by Ashley Jade
He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, it really fucked me up and I couldn't perform after that. I was going to leave, but she asked me to stay. She promised she wouldn't tell DeLuca about what happened between us. She said she would lie to him and tell him exactly what he wanted to hear. Then she told me she would do anything I wanted. That's when I asked her to give me a few lessons on what women liked. Not the stuff they think men want to hear, but the stuff they actually liked. I didn't want to feel like a monster—I didn't want to feel like him. I wanted to be able to give women pleasure instead of pain." He lifts a shoulder in a shrug. "She gave me a few lessons and it was only then that I was able to get it up again and have sex for the first time."
I throw my arms around his waist and hug him tight. "You've never allowed anyone to get you off other than intercourse, have you?"
I can hear his heart racing against my ear before he growls, "No, I haven't. Jesus, I sound like a fucking sissy. I mean, what men go around refusing handjobs and blowjobs? I just didn't want to be—"
"I know," I say while lifting my head to look at him. "And you're not."
I lift the hem of his shirt and he raises his arms for me. "Trust me, baby. I know those monsters very well...and you're not like any of those men, Ricardo."
His hand lands on top of mine when I reach for his belt buckle. "I need you to know that the second you feel uncomfortable or have a flash—"
I put my finger to his lips. "I trust you. I know you won't hurt me."
"I won't," he says. "I might like to take control but I would never take the control from you—if that makes any sense."
"It makes perfect sense." I lick the shell of his ear and whisper, "Can I touch you?"
His brows furrow and he swallows thickly. "Yeah, Lou-Lou. You can touch me."
To most people, that phrase wouldn't be a big deal, but he's just granted me permission to do something he's never let another woman do before.
I slowly work my way down his abs, kissing and licking each and every rippling muscle along the way.
When my tongue finds the mouth-watering v of his lower abs he hisses and juts his hips out at me.
That action only fuels me on more and I run my hand over his zipper where his cock is straining against the denim of his jeans.
I don't wait another moment to undo his pants. He raises his hips for me to take them off along with his boxers, his eyes burning into me the entire time.
I take a moment to admire the sight of his prominent and impressive erection in all its glory. I trace a finger down the different veins and ridges and over his piercing. I cup the weight of him in my hands, exploring him.
It occurs to me that this is as big a moment for me as well as him, because for once, I feel no shame while doing this to a man.
There are no demons in the bedroom between us now. There's only us.
When his breathing becomes labored, I feel liberated and sexy. I feel exactly the way I'm supposed to be feeling.
I continue exploring every inch of him and he lets me. He doesn't rush me or demand that I speed things up and get to the main event.
He doesn't make me feel dirty. At least, not in a bad way.
He curses under his breath when I swirl the small drop of fluid leaking from his tip around with my thumb.
"Fuck," he rasps and I feel myself become wet.
I give him a knowing smile and repeat the movement. His dark orbs are downright smoldering when I bring my finger to my lips and proceed to lick it.
"You taste good," I tell him and I see his cock jerk. I move down until I'm positioned over him. "I want to feel you in my mouth."
"Jesus, you have no idea how sexy you are," he says, his voice straining with arousal.
I rub my thumb under the rim of his cock and pump him in my hand. "I don't want you to hold back."
He laughs sardonically and presses his thumb to my lips until they part. "I'm not going to. Not with these gorgeous lips of yours wrapped around my cock." He looks at me earnestly. "Just know that you can stop at any—"
He doesn't have a chance to finish that statement because I dip my head and lick the underside of his tip.
His mouth falls open and he mutters a curse when I take him in my mouth fully.
I circle his piercing with my tongue before gliding my mouth down his length again. His hand's tunnel in my hair when I find the perfect rhythm and begin sucking him with earnest.
His cock throbs against my cheeks and his hands tighten in my hair as he rocks into my throat.
Then he makes a low rumble from deep within his chest and does something that makes me dizzy with desire. He yanks my hair harder, lifts his hips, and proceeds to thrust into my mouth while staring at me and biting his lip.
Want pools deep inside as I suck him greedily and he fucks my mouth harder. “Feels so fucking good,” he groans as he winds my hair around his fist and thrusts deeper.
I feel him start to tremble and his eyes cut to mine. "Fuck. I'm gonna come, baby," he warns.
I speed up my pace and give his balls a small tug.
His cock pulses, his thighs tense, and his lower abdomen spasms as he fills my mouth with his release. He groans my name as I proceed to swallow every last drop of him.
He tips my chin up. "That was amazing."
"It was," I agree.
"I love you," he says, and then before I know what's happening, his hands are finding their way into my panties and he gives me a smirk. "And now it's my turn to take care of you."
I want to remind him that he doesn't, because that's not what this was about for me, but when he parts my folds and finds my clit, I forget how to form words.
He flips me around so I'm belly down, and then lifts me until I'm on my knees. "You're gonna want to grab the headboard," is my only warning before he's spreading me open for him and he begins licking my pussy from behind.
