by Ashley Jade
"What about Ricardo? If you have that baby—you already know what will happen."
"Not if I convince DeLuca not to kill him."
"How?"
"Well, for starters...I'll remind him that we don't know whether the baby will be a boy or girl. I'll remind him that anything can happen during the birth—that alone will buy Ricardo some time. In between then, Ricardo can go to the council and tell them what DeLuca's planning to do to him. Isn't there a rule against DeLuca's killing one another?"
"There is," Emilio says. "But DeLuca has never been one to follow the rules before." His brows furrow. "I'm sorry, but your plan sucks. There are too many holes. Too many ways it can all go wrong."
Anger and devastation pulse through me. "I'm not giving up my baby." Tears make their way down my cheeks. "And I can't bear the thought of losing Ricardo, either." I gulp back another sob, my heart feels like it's physically cracking right down the middle. "There's no way I can choose between the two of them."
"I know," he says before he pulls me into a hug.
"I love them both so much," I sob loudly, barely even breathing.
"I know you do, honey. I know you do." He squeezes me tight before releasing me. "Listen, don't tell Ricardo about the baby. Not now at least, okay? Promise me, Lucianna."
I nod because telling him about the baby definitely doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore.
Not until I figure out a way to keep them both alive.
He looks at his watch. "I have to go, but here." He hands me the disk. "It's Alyssa's video."
"I figured."
He gives me another hug. "I'm sorry, Lucianna. I'm so sorry," he says before pulling away.
Not as sorry as I am.
I pull out my phone and text DeLuca. Despite what just happened, I tell him I love him and miss him.
I tell him I can't wait for him to come home to me.
I know Emilio doesn't think my plan will work...but it's the only one I have at my disposal right now.
My heart plummets when I realize that in order for this plan to actually be effective—it will require me breaking Ricardo's heart, first.
Chapter 11 (Ricardo)
I'm pacing the apartment calling Lou-Lou's phone every two seconds.
I'm reeling over the fact that she left a note about being at the library on my pillow...especially since she failed to realize it doesn't even open for another hour.
In other words, she fucking lied to me.
I call her phone again, I don't care if DeLuca's tracking it. I need to know that she's safe.
I also need to know what the hell is going on. With no other options left, I take out my burner and call Emilio.
"Yeah," he answers.
I cut right to the chase. "Where is she?"
He sighs and lights a cigarette—which is never a good thing. "Look, why don't we meet up somewhere? Maybe have some coffee. You know, sit and talk for a little."
I have to laugh to keep myself from lunging through the phone and tearing him apart. "Fucking spit it out, Emilio. Or I swear to God, I will hop on a plane, go to Italy, and shoot the motherfucker right between the eyeballs. Where is she?"
"Jesus," he mutters. "Fine. There's no easy way to say this, but she was with him."
"What?" I growl. "That makes no sense. He's not back from Italy yet and she would have told me."
He curses under his breath. "He flew in this morning to see her."
"You're lying. She would have told—"
"I wish I was, Ricardo."
I slam the wall with my hand. "What did he want?"
"I don't know. The visit was short. Maybe 15-minutes tops."
Lead fills my stomach, I can't believe she would see him without telling me.
"Look," Emilio begins. "I'm not trying to be the asshole who says 'I told you so' but I did, Ricardo. I told you not to trust anyone. I don't know what kind of shit's she's trying to pull, but it's obvious she sunk her hooks into you."
I hear him take a drag of his cigarette on the other line. "And it looks like she's got you exactly where he wants you."
"Fuck you," I spit, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. "You don't know shit about her. You don't know her like I do. Lou-Lou would never fuck me over. What we have is real. She loves me, Emilio." And God knows I love her. I pinch the bridge of my nose. "And now that I think about it, she probably didn't tell me because she thought she was keeping me safe. Because that's what kind of person she is—" I stop mid-sentence when it comes to me. "Speaking of which....why the fuck didn't you tell me about DeLuca showing up? I thought you had my back?"
He's silent for a moment longer than I'd like before he says, "I couldn't. I didn't know he was coming here until a few hours ago. Then he started asking questions about where Luke was and wondering why he wasn't answering his phone. I couldn't call you or text because he was watching my every move like a hawk. And I didn't know we were going to pick her up until I pulled up and saw her." He takes another drag of his cigarette before I hear him stomp it out. "And she only just left a moment ago. I was going to call you. You just happened to call me first."
He sighs. "But like I told you a few weeks ago...you really need to look out for yourself. Focusing on her will get you killed. I know you're in love...I get it—more than you think...but you need to face facts and stop living in this goddamned fantasy. She doesn't belong to you and she never will."
He clears his throat. "She's not the girl who will change your life for the better, Ricardo. She's the girl who will end it," he says before hanging up the phone.
I shake my head, ignoring his words because I know the truth—he's wrong.
I yank open the front door and walk out of the apartment...and that's when I see her.
Turning the doorknob to her own apartment.
I'm ready to rip into her...but then I notice her eyes are all red and puffy and my chest sinks. I make the few short steps over to her and cup her jaw. "Are you okay?"
She glares at me. "I'm fine."
