Liam's Journey

by Heidi McLaughlin

  Josie crosses her arms over her mid-section like she’s been punched repeatedly. She doesn’t bother to wipe the tears that have started cascading down her beautiful face, now marred by deception with my name attached. No wonder she wants to take Noah away. I told her I’d never take him from her and these papers are telling her I am.

  This is not what I want. I want us to be a family. I never even thought about this when I found out about Noah. Never in a million years did this thought ever enter my mind.

  “Where did you get this?” I demand. I grip the papers, crinkling them in my hand as I shake them. She rolls her eyes and turns away from me, pissing me off even more.

  “I just want to get Noah and go home.”

  “Answer me.”

  She shakes her head. “Just give me my son!” she yells, her hands instantly cover her face.

  I can’t, I won’t. I will not hand over Noah without having the answers I want from her. I grab her arm and pull her into the house. She resists, fighting me as I drag her through the kitchen and down the stairs to my studio. It’s a soundproof room so we can yell and scream at each other and Noah won’t hear us.

  I push her into the room and slam the door shut, locking it behind us.

  “Who gave you these fucking papers, Josephine?” I hate saying her full name, but it gets her attention. She looks up at me, determined.

  “You know, I thought we could work at this co-parenting thing, but I was wrong. I don’t want your money, Liam. I don’t need it. Noah and I have managed this whole time on our own so you don’t have to worry about me sucking you dry.”

  “Josie –”

  “No, let me finish.” She holds up her hand, moving away from me, as far as she can get.

  “No!” I yell at her. “I will not. Tell me who gave you these god damn papers. There is no postage so I know they were hand delivered. I’m really about to lose my shit here, so just tell me already.”

  “Why does it matter?”

  “Because it’s fucking bullshit!” I scream. “I didn’t do this. I don’t want this. I don’t want to take Noah away from you or Beaumont.”

  I stalk over to her and push her up against the wall. My body is pressed against hers, as my hand cups her face gently. I want to do nothing more than to kiss her. To rip all her bulky winter layers away from her body and feel her skin against mine.

  “I love our son, Josie. I love him so much. I would never do anything to hurt him and taking him away from you would do that.” I try to calm down. I know who’s behind this and for me this is the last straw.

  “Her name is Sam,” she says so quietly I almost don’t hear her, but catching Sam escape from her lips is all the answer I need.

  “Listen to me,” I say, pulling her chin up so she’s looking at me. “I bought this house with you in mind. I’m here because this is where my family is, you and Noah. I want to be with you.

  “Sam’s my manager and has clearly overstepped her boundaries. I don’t know how she knows about Noah, but I’ll find out. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. I love you, Jojo.”

  “Please don’t take him,” she begs. I hate seeing her cry. I hate the look of desperation on her face. I’m going to kill Sam for doing this to Josie… to us. We don’t need this drama in our lives.

  I push a few strands of loose hair behind her ear. She leans into my touch, rubbing her cheek against my rough palm. I can’t resist. I kiss away her tears until I find her mouth. I place three kisses along her lips, the first two in the corners before testing her reaction in the middle. She’s receptive. Her hands pull me forward, closer.

  I stop too soon for both of us. I want her, but not like this.

  “Don’t you want me?” she whispers against my lips.

  “I do, so much, but not like this. Not in my studio where Noah can see us.” I pull away from her and look into her beautiful blue eyes. “I want every part of you in my life, Jojo, when you’re ready.”

  We walk back upstairs hand in hand, leaving the papers in my studio. I’ll deal with them later. The first thing I need to do is call my lawyer and have them retracted. I don’t even know what to do about Sam. Another question for my lawyer is if I can fire her? How much will it cost me to get out of this contract? She’s gone too far this time.

  Noah and I start to set up the tree, centering it in front of the large picture window facing the street. Josie comes in, her face reserved. I know every expression she has and this one is hesitant, as if she’s walking on egg shells. I need to fix this and fast.