I hiss and groan. There's nothing in the world that can compare to this feeling. I don't know who's moaning louder, me or him as he continues eating me with an intense fervor that I've never experienced before.
When he sucks my clit into his mouth—I grab the headboard so fucking tight my knuckles turn white.
Sweat is pouring down my body and my legs have turned to jelly, but Ricardo keeps at it, never letting up. Not even when one, two, three orgasms hit me in succession faster than the speed of light.
I'm screaming his name so loud my voice has become hoarse and I'm certain I'm about to pass out cold if his talented mouth pry's another climax from me.
"Please. God, Ricky." I have no idea what I'm begging for, more of this wonderful feeling—or for him to stop because I don't think there's another ounce of pleasure he can give me without me spontaneously combusting into a pile of dust on the bed.
My legs and arms give out but he tugs my hair until my head falls against his chest and laughs darkly. "Oh, no, baby. We're not fucking done," he warns. "Put your head down and lift that sexy little ass of yours in the air for me," he says low and gruff.
I don't know what kind of sexual beast I've managed to spark in him tonight but there's no way I would ever dream of opposing him.
His eyes catch mine as I position myself exactly the way he wants me. My cheeks begin to heat from being so exposed, but I don't have time to dwell on that because he says, "Lick" right before shoving two of his fingers in my face.
I do as he instructs—I want to ask why but I soon find out when those very same fingers are skimming my ass right before circling and teasing my puckered hole. Jesus. I suck in a breath and blow it out, my body in turmoil because I shouldn't be feeling any kind of pleasure from this considering what's been done to me.
But I am.
"Ricardo I—" I stop mid-sentence because his mouth goes back to my pussy as his fingers continue probing me. I begin writhing and mewling due to the intensity of being pleasured in both areas at the same damn time.
"You what, baby?" he questions between long laps.
&
nbsp; I can't answer because if there's a maximum threshold for pleasure before the body loses all of its senses, I'm positive I've just reached it.
Everything is blending together and all I can feel is this vehement euphoria he's providing me.
"Tell me every part of you is mine," he rasps.
"You know I'm all yours, Ricky. Only yours," I pant out.
He bites my ass before soothing the sting out with his tongue. My back bows but he presses down, keeping me in the position he wants me in.
Goosebumps graze my flesh as his stubble prickles my most delicate places. Then his tongue surges deep inside me again and I'm losing myself on a wave of bliss that's so close to crashing to the surface.
"Christ," he rumbles, his movements growing more frantic. "I need to taste every part of you."
Quicker than lightning, his mouth shifts to no man's land as a finger curls deep inside my pussy.
"Oh, my fucking God," I say through ragged breaths when his tongue darts out and he circles and flicks that hole.
I moan his name as white blinding light hits me before my knees give out and I'm collapsing into a heap, unable to catch my breath.
I tilt my head to the side to look at him. He sucks the same two fingers into his mouth and gives me a wink. "You taste good, too."
Holy mother of fuck. "I'm pretty sure you just killed me," I inform him.
He plants a long line of gentle kisses up and down my spine before he leans over my ear and says, "Then let me revive you."
My thighs clench and my mouth goes dry because my body still craves his touch, even after just being put through the freaking wringer.
Three minutes later; he's putting a condom on, spanking my ass, and entering me from behind while I'm gasping for air and feathers engulf the room due to me tearing apart the nearest pillow.
His eyes connect with mine when I look over my shoulder at him and he gives me his lopsided smile as he works my body over and brings me to another climax that's out of this world.
"Every time still feels like the first time with you," he says while draping an arm around me and kissing my forehead. "Il mio piccolo superstite," he whispers, nuzzling my neck. "Ti amerò fino al giorno della mia morte ... e non solo."
I fall head over heels in love and lust all over again as I lie against his chest and he rocks me in his arms until I'm sound asleep.
My body's pleasantly sore when I wake up the next morning.
I stand up and look over at Ricardo who's still sleeping. He has one arm stuffed under his pillow and the other arm reaching out for me.
My heart aches because I'll never understand how anyone could ever abuse this man. It kills me that his mother treated him the way she did and that his father is...well, his father is Bruno DeLuca.
He's surrounded by darkness and yet, his soul is the purest one I've ever seen.
He whispers my name in his sleep and my heart swells. I lean over the bed and plant a kiss on his temple. "I love you," I say. "I'll be right back."
The corners of his lips turn up in a boyish grin. "Better be."
I laugh and give him another kiss before I walk into the bathroom.
I'm on cloud nine...until nausea crashes into me like a tidal wave and I find myself leaning over the toilet bowl throwing up whatever is still left of last night's dinner.
It's only when I'm brushing my teeth that it occurs to me that it's rather odd for my stomach to be acting up...because I'm not feeling stressed in the least at the moment.
I'm about to chalk it up to a random occurrence but then Ricardo's words from last night echo in my head.
"Every time still feels like the first time with you."
Another bout of nausea barrels into me again when I recall that Ricardo and I didn't use a condom the first time we had sex.
Of course, we discussed our heat of the moment mistake right after it happened and luckily we had both been tested recently.