I'm a little taken back by her attitude, but I know she only acts like this when she's trying to protect herself. My jaw works because her claws are out and I know it's because of DeLuca.
Even so, it still doesn't change the fact that she didn't tell me about seeing him. Or the fact that she ran off to see him without a second thought given to us and what we have.
I can't believe I'm in the position where I have no choice but to do this...but it's the only way.
I have to know where she stands. I have to know that we're still a team and I can still trust her.
I decide to give her the chance to come clean and tell me the truth. "Where did you run off to early this morning?" I start. "And why didn't you tell me you were going out? I was worried sick about you."
She rolls her eyes. "Are you my keeper or something? Because last time I checked, my name isn't Jackson or Tyrone."
I need to try a different tactic. This clearly isn't working.
I close the space between us and rub her shoulders. "What's going on, Lou-Lou? Talk to me. Whatever it is, we will get through it, but you need to open up and tell me."
She immediately shrugs me off and backs away. She stays silent, but I don't miss the way her eyes flash before they start to water.
Dammit. I can't fight fire with fire when she's like this. The only way I can push through her walls is by showing her how much I care.
I open my mouth to tell her how much I love her and why I did what I did last night, but the door to Tyrone and Jackson's apartment abruptly opens and out walks some woman with a shaved head and a tattoo on her face, muttering some shit about people from the South being too damn close to one another.
Oddly enough, she appears to be carrying some kind of riding crop in her hand.
Both Lou-Lou and I shoot her a questioning look but she ignores us and swiftly disappears down the hall as I briefly recall Tyrone telling me he was going to the bar last night.
That's when
Tyrone himself sticks his head out the door. "Not a damn word," he says to me. "Beer goggles are a bitch. I could have sworn she was Sinead O'Connor last night."
My lips twitch and I know I'm a razor's edge away from breaking out into a fit of laughter, despite the current situation.
He points a finger at me. "Dammit, Ricardo. It's bad enough Momma caught me in bed with her this morning. I don't need you giving me shit too."
He hikes his thumb behind him and looks at the both of us. "Anyway, Momma's making breakfast, y'all. Come on."
He walks away and Lou-Lou looks down at the floor. I put an arm around her but she shrugs me off again.
That's when I grab her shoulders and force her to look at me. " Start talking, Lou-Lou." I pin her with a stare. "I know you lied to me—and I'm giving you one chance to come clean and that chance is now."
Her lower lip trembles but she lifts her head and meets my stare. "I'm not telling you shit. Leave me alone," she snaps before walking ahead of me.
I watch as she takes a seat at the large oval counter where Tyrone is seated and Momma's cooking breakfast.
She's not acting like herself at all. Then again...she hasn't really been acting like herself for the past two weeks.
First, it started with her constant trips to the bathroom...she blamed it on her stomach problems.
Then she started dozing off constantly. Usually after her trips to the bathroom.
And this week? She's been spending hours and hours at the library.
Or claiming to be at the library.
Trepidation fills my chest with my next thought.
When I asked her where she went this morning...she wouldn't give me a straight answer, even though I know damn well where she was.
Also, her eyes are red and bloodshot. That's not the biggest clue, though.
The biggest clue is the way she's treating me right now.
How did I miss all the signs?
No...she wouldn't do this to me.
Lou-Lou would talk to me instead of turning to that shit again.
Although, it would possibly explain why she didn't tell me about going to see DeLuca.
I have force myself to calm the fuck down so I don't cause a scene in front of everyone.
She promised me.
Besides, I have no proof. I'm just basing all this off speculation and my own fucked up experiences.
I have to trust that she wouldn't do this to me. To herself. To us.
I walk into the kitchen and try like hell to shut down that little voice inside my head that whispers, "She might."
I take a seat next to her at the table without saying a word. This feeling in my gut is only getting worse every second that passes.
Especially when I look up and see Jackson walking to the table...and I notice he's not alone. Alyssa's standing right beside him.
She's also wearing his t-shirt...which I can only assume means she spent the night with him.
I'm about to pull him aside and rip into him again. But then he does something that stops me.
He lifts his chin and gives me 'the look'.
That look can only mean one thing...he's serious about her. Fuck...there's nothing I can do to stop this from happening anymore.
There's only one thing I can do now...add her to the roster and take her into my little circle of protection.
Christ. I feel like I should open my arms wide and tell her 'Welcome to the family.'
Instead, I give Jackson a nod and Alyssa a smile. I see Jackson's gaze drift to Lou-Lou briefly but he guides Alyssa to the table to take a seat.
I don't miss the look Momma gives her. Yup, that's the 'Momma Bear' look.
I take a sip of water and silently wish Jackson good luck.
Jackson walks over to Momma and attempts to give her a hug, but he's suddenly pushed aside by Alyssa.
Alyssa raises her chin, holds out her hand and looks Momma right in the eyes. "Hello, Mrs. Davis. I'm Alyssa Tanner and it's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am."
Next to me, Lou-Lou gasps.
Momma appraises Alyssa for a few moments before wiping her hand on her apron and shaking Alyssa's hand. "It's nice to meet you too, and please; call me Momma."
