by Dani René
My thoughts are interrupted by Harry and Henry, who are currently laughing their asses off about something on a branch to my left.
“Hey, Benji,” Harry calls to me, barely able to get the words out through his laughter.”
“What the hell is so funny?” I ask them.
“What do you call bees that make milk?” Henry asks.
I shake my head and shrug my shoulders at them.
“Boo-bees!” they shout in unison, practically falling out of the tree in a fit of laughter.
I roll my eyes, but can’t keep the smile off of my face as I turn my attention back to the only home I’ve ever known. It’s then I see something floating in the air above the tower.
“I think I see something!” I shout, turning the attention of each of my brothers to the castle.
Straining my eyes, I try to identify the object, but it’s getting harder as the sky grows dark with the storm. Lightning shoots across the sky a second later, illuminating the scarlet red flag and delivering the inexorable fate of our future.
Thankful for the rain, which blends in with the tears streaming down my face, I turn to James.
“We can’t go home.”
His eyes close with devastation and I’ve never seen him look so defeated before. The next few minutes are quiet as all of us stare at James, awaiting his direction. I look to Harry and Henry once more and take in their grim expressions. I can’t remember the last time I saw either of them without a smile on their faces or a lightness in their eyes. I look back to James, whose face is now contorted with anger.
It makes sense, he had the most to lose. He is Father’s rightful heir, after all.
“Everyone down!” James scares me from my thoughts.
None of us moves.
“Now!” he shouts.
We begin our descent back to the soggy forest floor beneath us in silence. Once there, we watch as James paces back and forth. No one wanting to speak but each of us begging to ask him what he’s thinking.
My eyes are trained on my feet as I wait. The more I watched James, the more his anger frightened me. As if I was watching all of his good traits being eaten away by fury. I saw the look on some of my other brother’s faces and they’re just as enraged as he is.
My terrified mind is screaming at me to run home to Mother and make her reason with Father. But at the same time, my heart hurts knowing Father would kill her if she tried.
After what feels like an eternity, James speaks.
“We will walk these woods until we find a new home. There, we will rebuild our life and no one will speak of Mother or Father again,” James looks around at each of us with rigid severity in his stare. “To speak of them is to commit treason; the punishment for which is death.”
I look around at my brothers and watch as they all nod their heads toward James.
“Furthermore, from this day forward we take an oath to destroy any woman who comes into our path,” his eyes lock onto mine as he voices his declaration and the ice in his stare chills me to the bone, “by any means necessary.”
Chapter One
Jocelyn
Eighteen years later
“Jocelyn!”
The sound of Mother’s voice in my ears has me groaning with irritation.
“Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you,” she enters my room with a wide smile across her beautiful face.
I love her very much, but the only thing she and Father ever want to talk about is marrying me off to a family that we can benefit from. My family is the richest of all of the royal families we know. We have everything we could possibly need.
It's our duty to strengthen our ties with our allies and secure our family’s future.
Father’s voice rings out in my head.
“Good morning,” I reply with a small smile.
“You slept late today. I thought I would find you with your ladies in the parlor, but they said they haven’t seen you yet.”
“I’ve been tired lately.”
That’s a lie. The truth is, I haven’t been able to sleep more than an hour or two for a very long time.
For years, I’ve felt like something has been missing in my life; like I am incomplete. Like I don’t belong. I have no idea why. I can’t go anywhere without a small crowd of people surrounding me, yet I feel completely alone.
Then, last night as I was entering Mother’s quarters, I overheard her praying for her sons. I didn’t know what to think, other than she’d gone mad, just as Father had long ago.
“Are you feeling well?” Mother asks, as she places her hand on my forehead.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Wonderful! Come, we have a lot to discuss!”
Mother has been droning on for an hour about all of the suitors she has lined up for me to meet. My ladies are following us, ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ over each name that’s mentioned.
“He’s so dreamy,” they tell me.
“You’re so lucky,” they insist.
“While your father and I both agree that marrying the Duke of Beaufort would be the most advantageous match, ultimately the choice is yours. We will be by your side the entire evening. You won’t have to go through this alone.”
What she means is, they will be there to tell me which men to cast out and which to consider, no matter what my opinion is. I don’t know why we have to go through with the stupid ball, I already know that I will be married off to the Duke. They think they’re doing me a favor by letting me meet with all of these men, but my feelings don’t matter.
“Jocelyn?”
My thoughts are interrupted by Mother.
“Yes?”
“I asked if you had any questions.”
“Oh,” I say.
I do have a question. A question that has nothing to do with unwanted suitors and a ball. I’ve asked Mother before if she ever wanted more children. She dismissed my question quickly, and her and Father made me promise never to ask it again. I agreed, and never felt the need to bring it up after that. That is until I overheard Mother’s prayers last night.