  I purposely slant the tree. When she huffs, I turn my head and hide my smile. She starts to boss us around, telling us right, left and finally throws her hands up when we don’t listen to her. She leaves us men to the hard task of making our tree stand up right while she goes to the kitchen and works on making finger foods for tonight. Katelyn, the girls, Harrison and Quinn will be here shortly for our decorating party.

  The Westbury men will have none of that. Noah and I sneak up on her in the kitchen. He tackles her from one side, and I the other. When she screams we start laughing. I can’t help but kiss her. I hear Noah snicker and walk off, so I kiss her again. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it, I love her.

  I kiss her a third time briefly on the lips when the front door bursts open. Katelyn yells to the girls to be respectful. Josie pushes me away. It should hurt my feelings but it doesn’t. I know she wants to focus on Katelyn during the holidays. I make the decision to start wooing my girl. She needs to be romanced.

  When Josie and I bring food into the living room, the kids, like vultures, attack right off. I leave them to answer the door. Harrison and Quinn are standing there, both holding out bouquets of flowers.

  “You shouldn’t have,” I say, reaching for the flowers.

  “Well, you are a sexy beast,” Harrison says as he bats his eye lashes. I invite them in and direct them toward the festivities. Josie and Katelyn look up and smile when we enter.

  “This is my Josie and our son, Noah.” I point to Noah who looks up briefly and waves.

  “Nice to meet you, Harrison. Hi Quinn,” Josie says, bending down to his level.

  Quinn waves as he inches closer to his dad, but hands Josie the bouquet of flowers.

  “You know she’s a florist, right?”

  “Shut up, Liam. They’re beautiful! Thank you, Quinn.” Josie eyes me like I’m in some sort of trouble. I sort of wish I had taken advantage of her downstairs if she’s going to look at me like that.

  “Harrison, this is our friend, Katelyn, and her daughters, Peyton and Elle.” Both girls look up and smile before they go back to sorting the ornaments.

  Katelyn shakes Harrison’s hand and in slow motion he hands her the bouquet. She accepts the flowers, bringing them in so she can inhale their scent. Her eyes look up at him, his hand still holding the bouquet.

  “Hi,” he says as if he’s just run five miles.

  “Shit,” I say, shaking my head. Josie looks from them to me, her eyes going wide.

  I pat Harrison on the shoulder and laugh. He lurches forward before catching himself, never taking his eyes off of Katelyn. Christmas just officially became interesting.

  The smell of coffee wakes me. I bury my face into my pillow. The lingering scent of Burberry after shave weaves its way through my senses. Liam kissing me in his studio and again in the kitchen replays in my mind. I reach for him. I just need to feel him, to have his touch burning my skin knowing he’s the only one who can extinguish the fire.

  His side is empty and cold. I sit up suddenly. The bed covers are straight, untouched. His pillow is missing. I flop back onto mine and cover my face. I can’t believe the simple smell of him can bring back such vivid memories.

  “Are you sure we won’t get into trouble?” I’m whispering even though he’s assured me his parents are gone. Not just at work or the grocery store, but on a plane, heading for a cruise. How he convinced them to leave him home, I’ll never understand, but I don’t care
because I get Liam all to myself.

  He opens the door from the garage to the house. We stop in the kitchen briefly while he takes out two water bottles from the refrigerator. We climb the stairs hand in hand, until we reach his room. He hands me the water and pulls my silk scarf from my neck. Coming behind me, he places kisses along my neck before tying the scarf over my eyes.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Trust me,” he says against my skin.

  I do trust him. With my life.

  He opens his bedroom door, his hands under my shirt, his fingers guiding me forward. His door slams shut causing me to jump. With my eye sight hindered my other senses are heightened.

  Liam stands behind me, his breathing labored. When he moves away I want to follow him. Something clicks and the smell of cinnamon and something sweet, like cookies, permeates though the air.

  He takes the bottles out of my hand and pulls me toward him. I stumble into him, my hands gripping his arms so I don’t fall.

  “I’ll never let you fall, Jojo.”