Lou-Lou's glass falls to the ground and I instinctively reach over and give her knee a squeeze.
I'm going to make it a point to pull Momma aside after breakfast and talk to her about Lou-Lou.
Lou-Lou promptly removes my hand from her knee and gives me a dirty look.
I'm not sure what I did to her since last night, but fuck this shit. I'm not going to sit here and just take her treating me like this.
She's on her own for breakfast this morning.
My frustration bubbles and that little voice from before gnaws at me. Only it's stronger and this time...I can't seem to stuff it down.
Last night, I made love to a woman I'd do anything to save.
And this morning, she's slowly ripping my heart out.
Chapter 12 (Lou-Lou)
Maybe it's all the hormones running through my body, or the fact that my whole entire world just got rocked...but I'm seriously considering stabbing this bitch Alyssa with my fork.
Not only is 'Momma' enamored by her, for reasons I'll never understand...considering we met under similar circumstances and she hated me right away—but it seems like everyone else is enamored with her too.
Including Ricardo.
My jaw clenches as I recall that DeLuca specifically told me to play the video in front of him.
He wouldn't say that, not unless Ricardo had some kind of history with her.
Clearly, he's been lying to me.
I'm so mad I can barely even see straight.
Hands down this has been one of the worst days of my life.
I pat my belly under the table. At least I still have you, Thumper.
Despite my foul mood, I smile when I hear that Shelby ended up walking out of her wedding rehearsal because of Tyrone.
Tyrone's a great guy, he deserves happiness. Apparently, he doesn't think so, though—because he shakes his head and says, "No. There's too much water under the bridge. Too much devastation in our wake."
I'm about to open my mouth and tell him to go after her, but of course, the bitch opens her mouth and gives her two cents before I can.
"Don't be stupid. You better go after her," she says, while I fight the urge to pour my orange juice over her head.
Everyone looks at her in a combination of surprise and awe.
I grind my molars as she continues, "I'm just saying that when you love someone. You don't give up on them. You fight for them. It doesn't matter what obstacles are standing in the way."
She takes a breath and I silently hope she's finished running her yap.
"When you love someone," she continues, much to my dismay. "You hold their hand when they're too scared to move forward because all they've ever known is a past that's full of despair and emptiness. When you love someone, you realize that every bit of pain you ever endured is worth it because you found the person who's the very best part of your life." She shrugs. "Or at least, that's how I imagine love is supposed to be. Despite whatever bullshit might have happened between you two."
I'm so mad, I swear there's smoke coming out of my ears.
A past that's full of despair and emptiness?
Pain?
This bitch wouldn't know the definition of true pain if it smacked her upside her blonde head and crawled up her ass.
Pain is being forced to choose between your baby and the man you love.
Pain is being forced to endure disgusting things night after night, by the one person who's supposed to love and protect you.
No...she doesn't know shit about actual pain.
She was too busy smiling for cameras, attending college, and living her 'little miss perfect' life.
I snort and make a face at her. She might have everyone else at the table fooled with her 'innocent barbie' act she's got going on, but she doesn't have me fo
oled for a second.
She's not as perfect as she pretends to be. I can see her cracks and I want to expose each and every one of them.
I rest my elbows on the table and rub my temples. I can feel my jealousy building to an inferno and I swear, if she says one more fucking thing...my cork's going to blow.
I tune into the rest of the conversation and take a deep breath.
Momma points the spatula in Alyssa's direction. "I knew I had a good feeling about her. She's right, baby. You cain't never could. Which is why I bought you a plane ticket. We leave in a few hours." She pauses and looks at Ricardo. "Don't worry. He'll be back by Monday."
She grimaces. "And if he's a little late you tell that no good, son-of-a-bitch De—"
"That's great," Jackson says, cutting Momma off. "I think you should go," he tells Tyrone.
Tyrone looks at Jackson. "Yeah, alright. But you know what will happen if it doesn't work out, right?"
"Don't worry. I'll have a bottle of Jack Daniel's ready to go and a copy of Nelly's greatest hits in the CD player. Along with a few Hulk dvd's," Jackson says.
Tyrone smiles and reaches over to give Jackson a pound. "My man."
Beside me, Ricardo laughs, and I ignore how my heart jumps at the sound. "You better lock that up quick, Alyssa. Looks like you might have some competition on your hands."
I glare at him but he ignores me.
Alyssa leans forward and crinkles her nose. "I'm not afraid of a little competition." She hikes a thumb in Tyrone's direction. "However, I don't think I can possibly compare to this alpha male with his pretty piercing over here."
The entire room erupts in laughter and I lean back and suck my teeth.
I can't take another second of this. It's time people see her for what and who she really is.
The old Lou-Lou's officially come out to play.
"So," I say while narrowing my eyes at Alyssa. "I take it you spent the night in Jackson's bed? Really giving it the old college try with him, huh? Tell me, how was it at NYU?"
Everyone goes silent and Alyssa blinks and looks down, shame all across her face.
Good.
Ricardo's jaw flexes and he gives me a murderous look.
And that look? Confirms all my suspicions. There's no way he would give me that look unless he cared about Alyssa.