“Is James my brother?”
Mother’s eyes fight to keep from going wide with surprise.
“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She looks around at the group of us uncomfortably.
“And Benjamin? Louis? Harry? What about the other names you rattled off in your prayers last night? Do I have siblings?”
“Are you sure you aren’t feeling sick?” she places her hand on my forehead again, but I grab her arm and tear it away from me.
“Leave us!” I shout.
When my ladies have cleared the room, I speak again.
“I’m not feeling sick, Mother. Who are they?”
She takes a deep breath and I wait for her to lie to me again.
“You want me to marry the Duke? Fine. I’ll do it. But not until you tell me who they are.”
“Come with me,” she says after several moments.
She takes me by the hand and leads me down into the dungeons of the castle. The echo of our footsteps on stone mixes with the sound of water dripping the further down we go.
After what feels like we’ve marched to the center of the Earth, she leads me down a long, dark hallway, not stopping until we reach a door at the very end.
“No one knows about them,” she says as she turns to me.
“Who, Mother?”
“Your brothers.”
My eyes widen with shock as the word leaves her lips. It takes a moment for my brain to process what she said. All these years, I think I’ve known. The parts of myself that I felt were missing, were here in the castle all along.
I enter the underground mausoleum and take in the crypts surrounding me. Each of them, adorned with flowers and candles of different lengths burning, wax dripping its way over the smooth gold candelabra that holds it in place, and onto the stone they’re perched on.
I see name placards on the wall above each cryp
t.
James, Edward, Andrew, Frederick, George, Harry, Henry, Louis, Christopher, Philip, Alexander, Benjamin.
Twelve.
“I—I have twelve brothers?”
“Had,” Mother corrects me.
We’re both silent for a few moments, Mother allowing me the time I need for it to sink in.
“My entire life, I’ve felt as though there were holes in my story. I never imagined there would be twelve of them though.”
“I’m sorry that we kept it a secret from you, but it was for your own safety.”
“I don’t understand.”
Mother takes my hands and leads me to a bench between two of the crypts.
“Everyone thinks we lost them to the black death while traveling the year you were born.”
“Is that not how they died?”
“Joce, I shouldn’t say anything else. It could put you in grave danger.
“You’re scaring me, Mother.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, now,” Mother’s head snaps back to the doorway as if checking that we haven’t been followed. “I—I sent your brothers away the day you were born.”
“What? Why?”
“I had to. For their safety and yours. Your father wanted you to rule and he was planning on killing them because of it. That’s all I can say. I’m begging you to drop it, now.”
This is lunacy. A complete outrage. Fury races through my body as I become angrier at the woman standing in front of me.
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. And to think that I am the reason for all of this? It’s heartbreaking! You stole the life of your children. The life that I have, that's the life that they should have all had!”
“Jocelyn, it’s not that simple. You don’t know what your father was like back then.”
“You’re right. I don’t. But I can’t imagine anything being worse than choosing one child over all of my other children, and then forcing them out of my life forever.”
With that I turn for the door and race from the mausoleum as quickly as I can.
“Joce—!”
Mother’s voice echoes through the tunnel behind me as I run toward the steps that brought me down here. The steps that brought me face to face with this heartbreaking truth. There is only one way to make this right.
I need to find my brothers. This is what I’ve been missing in my life. I don’t belong here; I belong with them.
Chapter Two
Jocelyn
I’ve been traveling through the woods for two whole days. The crisp autumn air cuts through my clothing and chills me to the bone. I am not cut out for this. I much prefer enjoying the sight of the leaves changing from the warmth and security of my home.
It’s not home any longer.
I have no idea how far I’ve gotten. I’ve tried turning back, but I keep going in circles. I’ve always known that the castle is surrounded by a thick forest, but I didn’t realize exactly how many miles deep it goes.
My knees are weak. My stomach screams at me to fill it. I am freezing and exhausted, having barely slept the night before. I stop for a moment and sift through my bag, seeing what’s left of my rations. Before I left, I snuck into the kitchen to grab a few small snacks for my journey. Bailey, our chef’s daughter, caught me.
I tried to lie my way out of it, but I ended up telling her I was leaving. After I made her promise she wouldn’t tell anyone, she helped me gather some food. She also stole some clothing from the stable boy. She told me that I would get farther in my journey if I wasn’t in a corset and skirt.
I couldn’t imagine being as tired and beaten down as I am and still be in my normal clothing. I am grateful to her for the suggestion. But now, it’s as if none of that mattered. I fear I am going to freeze to death or die of dehydration out here before ever reaching my destination, wherever that may be.
I take a seat on the cold forest floor, my back leaning against a fallen tree for support. My eyelids grow heavy as I chew the minuscule amount of food I have left. I wash it down with the few remaining drops of water in my canteen. I can’t even enjoy it, knowing it may be the last thing I will ever eat.
