a child that might not be his, do you? I mean I’m sure that’s what you thought he was going to do when you dumped your kid on his doorstep like a money-grabbing little whore. You may have a desire to milk my client’s cash cow repeatedly but I can assure you, I won’t let that happen.”
“You should go now.” I bite my tongue from lashing out. I know she’s just doing the job that Liam hired her for, but I want to gouge her eyes out with my shears and watch them bleed down her smug face.
She smiles, picks up her bag and walks out the door.
Customers still linger, but none seem aware of what just took place. I walk up to them calmly and tell them that there has been an emergency and I need to close early. I offer them a discount on their next purchase and promise I’ll be open tomorrow. Thankfully they aren’t too upset.
The drive to Liam’s is messy. I don’t even know when it started snowing, but the lightly snow-covered roads make driving difficult. I take in a few deep, calming breaths when I pull into his driveway. He’s decorated the outside of his house with white lights. There are candle lights in each window, something I suggested. There’s a green wreath with a large red bow hanging on the front door.
For the first time I notice that my name appears on the Santa decoration sitting on the porch. It says Liam, Josie and Noah live here. I trace our names before knocking.
The door swings open. Liam is standing in front of me. He’s confused, his brows push forward. “Why are you knocking?”
I should’ve practiced what I was going to say. I can’t look at him. I just want my son.
“I came to get Noah.”
“What do you mean you came to get him? We have plans tonight.”
“I… things change. I need to take my son home now.”
Liam steps forward, down onto the porch. He closes the door behind him. He’s standing on the brick porch barefoot in a t-shirt and jeans. He must be freezing.
“What’s going on?” he asks. I step away creating space between us, only for him to step closer. My head shakes, I can’t look at him. I won’t.
“Jojo,” he says as he reaches for me. I bat his hand away.
>
“Don’t call me that.”
“What the hell is wrong?” His eyes flash with rage.
“Nothing,” I answer sharply. “I want my son and I want to go home.”
“Our son,” he seethes.
I laugh at his term our. “Are you sure about that, Liam Page?”
The look he gives me is one of confusion and hurt. I can see the pain in his eyes when I call him by his stage name. “What the fuck are you talking about, Josie.”
I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stand here while he plays stupid. I pull the envelope from my purse. “This,” I say through tears as I slam it into his chest. “You did this after you promised me you wouldn’t. I trusted you… again and you’ve broken my heart.”
Liam pulls the envelope from my hands and tears it open. He reads the first page, then each one after. His face turns white.
When he looks up at me, I see fear.
Josie has only knocked once since I moved in, so when I open the door and she’s standing there I know something is wrong. I can tell she’s upset. Her stance on my porch is defiant. She’s pissed off and I don’t know what I did, but I know her anger is because of me.
Stepping out onto the porch is probably the dumbest thing I’ve done all week. It’s cold, snowing and I’m not wearing any socks or shoes. I could care less about not having a jacket on. I’m trying to be serious with her when all I want to do is run back into the warmth of my home.
There is nothing more frustrating than a woman who doesn’t tell you what’s wrong when you ask her. I want to grab her and shake the answer out of her. She stands in front of me, her shoulders hunched, refusing to look at me, to show me her beautiful eyes that I can read like an open book.
I tear open the manila envelope that she slams against my chest. My eyes read over words like custody, visitation, child support, and California resident. The last page does me in – it says I’m requesting a paternity test to determine if the child known as Noah Michael Preston is my son.
Liam's Journey Page 40