After that, we were diligent about using condoms each and every time.
Seeing as it's been over a month and a half since that happened and I had my period after that...I figured we were in the clear.
I clutch a hand to my chest. How the fuck is this possible?
I mentally do the calculations in my head and pull out my phone.
I don't have much experience with any of this because I pretty much grew up with Bruno for most of my teenage years...and he certainly never discussed women's biology with me.
I drop my phone like a hot pocket just as I'm about to type the first letter into my search engine.
I know DeLuca tracks my phone.
I can't ask Ricardo to use his phone, either because for all I know, DeLuca tracks his phone too.
I also don't want to freak him out if this turns out to be nothing. Which I'm sure it is.
When I peek back into the bedroom, I notice he's fast asleep again.
With no other options left, I find myself knocking on Tyrone and Jackson's door.
Even if DeLuca tracks their phones, DeLuca wouldn't care about them pulling up stuff up on google about pregnancy symptoms and periods.
I say a silent prayer that it's Tyrone and not Jackson on the other side.
My prayers are answered when Tyrone opens the door and gives me a warm smile.
Hopefully, it won't be the only prayer of mine that will be answered today.
"Hi, sorry to bother you," I start. "I was wondering if I could use your phone to look up something on the internet."
He raises an eyebrow. "You know there are these really cool inventions called computers right?"
"Yeah, I know," I say, feeling like an idiot now. "Mine is out of commission. I'm sorry, I'll just go down to the library or something."
He ushers me in. "Don't be silly, Lou-Lou. Use mine."
He leads me into the living room and I flip open his laptop. Nerves rack up my spine when I notice him hovering over me with a peculiar expression on his face.
Those nerves get even worse when I realize that he's definitely going to say something to Ricardo about me coming here and asking to use his laptop out of the blue.
I rub my neck and blow out a breath. I'm so freaked out about DeLuca I'm not thinking about covering my tracks in regards to Ricardo.
There's only one thing I can say to Tyrone to ensure he'll keep it a secret...and it's a really shitty thing...but I have no choice.
"Tyrone, I would really appreciate you not telling Ricardo I was here. Or telling him that I asked to use your laptop."
He understandably gives me a strange look and I know I've put him in a bad position. That makes what I'm about to say even worse.
"Um—"
"I know we've never talked about that night," I whisper, recalling the night I ended up on his floor in a shaking, sobbing mess while clad in only my underwear.
He closes his mouth and I continue, "I'm thinking about possibly going to get some counseling. That's why I need to use your laptop. I want to look up some good ones in the area. However, I'm still not sure about going and I don't want Ricardo to know because I feel it should be my decision. If I bring it up and I don't go, he'll be disappointed and upset. So, I would really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to him."
"Of course," he says, staring at me intently. "For what it's worth, I think it's a good idea. But you're right. It should be your decision. I'll stay out of your hair. Take as much time as you want and if you need anything, let me know."
"Thanks, Tyrone. You have no idea how much I appreciate this."
After he leaves, the first thing I look up is pregnancy symptoms.
I want to scream in frustration when I realize that most of these symptoms are ones that I have daily due to the stress of my everyday life.
In other words, this search didn't prove to be helpful at all.
Until I see something called 'implantation bleeding' and my stomach flips when I realize it mimics what I thought was my last period.
Which of course, was a mere few da
ys after we had unprotected sex.
Intuition like a motherfucker hits me and somehow...
I. Just. Know.
I'm pregnant with Ricardo's baby.
And if DeLuca or anyone else finds out...I'm dead.
Chapter 6 (Lou-Lou)
"Lola Copacabana," the nurse calls out.
It isn't until she says the name again that I realize she's calling me.
I stand up and wipe my palms on my jeans.
I tracked down the nearest facility I could find and ran here as soon as Ricardo left for the gym.
He's usually there for a few hours so I figured it would buy me plenty of time.
The nurse appraises me and arches an eyebrow. "I take it your parents are Barry Manilow fans?"
"Look, I'm paying cash so can we just get this over with?"
I have to force myself not to think about what's about to happen.
Because if I do...then it's real and it's actually happening.
And if I think about it...I won't be able to go through with this.
I've always been a firm believer in women having the right to choose...and I'm exercising that right.
This baby will get me and possibly others killed.
She leads me into a small, white, cold room and hands me a gown to change into.
Then the questions start rolling in.
I answer as many of them as I can honestly and then she tells me she needs me to pee in a cup.
I make quick work of it and when I see that stick turn positive something inside me cracks.
This is real and it's happening.
And I won't be able to keep my baby.
"Well, according to the urine test, you're pregnant," she tells me.
"I'm aware. Why else do you think I'm here?"
She opens her mouth but I cut her off. "I need an—" I stall because I can't manage to say it out loud.
"I just...I can't have it," I say, my voice quivering.
Understanding splashes across her face before she speaks. "Well, we're going to need to do an exam, run some tests, and you're going to need to speak to a counselor. Then you'll have to make another appointment for the procedure."