I’m so incredibly stupid thinking that I would be able to find them. They must be hundreds or thousands of miles from here. I brush away the tears from my cheeks, angry that I am upset about my current situation. Knowing that I’ve lived a very privileged life these past eighteen years, while my brothers...
Is this where their journey ended?
Did they make it to a new land?
To a new life?
Are they happy?
As that last thought floats through my head, I succumb to the weight of the fatigue pulling on my eyelids and lose the battle to keep them open.
I don’t know how long I’d been out when I am awoken by the sound of people standing over me. Keeping my eyes closed, I pretend to still be asleep. I’m scared of what they might do if they know I’m awake.
“We’ve never come across a girl this far into the woods before. What do you think she’s doing all the way out here?” A man’s voice rings out from above.
“What is she wearing?” Another man chimes in.
“You idiots don’t actually think she would come all the way out here in a dress, do you?”
That makes three.
“Well, no, but I wouldn’t expect to see a girl all the way out here in the first place,” the second man adds. “Especially not all by herself.”
The way he finishes his sentence, the sly snigger, the sexual connotation he uses, frightens me.
Do I open my eyes?
Will they hurt me?
Will they help me?
“We need to bring her to James,” the third voice says again.
James.
My brother James?
I silently implore them to speak another name. I wait for one of them to speak again, for them to shake me, to wake me up. Instead, I feel strong arms slide underneath me and pull me into his warm chest.
“You got her Benji? She heavy?”
“No,” the third man pauses and I can tell he’s staring me in the face.
Benji? That name wasn’t in the mausoleum.
I can’t keep my eyes closed any longer. I’m barely able to open them, but when I do, it’s as if I am looking in the mirror. The same hazel eyes that I see every time I look at my reflection are staring back at me.
“She’s light as a feather,” he finishes.
Oh, Benji! Short for Benjamin, of course. He’s looking at me like he’s seen me before. Does he know who I am?
“Let’s get going then, this deer won’t cook itself.”
My head falls against his hard chest as my eyes close, once again succumbing to a deep slumber.
“I just feel like we should think about it this time. Not jump to any decision too quickly.”
“Why now? What is different about this girl than all the rest?”
I hear a new voice speaking when I’m awoken again. But this time, the voices are farther away. I open my eyes, curious where I am. There isn’t much to see, but I can tell that I am in a cellar. A slight light peeks through the slats in the ceiling above me, shining down on a pile of root vegetables nearby. I look up from my shallow bed of hay and watch as the men walk across the floor above me.
Does the fresh voice belong to James?
Are these men really my brothers or am I deluding myself thinking I’ve found them?
“I can’t say for sure, I just—she seems familiar, that’s all. I’d like to find out who she is first.”
“You shouldn’t name a pet you know you can’t keep, little Benji,” I recognize this voice as one of the men in the woods who found me.
“Stop fucking calling me that!”
“Knock it off, you two!” The new voice demands. “You sound just like you did when you were young.”
They’re definitely brothers. But are these men my brothers?
“Harry is right, you know. We aren’t in the busin
ess of keeping women around. We get what we want from them and send them to their graves.”
Harry.
These are my brothers.
But how can that be?
How can they be so cruel?
How would you feel if they had cast you out of the only home you’ve ever known and forced to make a new life for yourself?
My conscience reminds me of why I’m here. To make things right.
“I know, but—”
“Bring her to me.”
The authoritative sound of his voice sends a chill up my spine. That must be my eldest brother, James. That would be why the others do as he says. He’s taken on the role of King, just as he would have done had Mother and Father not ruined their lives. I’m terrified to tell them who I am. Will they kill me right away, without giving me a chance to explain? I have to try.
In seconds, I hear the sound of boots pounding down the steps to the cellar. I stand and wait to come face to face with one of my brothers. His eyes widen a bit when he sees me and there’s a slight hesitation in his step. I swallow nervously but hold my head high. Controlling the surprise on his face, he marches forward and grabs me by my forearm, hauling me up the steps behind him.
He nudges me into the middle of the group of them when we reach the top of the steps. The kitchen that they’re standing in is grand. It was hard to tell from the cellar, but it appears that they live in a manor fit for a Duke. The idea that they’re not homeless or living in a run-down shack makes me happy, but I am curious how they’ve been able to live such a lavish life after being cast out.
I meet their eyes, one at a time, starting with the one who yanked me up here. Is he Harry? Or is the identical man standing next to him Harry? They’re both very muscular with straight, blonde hair, parted to the side, that hangs in their faces slightly. The clear blue eyes staring back at me are the same as Father’s.
My eyes move on to the third man standing before me. He’s the one who carried me here.