  He brings me into the middle of his room, and into his arms. He caresses my cheek.

  “I love it when you blush,” he says huskily. His lips find mine, urgent with need, as he pulls the scarf loose. “Merry Christmas, my girl,” he says as goose bumps spread across my skin. He picks me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as my hands tug at his clothes. He lays me gently on his bed, pulling away. I reach for him, causing him to laugh.

  I look around the room. He’s decorated it with Christmas lights and a small tree with a few presents underneath it.

  “Which do you want to open first?” he asks.

  “You,” I say as I pull him down on top of me.

  “Merry Christmas!” The door swings open and I’m greeted with the most beautiful sight in the world, my son and the man I am desperately trying not to love. I scoot up and attempt to straighten the rat’s nest that has developed overnight.

  Noah jumps up on the bed, with a small box in his hand. Liam follows, carrying a mug of coffee. He bends down as I reach for the cup and whispers ‘Merry Christmas’ into my ear. I want to pull him to me, just like the last time we were together at Christmas, but I refrain.

  “This is for you,” Noah shoves the small box toward me. I take a sip of my coffee before putting it down on the night stand. I don’t know how I didn’t notice the picture before, but there’s Noah and I framed staring back at me. I don’t know when Liam took the picture but it warms me knowing we’re the first and last people he sees before going to sleep.

  I smile at Liam who looks a little embarrassed. I’ll be sure to ask him about it later. I take the gift out of Noah’s hand and untie the large silky white bow. Noah scoots up next me while Liam sits just out of my reach.

  I lift the lid on the black box. Nestled inside is a diamond heart-shaped pendant resting against crushed velvet.

  “Look inside,” Noah says giddily. Setting the box down, I slide my nail in between the ridge. It pops open easily and staring back at me is Noah and his toothless grin.

  “You’re supposed to be happy, not cry, Mom.”

  “I’m very happy, Noah. Thank you so much. I love it.”

  He reaches over and gives Liam a high-five. “You were right, Dad.”

  Noah jumps off the bed and heads for the door. “Come on, guys, Santa came!” Liam starts laughing and stares at the door until he’s gone. As soon as he hears him downstairs he moves closer to me. He takes the box from my hand and removes the necklace. I lean forward, bending my head and wait for him to clasp the chain around my neck.

  “Eager?” he asks. My eyes find Liam’s, he’s focused on me. I pull my hair to the side farthest away from him. He leans in, his scent enveloping me. His fingers linger on my skin following the path of the chain across my collarbone.

  I turn my head slightly hoping to catch his lips. He doesn’t disappoint. His lips brush against mine ever so lightly.

  “Liam,” I whisper. He pulls back and rubs his hand over his face. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t want to rush this. I need you to be ready and not some rebound because you’re hurting from Nick.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. You were with him for a long time and things just ended. I’ll be patient, Jojo.” He stands and leans over me. I have to lean back so I can see him. “You will be mine again.”

  Once Liam is out of the room and my heart rate has returned to normal, I climb out of bed and change into something presentable. The moment I open the door, my name is being yelled from downstairs.

  When I enter the living room seven pairs of eyes are staring at me. Apparently, I’m the last one to get out of bed this morning. One look at the tree and I see why everyone is ready. Santa came and brought the mall with him. I don’t know where all this stuff came from, but whoever played Santa just made these kids’ year.

  Liam dons a Santa hat and passes out presents one by one. The look of elation spreads across his face when he reads his own name. He rips the paper off, causing the kids to laugh. The lid of the box goes flying and tissue paper rains down on us. He pulls out a photo album and starts flipping through the pages.

  “Do you like it?” I ask him as his fingers ghost over ten years’ worth of photos of Noah.

  He stands and rushes over to me, picking me up. I wrap my arms around him, our faces buried in each other’s necks. “Thank you so much,” he mumbles against my neck. “I love it. I love it so much, Josie.”

  “I think your dad loves your mom,” Quinn says to Noah. Harrison and Liam start laughing as do Katelyn and I.

  Liam returns to his Santa duties, each child getting ample attention for each gift. I’ve held Katelyn throughout the morning. She occasionally wipes tears. Some are happy that Liam has made her girls’ Christmas so special and others are for Mason.

  After all the wrapping is thrown into the fireplace, Katelyn and I take to the kitchen to prepare dinner. The kids disperse throughout the house. Elle is with us while Peyton watches TV. The boys have gone outside to play with their new paintball guns while Liam and Harrison have retired to the studio to jam. I don’t know what that means, but it makes Liam smile.

  Once Katelyn and I finish preparing dinner, I cuddle on the couch with Peyton, while she and Elle snuggle up in the chair by the fire. When Liam comes up an hour later complaining that he and Harrison are hungry, I offer to make their lunch. He follows me into the kitchen, pulling at my hair.

  “What are you doing?”

  He walks toward me until I’m cornered. “I like seeing you comfortable in my house.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Mhm. We need to go on a date.”

  “What happened to waiting and being patient?” I’m losing whatever nerve I’ve told myself I need to keep around him. I want to be with him, but I also understand what he’s saying about Nick. It’s too soon, but I know what I want and it’s Liam. I wanted him the day he walked into my shop.

  I’m just scared.

  Liam shrugs. He fingers the buttons on my shirt. “I will be patient, but I want to spend a lot of time with you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Yeah? How about New Year’s Eve? Just us?” he’s close enough to kiss. I lean forward only for his head to turn when the doorbell rings.

  “You didn’t invite your mom did you?”

  “No, definitely not. I’ll be right back.” He kisses me on the cheek, leaving me frustrated and alone.

  “Hey, baby.” I freeze when I hear the same voice from the other day. I walk down the hall quietly.

  “Sam, what the—”

  “Oh my god,” I gasp loudly as my hand covers my mouth.

  This has been the best morning I’ve had in a long time, from the moment when Noah and I woke up Josie with her gift to the unwrapping of mine. I can’t wait to spend hours combing through every photo Josie gave me. Even though I’m not in them, having pictures of Noah when he was a baby, toddler and his first Hall
oween costume means everything to me.

  I know I told Josie I can be patient, but I’m not sure I can. Seeing her in my bed, with her long dark hair spread across the pillow makes me want to claim her as mine. I knew I was a goner when I walked upstairs complaining about being hungry and she offered to make Harrison and I lunch.

  Seeing her move around my kitchen like she owns it makes me want have her here every day, but I’m afraid. She was with Nick for a long time and you just can’t turn off your emotions.

  I should know.

  I tried.

  The sound of the doorbell saves me from making an error in judgment. Swinging the door open, her back is facing me but I’d know that head of blonde hair anywhere. She turns and smiles as she steps in.

  “Hey, baby,” she coos. I swat at her hand when she tries to touch my face with her fake fingernails.

  She just shrugs and opens her coat; she’s clad in a barely-there bra and panties. Her stockings are held up by garters. At one time I found them sexy, but not so much anymore.

  “Sam, what the—”

  “Oh my god!”

  I turn at Josie’s gasp. The look on her face isn’t anger, but hurt. She runs up the stairs, and the slamming of my bedroom door makes me jump.

  “Cover yourself up. There are children in the house.”

  I walk away from her toward the dining room. I don’t want her anywhere near the living room with Katelyn and the girls. Katelyn comes around the corner and motions that she’s going upstairs. I nod and prepare for what I’m about to do.

  “Sit down, Sam, we need to talk. And keep yourself covered.”

  I sit across from her. It’s a safe distance so I won’t hit her and she won’t try and touch me. “I spoke to Brandon the other day.”

  “Me too,” she says happily.

  “This would be the day the mother of my son showed up demanding that I return her son to her.”

  “I took care of all that, baby.”

  “Sam, I’m not your baby and I’m never going to be. What you did was wrong on so many levels. I never doubted that Noah’s mine. I also don’t want custody. Josie wasn’t some girl I met backstage; she was my girlfriend. How did you even know about Noah?”